In view of God's mercy

A Woman's Influence

2012-01-30T13:00:00.002-05:00

My husband values my opinion. When he has a big decision to make, or a serious idea weighing on his mind, he seeks my counsel. When he is working on a sermon, like he has been the last two weeks, he asks what I think about the text. There are a thousand little decisions that he makes throughout his days without talking to me about them, but when big things are on the line, we talk because he cares about what I think.

Because my husband values my opinion so much, I often think about what I say to him and how I influence him. What I say matters to him. And while he is the leader of our home and the buck ultimately stops with him, I never want to use my influence to manipulate him or influence him negatively.

I’ve been reading through Kings and Chronicles the last few weeks. Usually I’m struck by the sad commentary on the life of the kings in Israel and Judah. With the exception of a rare few, many of them turned away from God and worshipped the idols of the land. But something else stood out to me more forcefully this time.

The influence of their wives.

Solomon was the wisest king who ever lived. But as we now know, he didn’t end well. He disobeyed God’s law and married foreign women—women who drew his heart away from God. For the rest of the history of the kings of Judah and Israel, they repeatedly married women who were idol worshippers and against God and his people.

And Solomon was not alone. The first marriage was no different. In the Garden of Eden we see Eve believing the lies of Satan and dragging her husband down with her. And when God’s people begin to grow and are living among idol worshippers, he repeatedly reminded them to flee from unholy marriages—marriages that united them to the surrounding nations. Why was God so concerned about who they married? God knew the power of the marriage relationship, because he created it. The Old Testament repeatedly plays out this theme of marriages that were outside of God’s design, and therefore led to problems for his people.

Obviously, the influence of an unbelieving spouse goes both ways. So a husband could just as easily lead his wife astray. But I think women have a unique ability to influence their husbands unlike anyone else in his life.

Proverbs 31:11 says that the heart of a husband trusts in his wife. He trusts that she will do him good. He trusts in her love for him. He relies on her as his helper and companion. There is no greater bond than the marriage relationship. God knew what he was doing when he commanded Christians to marry Christians. So when we see marriages like Ahab and Jezebel in Kings, we feel the tension of her overwhelming influence over him and his complete abdication of responsibility. She used her power to influence him to love what she loved—the gods of this world.

So what does this mean for believing women? Can we still influence our husbands in ways that are not helpful? Obviously, by God’s grace we won’t be drawing their hearts away to worship idols, but we might use our power in less obvious ways.

Women can be master manipulators. We can twist a story, use emotion, use our knowledge of our husband’s weaknesses and strengths, and use his love for us to get what we want. So here are a few questions to ask ourselves:

Do we withhold information?
I know I am prone to do this. I might not “lie”, but I might keep out important details to influence my husband to do something that I want him to do.

Do we use sex?
This is fairly self-explanatory, but we can use our sexuality and bodies for our own gain, rather than giving our bodies freely to our husbands as a gift, not leverage.

Do we use the power of affirmation?
Men want to know that they are doing well. I’ve seen my husband be empowered to lead more boldly and fulfill his responsibilities with greater strength all because I’ve encouraged him in what God is already doing in his life. The flip side of this is that we can easily use the power of words for our own advantage to get what we want.

It’s easy to look at the sinful women in the Old Testament and think that this has nothing to do with us. In some senses, that’s true. They were unsaved idol worshippers, we are trusting in Christ and saved by his righteousness. But do our husbands trust us because we do them good all of our days? Or do they trust us because we have learned how to use our role as wives for our own gain?

A wife has tremendous influence in her marriage relationship. Women have been using this influence since the beginning of time. The real question is how we are using this influence. As redeemed women, bought by the blood of Christ, let us use our influence to do our husbands good all of our days.

My name is Courtney. It's nice to meet you.

2012-01-27T11:50:00.003-05:00

I have been doing this little blog for nearly 4 years now. Crazy! A lot has happened from 2007 to 2012, and the blog has been there for it all. I have been on two mission trips. I confessed to being a recovering feminist. I moved to Louisville to attend seminary. I met my amazing husband and got married. I struggled through learning how to be a wife. My grandpa passed away during our first year of marriage. I miscarried shortly after our one year wedding anniversary. Daniel graduated from seminary. We moved to Little Rock to plant a church. And now, we are walking through infertility. It has been a wild, crazy, fun, and sorrowful ride.

"Don't Waste Your Infertility" brought some of you to this blog. Some of you have been here for a while. Some of you are my family and friends. Some of you are far away friends. But none of you are strangers. I'm the kind of extrovert who hasn't ever really met a stranger. So if you are new here, let me be the first to welcome you to my blog. I'm glad you are here. If you lived near me, I would totally have you over for coffee. But since many of you are not, I'm glad we can connect through this little thing called the internet.

The blog is called In View of God's Mercy, and that's what leads me to write. God has saved me and bestowed his mercy upon me. My thoughts are in light of that amazing reality. Sometimes I write about personal things. Sometimes I write about cultural things. Sometimes I write about food (yum!). But most of the time I just write about the things he is teaching me on this journey called life. So if you are an old friend around here, consider this a little update/refresher. If you are new, thanks for stopping by. I'm glad to walk this road with you.

The Power of Persistence

2012-01-26T16:43:00.000-05:00

“And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.” –Luke 18:1

Do you lose heart? Do you find yourself growing weary of daily coming to the Lord only to be met with a “no” or “not now” answer? Do you even believe he will answer you when you call to him?

This verse begins the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18:1-8. Jesus told parables to bring truths to greater light for those who had ears to hear it, and to further blind those who were unwilling to see the light. In this case, Luke tells us that Jesus is telling this parable to encourage his hearers and to teach them that they should always pray. We know that these hearers are his disciples because of the previous verses that reveal that Jesus is simply continuing his teaching to them from Luke 17.

So why does Jesus see the need to encourage them and spur them on to fervency in prayer? He knows what’s coming. There was going to be a day where he was no longer with them. There was coming a day where all of the external circumstances would seem like God had forgotten them. In those days, discouragement and fear over God’s care for them would surely follow. So he teaches them through a parable—a parable that highlights the character of God.

Jesus, through the parable of the persistent widow, was showing his disciples that by the very nature of his character, God is able and willing to answer prayer and give good gifts to his children. Why was he doing this? So they wouldn’t lose heart. Jesus knows the human condition. He knows our tendency to grow weary—especially when our prayers seem to be unanswered. He experienced it acutely. He knows what it feels like to be tempted towards discouragement—and even more than that, he knows the answer for it. So he tells the disciples (and us) a parable. The ones who have ears will hear and not lose heart.

So what are the implications of this for us? Jesus is showing us how we must beseech God in our distress—boldly and with hope. We can approach him boldly because we know that, unlike the judge in the parable, God is a gracious and merciful God who delights in giving good things to us. And we can come with hope because we know that he will act. His character tells us so.

Jesus wants us to see the kindness of the Father in greater measure in this parable. He wants us to look at the character of this judge, in stark contrast to the gracious and merciful character of the Father, and have hope. God will answer our prayers. God will act on our behalf.

But then Jesus poses the real question: “Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” Jesus begins and ends the parable with his reasoning for speaking in this way. Will you trust him? Will you look to the character of God for your basis for persisting even when you are overcome with adversity, or will you lose heart and fall away proving that you were never saved? The stakes are high, but you serve a faithful God. He will bring you to the last day. He will execute justice for you. He will answer your constant petitions to him. We don’t worship an absentee Father. Hold on to his promises to you. Cry out to him day and night. He will act.

This encourages me so much, especially when how I feel towards praying can be so up and down lately. I have seen him show up and rescue me from despair after days and days of begging him to give me eyes to see his glory. The day will come, dear Christian. Be like the persistent widow. Plead with God to answer you when you call to him. And he will show up. His character is gracious and kind. And he delights to give good gifts to his children.

The Supremacy of Christ and Roe v. Wade

2012-01-22T17:43:00.006-05:00

Yesterday marked the 39th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to legalize abortion in every state. And while we grieve and fight to end abortion in our own country, we recognize that the slaughter of millions of children through infanticide is a worldwide epidemic. In our own country it's primarily through abortion, in other countries it shows up in sex-selection abortions and murdering of infants simply because they are female. It's horrific from every angle and it's a reality we must face.

Last week, my students learned about the image of God in my marriage and family class. The primary emphasis being that to understand marriage, to understand what it means to be male and female, we must first understand what it means to be created in the image of God. This has implications for a variety of things in our life, the most relevant one today is that all children regardless of gestational age are image bearers of our Creator. On Friday we watched a video by Voddie Baucham on the image of God and something he said stood out to me as I watched the above video. He essentially said that atrocities like slavery were eventually ended because of the supremacy of Christ. Why? Because Christians, who trusted in Christ as the supreme and greatest treasure, believed that all human beings were created in the image of God. They had incredible worth and value, regardless of the color of their skin. And that was worth fighting for.

What does that mean for us today? What does that mean for us as millions of babies have been murdered in this country alone? What does that mean for the woman in India who thinks that her eight daughters mean less in this world than one son? It means that, as Christians, we have an answer to the horror. We can fight with boldness because of what we know about God's creation. We can pray with passion because we know that God cares about baby girls in India and first-trimester babies in America. And we can trust that one day our Savior, King Jesus, will return and make all things new--from the repentant abortionist to the discarded baby.

Friday is for Food: Grilled Chicken Sandwiches

2012-01-20T09:57:00.003-05:00

Spicy Chicken and Arugula Sandwich
from Cooking Light (I changed it a bit)

Ingredients:
2 (6 oz.) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 tablespoon of fajita seasoning
1/4 cup light mayo
3 tablespoons of chopped fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon of grated lime rind
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 (9 oz.) round loaf focaccia, halved horizontally (I used ciabatta rolls instead)
1 medium ripe tomato, sliced thinly
Sliced red onion (if you like red onion)
1 1/2 cups of trimmed arugula (I used spring lettuce and spinach mix, so you can use any green that you want)

Directions:
Heat grill
Place plastic wrap over chicken; pound each piece to a 1/4 inch thickness using a meat mallet or rolling pin. Sprinkle both sides of chicken with fajita seasoning. Add chicken to grill.

While chicken is cooking, combine mayo, cilantro, rind, and juice; spread evenly over cut bread. Arrange chicken on the bottom half of bread; top with arugula (or lettuce), tomato, and onion. Cover with top half of the bread.

Serve with Paula Deen's sweet potato fries and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

Keller on Marriage

2012-01-16T11:09:00.002-05:00

"I'm tired of listening to sentimental talks on marriage. At weddings, in church, and in Sunday School, much of what I've heard on the subject has as much depth as a Hallmark card. While marriage is many things, it is anything but sentimental. Marriage is glorious but hard. It's burning joy and strength, and yet it is also blood, sweat, and tears, humbling defeats and exhausting victories. No marriage I know more than a few weeks old could be described as a fairy tale come true. Therefore, it is not surprising that the only phrase in Paul's famous discourse on marriage in Ephesians 5 that many couples can relate to is verse 32. Sometimes you fall into bed, after a long hard day of trying to understand each other, and you can only sigh: 'This is all a profound mystery!' At times, your marriage seems to be an unsolvable puzzle, a maze in which you feel lost."

"I believe all this, and yet there's no relationship between human beings that is greater or more important than marriage. In the Bible's account, God himself officiates at the first wedding (Genesis 2:22-25). And when the man sees the woman, he breaks into poetry and exclaims, 'At last!' Everything in the text proclaims that marriage, next to our relationship with God, is the most profound relationship there is. And that is why, like knowing God himself, coming to know and love your spouse is difficult and painful yet rewarding and wondrous."

"The most painful, the most rewarding - this is the Biblical understanding of marriage, and that has never been a more important time to lift it up and give it prominence in our culture."

-Tim and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

As I prepare to teach my first marriage and family class to high school students tomorrow, I'm praying that I accurately and faithfully teach these realities to the next generation.

The Kate Middleton Baby Watch, and Why We Shouldn't Participate

2012-01-12T10:06:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, Her.meneutics (the Christianity Today women's blog) ran a post I wrote about the hype surrounding whether or not Kate Middleton will have a baby this year. It seems to me that our cultural obsession with a little royal is an exaggerated snapshot of our comfort with asking people we hardly know when they will have kids. Sometimes our lack of knowledge about their situation, coupled with questions about their plans, can bring more pain to their situation. Obviously, this doesn't pertain to everyone, nor is it the same thing as asking good friends about their plans for children. It's more of a general observation and some thoughts on how to think through the questions we ask people we don't know very well.

In the post, I say:

You never really know where people are. I’ve seen people ask a woman when she was going to add another child to her bunch, only to find out later that she had miscarried a week earlier. She and her husband were trying; it just wasn’t public information. We tend to be really comfortable with asking couples when they might want to have children, but we tend be unaware of the fact that these questions might bring pain rather than encouragement. Unless we are invested in the lives of young couples in our churches, we don’t know about their circumstances any more than we know about Middleton’s.

Of course, the answer is not an end to all pregnancy questions. Children are a gift from the Lord and should be welcomed and celebrated. One of the things we often fail to embrace when we ask such questions is that conception is not a man-made invention. Even the most fertile couple in the world can “plan” their family only to be met with a little “surprise” earlier than they had scheduled. God is the author of life, an oft-forgotten concept in our zeal for new children. But as Christians, our questions should always be laced with sensitivity and, more often than is true, restraint. Thinking through your questions before you ask them can bring a wealth of grace and encouragement to a couple who might be facing infertility or the loss of a child.

Read the rest here.

Don't Waste Your Infertility

2012-01-10T20:42:00.002-05:00

It’s been a few months since we received the hard news that our struggle with infertility would require more treatment before we are able to proceed with trying to get pregnant. Few things feel worse than waking up from surgery and hearing the words, “it was worse than the doctor thought, you will need more treatment.” I went into surgery hopeful and came out feeling like I had been punched in the stomach (physically and emotionally). This is not how we planned it to be. This is hardly what we wanted. And this diagnosis only prolonged, and solidified, that we weren’t just a couple who was having a hard time getting pregnant again. We were infertile, at least for the time being.

I wish I could say that my response to this news has always been Christ-like and admirable. It hasn’t. But through this trial, God has taught me some specific things about his character, my depravity, and his goodness in all things. I believe that God is absolutely sovereign over my infertility in the same way that I believe he was sovereign over my miscarriage. It was not a surprise to him. In fact, it was designed by him for my good, and he doesn’t want me to waste this suffering. Below are a few things I’ve learned about not wasting my infertility. It’s hardly exhaustive, but it’s a start. If you are struggling with infertility too, I pray that God uses it to encourage you as we walk this road together.

Not wasting your infertility starts with a deep and abiding trust in the God who knows the end of your infertility. He knows the end of it because he gave it to you (Gen. 50:20; Job 2:10; Ps. 88:6-7). But he also knows the end of it because only he can truly heal your body and give you a baby. He is worthy of your trust. Get to know him more deeply through his word. Study it. Live off of it. You will find that he is good all of the time, that he loves you more than you know, and that he wants to give you a greater knowledge of himself through this devastating trial. In his word you will find comfort for your soul. Not wasting your infertility is a constant fight to see God as good, but it’s a fight worth having.

Not wasting your infertility means you worship even when your heart is breaking (Job 1:21). John Piper says that the “unwasted life is the one that continually puts Christ on display.” That’s what worship is, giving God the glory due his name. Worship means treasuring Christ above all things, even a baby. God gets the glory (and you get the joy) when, like Job, you bless his name even in the deepest moments of your pain and suffering.

Along the lines of the previous two points, not wasting your infertility means praying boldly. Only when we trust God as the all-sufficient creator, healer, sustainer, and good God that he is can we worship him, and also pray to him boldly. Knowing God enables us to pray to him with confidence that he can and will act in our best interests. Infertility is a disease of the helpless. You can’t change your condition. You can’t make two blue lines show up on a pregnancy test instead of one. But God can. Your experience with being utterly helpless to change your circumstance puts you in fellowship with many biblical characters. Pray like King David in the Psalms (see Psalm 27, 28, 30, 56, 62 and many others). He faced great difficulty and tribulation. His prayers were honest, bold, and worshipful because he trusted in God to be his hope and salvation

Not wasting your infertility doesn’t mean you don’t grieve and feel pain. This might seem like an odd addition, especially when statements like “don’t waste this season” are the entire point of the post. But the unwasted life isn’t the triumphalistic life. The apostle Paul accurately described walking through this life as, “sorrowful yet always rejoicing” (2 Cor. 6:10). That applies to infertility as well. We are sorrowful because it’s devastating, painful, and sometimes lifelong. But we are rejoicing because we have hope that this is not all there is. It’s not that we are happy with our circumstances. There is nothing happy about not being able to get pregnant. Oh, but there is a great Savior who has given us everything we need through his death—including comfort in our pain.

Not wasting your infertility means taking your thoughts and emotions captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5). Infertility brings with it a minefield of scary scenarios and questions (What if I can’t get pregnant? What if I miscarry again? What if I can’t afford treatment). Those thoughts tend to bring emotions, which then bring stress and worry. Infertility, like all suffering, has a way of putting pressure on us and our relationships. But infertility doesn’t bring with it a free pass on how I treat people, my husband especially. It also doesn’t give me license to daydream about the myriad of “What if’s” that come with infertility. I have learned this the hard way. God gave us real emotions and feelings, but they are not morally neutral. And our husbands are real people who are often hurting just as much as we are. The concept of talking to yourself, instead of listening to yourself is especially helpful when you feel your emotions taking over. Ask yourself, “is this feeling true?” (Phil. 4:8). If it is, you have a faithful, sympathetic Savior who understands your feelings. If it’s not, that same Savior is able to comfort you and change your feelings for his glory.

I didn’t put any practical suggestions in this post because I’ve learned that practical application is often person-specific. What helps me stay busy and use my season of waiting for the good of others might not work for other people, and that’s normal. But even more important, the practical cannot happen unless we embrace Christ as our greatest treasure in our season of infertility. Sure, we can find ways to stay busy to take our mind off of the pain, and those are good things to do (I’ve done it). But busyness in order to run from the suffering is not the same thing as busyness in order to fill the season with good things. God has designed suffering to chisel us more into the image of Christ, to draw us closer to himself, and to give us a greater vision and understanding of his glory. We could easily miss that if we fill our schedules in order to forget.

I don’t know the outcome of my journey of infertility. As of right now, I know that I’ve still got a road ahead of me that needs to be traveled. I don’t know where you, dear reader, are at either. But I do know this: no matter where we are in the journey of infertility, God has a lesson for us. His purposes for us are sure and good. He will test us, he will chisel us, and he will show us more of himself every step of the way. And after he has tried us, by his grace, we will come forth as gold (Job 23:10).

Friday is for Fotos: My Favorite Pictures

2012-01-06T11:14:00.004-05:00

Next week I will get back to a Friday Food post. I just haven't made anything new and creative since we have been back, but I have some new stuff planned for next week's menu. So for today, I leave you with my two favorite pictures from our trip home. These pictures capture my husband perfectly. He loves children and babies, and Rebekah had been a little fussy before Uncle Daniel was holding her. After some quality time with Uncle Daniel, she was as content as she could be!

Happy Friday!

Thanking God for Grace in Others

2012-01-05T12:53:00.001-05:00

It’s a vicious cycle. You see a woman who does something really well, let’s say cooking, and you initially admire her and praise her for her kitchen prowess. The admiration might turn into inquiring how she became so proficient at making meals for her family. Then a little voice begins speaking, “You can’t cook like that. Your dinners always turn out bland and uncreative. You are lucky if you don’t burn dinner. Stop trying, she is just better than you.” What was once admiration has now turned into discouraging comparison, and now you are just straight-up jealous.

It’s hard, isn’t it? There is always someone who is more creative, more organized, more physically fit, more kind, more whatever than us. If we let ourselves, we can easily spiral out of control with discontentment, jealousy, and discouragement over what we are not and what we wish we could be. And as the proverbial saying goes, the grass really is always greener on the other side. When we believe these lies of comparison we will never truly be satisfied, primarily because we are disobeying God’s word and allowing the sin of discontent to rule our lives.

One of the things I’ve done in the past when I’ve seen a character quality or evidence of grace I admire in someone is to thank God for that grace and ask for the same measure of grace in my own life. When I see a wife lovingly serve, respect, and submit to her husband, I’ve prayed that God would give me that same gracious spirit. When I see a marriage thrive in love and grace, I have asked God to be pleased to work that same outcome in my own marriage. When I’m tempted to wallow in self-pity when I see my life in comparison to hers, my mind is filled with thoughts like “why can’t I be ____?” “I wish I was ____.” Questions like this inevitably lead me to despair. I can’t make myself do anything. I can’t change my personality. I can’t change my sinful tendencies on my own. So instead of looking to the faithful giver of grace to change, I’m ruled by my longing for something different. God is the giver of all good things and the grace to change. Instead of sinfully comparing myself to everyone else, I should be thanking God for the gracious gifts he gives, and ask him for the same work in my own life. The truth is, it’s really hard to be jealous of someone when you are thanking God for them.

Peter faced this same tendency towards comparison (John 21:18-22). Instead of allowing Peter the indulgence of his sinful comparison to those around him, Jesus turned his statement on its head and told Peter to follow him, essentially saying that Peter’s inquiry about them didn’t matter. The same response is true for us. After thanking God for the evidence of his work in the life of another, we must then look to the giver of grace and follow him alone. A gaze set directly on Christ will not afford us the opportunity to look around and compare because we will be so captivated by the treasure that he alone is for us.

What I need is a reoriented mindset. Comparison and jealous are ruthless masters. They keep us believing that we are never good enough and that someone else always does it better. They probably do, but that’s not the point. The point is that it doesn’t matter. Christ has called us to himself and only asks that we follow him. “Don’t look at the people around you and despair over your life,” he says. “Follow me and me alone.”

We are prone to compare and we will probably fight this temptation until we see Jesus face to face. But until that day, I resolve to fight my own sinful temptation to compare and despair by thanking God for the gifts in the people around me and following Christ alone.

Count Your Blessings in 2012

2012-01-03T10:06:00.002-05:00

“Blessed be the LORD, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me when I was in a besieged city.” –Psalm 31:21

2012 has arrived and many of us have moved from family mode to reflective mode. We are making lists and making goals. We are resolving to exercise more, read more, accomplish a difficult task, or learn a new skill. We are looking back at 2011 and looking forward to 2012. The beginning of a year can feel very hopeful and anticipatory about what is to come. Maybe 2011 wasn’t the year you expected, and you want 2012 to be the turning of a page and start of a new and better chapter of your life.

I can relate. 2010 was a hard year for us. My grandpa died in February of that year and then I miscarried in August. I ended one grief process only to be met with another. And I remember when the clock struck midnight I was relieved that 2010 was over. 2011 was supposed to be the year of hope for us. It was supposed to restore the years (or months) that the locusts had eaten (Joel 2:25). I was excited and ready to move beyond this season of our lives. Less than a month into the new year, Daniel’s grandmother passed away. And then a month later we started seeing a doctor who informed us that our difficulty with getting pregnant again might be related to fertility issues. Where was the hopeful 2011 I had anticipated? It wasn’t even spring yet, and here we were facing similar heartaches at the start of another year.

I wish I could say 2011 ended with a pretty bow and “they lived happily ever after.” While we are happy and enjoying one another, the story hasn’t changed much since the end of 2010. This chapter in our life isn’t over, but I know that my attitude towards it has changed. As I reflected on 2011 last week Psalm 31:21 was the constant theme in my mind. It’s really easy to reflect on our circumstances and only see the gaping, baby-shaped void in our lives. It is there, and that’s just a reality that we are living with. But it’s not what defines us (especially me) anymore. Yes, we are in the besieged city of infertility and loss right now. Yes, our hearts ache a lot. But God has shown up. He has shown us his love and care for us in ways we never would have known if our 2011 had the alternate ending of a smiling baby in our arms.

And that’s what matters more than anything. As I begin 2012, and reflect on 2011, I am reminded of so many evidences of his steadfast love to me—too many to count. It’s easy to forget these things when the thing that I want most right now is missing. But just because I forget them doesn’t mean they aren’t true. God did so many great things for me in 2011, and I know that his kindness to me will continue into 2012, with or without a baby to call my own.

So, here’s to holding on to hope in 2012. God has shown his steadfast love to me, even in a besieged city. Even when my circumstances are unstable, my God will never change.

2011 Year in Review in Pictures

2011-12-30T10:58:00.023-05:00

Pictures capture memories and moments throughout the year that we otherwise might forget. Below is a recap of our wild and crazy (and fun!) year, as seen through pictures.

January 2011- a lot happened this month. Zach and Emily came to visit, we went to NYC on a missions trip, and Daniel's grandma passed away.

(with Daniel's mom after the funeral)

February - the only picture I have from this month is when we went to Chuy's for my birthday. And with good food like this, it deserves a pic on the blog.

March - apparently I took no pictures.

April - another busy month. Daniel was in a wedding and we went to Little Rock to look for a place to live!

May - a bittersweet month. I had my last day of work at Christian Academy, we moved from Louisville to Little Rock, and Daniel graduated from Southern!

June - I think this picture is from June, but we got free chicken for dressing like cows. We were still recovering from the move, so we didn't do a whole lot this month.

July - I was able to go home to Florida for my mom's birthday, so I captured a picture of this sweet little guy! And we went to Dallas and Northwest Arkansas. I only took a picture of us visiting Razorback Stadium, but we traveled a lot in July.

August - again, I have no idea what we did in August. I took no pictures!

September - another big travel month. We went to Branson, Louisville, Ohio (briefly), and I'm sure we went somewhere else, but I just can't remember!

October - took no pictures! Micah came to visit us and I had surgery. No one wants to see pics of me recovering. Trust me.

November - another travel month. We went to San Antonio (hence, the Alamo), celebrated Daniel's 30th birthday and Thanksgiving, and went to Oklahoma City!

December - we went to Florida for Christmas! We met our new niece (precious!) and celebrated with my family. It was such a fun time and we were really sad to come home! This was our 4th Christmas together, so it was fun to take our 4th picture by my parents' tree!

Waiting for the Light

2011-12-29T15:51:00.002-05:00

One of the hardest elements of this past year has been the lingering feelings of darkness and sadness. It is in these moments that it seems that I'm unable to feel anything at all. I know I should be feeling joy in the Lord. I know my only hope is to treasure Christ and cling to him alone. I know I should be talking to myself instead of listening to myself. I know a lot of things in those moments, but the kicker is that I don't feel a lot of things.

We are feeling creatures. God made us with emotions that are meant to be experienced. If he didn't want us to feel things, he would have made us differently. When dark nights of the soul come (and the will come for nearly every Christian), it is hard to feel deeply and favorably about Christ and his word. In order to combat some of these dark seasons, I've been reading When I Don't Desire God (by John Piper) over the last few weeks and have been helped greatly by the biblical and practical nature of the book. I had only been a Christian for less than a year when I first read this book, so it was only fitting that I read it again when I am now in a very different season of life. All of the book is extremely helpful regardless of your circumstances (happy, sad, or in-between), but the last chapter really gave me some helpful tools to utilize when it really seems that the "darkness will not lift."

Piper says (speaking about Psalm 40):

"Then comes the king's cry: 'I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.' One of the reasons God loved David so much was because he cried so much. 'I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping' (Ps. 6:6). 'You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?' (Ps. 56:8). Indeed they are! 'Blessed are those who mourn' (Matt. 5:4). It is a beautiful thing when a broken man genuinely cries out to God."

"Then after the cry you wait. 'I waited patiently for the LORD.' This is crucial to know: Saints who cry to the Lord for deliverance from pits of darkness must learn to wait patiently for the Lord. There is no statement about how long David waited. I have known saints who walked through eight years of debilitating depression and came out into glorious light. Only God knows how long we must wait. We saw this in Micah's experience in Chapter Six. 'I sit in darkness...until [the Lord] pleads my cause and...will bring me out to the light' (see Micah 7:8-9). We can draw no deadlines for God. He hastens or delays as he sees fit. And his timing is all-loving towards his children. Oh, that we might learn to be patient in the hour of darkness. I don't mean that we make peace with darkness. We fight for joy. But we fight as those who are saved by grace and held by Christ. We say with Paul Gerhardt that our night will soon - in God's timing - turn to day."

Throughout the book, Piper says that just because we feel a certain way, or cannot get out of the pit of darkness, it doesn't mean that we allow it to take over and be a controlling force in our lives. The Christian life is war, in darkness and in light. What I found most helpful in the book is the lack of formulaic answers. We can fight for joy and wait a long time for relief to come. But, as Piper says, it is all part of the process God has given us to make us more like him. When we fight for joy with God's word we will get joy. It might be joy through tears, joy through suffering, or joy in extreme brokenness. But it will be joy, because our hope is in the Lord and not what we can see. Lord, give us all the grace we need to wait for your light to come and pierce our dark night.

Silent Christmas: A Poem

2011-12-24T11:15:00.003-05:00

No infant cries to call our own
No tiny presents that fill our home

Just a deafening silence that tells a story
Of what was, is not, and now will not be

We sing the songs that tell of good cheer
And all the while wish you were here

Your mommy and daddy, we miss you so
Yet in our sadness we hope and know

That your Christmas celebration is much greater than this
More joy, more laughter, and endless bliss

For in our Savior's presence you forever will stand
And one day we will meet you in Emmanuel's land

Friday is for Fotos: Christmas with Family

2011-12-23T17:05:00.005-05:00

Hope for the Holidays: You Are Not Forgotten

2011-12-23T00:12:00.002-05:00

For many people the Christmas season is a joyous time filled with family gatherings, way too much (good) food, and an abundance of gifts. But for some, it’s far from the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas is only a reminder of what is missing, or broken, or not right. Christmas only highlights the fact that they feel completely forgotten by God.

It’s easy to make that leap if you are walking through a difficult season of your life. The external circumstances are grim and there seems to be no relief at the end of the dark tunnel you are staring down. If this is your life this Christmas season, you have far more in common with the biblical characters surrounding the Christmas story than you might think. The people who make up the birth account of our Christ are a very unlikely cast of characters. They are an old couple who are burdened with childlessness, a poor teenage virgin with a husband from an obscure town, and the Savior himself—born in a manger, not a much deserved royal palace. Christ’s descent to earth was (and still is) a loud call to all of us that we have not been forgotten.

Zechariah and Elizabeth

Consider this unlikely couple. Every external observation implies that they are long forgotten by God. Luke tells us that while they have asked God for a child for many years, they have now reached old age with no child to call their own. In this culture barrenness meant certain reproach for Elizabeth. She would be viewed by her community as defective and unable to do the very thing she was created to do—bring life into the world. When the women around her experienced pregnancy after pregnancy, Elizabeth was an outsider looking into a world she couldn’t know. Zechariah surely faced tremendous pressure also as he cared for his wife, grieved his own loss of having no heir, and fulfilled his God-given duties as priest. While many would give into the temptation to sin by taking the matter into their own hands, or turning from the God who made them, we are given a small glimpse into Zechariah and Elizabeth’s response to their lifelong infertility. They were righteous. They entrusted themselves to a faithful God, believing in his promises to them, and trusting that he would work good in their lives. They hoped in him alone and believed that he was not finished with them yet.

And he wasn’t.

We know from the rest of the story that God answers their prayer for a child, and not just any child, but the child who would be the promised forerunner to the Messiah. This old couple who waited years for God to answer their longing for a child, now have one who plays a pivotal role in the greatest story of history—the story of Jesus.

Mary and Joseph

By the time the angel appeared to Mary, and ultimately Joseph, the people of Israel had experienced over 400 years of silence from God. Many Jewish people died having never witnessed any revelation, prophetic voice, or tangible act from God. And that took its toll on God’s people. Many Israelites turned away, determining that God’s promises could not really be true. Mary and Joseph, who Luke tells us are righteous people, represent the faithful few. They are the ones who held on to the Old Testament promises even when it seemed like God would never act. It was through this seemingly insignificant girl that the Savior would come into the world. In a cave filled with animals, in a small town far away from home, she would give birth to the Messiah with her loyal husband by her side. No one would have expected it from them.

And that is how God works. He takes the forgotten, the outcast, the insignificant and shows them his kindness and greatness by glorifying himself through them, sometimes in some of the most surprising ways.

Christ the Savior

But no one shows that we are not forgotten more than the Savior himself. Isaiah 53 says:

“He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are healed.”

He was momentarily forgotten, afflicted, and separated from God the Father so you would never have to be. That holy night in Bethlehem was moving towards this very reality. Christmas is the precursor to Easter. The incarnation proves that God keeps his promises, and the atonement on the cross seals that promise for good, making us God’s own children. It proves that you are not forgotten because God can never forget his own.

The wonder of Christmas is that we weren’t forgotten. And he showed up in the lives of people who the world viewed as forgotten and of little worth. God became man to rescue us from our sin and bring us into fellowship with himself. He made himself nothing, identifying with lowly and despised people to show that no one is forgotten regardless of their circumstances. You are not forgotten this Christmas, or anytime of the year. The manger where this little baby lay all those years ago is proof of that.

Rest is Not My Savior

2011-12-20T12:46:00.001-05:00

The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas can be an extremely busy time for most people. Between the rush to buy the perfect gifts for family and friends and the seemingly endless parties and family gatherings, we can easily burnout before mid-December. As I’ve gotten older I’ve started to realize that the holiday season just seems to get busier and busier. And sometimes I just don’t like all of the busyness.

In college, I would rush to buy all of my presents after finishing finals sometimes a week before Christmas. I would think to myself, “when I’m done with college, I will have more time to enjoy the holiday season.” When I was single and working full-time, sometimes I was too exhausted at the end of the day to even think about Christmas cheer. I would think to myself, “when I get married and have a husband, I will be more settled and able to anticipate Christmas.” Then I got married—to a seminary student. Every December meant studying and final exams. Every Christmas break meant prep for the next semester or J-term class. Again, I would think to myself, “when he graduates and we live a normal life, then I will be able to prepare my heart for Christmas and enjoy this season.”

And now here we are. Christmas is merely an example of the many other times I tell myself some variation of the “when _____ happens, then I can rest and enjoy the season.” Well, I’ve learned something really profound in these last six months. It won’t happen. It’s not that I can’t experience rest, or a more streamlined schedule, or even a lighter schedule. Those are all manageable and attainable goals. And of course there are instances where I need to take a hard look at my schedule and see if I’m being a poor steward of my time. But sometimes no amount of rearranging will change the subtle discontent in my heart regarding my desire for more time. More than anything I have needed to learn that my constant looking forward with longing eyes only reveals a heart that is simply not able to rest in what God has given me right now. Over time I’ve seen rest and a lighter schedule as my savior and means of contentment.

Daniel has often reminded me of a very important truth regarding my “if only” statements. Those things are not my savior. Only Jesus is my savior. Only he can provide me the rest and contentment I yearn for even in the midst of an overwhelming schedule. When I fail to recognize this simple yet crucial truth, I separate rest from the giver of rest, and thus make my desire for rest idolatry.

So as I finish up my final preparations for Christmas I don’t want to be ruled by my sinful desire and grasping for a season that is not mine. I want to find rest in Christ even when my mind is scattered and fuzzy, and my to-do list is longer than I would like. Only he can give us true and lasting rest, in the busy times and the quiet times.

Friday is for Fotos: Oklahoma City

2011-12-16T11:21:00.009-05:00

A couple of weeks ago Daniel and I went to Oklahoma City for his job, and while we were there we visited the memorial site where the Oklahoma City bombing happened. It was a very well done memorial, but it was sobering to walk through the place where 168 Americans were tragically killed. I remember exactly what I was doing when the news broke that the bombing had taken place. I was home sick from school that day, and I remember watching the coverage with my mom and being scared and overwhelmed by the magnitude of it all. As a 12 year old it was really frightening, especially knowing that 19 children were killed as well.

The chairs were the most moving part to us. Each chair represents a person who was killed, with the smaller ones representing the children killed. Below are some of the pictures that we took from our visit.

He Made Himself Nothing

2011-12-15T14:56:00.004-05:00

The following post includes excerpts taken from Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus: Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas (edited by Nancy Guthrie)

"The Holy Spirit wants us to understand where Christ came from. Paul tells us in Philippians 2:5-7, 'Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.'
Coming in the very form or nature of God, Jesus didn't consider equality with God something to be grasped. In other words, instead of holding on to his own uninterrupted glory, he chose to set it aside..."

"If you look again at Philippians 2:7, you notice that there is a comma after 'nothing,' and then you have a verb in the present continuous: he 'made himself nothing, taking...' There is a link here between nothing and taking.

Alec Mattea, a wonderful scholar and friend of mine, suggests that if we ask, what did he empty himself into? rather than, of what did he empty himself? we will be closer to coming to grips with it. It's a fantastic paradox. It's what the Lord Jesus took to himself that humbled him, not what he laid aside. He emptied himself, 'taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.' It was in taking to himself humanity that he became nothing. Of course, for those of us who think that man is the apex of it all, we can't imagine anyone who wouldn't be absolutely excited to be a man. But if you were God? Imagine. To be God and come down a birth canal, to be laid in a manger, to live as an outcast, to die as a stranger, to bear the abuse and curse of the law - it sounds like 'nothing' to me..."

"Jesus did not approach the incarnation asking, 'What's in it for me, what do I get out of it?'" In coming to earth he said, 'I don't matter."

Jesus, you're going to be laid in a manger.

'It doesn't matter.'

Jesus, you will have nowhere to lay your head.

"It doesn't matter"

Jesus, you will be an outcast and a stranger.

"It doesn't matter."

Jesus, they will nail you to a cross and your followers will all desert you.

And Jesus says, "That's okay."

This is what it means. He "made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men."

-Alistair Begg

The Fullness of God

2011-12-14T18:56:00.001-05:00

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”—Colossians 1:15-20

This passage has been rocking me lately, especially verse 19: “for in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell.” So many of our Christmas celebrations include verses from the Gospels, and they should. We sing the usual songs, read the familiar narratives, but often miss that Christmas is not only a happy story, but a deeply theological one as well.

It wasn’t until a few years ago that this awesome reality really hit me. Growing up in a Christian home, the meaning of Christmas was not far from all of our festivities. But it was only when I thought hard about the incarnation that Christmas was launched to a whole other level in my mind. Christmas is about God coming to earth and taking the form of man. God who is the creator of the universe, became flesh, and walked this earth. Christmas is about the fulfillment of everything God promised to us and those who lived before us. Can you imagine what those who actually understood what was happening felt when they saw this promised Messiah in the flesh? All they could do was worship.

As the days leading up to Christmas become fewer and fewer, I want the wonder of the incarnation to stir my heart to worship King Jesus. That God would leave his throne and dwell among a sinful people is amazing enough. But that he would come to willingly die to rescue us from sin is even more amazing. I want this to be the focus of my heart this Christmas—treasuring the Christ who saved me and made me his own.

Hope for the Holidays: Advent and Waiting

2011-12-12T19:31:00.002-05:00

Christmas is an exciting and joyous time. There is so much joy brought into our lives this time of year—parties, family, lights, decorations, and even shopping for presents. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, isn’t it? Absolutely.

But Christmas is also about longing, waiting, and hoping. The weeks leading up to Christmas tell a story of expectancy. For the culture around us, many are anxiously waiting to open presents or visit Santa Claus. As Christians, we are waiting for a great celebration—the birth of our Savior.

Weaved throughout the Bible is this common theme of waiting. It is present in the individual stories of the Patriarchs and in the corporate stories of the Israelites and their hope for a Messiah. In the New Testament, the waiting looks a little different. Messiah has come, but it’s not the end of story.
We are still in a period of waiting for his return, for his second coming. Advent is an already, but not yet. Our anticipation for his return is not unlike the anticipation many Jewish people felt as they waited, and waited, and waited, for Christ to come. And our longing for final restoration joins us with the righteous Jewish men and women from long ago.

While we are waiting corporately for the return of our Lord, we are also often in seasons of waiting in our own life. Whether big or small, waiting is difficult and often very painful at times. The story of Christmas provides us with wonderful reminders and examples of what it means to wait with biblical expectancy.

As I’ve thought about how the Scriptures define waiting well, two different types of waiting come to mind:

-Bitter and indifferent
-Expectant and hopeful

The Israelites as a whole fell into the first camp. John 1:9-11 says: “The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.”

Years of hardening their hearts and following false gods blinded their eyes to see that who they were longing for had come. Some simply didn’t care. This bitterness and indifference, fueled by despair and giving up after years of waiting, led them to miss Christ’s first coming. It began with many years of mistrust of God’s good plan for them, led to indifference when his plan was fulfilled, and ultimately led them to kill the One promised to them. They did not wait well.

The expectant and hopeful were fewer in number, but given special attention in the Bible. They were Simeon, Mary, Joseph, Zechariah, Elizabeth, and Anna—all people who were longing for the Messiah’s birth, but did not give in to the temptation to fall away and serve the gods of this world. They held on to hope, trusting that God always does what he says he will do.

It’s much easier to fall into the first camp of bitterness and indifference. When you spend your entire lifetime waiting for God to fulfill his promises and still don’t see them met, the world around you seems a lot more promising. In long seasons of waiting the temptations to sin are great. The Jewish people had grown so cold and bitter towards God that they missed his ultimate work in the sending of his son.

Lest we too miss Christ’s work, we must wait well. Waiting well sometimes mean going your entire life without seeing the fulfillment of his promises for you this side of eternity, but you trust him anyway. Waiting well means holding on and trusting even when his promises aren’t met until you are advanced in years (like Zechariah and Elizabeth), yet you believe in his good and perfect plan anyway. Waiting well means trusting God’s purposes even when your life and reputation are in jeopardy (like Mary and Joseph). It’s hard to wait well. It’s costly to wait well. But it’s essential to wait well. Waiting well means we get to see Jesus in all of his glory. Waiting poorly means we miss him, at great cost to our souls.

Regardless of where you are in the waiting process this Advent season, know that you are not alone. You are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, many who did not see in their lifetime the fulfillment of the promise we now have, yet the hoped in the God who is faithful and true.
How do you wait well this Christmas season? Consider God’s word to us from Lamentations 3:22-27

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul,
‘therefore I will hope in him.’
The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.”

It is good to wait on the Lord and trust in him alone. Waiting well means trusting in the One who knows the end of our waiting. He will always be faithful.

The Victoria Secret Fashion Show and Christians

2011-12-08T22:37:00.002-05:00

I’ve never seen the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, and I don’t intend to start making it a yearly ritual. But my choice is irrelevant considering millions tuned in last week to watch the annual show boasting big name entertainment and barely clothed models. Some find it repulsive and demeaning to women. But mostly, the wider culture embraces the message and gladly joins in on this party.

So why am I writing about this? The Victoria Secret Fashion Show has very little do with Christian women, right? Yes and no. While it might seem like the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is tailor-made to appeal to the interests of men, I’m surprised (and discouraged) to not only see that there are women who like it, but Christian women. And that is a troubling trend.

The issue with it isn’t so much lingerie and underwear. Nearly every major department store sells those. The issue isn’t even really about Victoria Secret as a store, even though their marketing demographic seems to be getting younger and younger. Victoria Secret makes their money selling sexy. Every ad, every fashion show, and every picture displaying their apparel promises one thing to the woman (or man) looking to purchase—buy their stuff and you won’t just feel sexy, you will be sexy. There is no problem in feeling sexy, if you are married and if the person you want to feel sexy for is your husband. But if you are 15—or even 20—and not married the last thing you should feel right now is sexy.

So, no, the problem with the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is not necessarily the lingerie. It’s that they have taken something that God intended to be private and made it into a marketing and entertainment masterpiece—and we have believed their lies along the way.

For the Christian woman who chooses to watch the Victoria Secret Fashion Show it might not seem like that big of a deal. If you are single, you might like their product and want to see new apparel, or you might just like the entertainment aspect of it. Or even more dangerous, you might secretly like the way the show makes you feel—like a woman who can be just as sexy as the models on the screen. If you are married, you might watch because you want ideas of what to buy, or you might like the way it makes you feel as well. You might secretly wish you could be as uninhibited as those models, or wish that you were gawked at by millions of men and women who praise your body. Just because you are a woman, does not mean that watching other women parade around in their underwear is a normal or acceptable practice. We must be careful to guard our hearts and our minds from not just images, but also messages that tell lies about God’s created design for us.

When we don’t, we buy into the ambient culture’s message that sex and sexuality is for public consumption, not the privacy of the marital bedroom. Even if you are married, you have no business joining in the party that makes sex entertainment. The message of the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is that anyone can be sexy enough to be lusted after, if you just buy their products.

So if you are tempted to tune in every year to watch the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, or things like it. Or if you just think it’s harmless, think again. The message that a woman’s body is for everyone to look at is not a harmless message. It’s a deadly one. And as Christian women, our hearts should grieve that our culture has adopted such a perilous philosophy on sexuality, rather than revel in it and join the party.

Another Resource: A Poem for Christmas

2011-12-06T19:47:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite things about being at Bethlehem Baptist Church was when Pastor John would read an Advent poem every Sunday leading up to Christmas. While I never heard this one live, last Christmas The Innkeeper really ministered to me in moments when I felt so sad over our loss. You can hear him read the entire poem on Desiring God's website, but here is a little taste of the richness of his words.

I am the boy
That Herod wanted to destroy.
You gave my parents room to give
Me life, and then God let me live,
And took your wife.
Ask me not why
The one should live, another die.
God's ways are high, and you will know
In time. But I have come to show
You what the Lord prepared the night
You made a place for heaven's light.
In two weeks they will crucify
My flesh. But mark this, Jacob, I
Will rise in three days from the dead,
And place my foot upon the head
Of him who has the power of death,
And I will raise with life and breath
Your wife and Ben and Joseph too
And give them, Jacob, back to you
With everything the world can store,
And you will reign for evermore."

This is the gift of candle three:

A Christ with tears in tragedy
And life for all eternity.

Hope for the Holidays: Encouraging Resources

2011-12-05T18:12:00.003-05:00

Last Christmas I really struggled to find joy in the midst of losing our baby. We were only a few months out from our miscarriage and at times it just felt like God had forgotten us. Last Christmas I thought for sure I would be pregnant (or have a new baby) by this Christmas. And here we are again, our empty arms still aching. Our story is not unlike so many stories out there. There are a lot couples, like us, who are facing Christmas longing for their family to be enlarged, or grieving the loss of the child they hoped for. It's painful. It's lonely. And at times it feels like you would much rather curl up in a ball and forget the whole Christmas thing. It's hard to feel joyful when you feel so joyless.

One of the ways I have fought the temptation to forget the joy of Christmas is by reminding myself (through helpful resources) what Christmas is all about. It's really easy in this season to walk through Target, or watch a peppy Christmas special, and just go crazy from all of the sugary happiness. But Christmas isn't about all of those things (though I do enjoy them). It's about a deep longing that is fulfilled by a little baby born in Bethlehem many years ago. And I need to remind myself of that on a daily basis, in good times and in bad. I have more thoughts on that for another post, but here are some resources that have served me these last couple of weeks as I've walked through Thanksgiving, and now Christmas.

Hope in the God Who is Not Done, Pastor Sam Crabtree's first Advent Message at Bethlehem Baptist Church. I cried through most of this message. It was exactly what I needed to hear that day.

Joy to This Cursed World by Nancy Guthrie. I love everything she writes. It is always so biblical, compassionate, and honest. As I read this article I seriously felt like she was putting to paper everything that had been swirling around in my head.

This next link is not a shameless plug, but all of the sermons for our church are now online. The Sunday before Thanksgiving (November 20), my husband preached a message that wasn't necessarily about suffering, but in it he talked about what rejoicing always, and giving thanks in all circumstances, looks like. It was really helpful to me, especially leading into Thanksgiving and Christmas. And on October 2, our other pastor (Jeff Breeding) preached a sermon called "Faith in the Face of Suffering." Because I was in the nursery that day, I just listened to it last week. It encouraged me greatly, and if you are facing suffering right now I promise it will bless you as well.

We will always be learning what it means to suffer in a way that honors God. Satan wants nothing more than for us to "curse God and die" when everything around us is caving in. He wants us to forget everything and give up. And it's tempting sometimes. But one of the ways we fight that temptation is by filling our minds with the truth. We fight by remembering. I'm sure there are many more helpful resources out there that can serve a sorrowful or discouraged Christian this Christmas season, so these are just a few. But I pray that if you are fainthearted these resources will serve to strengthen your spirit even when the darkness around you seems too much to bear. God has not forgotten you. The manger is proof of that.

Happy 30th Birthday, Daniel!

2011-11-23T11:48:00.004-05:00

Today, my dear husband turns 30. I've been saying it over and over again, partly because I can't believe it. He is 30, which means in a little over a year I will be 30. He is out of his twenties and has moved into a new decade. But really, it's just a number. He feels the same way he did yesterday. So on this day, his 30th birthday, I want to honor him with 30 reasons I love him with all of my heart. Every year I love him more and more. I love seeing God grow him as a pastor, husband, friend, son, and Christian. He is a blessing to me in more ways than I can even count. So here are just some of the ways I am thankful for him today, but know that these don't even scratch the surface. I am one blessed woman!

Daniel, here are a few of the many ways I'm thankful to God for you.

You are committed to studying God’s word and rightly handling his truth.

You love people and want to see them grow in their knowledge of Christ.

You love God’s word and believe that it is true and powerful.

You are sensitive to the needs of others and are quick to show compassion.

You take your responsibility as a pastor seriously, and you show that seriousness by your faithfulness in preparing to preach God’s word and your devotion to prayer.

You are hospitable.

You love me and are my best friend.

You model Christ’s love for the Church by faithfully providing for us and protecting me with joy.

You are the hardest worker I know.

You are honest.

You are quick to ask questions and get to know people.

You are a good listener.

You are smart.

You manage our finances in a way that protects us.

You are willing to do things you don’t enjoy in order to serve God’s people and your family.

You are quick to forgive.

You are not afraid to admit that you are wrong.

You are creative when it comes to giving gifts, and like to give people things that really mean something to them.

You are funny.

You care about lost people.

You love the nations and are willing to give of yourself in order to see them trust in Christ.

You love children.

You are loyal.

You are my greatest supporter and encourager.

You are servant-hearted.

You are gentle and not quick to be angry.

You are affectionate.

You enjoy being active.

You still like to date me.

After Christ, you are my greatest joy. There is no one else I would rather be with, cry with, love, and walk through this crazy life with.

Happy birthday, my love. I’m so thankful to God for you.

The Heart of Thankfulness

2011-11-21T10:04:00.002-05:00

As we begin Thanksgiving week it’s easy to get lost in the busyness of visiting family, preparing meals, watching football, and maintaining traditions. And while we should be cultivating thankfulness all year, Thanksgiving affords a unique opportunity to focus on the many reasons we have to be thankful. The Bible is not void of discussion on thankfulness either, especially in the Psalms. When the Psalms express thankfulness, it always directed to God and his gracious work for his people. As Christians, we should take our cues from the Psalmist not only on Thanksgiving, but every day as well. Sure, we can be thankful for material possessions, family members, and other earthly things. But when we express our appreciation for these things, it must always be directed towards the Giver, the God who gives us every earthly blessing, but also an abundance of heavenly blessings.

Psalm 103 is a beautiful expression of overflowing thankfulness to God. In verse 1, David says: “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name.” Every fiber of David’s being is pouring out blessing, praise, and honor to God. He is celebrating God’s goodness towards his people. But he doesn’t end there. He goes on to explain in greater detail what this goodness looks like. In verse 2, David urges himself (and us) to “forget not all his benefits.” He is telling us to call to mind what God has done for us. In essence, he is saying to remember so you can see how he has worked for you. It’s hard to praise the Lord when you can’t remember what he has done for you. So remember. Call to mind the great things he has worked on your behalf. I imagine it will elicit the same joyous praise that David exhibits here. Thankfully, he expounds on these benefits. And while this is David talking, these benefits apply to us as well. The following verses show us five ways that God’s benefits are made manifest in our lives:

He forgives all of your iniquity (verse 3a). This is the foundation of our praise. All other benefits mean nothing if our sins are not forgiven. At the cross, our greatest problem was dealt with by God himself. This alone gives us reason to celebrate and be thankful for the rest of our lives. Our sins have been forgiven.

He heals all of our diseases (verse 3b). God is the great healer. Modern medicine is an amazing gift to us, but God ultimately heals us of our illnesses. Some of you today might wonder when you will be healed. Maybe you have faced illness your entire life and there is no hope for a cure. This verse doesn’t seem to apply to you. Oh, but it does. Even if you do not face healing in this life, there is a great healing coming for you. The body you have right now won’t be this way forever. One day you will have a new body that is free of disease and decay. Hold on for that final day, and trust in the God who will one day finally heal all of your disease.

He redeems our life from the pit (verse 4a). Before God saved us, we were living in a pit of sin, despair, and hopelessness. We had no way of escape. But God, in his great mercy, redeemed us from that pit. Not only does he forgive our sins, but he takes us out of that sinful life and redeems us. He makes us new creations by the atoning work of Jesus.

He crowns us with steadfast love and mercy (verse 4b). A crown is given to royalty. When we are forgiven and redeemed we are brought into the royal family of God, and given the benefits of being his children. This is the application of his healing, saving, forgiving, and atoning work—we get never-ending, always faithful, mercy and love from our heavenly Father. The benefits just keep coming!

He satisfies us with good, renewing our youth like the eagle’s (verse 5). All of the benefits mentioned in the previous verses are good things that satisfy our souls. He satisfies us with an abundance of good, namely the goodness of himself. He is the ultimate source of good and he is the only good one. This goodness towards us renews us and gives us new life. I squandered my youth, and this verse, like the ones preceding it, reminds me that God is a forgiving and redeeming God. He redeems our youthful wanderings and gives us new vigor to serve him and honor him all of our days.

The rest of the Psalm is a further exposition of his goodness towards us. These verses are rich with evidences of his work on our behalf, and give us many more reasons to be thankful this holiday season. In verse 10, David reminds us that God does not deal with us according to our sins, or repay us evil for evil. His dealing with us is only good and merciful, even though we deserve only condemnation and wrath. And again in verses 11-12 we see that not only does he give us mercy, but he removes our sin from us and looks compassionately on us.

All of these great realities about God’s work on our behalf culminate in a final word of praise and thanksgiving for all that he has done. In verses 20-22 David says that all of heaven and earth will sing his praises because of the good things that he has done. The heavens and the earth cannot be silent about God’s wonderful interactions with us, nor should we. If we are in Christ we have much to be thankful for this Thursday, and every day. God has removed the stain of sin, given us the righteousness of Christ, and promised us a great future with him. Let us join the everlasting song and praise his name forever. He has done great things for us.

Friday is for Food: Butternut Squash Soup

2011-11-18T17:46:00.004-05:00

I wasn't sure I would be able to get away with making this one. When I told Daniel about it, he didn't think it sounded very appetizing. Thankfully, he is willing to try new things. I read a few food blogs, and one of them is Pink Parsley. She always has really tasty sounding recipes and I've always enjoyed the ones I've made from her website. This recipe for Curried Butternut Squash Soup was no different. It was SO YUMMY! Daniel even liked it! It was smooth, warm, and even a little spicy. The flavors were all really good together.

So here is the recipe! Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Curried Butternut Squash Soup
adapted from The Pastry Queen, by Rebecca Rather
Serves 4 to 6

2 Tbs unsalted butter or olive oil
1/2 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and sliced
1 1/2 lbs butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cubed
1 medium russet potato, peeled and cubed
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 1/2 Tbs curry powder
1/4 tsp nutmeg
pinch cayenne
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup milk (low fat or fat-free is fine)
1/2 cup heavy cream (optional) --I used the heavy cream
1 tsp honey
1/2 tsp paprika
Freshly ground black pepper
Sour cream or Greek yogurt, for garnish (I didn't use this, but I'm sure it would be really good!)

Melt the butter in a large saucepan or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the onion and carrot and saute over medium heat for about 3 minutes, or until the onions begin to soften. Add the squash potato, ginger, cinnamon, curry powder, nutmeg, cayenne, and salt. Saute for 2 minutes. Add the stock, milk, cream, honey, and paprika and bring the soup to a boil. Decrease the heat, cover the pot, and simmer the soup over low heat for about 45 minutes, or until the vegetables are soft.

*** Working in batches, puree the soup in a blender or food processor until smooth. Add black pepper to taste. If the soup seems too thick, add more milk or chicken stock. Serve hot with a dollop of sour cream or Greek yogurt on top. (I accidentally omitted this section because my printer didn't print it. It ended up tasting fine without blending it. Even though it was a little chunky, the vegetables were really soft.)

I made some homemade bread and it complemented it nicely.

So You Want to Go Back to Egypt?

2011-11-17T20:35:00.003-05:00

Being raised in a Christian home meant that I grew up listening to a variety of Christian music, like Keith Green. Even though his life was tragically cut short, he wrote many songs that are still sung in churches today. One song, though not necessarily your typical praise chorus, came to mind this week as I read Numbers 14. “So You Want to Go Back to Egypt” is a lighthearted song about the serious sin of the Israelites as they wandered in the desert. In some ways it highlights how ridiculous and foolish it is to doubt God’s promises to us. Often our sin seems most hideous when we put it into the light, like this song does. And it’s a good reminder that we can fall into the same trap of complaining against what God has done for us.

In Numbers 14 the Israelites grumble and complain against Moses, and ultimately God, because their time in the wilderness is not what they thought it would be. God had promised them land, prosperity, and rest, and all they were experiencing was wandering and daily rations of manna. Where was this land flowing with milk and honey? Where was the promised prosperity? They were tired of living in tents, moving from place to place, and being led by a cloud. And they were certainly tired of following Moses, who somehow continued to lead them into more wilderness wanderings. To make matters seem worse, the land their spies scoped out in Numbers 13 was full of men much larger and stronger than they were. Surely there was some mistake. It all seemed so insurmountable, and very far from what they felt they deserved. The circumstances around them seemed to grow bigger and bigger, and God’s promises started to seem smaller and smaller. So they grumbled and looked longingly back at Egypt—the land of their slavery.

Their story has been convicting me greatly in recent days. I see myself in so much of the grumbling and bitterness that permeates these chapters. I have grumbled against God because of my circumstances. I have questioned his purposes for me and doubted his promises. I have ignored the clear evidences of his provision for me, focusing only on the one thing he was chosen not to give me right now. I, like the Israelites, look at my circumstances and think that anything is better than here. So what is the link between this ancient near eastern people and me?

Entitlement.

Because God has chosen me and made me his child, I assume that he should give me what I want. Because God has promised rest and comfort to his children, I assume (like the Israelites) that anything outside of that is less than what I deserve. Maybe I don’t blatantly say it, but in my heart and thoughts I believe it. And this feeling of entitlement finds its home and foundation in the sinful attitude of pride. The Israelites were prideful. They believed that God owed them something because they were his chosen people. But they believed it to their great peril.

The story doesn’t end with their grumbling. Numbers 14:28-38 shows us that it is serious to doubt God’s promises. Not only were they not allowed to enter the Promised Land, proving that they were never really saved, but those who brought a bad report about the land were destroyed immediately. Thankfully, God has not struck me down in the moment of my doubting. But it’s a warning to us all. We cannot take lightly the truth of God’s promises. He is a gracious, merciful, and loving God who promises good things to us. But he is also a jealous God, who does not want us to bring dishonor to him by telling a false story to the world about his goodness. When I act in unbelief I’m telling a lie about who God is.

There is hope for us though. Because we are in Christ, we have an advocate before the Father—Jesus Christ. His righteous atonement for our sin of unbelief (and every other sin) makes a way for us to turn from this sin and no longer live in bitterness and anger towards the God who saved us. This is good news for anyone struggling with unbelief. Yes, it is a serious sin. Yes, it grieves God and makes him (rightly) angry. Yes, we deserve eternal punishment for this sin, just like the Israelites. But God, in his great kindness, extended his scepter of mercy to sinners like us, through the powerful work of Christ on the Cross.

If you are struggling with unbelief today, you have a way of escape. Don’t be like the Israelites, who refused to look to the promises of God. Even if you are faced with a long wilderness journey right now, don't be fooled by the seemingly appealing memories of your life in bondage to sin. Look to the Promised One—Jesus. He is our only hope for rest in this life and in the one to come.

I'm Not What I Once Was

2011-11-14T21:35:00.002-05:00

For a long time after my conversion I avoided memories of my former life at all costs. I wanted a fresh start. I wanted a new life, with new memories that didn’t even come close to resembling the Christ-less ones I reveled in before God saved me. I battled guilt, shame, and fear that my past would come back to haunt me. At first, it was a really good thing for me to be far away from my former life. I needed a change of scenery and freedom from the temptation to fall back into sin. And the farther removed I was from the debauched life I once lived, the less that life defined me.

Last week we drove through the city I lived in when God saved me. For the most part it only holds bad memories, memories I would much rather forget and pretend never happened. As we passed the familiar signs pointing to a life that now seems so distant, I was reminded of the importance of memory. Now with many years removed, and a host of good memories made since then, I have a different perspective on it all. For so long I’ve wanted to run from that life, but as I’ve gotten older I have learned that if I run I can’t remember.

Remembering is an important component of the Christian life. We remember the Cross and the great salvation attained for us there. We remember good days and milestones. We remember when God saved us and how it changed us completely. We remember words to songs that moved us and helped us grasp the beauty of Christ. But in this fallen world we also remember the bad. We are flooded with memories of how we have failed to live up to God’s standards, memories of the sin that separated us from God and threatened to undo us.

It took me a long time to know what to do with the bad memories. All I felt was guilt and shame whenever I thought back to my life before Christ. Maybe you feel that way too. Often when we think of our sin we feel crushed by the sheer magnitude of it. It disgusts us. But there is good news for us. If we are in Christ, that sin no longer defines us. It has been paid for. Romans 8:1 says: “for there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” That’s us! Satan wants nothing more than for us to believe the lies that our sins tells us—that we can never amount to more than the feelings of wretchedness. He also wants us to fail to remember, because when we forget what we were saved from we so easily forget how great Christ’s work on our behalf is.

It’s been a long process for me. For nearly eight years I couldn’t even imagine going near the places I used to live. It killed me inside knowing what my sin did to my family and my Savior. It also made me fearful, thinking that I would fall back into the same sinful patterns. But by God’s grace, last week I drove through that city, with my husband, and I was thankful. Thankful that God, in his great mercy, plucked me from my sinful state and made me his child. Thankful that my sin has been paid for and I no longer live condemned before the Father. Thankful that Christ’s righteousness is now my righteousness. Eight years ago I never would have imagined this for my life. But I am so very thankful that God takes sinful people, like you and me, cleanses us by the blood of his son, and makes us his own.

If you are feeling guilty over your sin today, or feeling like you can’t face the life you once lived, hear these words from the song, Before The Throne of God Above:

“When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see him there, who made an end to all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free; for God, the just, is satisfied, to look on him and pardon me.”

This is our story, dear Christians. Regardless of the sins you have committed, if you are in Christ, they are paid for by the Savior. You can face whatever past you may have with the hope that Jesus has changed you and made you a new creation, and your life can, and will, be a testimony to the amazing power of the cross for sinners like you and me.

Friday is for Fotos (on Saturday!)

2011-11-12T20:47:00.007-05:00

Daniel and I just got back from spending most of the week in San Antonio, Texas (with some other stops along the way). One of the blessings of Daniel's job is that he has the opportunity to go to cool places, like Texas! Growing up I loved learning about the Alamo and always appreciate the chance to go there. We actually went on Veterans Day, so it was extra special seeing servicemen walking around as we toured the place. Besides the fact that I had a cold (again), the trip was pretty enjoyable! We ate lots of Mexican food, which always makes me happy. And I was able to show Daniel another part of Texas (and another area of where I used to live). Even though it was a fun trip, we are so glad to be home. Even the nicest hotel bed doesn't feel as amazing as our own, seriously.

When Life Begins

2011-11-08T21:32:00.002-05:00

Many eyes were on Mississippi today as they ventured out to cast their vote in the important “personhood legislation” known as Initiative 26, stating that personhood begins when an egg is fertilized by a sperm. It is a polarizing piece of legislation that has led to harsh rhetoric from a variety of angles. I have not followed this story very closely, but one article that I read today enraged and saddened me.

Arthur Caplan is the director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania. He wrote an opinion piece posted on msnbc.com regarding the implications of this amendment. He states:

“Fertilized eggs could be granted human rights, depending on how Mississippi voters cast their ballots Tuesday on Initiative 26. The ballot measure, otherwise known as the "personhood" amendment, proposes to amend the state's constitution to redefine "person" to include "every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof." Among other things, it could mean that couples who have turned to fertility clinics for help becoming parents won’t be allowed to ever destroy their unused fertilized eggs.”

And this, he says, is in direct opposition to science—namely what we know about the conception process. Fertilized eggs cannot be considered human beings, in his opinion, because science does not allow for it. Science, he says, only calls a fertilized egg an embryo when it implants successfully in the uterus. And even then it’s not a baby yet.

What’s even more troubling about his conclusions is the fact that he brings miscarriage, stillbirth, and fetal death into his argument. He asserts that because nearly half of all pregnancies do not result in a living, breathing baby, those “fertilized eggs” were never really human after all. Using disappointed parents as his example, he says:

“Sadly, all too many couples know about the high rate of spontaneous abortion and stillbirth that haunts embryonic and fetal development. Roughly, one in six embryos will spontaneously abort or produce fetuses that do not develop properly and die in utero.”

Perhaps the most saddening statement of all, he further adds:

“Medicine and science know very well what many millions of heart-broken would be parents around the world know first-hand: To call all embryos “persons” flies in the face of spontaneous abortion, stillbirth and fetal death.”

What? How does calling a miscarried or stillborn baby “fly in the face” of this death? As a mother who has lost a child through miscarriage, I resent the sentiment that my loss proves to me (and the scientific community) that the baby I was carrying was actually nothing more than an ill-formed, fertilized egg. And I don’t know any woman who has experienced pregnancy loss who has felt what Mr. Caplan seems to think is the norm.

The problem with his views, and the views of many who dismiss pregnancy loss as a product of nature running its course, is that their views are informed by cold scientific theories rather than God’s word.

Psalm 139:3-4 and Jeremiah 1:5 were a great source of comfort to me in the days following our loss. God’s word taught me that our baby, even though he was still in the early stages of development, was known and loved by the God who created him. These verses, and the entire Bible, speak to the reality that so many mothers know to be true—life matters to God.

If we don’t define personhood from the beginning (at fertilization) then when does it begin? When there is a heartbeat? When the baby starts moving? When a woman sees those wonderful blue lines confirming pregnancy, she doesn’t tell her family and friends that she is carrying a fertilized egg (though according to Mr. Caplan that is the scientific name for it). She announces that she is pregnant with a baby, not a blob of tissue waiting to be developed into a person. When she finds out the gender of her baby, even though the baby cannot live outside of the womb, she names him or her. To her, this baby is loved, cared for, and wanted.

What Mr. Caplan fails to realize in his piece is that for the parents who lose children at various stages of pregnancy the loss is felt acutely—and often stays with them for a lifetime. My baby was not a fertilized egg that failed to develop, Mr. Caplan. My baby was a life, known by God and loved by his parents. He was a person at the moment of conception.

A Good Warning

2011-11-07T20:48:00.001-05:00

“Take care brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.”—Hebrews 3:12

The writer of Hebrews wrote this verse after spending much of the first two chapters unpacking who Jesus is and how great a salvation he secured for us. But woven throughout this beautiful display of our Christ are repeated warnings to guard the faith given to us by this Jesus (Heb. 2:1-3, Heb. 3:12-13). No matter how glorious the description of Christ set before us, we are still prone to wander from the One who bought us by his own blood. Perhaps your circumstances in life are not what you had hoped they would be. Maybe you are unemployed and unable to find work. Maybe you are facing infertility, like me. Maybe your career aspirations are put on hold, or greatly diminished, because of your financial situation. Maybe you want to be married and God has not provided a spouse for you. All of these situations are hard and can take the wind out of our sails. They can cause varying degrees of pain, often for a long time. But another unwanted impact of suffering is that our hearts are more easily swayed towards unbelief. It’s when we cannot see the outcome, or when the dark clouds will not lift, that we can fall into the trap of believing that God is not really working for us. Satan wants nothing more than for us to believe the lie that God’s promises are not true for us. He wants us to discount all of Hebrews 1-2 (and the rest of the Bible), turn towards unbelief, and ultimately turn away from God. The writer of Hebrews knows this, too.

So what if we see an unbelieving heart creeping up into our own lives, or even in the lives of our friends? Verse 13 tells us to exhort one another so that no one is hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. The problem with an unbelieving heart is that often no one can see it. It’s an internal sin. We can hide it easily by our emotions, responses to our suffering, or even our pain. But it is so deadly, as the end of verse 12 tells us. There is nothing worse than falling away from God. And in verse 13 we are given a protection—a way of escape. Sin will harden our hearts to truth and reality. Sin will make us believe that there is no way out and the only option for us is to continue in our sin. Even scarier, sin will make us think that our behavior isn’t really sin.

These verses are a warning—a reminder that an unbelieving heart is an ugly, slippery slope leading to the ultimate destruction—separation from God. There are a variety of circumstances that can lead us to have an unbelieving heart. Some are outside of our control. I have faced the temptation to turn from God’s promises and believe the lie that he really is not for me. In fact, I’ve even given into the temptation and felt the bitterness that invades every fiber of your being when unbelief takes over. On a number of occasions this past year I have heard myself say: “I don’t want this lesson anymore. It’s too painful and not worth it.” By God’s grace, his faithfulness has kept me even when I am faithless.

An unbelieving heart is a silent killer, and the writer of Hebrews knew this. He knew that unbelief is a subtle sin that can slip under the radar of even the most discerning fellow believer. But it erodes our spiritual growth and replaces it with anger and bitterness towards God.

The danger when we face suffering, disappointment, and various circumstances is that those trials begin to define us. They are devastating and all we can see in front of us is the pain. It’s hard to trust in God when we don’t understand his dealings with us. The writer of Hebrews is speaking directly to these feelings. In verses 8-11 of chapter 3, he reminds us of the sin of the Israelites in the Old Testament. They turned from God in the wilderness because didn’t believe that he was really for them—they didn’t believe that he would act on their behalf.

Don’t be like the Israelites in the wilderness that you are in. Don’t turn from the only one who can truly understand your pain, sorrow, weakness, and suffering—our faithful high priest, Jesus. Regardless of our circumstances, and they may be very bleak at the moment, God has already acted on our behalf in the greatest way possible through the death and resurrection of his Son. Because of this great gift of salvation, we have been given a hope and a God who sympathizes with us. These verses are a good warning for me as I face the temptation to turn from the promises I know to be true—that God is for me and not against me.

Population Control is God's Domain

2011-11-03T18:16:00.001-04:00

Earlier this week the world population was supposed to hit 7 billion. I was really intrigued by the reports for a number of reasons. One: because my sister-in-law was in early labor and about to have my niece (she was born on Tuesday!). Two: because so many of the reports were laced with implications that the world population is simply becoming too much to handle.

There are a variety of angles in each report about the amount of people who now populate the earth. Some see it as greater proof for the need for population control. Some see it as an opportunity to encourage and help women become better educated, believing that greater education leads to a lower birthrate. And other simply speculate on the reasons for this “population boom.”

I’m not a population expert by any stretch. I don’t follow the growth trends or theories surrounding our growing world. But I am a news watcher. One of the things that was troubling to me as I watched a number of reports on the prediction that we would be 7 billion strong by this week is that so many of the reports included questions about population control. Coupled with fear over the strain on natural resources in more depressed parts of the world, some are implying that in order for our world to be sustainable we must do something about the number of people we are now bringing into this world.

China could be a test case for this, though no one really wants to use them as the example. The Chinese government has strictly enforced a one-child policy over the years, leaving many parents to fear when they accidentally (or intentionally) get pregnant for the second time. Not to mention the untold numbers of baby girls who are either aborted or left for dead because of the premium on boys in China. The problem when we begin to tell people how many kids they can have is that we begin to think we can control other aspects of childbearing, like gender and the health of the child. When you only get one shot at it, the less than desirable is sacrificed in pursuit of the perfect.

The biblical command to be fruitful and multiply doesn’t include an ideal number. Some could say that in the best interest of an overflowing world that command should be fulfilled with fewer children. But others could say that God’s promise to keep us here until his appointed time trumps any alarming statistic that we might run out of resources.

Another study says that the population, while still growing, actually includes more gray haired people than before. People are living longer, and as healthcare improves this will continue to be the case. So if the surging population is actually due to the longevity of our elderly, wouldn’t the “population control” folk actually want to pare down that demographic as well?

Whenever we get into the details of telling people when they can and should fulfill their God-given command to procreate, or their God-appointed time to die, we are entering territory that is only to be traveled by our Creator. The world is growing at a rapid pace. There is an increasingly healthy elderly population. Some cultures are producing children at a rate faster than their natural resources can be replenished. And in these cultures some women are forced to marry extremely young and have as many children as their husband wants. As Christians, we know that the earth is groaning under the weight of the curse of sin. Ground that doesn’t produce food and water that dries up is proof that this is not how God intended it. Little girls being forced to marry at the age of 8 or 9 and then have children right after their first period is atrocious. The answer isn’t universal population control. Human beings were created in God’s image. That is why God told Adam and Eve (and every person after them) to be fruitful and multiply. When a child is conceived and born he (or she) gives glory to the Creator in whose image this baby was made. This doesn’t mean that we don’t personally make decisions that might control how many children we have, but that’s not the government’s job to do for us.

As Christians, 7 billion people in the world should not be cause for concern about the state of our resources. Rather it should be cause for prayer and rejoicing; prayer because so many of them don’t know Christ (and are giving birth to children in terrible conditions) and rejoicing because each person represents a life made in God’s image and a soul that will never die. God is still the creator of this broken and decaying world. He is not surprised by overpopulation and he is sovereign over the newborn baby’s cry in a hospital and the water source of a small village. Population is his to control.

The Power of the Boring Testimony

2011-11-01T17:35:00.001-04:00

A good testimony sells. At least that is what a lot of people think when it comes to picking someone to recount how God saved them. We like the testimony of the former drug addict, crazy partier, or promiscuous girl. We tend to think that this person tells a better story, a more compelling story of God’s grace and forgiveness. We use the story of the woman who wiped Jesus’ tear-stained feet with her hair. She was forgiven of a lot, which is why she was so grateful for Jesus. The magnitude of her sin compelled her to weep and thank Jesus for his grace. But is her story really that different from anyone else’s?

Before God saved me my life was similar to this woman. I loved my sin and enjoyed it lavishly. But if my story was different, and I had trusted Christ at an early age, my testimony would be no less amazing. In fact, it might even be more compelling. It’s easy to sin. It’s not out of the ordinary to engage in sinful behavior and be proud of it. What’s hard is to follow Christ whole-heartedly when the world is pulling you to jump in and enjoy the “fun.” A life that is protected from the outward manifestations of blatant rebellion towards God should cause us to worship and rejoice in God’s good work in the life of this believer.

So why do we gravitate towards, and praise, the “crazy” testimony? We are products of the entertainment culture. We like the sensational and the interesting. Reality television alone is evidence of this. But as true and Christ-exalting as these testimonies can be sometimes, I think they can almost do more damage than good in the lives of those who hear it.

In high school I heard a number of testimonies of people who were saved out of sinful lifestyles, and even though they gave glory to God for their salvation, what kept ringing through my mind as they talked was “I want a testimony like that.” As sinful as they made their former life sound, it had a forbidden allure. In my mind, they lived life to the fullest and lived unscathed to tell the story. Plus, sin always looks more enticing than the gospel to an unregenerate person.

But I was so wrong.

I now have their story, and I would give my life to take it back. And I don’t think I’m alone. Countless kids hear shocking testimonies and think that it would be really cool to have a testimony like that. It’s not. One of the ways we can help counter the overwhelming interest in the “sensational” testimonies is to not cater to the hype surrounding them. Don’t believe the myth that if they just hear all the sordid details about the wild life you, or someone else, lived they will suddenly fall on their face and proclaim Jesus as Lord. They might not. And even if they do, for every kid who follows Christ because of the story there are a dozen who it has the counter effect on. This doesn’t mean we aren’t honest about who we are and who Christ saved. It just means we don’t put all of our faith in the story being the means of salvation.

The next time you ask someone to give a testimony at a youth event consider asking the girl or guy who was saved at the age of 5. I remember one of my pastors saying, often with tears in his eyes, “God saved me from a life of drinking, sex, and debauchery—all before I turned 6.”

Grace is amazing not because of the recipient of the grace, but because of the One giving the grace. In reality, even the most righteous act we do is like filthy rags before him. No amount of good behavior can please him, so why do we so often think that the “good” testimonies are so boring? That a perfect and holy God would save any of us is cause for celebration. But he does. And that’s why it is so amazing—from the former prostitute to the six-year old praying by her bedside. No one is righteous, but God sent his Son to save sinners like you and me. It’s all undeserved and all free.

The woman who wept before Jesus wasn’t overcome with emotion because she sinned more than everyone else; rather she was overcome with thankfulness because she finally grasped the magnitude of her sin. If you are in Christ, your testimony is just as amazing. That a good God, perfect and right in all of his ways, would send his righteous Son to die for sinners like us is a story worth telling. And it makes even the most “boring” testimonies in the eyes of the world glorious because of what he has done.

We Trust in God

2011-10-24T17:14:00.006-04:00

I wrote this post on Monday afternoon. The verse had been on my heart for a few days as I was preparing to have surgery Tuesday morning. It was my second surgery in three and a half years and was supposed to clear up all of the endometriosis in my body. We had no inclination that it wouldn't be enough. God had other plans, and it was worse than we (or the doctor) realized. So we are now re-grouping. I'm trying to rest and recover and also grapple with the news that I still have some heavy treatment left before our infertility journey is over. It's been a rough few days. I find it ironic that I wrote this post about this particular verse with no idea what was about to unfold a mere twenty four hours later. But God did. God was not surprised by the diagnosis. He is still on his throne and he is still our sustainer and helper in this storm. We are thankful for so many people who have cared for us and pointed us to the One who heals the sick, restores the brokenhearted, and gives barren women a home. We trust in him alone.

****************************************************************

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." -Psalm 20:7

What do you trust in? We don't use chariots for transportation anymore. We don't ride horses and depend on them for our livelihood. In fact, most of us don't even own livestock. But this psalm still stands true in our lives.

Do you trust in your job? Friends? Family? Spouse? Doctors? Money? There are a whole host of things we are drawn to trust in when life presses in around us. David was no different. He is calling the reader to trust only in the God who gives us life and every good gift.

In verse 4 he says:

"May he grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans!"

He is the one who does it. As followers of Christ we no longer have to trust in things that pass away, like money, doctors, health, people, or our stuff. It will all fail us in the end. We trust in God, the maker of heaven and earth, and the keeper of our life.

All My Sins Are Paid For

2011-10-24T17:03:00.002-04:00

One of the defining characteristics of Christianity is that we can’t save ourselves. This belief, that our right standing before God is all God-given grace, is what sets us apart from other religions in the world. A few days ago as we were talking to a non-Christian friend about his religion, he laid out what he believed would happen to him after he died. One statement he made has stuck with me. After explaining his beliefs to us, he basically said that he really has no assurance that he will be saved in the end. He just hopes that his good works will be enough to please his god. After he told us that, one phrase just kept ringing in my ears:

“Full atonement, can it be! Hallelujah! What a savior!”

The words from this popular hymn capture the essence of our great salvation so beautifully. The hymn writer unpacks the work Christ accomplished on our behalf and his only response can be “hallelujah, what a savior!” It’s our response as well.

Perhaps one might think that a conversation about religion could make a believer question his or her beliefs. Maybe it does. But I would venture to say that Jesus shines more brightly when we see him up against the false religions that blind so many in our world.

Works of righteousness will never be enough for anyone to stand before God. Even our best days are filthy rags to him. He is too holy and too majestic to even look on our good days and let us go free. That is why my friend has to do so many good works. It’s never enough. And when he gets to the end of his life, he will still fall short.

But Jesus made a way. Another non-Christian friend of ours said that he thinks people become Christians because it’s easier to be a Christian than to follow his religion. Christians are more free and don’t have to do as many things as he does. And he is right. Christians are the freest of all people because we are no longer in bondage to our sin. We have been covered by the free grace of Christ and our sins don’t condemn us anymore. Christ did all of the work for us.

It seems so basic, doesn’t it? If you have been a Christian for a number of years it’s so easy to put aside the realities of your salvation. We get busy. We focus on other aspects of Christianity. We forget the feeling we felt when Christ first saved us. But Jesus Christ took your sins and paid for them all so you could be in his family. So often we need a jolt to be reminded of our great salvation. I know I did.

There are millions of people in our world who cannot see that Jesus is enough. They have not tasted his goodness and embraced his salvation on their behalf. Instead they live in darkness believing that the only way they will ever see light is if they work as hard as they can to get out of the darkness. The harder they work, the darker their world becomes. If you have been given eyes to see the light of Christ, praise him for the full atonement for your sins. And pray that many lost people would be given eyes to see him too. It is all of grace, freely given by our great Savior.

The Way God Answers Prayer

2011-10-18T15:55:00.002-04:00

One of the hardest things in our struggle to conceive again has been facing the fact that God's answer to our prayer at this time seems to be "not now." We cry out to him regularly, asking him to do what only he can do, which is open my womb again. We can't make him answer our prayers in the way that we want any more than we can create life. It's a humbling place to be.

But it's a good place to be.

I have wrestled with why God answers prayers the way he does. For some, it's a favorable answer. For others, it's not. And not just in my own life. I've seen dear friends plead with God for things, only to receive year after year of unmet hopes and dreams. I've had a lot of questions and been forced to really work through what the Bible says about God's character and his good plan for the lives of his people, including my own. That's why I was so thankful to read the following quote in D.A. Carson's book, A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers. If you want a pick-me-up for your prayer life, this book is totally the one for you. It has been life changing for me. It's opened my eyes to the purpose of prayer and my own sinful prayerlessness. It has helped me tremendously these last few weeks.

Carson has this to say about God's sovereignty in answering prayer (he's writing in reference to Paul's prayer to have the thorn removed):

"Suppose, for argument's sake, that every time we asked God for anything and ended our prayers with some appropriate formula, such as 'in Jesus' name,' we immediately received what we asked for. How would we view prayer? How would we view God? Wouldn't prayer become a bit of clever magic? Wouldn't God himself become nothing more than an extraordinarily powerful genie, to be called up, not by rubbing Aladdin's lamp, but by praying?...What an easy and domesticated religion."

He goes on to say this:

"There is a profound sense in which the sovereign, holy, loving, wise Father whom we address in Jesus' name is more interested in us than in our prayers. I do not mean to depreciate praying, only to say that God's response to our prayers cannot be abstracted from his treatment of us."

"I do not know the end from the beginning. Only God does. But he is interested in me as his child, in the same way that he was interested in the life and ministry of the apostle Paul. Part of this business of prayer is getting to know God better; part of it is learning his mind and will; part of it is tied up with teaching me to wait, or teaching me that my requests are often skewed or my motives selfish. Just as God's unexpected answer to Paul's prayers was the best possible answer (precisely because it was God's), so also his answers to our prayers will always be for his glory and his people's good"

When it comes down to it, I don't really want a God who answers every prayer my way. He wouldn't be sovereign and all-wise if he did. I'm fallen and not sovereign. I don't see all of the details he sees. I don't see my soul like he does. So when he says "no" to my prayer, he is really saying "I'm giving you what is best for you right now. I want you to see me better and find your greatest joy in me. My answer to you is for your good and your joy"

So whatever you are praying for today, know that God hears your prayers and has not turned a deaf ear to you, regardless of the answer you receive. We do not have a small and domesticated religion. We worship a big God, who lavishly gives us good gifts and holds back just as graciously. In all of these things he is giving us a gift, namely the gift of himself.

Friday is for Food: Orange Teriyaki Salmon

2011-10-14T17:04:00.002-04:00

My sister-in-law sent me this recipe about a month ago and we recently tried it. I've said before that I have had an aversion to fish for almost all of my life, but since Daniel likes it (and it's good for us) I try to include fish recipes into our menu every once in a while. We really liked this recipe! I hope you do too!

Orange Teriyaki Salmon
Recipe by Becca Smith for Ourbestbites.com
*This makes quite a bit of marinade. You could definitely get away with a little more fish in there, or even half the recipe for smaller portions.

about 2 pounds salmon; one large filet or 2 smaller ones
3/4 C orange marmalade
4 Tablespoons butter
1/2 C orange juice
3 Tbs bottled teriyaki sauce
6 Tbs soy sauce
1 Tbs worshershire sauce
2 Tbs vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 Tbs brown sugar
1/2 tsp liquid smoke
1/8 tsp ground red pepper, or 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
several cracks black pepper
2 Tbs chopped dry onion, or 1/4 C minced fresh onion
3 Tbs dry parsley or about 1/2 C fresh

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Layer a piece of heavy duty foil over a large baking sheet Lay on one more sheet in the opposite direction, leaving about 8″ of overhang on all sides.

Place marmalade and butter in a small microwave safe bowl and heat for about 30 seconds, or until butter is melted. Whisk until smooth. Combine this mixture with all ingredients (except fish) in a bowl and stir until smooth. Rinse salmon in cold water and pat dry. Place skin side down on baking sheet. Pour marinade over fish.

Starting from one end, gather the foil overhang together and roll them together to seal a tent-like pouch. Bake in oven for about 25 minutes. Fish should be opaque and flake easily with a fork. Test fish and return pan to oven for an additional 5-10 minutes if necessary. Serve salmon with sauce spooned over top.

Grill instructions: Preheat gas grill to 325. Place foil pouch on upper rack if you have one, or on indirect heat on the main rack. Follow the same baking instructions as if it were in the oven.
Fish can also be cooked in a foil tent over a camp fire. Season the fish as desired (you can also add a couple of tablespoons of water to help it steam in the hot fire) and close up your foil tent. Nestle your foil pouch into the glowing embers where the heat isn’t as intense as the flames. Cooking time may vary depending on the size and variety of fish, so check it after 10 minutes. If it’s not done, check at 2-3 minute intervals after that.

Enjoy!!!

A Christian Response to Gay Bullying

2011-10-12T15:56:00.002-04:00

It seems the topic of bullying has been in the news a lot more recently. Maybe it's the rise of social media and a variety of avenues for young people to taunt each other, or maybe it's just getting worse. I don't know. But I do know that I've seen a lot of discussion regarding the basis for gay bullying. Often the push for tolerance of homosexuality follows the sad news that another gay student has committed suicide. As Christians, how are we to respond to such claims about tolerance? How are we to love and care for hurting people, regardless of their lifestyle, without abandoning the Bible's clear teaching about sexuality?

I attempted to answer this question in a post today on the Christianity Today blog for women (Her.meneutics). It's not an easy answer, but it's something we all must think about, especially as homosexual behavior becomes increasingly normalized.

In the post, I said:

"Christians must bridge the gap between bullying and the cry for tolerance. We cannot turn a blind eye to sinful behavior of any sort, whether it’s homosexual behavior or hateful bullying. And we also must clearly define bullying, focusing on physical and verbal abuse rather than simple disagreement with another’s actions."

Read the rest here.

God Makes No Discoveries

2011-10-10T14:35:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago I heard that there had been a discovery of something with the ability to go faster than the speed of light. They are called neutrinos, and the world's largest physics lab made the discovery. Apparently they move pretty fast. Fast enough to question a theory that has been around for a very long time. I don't know a whole lot about physics. In fact, I had to ask my husband what Einstein's theory even meant. But I find it fascinating that even when we have the greatest scientific research capabilities our world has ever known, we are still not finished in the discovery of our universe.

And yet, so often the scientific community (and many in academia) miss the creator of it all. We only discover because God has given us a brain, talent, and eyes to see what he has made. A discovery to us is no discovery to God. I've been studying the book of Job in a bible study over the past few weeks, and it has completely opened my eyes to new things in God's word. At the end of the book God finally speaks to Job, and the way he does is surprising, especially to us as 21st century observers. In revealing the greatness of who he is he draws attention to the wonder of his creation. It's overwhelming, really. In our busy modern times we don't often stop to take his creation in, to marvel at it, and see his greatness in it. No piece of his creation moves without his sovereign and perfect command. He cares for the intimate details of everything he has made. Job 38:36 says, "Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind?" Here God is saying that he is the one who grants wisdom and understanding. All knowledge comes from him. What seems like a great discovery to us is no discovery to him. When we are baffled and surprised that Einstein's theory can be brought into question, God isn't. He knows it all. If there is something even faster than a neutrino, he knows it because he made it.

The beauty of all of this is that God could have just given us all the answers immediately. Or he could have left us in the dark, unable to make any discoveries. But the fact that he gives doctors, researchers, teachers, and scientists knowledge of such things is cause for worship. He made us to be discovering and creative beings. He has given us a way to know his creation more fully by the knowledge he gives. He has not left us to ourselves, and his gift of wisdom and knowledge to us is another evidence of that fact.

So while many were scrambling at the surprise revelation that something else may be faster than light, God was not. He made the light and the neutrino. And he made everything else in this world we live in. May we have eyes to see his power in the beauty of discovery and always give him the worship he deserves.

Friday is for Food: Baked Potato Soup

2011-10-07T11:48:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted a recipe in a while primarily because I haven't been cooking as much since we've been out of town a lot recently. But when we were with some friends and family a couple of weeks ago they mentioned that they actually used some of the recipes I have posted! It gave me new inspiration to keep sharing thoughts from my little kitchen.

I found this recipe on my blog friend's blog. It is amazing! I actually made it a few weeks ago when we had a cold front come through. And by cold front I mean it was in the 70's. I know for some of you readers out there it is soup weather already. But for us Arkansas folk it's still in the mid to upper 80's. Maybe I will start blasting the air conditioner just so I can make soup! It's October and I feel like I should be making soup and fall-like meals. Oh well.

So here is the yummy baked potato soup recipe. I could eat it all of the time. It's that good. But I think anything that includes bacon and cheese is good.

Baked Potato Soup by Chelsea Bass

What you need:

3 bacon strips, diced
1 small onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken broth
3 large potatoes, baked, peeled, and cubed
1 cup half-and-half

How It's Done:

Begin by baking potatoes. While in the oven, cook bacon, chop onion, and mince garlic. Saute the onion and garlic in bacon grease or butter/margarine until soft. Add in chopped bacon, flour, salt, basil and pepper; mix well. Gradually add chicken broth.

Bring to boil. Boil and stir for two minutes and then reduce heat. Add half-and-half.

Once the potatoes are done, peel and dice them and add to the mixture. Heat thouroughly, but do not boil.

Serve with a spoonful of shredded cheddar cheese and a piece of warm bread.

Enjoy! Happy Friday!

"God Said It. I Believe It."

2011-10-05T16:03:00.003-04:00

"And he believed the LORD, and he counted it to him as righteousness." - Genesis 15:6

Last week I talked about my tendency towards doubting good news and struggling with believing what I cannot see. The story of Abraham has ministered to me greatly in the past few weeks. He had to wrestle hard with what it means to believe God and take him at his word (and, like me, he didn't always do that well). This morning I read about God's covenant with Abraham in Genesis 15 and how Abraham believed God's promise to make him into a great nation. Abraham was essentially believing that what God said was true. This belief, this complete trust in God's word, was the basis of his faith. Abraham's belief was a recognition of his utter dependence on the One who would do all that he said. He trusted that God would act on his behalf. He believed God's word was true.

His story is no different than mine. I have to daily fight to believe that what God says in his word is true regardless of my circumstances. As I read the story of Abraham this morning, I was reminded of a children's song my niece used to listen to. It was about God's word, and while I don't remember all of the lyrics, one line has never left my memory:

"God said it. I believe it."

So simple and short, yet so powerful. This line holds the same truth for me as it did for my little niece. If God said it, then I will believe it. But how often do I question his word? It starts in the small things and moves on to the bigger and more obvious. When we doubt him in the seemingly insignificant areas of our life it makes doubting him in the most important areas that much easier.

Often we think Abraham had a greater advantage than us. He heard directly from God. God performed an amazing miracle in his life by granting him a child at an age when all hope of ever conceiving seemed lost. God dealt with him personally. Surely it made believing easier, right?

But God has spoken to us in even more amazing ways. We live on the other side of the promise. The one who was going to bless the nations Abraham fathered has come. The promised seed that the patriarchs, and everyone else in the Old Testament, looked forward to has come and has made a way for us be righteous. He acted on our behalf. God's word has come true in the life, death, and resurrection of his son, Jesus. Hebrews 1:2 says that "in these last days he [God] has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom he also created the world." Abraham only had a veiled promise of a hope to come. The veil has been removed from our eyes and we now have the promise.

This is why we can trust God. All that he says he will do he accomplishes. He never fails. He never recants. And he is always faithful to his promises. Like Abraham, we are not always able to see all of the details of God's plan for our lives, but we can trust that the greatest promise for us has already been fulfilled at the cross of Jesus Christ. Our sins have been paid for and we have been given the righteousness of Christ. By virtue of this very transaction at Calvary we have hope that God will always work for our good (Rom. 8:28).

His word is true. He has said it and by his grace I believe it.

Doubting Good News

2011-09-27T11:53:00.004-04:00

Sarah was 90 years old when she was told she would give birth to a son. Zechariah was well passed the age when a normal person becomes a father when he was promised a child. Both had spent years praying, longing, hoping, and grieving over the desire for children. So you can imagine their amazement (and shock) when they are told that they will soon receive the desire of their heart. But their reaction is more than just shock. It's unbelief (Genesis 18; Luke 1). And they were rebuked for their mistrust of what God said he would do. Years and years of waiting made good news seem impossible. They probably had given up hope that children would ever be a reality for them. They were so used to bad news, that when good news came it didn't seem real.

I don't blame them. I, too, have wrestled with this same unbelief in recent months. Whenever God provides for us and answers a prayer I have doubted that he is really working in my life. I have assumed his answer of infertility means a lack of care, and therefore any other answer to our needs and desires is not really evidence of love and care for me, his child. I've prepared myself for bad news for so long that when good news comes I have a hard time seeing it as good. One of the glorious things about the Bible is that it reveals the human heart in fresh ways. My sinfulness is laid bare when I am exposed to God's word, and I'm not alone. The tendency to doubt God's goodness has been a thorn in our flesh since Adam fell in the Garden. And it still causes problems today.

Sarah's laughter, Zechariah's questions, and my doubting all reveal the same thing: a heart that doesn't trust God. Sarah and Zechariah were rebuked because they didn't trust God. Their initial reaction to God's promises for them revealed that they doubted his good plan for them. My reaction to answered prayer does the same.

These reactions are the opposite of faith. Faith is believing what you cannot see. I didn't see Jesus die for my sins, but I have faith that what God says is true and what he completed on the cross is sufficient for my sins. Doubt is believing what you can see. Another negative pregnancy test feels like, and looks like (at first glance), God has forgotten me.

The reason I (and every other biblical character who doubted) have a hard time with good news is because I've gotten into a pattern of doubting God's good plan for my life. So when his good plan includes a favorable answer to my prayers (even if it is small), I can't see it for what it is. I doubt that it is real. I doubt that he can do all things. I doubt that he is truly working in my situation.

Thankfully sanctified faith is not a prerequesite for answer to my prayers. Like Sarah and Zechariah, I need some chastening and help from the Holy Spirit when I am tempted (and give in) to doubt God's good purposes.

God is in the business of answering our prayers and giving us eyes to see his great love and care for us. Sometimes he lets us see a small glimpse of what he is doing in our lives. Other times he covers his purpose with a veil so we learn to trust him more in the darkness. Even when we can't see behind the veil, he is still working, answering prayers, increasing our faith, and preparing us for glory.

Trusting What You Cannot See

2011-09-26T17:39:00.002-04:00

"Between the death of Lazarus and his resurrection four days later, his family could not see how God would be glorified in it. That would be revealed at his resurrection. Therefore, if that is where you stand today—and all of us do, in some sense, not seeing clearly how God is glorified in the death of our beloved—do not judge before the resurrection. God is doing more than you can know. And the resurrection will bring it all to light. In the mean time, trust him, and treasure him above all things." - John Piper, This Illness Is for the Glory of God (sermon)

Maybe you haven't lost a loved one, but you are facing a suffering that seems pointless right now. It isn't. There are a thousand details going on behind the scenes that God is orchestrating for your good and ultimate joy in him. It is evidence of his great love for you. He will show up in your pain in ways you never would have known had you not faced this trial. I know this because he has done it for me. Let this quote from Pastor John minister to your weary soul today in whatever season you are in.

Listen to the sermon

While We Wait

2011-09-22T10:38:00.003-04:00

Carolyn McCulley has recently written a couple of posts (here and here) about praying for a husband and living with the desire for marriage when it's not necessarily being fulfilled immediately. While the posts don't apply to my specific situation right now, I found her insights about waiting on God to provide something you strongly desire extremely helpful for myself in this season of infertility. Waiting is waiting. The specifics are different, but often the helplessness of the waiting is the same regardless of the thing we are waiting for. Granted, the levels of pain and emotion are different with the varying degrees of waiting, but the temptation to sin and the tendency towards despair are present for nearly everyone who is waiting on God to give them what they desperately desire. Wherever you are in the "waiting" journey of life, consider these questions she asks and ask God to apply them to your heart today. Her questions are geared towards women waiting on marriage, but as I read them I inserted my own situation of waiting on God to open my womb. I pray they help you like they helped me.

You find it hard to pray because you think God doesn't want to bless you.

You aren't thankful for all the other answered prayers and blessings in your life.

You withdraw from others who are getting married or in relationships. (I do understand how hard it can be when someone else enters a relationship, especially with a man you are interested in. Being knocked off-balance by disappointment is common and it takes time to grieve lost hopes. But it should be temporary. If it becomes a permanent way of relating to others, then you've entered the place of bitterness and idolatry.)

You go to church more aware of the human relationships around you (ones you envy, ones you want) than your relationship with God.

You think you have no purpose in the Kingdom because you are single, so therefore you don't serve others in the church or outside of it. You've begun to believe the Enemy's lie that nothing good can come out of this season of your life.

Any discussion of marriage or singleness is a sore spot for you, one that keeps bringing you back to the idea that God is withholding something good from you.

The Crisis of Pregnancy Reduction

2011-09-19T18:26:00.004-04:00

“I couldn’t have imagined reducing twins for nonmedical reasons,” she said, “but I had an amnio and would have had an abortion if I found out that one of the babies had an anomaly, even if it wasn’t life-threatening. I didn’t want to raise a handicapped child. Some people would call that selfish, but I wouldn’t. Parents who abort for an anomaly just don’t want that life for themselves, and it’s their prerogative to fashion their lives how they want. Is terminating two to one really any different morally?”

This has haunted me since I read it over a month ago. The quote came from an article in The New York Times Magazine on August 10. The article chronicled the troubling trend of pregnancy reduction in twin pregnancies. Pregnancy reduction, a sterilized euphemism for abortion, is not uncommon in multiple pregnancies, but when a couple decides to reduce from a twin to a singleton some in the medical community begin to draw the line.

The article presents the situation as a mere choice for these parents. Children, after all, are a commodity that many spend thousands to conceive, but when they get more than they bargain for the lines become blurred. If the children in utero are shown to be a consumer good, rather than a precious life, then the choice seems a lot easier.

But is it?

Choices have consequences, sometimes lifelong ones. For the families who choose one baby over the other, the lifelong memory of the child that could have been most likely never dissipates.
But what haunted me the most as I read this article was the rationale for aborting these children, and so many others, is founded in the belief that we are autonomous beings in control of our own destiny. We have the right to dictate how our life plays out, and when it takes an unexpected turn (like a multiples pregnancy or a baby with Down’s syndrome) we take the necessary measures to adjust our lives to our liking.

As much as we want to make our lives fit neatly into a perfectly square box, it won’t. Life is fluid. It changes. It is flawed and broken. And we don’t really have a choice in the way it unfolds sometimes. We are not God, and the more we try and play his role the farther into darkness we will descend.

This article messed me up when I read it. Maybe it’s because as I read the article I kept thinking “but I would take your baby! I would love your baby that you don’t want!” Or maybe it’s because in the back of my mind I saw a little piece of myself in the stories of the women presented. Yes, I would never abort my baby even if I had a multiples pregnancy or my baby had an abnormality. But I do try to play God in the little things in my life. I try to control every aspect of my fertility so I can at least think I have a shot at getting pregnant again.

But I’m not God either. And he knows my story and the details of my life just as much as he does the lives of the women who think they are controlling their own universe. More importantly, he knows the names of those precious unwanted babies, discarded as medical waste on the altar of their parents’ desire for freedom and comfort.

To all of this heartbreak we say, Maranatha, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Friday is For Fotos

2011-09-16T10:27:00.005-04:00

No, we aren't in Hollywood (although that would be fun!). This is Branson, MO, and this picture doesn't even scratch the surface of the vast array of tourist attractions along the Branson strip. The only word I could think of as we drove around our first night here is "overwhelming". Daniel had a convention to attend for his job, so I tagged along. We have eaten well, enjoyed exploring, and tried to stay warm (they had a cold front come through and our Little Rock blood isn't used to it yet).

Happy Friday from the traveling Reissigs!

Learning Endurance

2011-09-15T10:16:00.003-04:00

I've been running regularly since the beginning of the summer. Those who know me know that this is no small feat. I've always disliked running, primarily because I was afraid of it. The idea of running brought back horrible memories of my pathetic attempts to run the required mile in high school P.E. I didn't. In fact, I didn't complete a mile without stopping until I was 24 years old. If I ever felt the slightest twinge of pain, or began to breathe hard, I would stop. I had no endurance and I didn't really care.

Fast forward a few years and in God's kind (and humorous) providence, I married a runner. And not just any runner. He is a trained runner. You know, the kind who runs marathons and likes them. They say that marriage changes you. Boy, has it changed me.

I'm a runner now.

It's not like I'm a really good runner or anything. I'm not fast by an stretch of the imagination. I don't have any aspirations of racing glory. And while my early days of running were painful and made me want to quit, I now find myself enjoying my daily morning runs more and more. Why? Because I've grown in endurance. As I run a little more each day my body is physically prepared to go farther and faster.

I always used to gloss over the passages in Scripture that talk about learning endurance and running the race well. I could apply them to my life, but usually that was because I had watched running races on television or stood at the finish line for a marathon. I actually had never finished any running race, or anything physical for that matter (unless you count the year that I was on a swim team. I finished last place every race). My entire life I have been a quitter. If it gets too hard, I quit. Often I didn't have the drive to keep going. Hardness and discomfort translated into not liking it, which meant I needed to find something else to do. I didn't understand that pushing through the pain or discomfort might actually make the activity more enjoyable in the long run.

Isn't that how it is in the Christian life as well? The race we have been given will most certainly be filled with extreme conditions: suffering, persecution, war with indwelling sin, sorrow, joy, pain, happiness, love, death. But only those who finish the race will receive the eternal joy promised at the end (1 Cor. 9:24; 2 Tim. 4:7-8). The race requires endurance, patience, and a strength that is outside of ourselves. Yes, we are responsible to run this race, but we are also carried along in this race by the one who promised to complete the work began in us (Phil. 1:6). He has already completed the race for us and is waiting at the finish line (Heb. 12:1-2).

What I never understood about endurance, I now see more clearly. For this habitual quitter, running is exactly what I needed to help me with discipline and learning patience. I like quick results and fast answers. That doesn't come in running and it doesn't come in the Christian life either. It's a slow race. It's a hard race. But I will finish it one day, because he who promises is faithful.

Wilberforce for Today

2011-09-08T13:11:00.004-04:00

I've been reading Eric Metaxas book, Amazing Grace: William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery, and it has been as challenging as I thought it would be. I thought I knew a good bit about the abolition of slavery, but have realized that most of my knowledge about this horrible practice is from American history. Wilberforce was the leader of abolition in England, so I've learned a whole new aspect of history that has been insightful and made me really think about the implications for me in the 21st century.

By God's grace, slavery as they knew it in the 19th century is now over. Wilberforce led the effort as a member of Parliament in England. His driving conviction was that all human beings were created in the image of God--even African human beings. This belief catapulted him as the leader of the abolition movement, one that was not without tremendous persecution. Besides the fact that his physical condition was plagued by frequent illness, he faced death threats and hatred from his own countrymen on multiple fronts. Those involved in the slave trade were so tied to their belief that the slaves were nothing more than property that they would stop at nothing to remove this troublesome obstacle, namely Wilberforce.

As I read the horrific accounts of life for the slaves on the slave ships I was overwhelmed with sadness and anger. "How could Christians in Britain and America believe that this was the right thing to do, or let it go on for so long?" I thought. We have the vantage point of looking back now that this form of slavery is abolished, but are we really any different than our brothers and sisters from two centuries ago? Sure, we don't have a commercial industry devoted to buying and selling human beings. But we do have pristine abortion clinics masquerading as medical facilities devoted to the good of women and society. And let's not forget that millions of people, many of them women and children, are still in bondage as slaves even today. We might not ship slaves from Africa to serve on sugar and cotton plantations in the South and West Indies, but we do ship countless women and children to brothels and perverted men across the globe.

I don't know what the answer is. The activist in me wishes I did. There are good "Wilberforce-like" ministries in place that help pregnant women choose life, provide a healing place for trafficking victims, and prosecute those who buy and sell human beings. I can pray for them, and pray that God raises up more just like them. And I can pray that God gives me less complacency and more concern for the suffering and abused in this world. He is the only hope for all of us. Wilberforce understood that, as evidenced by his later efforts to make a way for missionaries to go to India. He wasn't about abolition for abolition's sake. He was about abolition so God would get glory.

Reading this book has been a sobering reminder that it's easy as a society to believe that the ways things are is the way things are supposed to be. As Christians, we have a greater authority than societal norms. Wilberforce understood that and did something about it. I'm thankful for his example for all of us. May I be willing to do the same.

I Will Rise

2011-09-06T20:18:00.001-04:00

“He will rise from this grave, you know?” That’s what my mom told me a couple of months ago after visiting my grandpa’s grave site. After looking at the plaque that marks his life, she reflected on the truth that one day he will get up out of that grave and rise. Amidst the sadness that he is no longer with us, we have a hope as Christians. When we buried him a year and a half ago we were devastated, but hopeful about a coming resurrection for him and for us. In the same way that our Savior rose from the dead and walked out of the tomb, we also will rise from the dead. When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead he was showing his followers, and us, what he would do for all believers who die in Christ. Death is not the end for us.

So why did he weep?

Death is ugly and tragic. It causes tremendous grief for the ones left behind. It is painful and sorrowful. And it is unnatural. Jesus wept because the death of Lazarus only happened because the world he created was now sinful and broken. We were never made to die. We were made to live. But that is not the reality for us. When sin entered the world, so did death (Rom. 5:12). Jesus cried over the death of Lazarus, but it was not a helpless cry. As Romans 5 goes on to say, death came through one man and life came through another—one who was perfect and sinless (Rom. 5:17; 1 Cor. 15:21-22). All who are trusting in Christ have this life, even if they face an earthly death.

But if Christ has conquered the grave by his defeat of sin and resurrection from the grave, why do funerals still cause so much pain? I can trust that my grandpa will rise and that my baby will rise, but often my heart still aches to have them here with me. As I’ve watched some of the coverage leading up to the anniversary of September 11, I’ve been reminded of the very real aspect of the loss of life that day. Christian or not, the death of a family member is deep and the pain lasts a lifetime.

I think that is how it is supposed to be. While we can trust that death has been conquered for those who trust in Christ, I think that defeat is a future and final defeat. 1 Corinthians 15:26 says that “the last enemy to be destroyed is death.” To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, but for those of us here left on this earth death still stings. The resurrection of the dead in Christ has not happened yet. It is a future reality that we long for and wait for. Paul goes on to say in 1 Corinthians 15 that death has no sting, but notice that it doesn’t happen until the dead are raised and are given imperishable bodies (vs. 50-57).

So if you are mourning the loss of a loved one today, dear Christian, know this—there is a future hope for you and for them. The grave they now lie in will not be able to hold them, nor will it hold you. We grieve now, just like our Savior did over his friend, Lazarus, knowing that sin has distorted what God created to be perfect. The pain we feel over loss and death is a reminder that this is not how it was supposed to be. Oh, but we have a hope. We will rise. My grandpa will rise. My baby will rise. I will rise. Our faith will be made sight and we will be with our gracious Lord forever. What a glorious day that will be.

Fill My Heart

2011-09-02T13:44:00.002-04:00

It has always been a battle in my soul to use my tongue for good and not evil. When I feel anger rise up in me I often feel overwhelmed by the inability to control this sometimes unruly emotion. Condemnation rises. Why do I always seem to react so sinfully? Why can't I just be more patient and nice when my little kingdom is thwarted? Recently, I confessed to my husband that the impulse to kill with my words feels uncontrollable at times. I needed this encouraging reminder from Jon Bloom at Desiring God.

"So what will come out of your mouth today, death or life? “Sword thrusts” or “healing” (Proverbs 12:18)?

It will all depend on what’s filling your heart. Jesus said, “. . . out of the abundance of the heart [the] mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). A critical heart produces a critical tongue. A self-righteous heart produces a judgmental tongue. A bitter heart produces an acerbic tongue. An ungrateful heart produces a grumbling tongue.

But a loving heart produces a gracious tongue. A faithful heart produces a truthful tongue. A peaceful heart produces a reconciling tongue. A trusting heart produces an encouraging tongue.

So fill your heart with grace by soaking in your Bible. Soak in Matthew 5, or Romans 12, or 1 Corinthians 13, or Philippians 2. And be very careful taking in the words of death in the newspaper, on the radio, the TV, or the blog.

And pray: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 41:3)."

Oh, Lord, fill my heart with righteousness and faith that can only come from your good and sovereign hand.

Love in the Local Church

2011-09-01T13:06:00.001-04:00

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it’s not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”—1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Perhaps one of the most popular sections of scripture read at weddings, 1 Corinthians 13 contains a beautiful example of the nature of love. Separated from its context, it can seem that Paul is giving us an example of how we are to love our spouse, children, or family and friends. While it is possible to read this passage and be convicted about how you love your husband, mother, brother, or children, Paul is speaking about a relationship that has much deeper bloodlines—the body of Christ.

Like most of Paul’s letters, 1 Corinthians is written to a local church. This body is a gathering of believers in the Lord, Jesus Christ who are saved by his precious blood into the family of God. Often when we hear 1 Corinthians 13 mentioned it is in isolation from the verses and chapters surrounding it. This passage, like all of Scripture, is profitable because it is God’s word, but the full meaning can best be understood if we understand what Paul is doing in the preceding chapters.

Chapter 13 is sandwiched between two chapters on spiritual gifts in the church. In chapter 12 Paul teaches the Corinthian church about the unity of the gifts and their usefulness in the body of Christ. This chapter contains tremendous encouragement for us as believers. Paul shows us that no spiritual gift is better than another and each believer is useful and valued in the body of Christ. Chapter 12 provides the framework for the practical applications that come in chapter 13.

1 Corinthians 13 is a beautiful application of how to use the gifts and minister in the body of Christ. Yes, we can glean application for our own familial relationships from chapter 13, but more importantly Paul wants us to see that all of our efforts to minister and use our spiritual gifts are meaningless if we do them for our own glory and gain (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Chapter 13 should be a defining characteristic of our churches, not because we want people to say we have such a loving church, but because we want people to see Christ as the greatest treasure. The overarching theme of Paul’s ministry was glorifying Christ. He wanted local churches to be a testimony to the sufficiency of Christ and his salvation of sinful people.

That is my prayer as our church (Midtown Baptist Church) begins our Sunday morning services this Sunday. I want to be free to be thankful for the gifts God has given me without comparing my gifts to other believers, because all of our gifts matter in the body (1 Corinthians 12:14-21). I want to care for the other believers in our congregation like I care for my own body, because they are members of Christ’s body just like me (1 Corinthians 12:27). I want to lean hard on Christ’s righteous work in my own life so I can love people well with the gifts God has given me, because every effort in my own strength will fall short every time.

Obeying 1 Corinthians 13 is not easy. I am a sinful person who is not naturally patient, loving, or humble. I am, however, naturally resentful, prideful, and irritable. By God’s gracious grace in my life, I’m growing more into the person he has called me to be.

So pray for us as we begin our services this week. Pray that we would be a church that values all members of the body and exalts Christ above all other things. Pray that our pastors would preach Christ boldly and that hearts would be stirred to trust him. We want him to made much of in all that we do.

Living By Faith vs. Living By Sight

2011-08-29T15:55:00.002-04:00

It’s hard to believe in something you can’t exactly see, isn’t it? The popular saying “you have to see it to believe it” is burned into our psyches. For the non-Christian one of the greatest obstacles to trusting in Christ is that salvation comes by faith, not by sight. For the Christian, living in light of this reality is often just as hard. When life is going well it might be relatively easy to trust in God’s promises for you. You want for nothing. The sun is shining. Everything seems to be going your way. But what about when things aren’t going the way you hoped? What do you hope in then?

Mark Dever, in his book The Message of the New Testament, says “If you try to live by what is seen, you will crash and burn as a Christian. Rather, then we fix our eyes ‘on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal’”

He goes on to ask at the end of his chapter on 2 Corinthians, “Pick some trial you presently face: What would living by sight look like in response to that trial? What would living by faith look like? How will you do the one and not the other?”

This question has been with me since I read it this weekend. I’ve talked about wrestling through 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 before, but this question made me dig even deeper into what it means to walk through a trial by faith.

Walking by faith, and not by sight, is a constant, lifelong battle. We will always face trials as Christians. Sure, there will be seasons of great joy and plenty. But most often it is the trials that God uses to chisel us and make us more like him; and just because the outcome at the end of the trial is glorious, doesn’t mean the process of getting there is pleasant. So it’s a battle. We fight to have eyes of faith that cause us to catch a small glimpse of the promises of God being fulfilled in our circumstance.

Right after our miscarriage I had a lot of hope for what God would do in our lives in the midst of our loss. I was overcome with sorrow over losing our baby, but I think God was especially kind to give me sweet fellowship with him in that intense season of grief. What began as hopeful expectancy about getting pregnant again has now turned into wondering what God is trying to do in our lives through this. Each passing month brings the sting of loss and the sting of longing to the surface in greater degrees. The temptation to live by sight is ever present in these moments. For me, living by sight would mean believing that God really isn’t hearing our prayers. Living by sight looks like questioning God’s goodness in all of it. What I “see” is another negative pregnancy test. What I “see” is a feeling that this will never work out like I want it to. What I “see” is that God doesn’t seem to be answering my prayers.

Oh, but he is.

Every once in a while he provides a little glimpse into what he is doing in our fragile lives. In those moments, no matter how small, I’m given fuel to keep going in this race. But a lot of times I’m left wondering how long he will keep us in limbo. It’s in those moments where I wrestle with living by faith. All I can see is the “seen” of our infertility. I imagine that is how Abraham felt when he waited and waited and waited for God to give Sarah and him a child. So what does it look like to live by faith in trying circumstances? God is so kind to gives us an example of what living by faith looks like in his word:

“He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was ‘counted to him as righteousness.’”—Romans 4:19-22

Faith is believing that God will do what he says. Does this mean that my infertility will go away, or that your trial will end for you? No, it does not. But it means something much more glorious.

Hebrews 12:2 says:

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

This verse comes after the amazing faith chapter of Hebrews 11. Each of the believers mentioned in that passage were commended for their faith, but they also didn’t receive what was promised in their lifetimes (11:39-40). Many waited their entire lives for God’s promises to be fulfilled, and died with that unmet longing. For us, living by faith in this life looks like living by faith in Hebrews. We look to Jesus, who gave us eyes to have faith and will perfect it until the day that this faith becomes sight.

Living by faith does not mean that we will get all of our earthly longings fulfilled. But there will come a day where our faith will be made sight. We will “see” perfectly one day—and more importantly, we will see the Promised One, the One who authored our faith and gives us grace to trust him while we wait.

Friday is for Food: Chicken Chimichangas

2011-08-26T17:54:00.003-04:00

I absolutely love.love.love Mexican food. I could eat it every week (or day) and not get tired of it. In fact, I have. In college I worked at a Mexican restaurant and every time I worked (which was almost every day) I got an employee meal. I don't remember a single instance where I was sick of eating mexican food. So when I plan our meals out for the week I have to work hard at not overloading our menu with mexican food. I had never made chimichangas before this week, so I was nervous and excited to try it. But this recipe is amazing! I got it from my dear friend, Laura. Daniel even talked about it all night after dinner! So here goes:

Chicken Chimichangas

For the filling I used a recipe from The Pioneer Woman, but only part of the recipe since it came from her White Chicken Enchiladas.

Ingredients:

Cooking oil (enough to fill 1 to 2 inches in skillet)
Large flour tortillas (I used five)
2-1/2 cups Cooked, Shredded Chicken
2 cups Reserved Broth From Chicken
1 whole Large Onion, Diced
3 whole 4 Oz Cans Whole Green Chilies, Diced (I bought them already diced)
1 whole Jalapeno, Seeded And Finely Diced
1 teaspoon Paprika
1/2 cup Heavy Cream (I only used 1/4 cup)
Salsa
White queso

Directions:

Heat 1 tablespoon canola oil in separate skillet over medium heat. Add onions and jalapenos and saute for 1 minute, just to start the cooking process. Add chicken, half of the green chilies, and 1/2 teaspoon paprika. Stir together. Add 1/2 cup chicken broth and stir. Add cream and stir, allowing mixture to bubble and get hot. Turn off heat and set aside.

Heat 1 to 2 inches of oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Spoon chicken mixture into each flour tortilla. Roll the full tortilla like a burrito and place seam up in the oil. Fry on both sides until browned. Top with white queso and salsa.

We ate ours with chips and salsa because it was really filling.

Enjoy!

Boundaries in the Workplace

2011-08-24T17:49:00.003-04:00

How do you think through your working relationships with the opposite sex? Do you have boundaries? Does it even matter? Even more than that, does the Bible have anything to say about these things?

That is the question I seek to answer in an article I wrote for Boundless webzine. There are a host of opinions on this topic, and honestly there are a lot of variables at play too. In the article I say:

"From corporate America to the church office, we cannot escape the often uncomfortable situations that our careers find us in. Many are thrust into environments where lunch meetings are the norm. Some are required to travel with the opposite sex on business trips. And the reality is that sometimes we simply cannot avoid these things. While the Bible doesn’t say “thou shall never travel with a woman or have lunch alone with a male co-worker,” there are guidelines to help us think through our working relationships with the opposite sex."

Instead of making a list of rules, I wanted to provide a biblical framework for thinking through the often sticky situations in the work environment. So if you find yourself in the same predicament when you venture into your place of employment (or if you know someone in your life who does), I hope this article serves you as you work.

Read the rest of the article here.

Friday is for Food: Meatless Manicotti

2011-08-19T14:21:00.003-04:00

With all of the travel we did during the month of July I didn't get the chance to try out many new recipes. August has been much more laid back. I try to incorporate some meatless meals into our menu primarily for budget reasons. Meat is expensive sometimes! Not all of my meatless meal attempts turn out tasting very well. But this one surprised both Daniel and me. I only made half of the recipe and it fed us for two and a half meals (two dinners and a lunch).

Here is the whole recipe:

Manicotti Made Easy

2 cups of shredded part skim mozzarella cheese (divided)
1 (16 oz.) carton of low-fat cottage cheese
1 (10 oz.) package of spinach, thawed, drained, and squeezed dry (I sauteed fresh spinach, fresh mushrooms, and garlic in olive oil instead because that's what I had. And I don't like frozen spinach for some reason)
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (I just used the cheap stuff from the store because it's what I had)
1 1/2 teaspoons of dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
14 manicotti shells
1 (26 oz.) jar of tomato basil pasta sauce (I just used the tomato sauce I had in my pantry)

Directions
Preheat oven to 375
Combine 1 1/2 cups of mozzarella cheese, cottage cheese, and all ingredients through black pepper in a medium bowl. Spoon about 3 tablespoons of mixture into uncooked manicotti shells. Pour half of tomato sauce into 9 x 13 inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Arrange stuffed shells in a single layer. Top with remaining tomato sauce. Pour 1/2 cup of water into dish and top with the remaining mozzarella cheese. Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake for 1 hour or until shells are tender. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

Missions Wednesday: Kenya

2011-08-17T15:39:00.003-04:00

Kenya is one of the countries deeply affected by the famine in the Horn of Africa. Thousands of Somalis have fled to Kenya for relief from the drought and famine that is plaguing this region. Now Kenya is burdened by the amount of people seeking relief at their borders. One of the saddest stories I have heard about the people coming into Kenya is that many women are being raped as they journey to relief camps. This is absolutely horrific. These women are escaping death by starvation and in the wake of this tragedy are faced with horrible sexual abuse at the hands of rebels in Kenya. For many of them, death would be preferable. The Kenyan police are so overwhelmed by the population surge from the famine that they are unable to fight off these gangs of criminals attacking desperate Somalis.

Even worse, Kenya is considered a predominantly Christian nation. According to Operation World, a little over 82% of Kenyans classify as Christians and 48% of that number are evangelicals. This has staggering implications for refugees coming from a Muslim nation. Obviously, many countries (like America) claim to be majority Christian and atrocities happen within our borders all of the time. All the more reason to pray that the name of Christ is not maligned by these unspeakable actions.

Ways to pray:

- Pray for the Kenyan government. They have their hands full trying to provide help to Somali people while their camps are over capacity. Pray that they can provide needed relief and execute justice for the oppressed.
- Pray that these attacks against Somali women would cease.
- Pray that the gospel of Jesus Christ would go forth and many Somalian people would be exposed to the healing and saving power of Jesus while in Kenya.

College Debt and the Sugar Daddy

2011-08-16T10:26:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, the Christianity blog for women (Her.meneutics) published a blog post I wrote on the troubling trend of young women seeking older, wealthy men to pay their college debt. In the last week I have seen at least three news venues (two from The Today Show) talk about the "sugar daddy/sugar baby" arrangement. There are all sorts of opinions on whether this is an acceptable way to pay of debt. Some call it prostitution. Some say that it's just women using their sexual power for their advantage. And in a hyper-sexualized world, why wouldn't they be allowed to do something like this? While some Christian women might look at this story and think "that would never be me," what I wanted to highlight in the post was that we are all susceptible to the temptation to compromise something (whether emotionally or physically) in order to get what we think we need most. For these women it's financial security. For some women it might be emotional or marital security.

"What are you willing to sell for relational or economic needs? It’s a question I asked myself over and over again in my single days. Sometimes the answer surprised me most when I was tempted to give a little in order to get what I wanted. This sort of arrangement is so far from the heart of God, who offers us abundant grace freely despite the fact that we give him nothing in return. This payment — this debt removal — is what all of us, from the sugar baby in Manhattan to the church single’s-group regular in the Midwest, need more than any seemingly overwhelming financial or emotional crisis."

Read the rest of the post here.

We Have Been Given a Family

2011-08-15T20:09:00.003-04:00

In many of our Christian circles we talk a lot about people "getting saved." Usually what is meant by this statement is that spiritually dead people are brought to life by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. It's a glorious thing. Dead people don't come back to life. Dead people don't get saved. But in God's amazing mercy and kindness towards cold, dead sinners, he awakens us to the truths of the gospel and leads us to everlasting life.

But as wonderful as this salvation is, is there more? Can there be?

Yes, God justifies us (makes us right before him by Christ's righteousness), thus securing our salvation from eternal condemnation. But he also does something else.

He adopts us.

Adoption is a really popular phrase right now. Many churches are creating adoption programs that encourage an adoption-friendly culture in their churches, while also proclaiming the fact that this pictures our adoption by God our Father. This is a good thing.

When God saves us, he doesn't just cleanse us. He makes us a member of his family. Christ's atoning work on the cross secured our redemption and our inheritance. We are now co-heirs with Jesus Christ. That just floors me.

I just finished reading J.I. Packer's book Knowing God and it really encouraged me. I've heard people say that it's one of the great Christian books and that it should be read every year. I totally agree. In the book, he has a chapter called "Sons of God," where he basically unpacks the doctrine of adoption. I have heard sermons on adoption and read books on adoption over the years, but nothing solidified this reality for me like this chapter.

He begins (coming off of a chapter that talked about the heart of the gospel) stating that the definition of a Christian is one who has God has his father (200). As Christians, we now belong to a family. And our father is God.

Packer says:

"Adoption is a family idea, conceived in terms of love, and viewing God as
father. In adoption, God takes us into his family and fellowship - he
establishes us as his children and heirs. Closeness, affection and generosity
are at the heart of the relationship. To be right with God the Judge is a great
thing, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is a greater
(207)."

When we pray to God we are no longer praying to God our Judge. No, we are now praying to God our Father. We have assurance that our perfect, loving Heavenly Father hears our prayers and delights to answer them for our good. Understanding our adoption into God's family opens our eyes to understand the bounty of love and compassion our Father has for us, his children.

One more helpful thing on our adoption. Packer goes on to say that sometimes having God as our Father means he chisels us to fit us for the greater glory that is to come. This is always evidence of his great love for us. I found this particularly helpful the day I read it.

"In this world, royal children have to undergo extra training and discipline which other children escape, in order to fit them for their high destiny. It is the same with the children of the King of kings. The clue to understanding all his dealings with them is to remember that throughout our lives he is training them for what awaits them, and chiseling them into the image of Christ. Sometimes the chiseling process is painful and the discipline irksome; but then the Scripture reminds us: 'The Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline. God is treating you as sons...No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it' (Heb. 12:6-7;11).

May we all marvel at the fact that we have not been left as orphans, but been made alive by Christ and made sons and daughters of God.

God's Sovereignty at 35,000 Feet

2011-08-11T13:03:00.003-04:00

Those who are close to me know that I hate to fly. And when I have a trip coming up that involves flying even the stranger on the street knows I hate to fly. I suppose it's some crazy way of coping with the fear, but when I have to fly every conversation leading up to the flight entails my deathly fear of the coming trip. The conversation usually goes like this:

Nice Person: “That’s so exciting that you get to go visit your family.”

Me: “Yes it is, but I hate to fly.”

Nice Person: “You know you are more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash.”

Me: “Yes I do, but I still hate to fly. I don’t want to be the statistic that doesn’t make it.”

Awkward. Actually it’s just plain ridiculous.

A few weeks ago I flew to visit my parents in Florida. It was a short, last minute trip, and while I was looking forward to seeing my family, I was not looking forward to the flight by myself. I've made numerous flights by myself in the last few years. The week leading up to every flight is always a battle with my fears. I talk about it. I over analyze it. I think of a variety of scenarios which only lead to more fears. My very active imagination runs wild in these moments. This time was no different. But this time something else happened. I was deeply convicted of my sin.

Yes. My sinful fear of flying.

Many of us face fear in a variety of ways (and I have written about that before on the blog). But while there are things to genuinely be afraid of, not every response to fear is appropriate. In my case, I was responding to my fear of flying with anxiety and worry. I believed my fears rather than God.

Our fears will drive us to something. The real test is if they drive us to the only one who can conquer our fears and provide the hope and security we long for. Fear should force us to cry out to God. Fear should drive us to the Bible. Fear should drive us to the Cross. I was convicted because for so long I have allowed my fear of flying (and a host of other things) drive me to my thoughts and my imagination rather than my Savior.

Dr. Stuart Scott, in his little booklet called Anger, Anxiety and Fear, has this to say about our fears:

“The more a person acts on his fears instead of going against them or pushing through them, the more afraid he will become. We must be willing to endure fear if we have to in order to obey God, to be responsible, and to love others (2 Tim. 2:3-4, 1 Peter 4:1).”

That is what I was doing. I was acting on my fears. They ruled my life, so much so that I started believing the anxious thoughts that consumed my thinking. This had tremendous implications for how I related to those around me. Anxiety and fear are self-focused by their very nature. My fear of flying was all I thought about whenever I had to fly. Those days leading up to my trip were all about me and my seemingly insurmountable fears. This self-absorption is the antithesis of what God calls me to as a follower of Christ.

So what happened when I flew a few weeks ago? I was still afraid to fly, but it was different this time. I wasn’t convinced the plane was going to crash. I didn’t tearfully say goodbye to my husband thinking it was the last time I would see him on this earth (yes, I’m a little dramatic). I didn’t close my eyes and nervously chant prayers while the plane took off. Sure, I was afraid, and I really don’t think I will ever get to the point where flying is my favorite thing. But I did have a trust that God would take care of me. He is just as much in control of a little plane in the sky as he is over everything else in this world that he has created. The most dangerous aspect of my anxiety over flying is that it takes me away from believing in my sovereign God. It’s a slippery slope to a whole host of other areas of unbelief.

All of the references to fear in the Bible are reminders that God cares about our fears. He wants our fears to be rightly directed towards him. This is our hope when our fears threaten to overtake us.

Because we live in a fallen world fear is inevitable. The sad reality is that planes do crash. Bad things happen to people all of the time, and many times to Christians. Until Jesus comes back we will face a constant struggle to not “fear anything that is frightening”, and steadily look to the one who is worthy of the right kind of fear. He holds our lives in his hands. He knows the outcome of every fearful circumstance we face, whether real or imagined, and he promises to keep us to the end.

Missions Wednesday: Famine in Africa

2011-08-10T12:42:00.003-04:00

Last week I wrote about the current famine in the Horn of Africa. It's really consumed a lot of my thinking as reports continue to come out of this drought and famine ravaged region, like the fact that 29,000 children have died from hunger in the past 90 days (as of August 4). The news reports show desperate mothers and fathers carrying weary children hoping that their long travel will mean aid for their families. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

It's hard to fathom what a shortage of food would look like here in America. I have a full pantry, full freezer, and the means to go and buy whatever I want if I'm hungry. In fact, I rarely think about my hunger. I just eat. I was listening to Dr. Mohler yesterday, and like so many other things, his thoughts on the famine were helpful to me. He basically said that this crisis is a man-made crisis. There are people with an abundance of relief and food waiting to provide aid to Somalia and they are blocked by the Shabab or fear of what the Shabab would do to them. Somalian people are being abandoned by their own people. And that is what makes this disaster even more devastating.

Somalia is a closed country to missionaries and one of the hardest countries to get into. Years of violence and oppression have made it so that the threat of a foreigner being killed is real and enough to scare many away. And now Somalia (and many other surrounding countries) are virtually forced to open their borders to allow aid in. Only time will tell if they do. Already the Shabab have released Mogadishu to the Somalian government. This is a start. As Christians who believe our Bibles we know that God has used famines to preserve a people for himself and to save those who do not yet know him (Gen. 41-43; Ruth 1). He loves the nations and desires even Somalians to fall on their faces in worship of him. May it be so for many of them, and may God use this bitter and desperate circumstance of famine to bring many Somalians to the foot of the cross.

Tim Keller on Suffering

2011-08-08T17:06:00.002-04:00

Daniel has been reading The Kings Cross by Tim Keller and for the last couple of weeks has been reading portions of it to me at dinner. It has blessed me immensely. So on this Monday I would like to share a little of this blessing with you. I pray it encourages your soul like it did mine.

"And when you suffer, you may be completely in the dark about the reason for your own suffering. It may seem as senseless to you as Jesus's suffering seemed to the disciples. But the cross tells you what the reason isn't. It can't be that God doesn't love you; it can't be that he has no plan for you. It can't be that he has abandoned you. Jesus was abandoned, and paid for our sins, so that God the Father would never abandon you. The cross proves that he loves you and understands what it means to suffer. It also demonstrates that God can be working in your life even when it seems like there is no rhyme or reason to what is happening."

Praise God that our suffering in this life is not evidence of his lack of love for us. How comforting to the one who can't see through the dark clouds of suffering or sorrow. If you are his child, he loves you and is working a thousand things in your circumstance that you might not see right now. Sometimes he gives us little glimpses of what he is doing in our suffering, sometimes he doesn't. But one day it will all be brought into the light. And for that day we wait.

"On the Day of the Lord - the day that God makes everything right, the day that everything sad comes untrue - on that day the same thing will happen to your hurts and sadness. You will find that the worst things that have ever happened to you will in the end only enhance your eternal delight. On that day, all of it will be turned inside out and you will know joy beyond the walls of the world. The joy of your glory will be that much greater for every scar you bear."

Desperate People Pray

2011-08-04T17:51:00.002-04:00

I’ve always been a little envious of people who pray well. You know who they are, the ones who genuinely seem to seek the face of God when they pray. They don’t get distracted, or fall asleep, when praying. They want to pray, and often come out of praying feeling energized and alive. Usually I hear them talk about joy in praying and feel like the kid who wasn’t invited to the party. Like there is something really important I’m missing. I have always known that prayer is how I talk to God, and that God wants me to pray to him, but I haven’t always felt like it’s the spiritual discipline that gives me the greatest spiritual high. And I always wondered why.

Jesus says: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:18).

Other translations say “all who are weary and burdened.” Either way, the point here is that desperate people come to Jesus. The well-rested, unburdened person feels no need to come and find rest in the shelter of Jesus. They don’t need to drink of his sustaining grace for their journey. They don’t need to seek him. But weary people, they are desperate, hard-pressed, and seeking help. How do they find such help?

Through prayer.

For the last three years I have asked God to give me a desire to pray. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to my heavenly Father, or that I haven’t had requests for him. It’s just my prayer life has often been a roller coaster experience. Some days are high. Some days are low.

And then last August something happened. I had only known of my pregnancy for a few weeks, but I suddenly knew something was not right. Within a few days of those feelings I lost our baby. In those 72 hours I prayed like I have never prayed. I cried out to God asking him to spare our child. I begged him for a heartbeat. I was desperate. While he didn’t answer my prayer in the way I had hoped, he did teach me about my overwhelming need for him. No amount of my attempts at control could save our baby. It had to be a work of God and I knew that. It made me pray. And when we lost the baby it made me pray even more that he would sustain me in my grief.

In the twelve months since our loss we have faced continued struggles with infertility that have caused me to feel even more desperate at times. I can’t make my body work right any more than I could save my baby. But God can and he is where I look in my times of hopelessness. I’m weary. I’m heavy laden. By God’s grace I have a resting place and hope in my circumstance. His name is Jesus.

When I’ve asked God to give me a desire for prayer over these years I never expected it to be in such a needy way. But isn’t that evidence of his great love for me? I believe so. By taking me through this valley God has caused me to lean on him in ways I never would have had my life turned out differently. It’s the lean times that make us turn to him. It’s there where we are stripped of all the things that hinder us from coming to God. Yes, it makes us weary. Yes, it is not our first choice. But often it is here, while we are carrying a great burden, that we learn to pray.

Missions Wednesday: Pray for the Horn of Africa

2011-08-03T14:19:00.002-04:00

More than 11 million people in the Horn of Africa are currently threatened by the most severe drought and famine in decades. In southern Somalia famine has already been declared and is feared to spread to other nearby countries (like Ethiopia and Kenya) who are already affected. While much of America is focused on our debt crisis, millions of vulnerable people, largely women and children, are facing death from malnourishment and disease. Many Somalian women have walked long miles into Kenya, desperate for refugee camps to provide shelter and aid for them and their children, if they can even get into these camps.

How you can help:

Donate to Christ-centered organizations that will provide physical and spiritual food to those suffering.

Pray that aid would be allowed into some of the hard hit areas.

Pray that God would soften the hearts of those in the countries surrounding Somalia to open their borders and provide shelter.

What Jesus Does for Women

2011-08-02T20:56:00.006-04:00

Often when someone is arguing for the ordination of women he or she will turn to Jesus as the model for how women are to be viewed in today’s society. They see the number of women who were mentioned as followers of him, or even the fact that he included women at all, as biblical evidence for no gender distinctions for clergy. And if we believe that our Bible is true (and I do), we can’t deny the fact that women were the first witnesses to his resurrection (Matt. 28:1-10; Mark 16:1-8; Luke 24:1-12; John 20:1-18). All of the Gospels talk about the women who were around Jesus, but Luke includes more accounts of women than any of the other Gospels. But does Jesus’ seeming endorsement of women present a clear directive for our churches today?

Yes and no.

Jesus healed women. Jesus engaged women in conversation. Jesus taught women. Jesus was served by women. Women were the first witnesses to his resurrection and given the directive to go and tell his disciples that he had risen. And while some would see Jesus’ interaction with women as a stamp of approval on the ordination of women today, I think there is something far deeper happening here.

In Galatians 3:28 Paul says:

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Some have said that Paul, similar to Jesus with women, is saying that gender is no longer a barrier to giftedness or service in the church. For them, Paul is saying that gender is not the defining identity of your life, Christ is. This identity now frees you to minister and serve according to your gifting. But rather than establishing a new order for the way God created gender, or eradicating gender distinctions, Paul is showing us that Christ’s salvation is for all people—regardless of gender or ethnicity. Paul is simply building on the foundation laid by Jesus when he welcomed sinners, prostitutes, women, diseased, Gentile, and broken people to come and drink from his abundant streams of mercy.

In addition, Jesus’ treatment of women wasn’t implying that gender is not important, women should be pastors, or that either gender is superior to the other. But he was doing something profound for women (and for men). Mark Dever says that part of Jesus’ “manliness” was expressed in his concern for the vulnerable, namely women and children (The Message of the New Testament: Promises Kept, 88). In his day women were viewed as less than men. Women did not have a voice in many things. A woman’s testimony was not as strong as a man’s. But Luke’s Gospel gives attention to Jesus’ great concern for women and their plight. This is a profound statement considering the culture he was writing to.

Jesus’ dealing with women was radical in his day, but not in the way we so often think. His care for women was radical not because it was so new, but because it was so old. Jesus went to women with a Father-like heart that viewed them as bearers of the divine image. And we could expect no less from our Sovereign King because he was there when they (and we) were formed (Jer. 1:5; Ps. 139). Jesus was doing far more for women in his life on this earth than simply opening up new ministry opportunities. If Jesus wanted to change a structure he instituted in the Garden he would have told us. But he didn’t. Instead he did something greater. His life, death, and resurrection restored what was lost in gender, families, relationships, and more importantly, in our own souls.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made in a Fallen World

2011-07-29T09:40:00.005-04:00

The last two weeks have been pretty busy for us around here. Between travel for Daniel's job, my trip to Florida to see my parents, the church plant, and various writing projects I have had little time to think about this blog, which makes me sad. But I have been writing even if it isn't appearing here. That will change once August rolls around. In the meantime here is a link to something I wrote for The Gospel Coalition. Earlier this week they published an article I wrote on Psalm 139. The idea for the article was born out of multiple conversations Daniel and I have had about understanding the physical brokenness of our bodies (infertility) in light of the great truth that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" by our Creator.

Here is an excerpt:

"This passage reveals great truths about God’s sovereignty over life in its earliest stages. God is the author of all life. How glorious that a holy God would be so intimately involved in our lives! But what if you don’t feel like you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”? What if your body is ravaged by cancer, plagued by infertility or frequent pregnancy loss, or succumbing to an incurable illness? What if your child’s development is slowed or disabled by autism or Down’s syndrome? While we cling to the fact that God is the creator of life, not every life comes out physically perfect. Can we trust that Psalm 139 includes these people, too?"

Reconciling God's sovereignty over my creation with my physical limitations with conception has been a wrestling match this past year. But God has not left me to myself. He has brought me to his word and made me think hard about who he is, and who I am in light of his greatness. This article is what has been born out of that, but adapted for a more broad application of physical brokenness. There is a future for all of us broken people (and all of us are broken in some way). The future in this life might not look like we want it to, but the future in the next will be far more glorious and perfect than we could ever imagine. That is what we hope for as we walk walk through this life.

Give Them Grace: A Book Review

2011-07-21T15:02:00.003-04:00

I have not had the privilege of parenting children yet, but I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family who walk through task of parenting on a daily basis. One of the things I hear the most is that parenting is hard work. It takes a lot of grace and a lot of prayer. And more than anything else it takes a daily dependence on Jesus Christ. As a pastor's wife I'm sure there will come times when I am asked for resources on parenting biblically. There is a lot of good stuff out there, but there is also a lot of bad stuff. That's why I'm thankful for Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. This mother/daughter team recently authored the book Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids With the Love of Jesus. I was asked to review it for Her.meneutics (the Christianity Today blog for women) and the review was posted yesterday. I loved the book. Even though it's not applicable to me directly right now, it helped me understand my own sinfulness and greater need for Jesus, which I'm so thankful for.

So if you are a parent, soon-to-be-parent, longing-to-be-parent, or just a friend to a parent, I encourage you to read the review, and even better, read the book! It will serve your soul.

The review can be found here.

Writing is an Exercise in Humility

2011-07-19T20:10:00.003-04:00

For my senior writing project in college all of the writing majors were assigned small groups that would meet every other week for intensive peer critiques of our final project. We would meet at a local coffee and bagel shop by school, only critique with pens that were in "non-threatening" colors, and pour over the work our fellow students presented us. The content of these bi-weekly meetings was nothing new considering that for the duration of our time in the program our writing assignments were continually subjected to multiple revisions. I learned a lot of things in those years but the one that has really taken shape in my life since college is that a writer's work is never complete.

Going into my classes I thought very differently. And I honestly don't think I grasped this concept until recently. Like so many young adults I thought my writing was unique, compelling, and pretty much perfect. All it took was a freshman composition professor telling me I was a good writer and I knew it that I was destined for greatness.

Ten years, and quite a few humbling experiences later, and I think differently. I still love writing. I still feel that God has given me a mind that best understands him when I write about it. But I've learned that writing is hard work. It doesn't come easy. It's a discipline. And it should make me humble.

You might wonder how writing is an exercise in humility when so much of writing is for public consumption. How can it be humble to have your work out there for all to see? I'm not saying I'm a humble person, or that writers are humble people. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that is often very far from the truth. But the truth is that to be a good writer, to really grow in your craft, requires hard work and a lot of outside input. What I didn't understand in all of those writing groups in college is that they were designed to make me better, but they were also designed to show me that I'm really not that great. There will always be a better writer. There will always be something I can change, clarify, or even write better. Good writing should never be done in isolation. Anyone can think they are the next John Piper if they edit their own stuff. What is the real test is if we submit ourselves to editors (whether they are friends or online magazine editors) and take their feedback and seek to grow from it. Editors exist to make our work better, serve people, and help us clarify our thoughts. They also exist to help us think of ourselves rightly, as broken people writing to broken people (Romans 12:3).

I wish I had seen the pride in my life back in college that kept me from really embracing criticism of my writing. I didn't like to be picked apart and pushed in my writing. I thought I had it all together, clinging to the words of that first-year comp teacher. To my shame I wasted a lot of helpful feedback at the altar of my own glory. I'm not going to say that I now have it all together and like to hear critiques of my writing. I don't. But as I write more, and am exposed to more editors, I'm thankful for the help. If anything it's an exercise in humbling myself before God, recognizing that he alone gives gifts and takes them away.

Chick-Flicks and a Dissatisfied Heart

2011-07-18T17:09:00.001-04:00

The images flashing across the screen were all too familiar. I knew I had witnessed this very scene before, but with different characters and a different setting. Yet I sat mesmerized.

I was watching a chick-flick.

The female character is stuck in a dead-end relationship with a guy who won’t commit. She travels across the world to keep said guy, who always seems so aloof to her needs and wants. Then she meets a dashing, handsome, sensitive man who she bickers with at first, but eventually falls madly in love with because he understands her every need, unlike aloof boyfriend. And then comes the moment of truth. Should she stay with Mr. Non-Committal or marry Mr. Wonderful? After much agonizing, Mr. Wonderful wins and they live happily ever after in either marital or non-marital bliss. Regardless of their marital status, they are together and the movie patrons are pleased, including me.

Now I’m not going to lie. I enjoy a good romantic comedy. I also like a good ending, preferably one where everyone I like ends up happy and married. But have you ever noticed what the constant up and down of a whirlwind movie romance does to your own understanding of romance? Maybe it’s just me, but I find myself slowly thinking that being understood fully by a man who sees my needs before they are even realized is the way to go. Who wouldn’t want that? The Bible tells husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, so I should expect nothing less, right? Sure, as long as he can expect that I will always submit to him and respect him with a happy heart. A steady, unregulated, diet of romantic comedies can make me slowly dissatisfied with covenant-keeping love with my husband. The characters in romantic comedies tell me that my needs are ultimate. They tell me that relationships can be ended at anytime, especially when someone better comes along. They tell me a lie.

The danger with romantic movies, like so many others have said, is that if we are not careful we can begin to see the casual nature of a relationship as the norm. Very rarely do movies present strong, covenantal, life-long love as the relationship worth finding. It’s not exactly a box-office selling point. Marriage has been so squandered by those inside and outside of the church that our culture doesn’t see it as anything special anymore. But God, the creator of the universe, sees it as infinitely special not because we do it right all of the time, but because it points to something far more glorious—our Christ and his Bride, the Church. If we really grasped the wonder of this mystery we wouldn’t want to settle for anything less in our own marriages and in the ones portrayed on our television screens.

My heart is corrupt. And so is yours. Regular consumption of media that lies about God’s design for our lives can have disastrous effects on our souls, if we are not careful. Does it mean we never consume secular media? Of course not. But it does mean that we have a sober understanding of the fact that there is a Devil out there seeking to devour our understanding of marriage because he hates the image it represents—Jesus Christ.

Friday is for Food: Grilled Baby Back Ribs

2011-07-15T12:37:00.004-04:00

I've never made ribs before, so I was really nervous to try them. But my husband loves ribs. So when I found them on sale at the store I snatched them up and decided to put my fears to rest. How hard can it be? Well, not too hard at all actually. We are house/dog sitting this week and the house we are staying in has a grill. This is a very welcome treat for little apartment dwellers like us. So I saved the ribs for this week. I looked around on the internet and in my cookbooks for the different ways ribs can be made. After gathering some information I decided to be brave and create my own recipe taking a little bit from each recipe I read. And much to my surprise it actually turned out pretty well. So for all you ribs lovers out there, this one's for you.

Grilled Baby Back Ribs

What you need:

-2 tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce
-1/2 cup of brown sugar (add a little more for consistency if needed)
-1/4 cup of ketchup
-Dash of red wine vinegar
-2 tablespoons of steaksauce
-1 tablespoon of liquid smoke
-dash of paprika and cayenne pepper
-Full rack of baby back ribs

How It's Made:

-Preheat oven to 350 degrees
-In a small bowl mix all of the sauce ingredients together. Add more brown sugar if the sauce is too runny.
-Cut ribs in half (along the bone) and lay meaty side up in a 9x13 pan
-Pour 3/4 of the sauce over the ribs. Flip the ribs over and cover the pan with aluminum foil.
-Bake for 1 hour
-Preheat outdoor grill to and set at medium-high heat
-Remove cooked ribs from the oven (the meat should be pulling away from the bone) and place on the grill.
-Cook for 10-15 minutes, adding the remaining sauce at the end.

Happy Friday!

Psalm 1 and the Righteous One

2011-07-14T13:17:00.003-04:00

Daniel and I have been traveling for the last few days, so that is why there has been so much silence on the blog. July has turned into a crazy month for us, which has been good but not allowed as much time to write for the blog. But Psalm 1 has been lingering in my mind over the last few days. The first time I ever heard D.A. Carson preach was in chapel at college. I didn't know that much about him, but everyone said it was a big deal that he was there to preach so I listened a little more intently that day. I wish I could say that it changed my life and I remember every word he said. Sadly, I don't remember much from that day. But I do remember one thing clearly. He preached from Psalm 1 and I learned that Psalm 1 is about Christ. For a new believer wrestling through how to interpret the Bible it stuck with me.

Psalm 1 says:

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

Countless passages in Psalms, Proverbs, and others present the prosperity of the righteous in contrast to the demise of the wicked. One could infer that if you could just be righteous you would be set. God would look on you with favor. But if you are like me, there is always that little voice in your head that reminds you of all the ways you are not like the righteous one in this passage. And then you read Romans 3 or Psalm 14 and see that no one is righteous in God's eyes. So how do we reconcile the perceived promises for the righteous in Psalm 1 in light of what the Bible, and our own conscience, says about our condition before God?

Let's consider what the Old Testament says about our condition and need for righteousness. The major prophets (Isaiah and Jeremiah) talk repeatedly about a Righteous Branch, one who will execute justice and righteousness for God's people. In Isaiah 11 the Righteous Branch is shown to bear fruit. In Isaiah 60 we see that righteousness and prosperity (and judgment) are all of God. In Jeremiah 23 and 33 the Righteous Branch saves his people. The Old Testament is preparing us for the reign of this Righteous Branch. His name is Jesus. He is the one who executes righteousness and justice. He is the only one who can be called righteous by a holy and perfect God.

Psalm 1 says that we can be blessed if we are righteous. And this is true. But we are not righteous. And we cannot be righteous by simply getting our act together. Our righteousness is determined by another. When we cling to him and his perfect action on our behalf, atonement for our sins, we get all of the benefits of his righteousness. We get to drink from the flowing streams of God's goodness because Jesus perfectly obeyed and cleanses us from all unrighteousness.

So the next time you hear that little voice condemning your unrighteousness when you read these passages take heart, dear Christian. While the little voice is right in declaring us unrighteous there is a way to be righteous and his name is Jesus.

Friday is for Fotos: Our Humble Abode

2011-07-08T12:36:00.009-04:00

We have now been living in Little Rock for almost 2 months. It's hard to believe that two months have passed since we made the trek south. It's the middle of summer here and every day is at least 95 degrees. The humidity rises significantly by evening, so if you step outside for anything you are covered with a blanket of oppressive heat. It's the summer and it's glorious. I've never been more thankful for air conditioning and fans than I have been in recent days. Since we are now settled into our little apartment I figured it was time to put some pictures up here on the blog. We downsized tremendously to save some money, so half of our stuff is in storage right now. But it works and we really like our complex. I know I have some friends and family from far away who are wanting to see where we live. So here you go!

A typical day in our house. Daniel works from home so this is one of his "offices".

Our closet is huge! It's hard to really convey the vastness of the closet in a picture. But trust me. It's big.

You can't see it from this angle, but Daniel's other "office" is in our bedroom. Our bedroom is so big we could fit his desk in there.

The kitchen.

I Don't Belong at Walmart: Thoughts on the Baby Aisle

2011-07-05T19:15:00.003-04:00

Nearly every week I make a trip to Walmart. While I’m usually there to buy food to feed my little family of two, as my husband can attest, I often find myself meandering about the store. Sure I only need some bread, but a detour through the home goods section never hurt anyone, right? Every once in a while I find myself wandering through a more painful section of Walmart. The baby aisle. Call it wishful thinking, but I sometimes feel drawn to all the little outfits, furniture, and products that are designed for that little bundle of joy. Sometimes it makes me hopeful. Hopeful that one day I will have a reason to step foot in the baby section of a store without someone else’s baby registry in hand. But sometimes it just makes me ache when I see the large bold letters “Baby” across the center aisle. “That’s not for me,” I think to myself. Bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom accessories? Yes. Baby section? Not me. I don’t belong there.

Maybe you can relate. Perhaps your only child is in heaven, too, and seeing all of the baby clothes at the store just brings to mind too many thoughts of what could have been. Or maybe you are struggling through infertility, and the baby section is another reminder of dashed hopes every month. I can relate.

So what’s a girl to do? I can’t avoid Walmart, Target, and every store that sells baby things. I have been particularly blessed by a post Molly Piper wrote last year about feeling like she didn’t belong in the little girl section of the store. In it she says,

“Grief is not just for grieving places, like the cemetery. It happens in other stranger places–you know, places like Kohl’s.”

For the most part I feel pretty good about my weekly trips to Walmart. But there are some days where it just hits me like a never-ending freight train, and I feel overwhelmed with sadness that I don’t belong in the baby section, even though every part of me hoped and thought I would this summer. I might not belong in the baby section, but as Molly says in her post, I do belong somewhere much more comforting—at the foot of the cross. She goes on to say:

“But Jesus doesn’t turn away the grievers. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” I am called blessed. And I’m promised His comfort.

This is blessed assurance. It’s like a great big sign at the foot of the Cross that says:

“You Belong Here.”

The Bible doesn’t tell us that we won’t grieve, or even that our grief will end at a given point. But the Bible does promise us a refuge when the grief comes. His name is Jesus. So the next time I find myself longingly wandering through the baby section on my way to find a surge protector for our bedroom, I can trust that while I don’t “belong” in the baby section, I do belong with the Savior.

Friday is for Food: Chicken and Tomato Alfredo

2011-07-01T17:18:00.002-04:00

Word of caution: if you are looking for a meal that is low fat/low calorie, this is not the meal for you. But if you want a little guilty pleasure of yummy goodness, this is definitely the meal for you! Anyway, I made this meal for dinner on Wednesday and we loved it. The meal comes from the Better Homes & Gardens Bridal Edition Cookbook. I made some variations and I'm glad I did.

So here goes...

What you need:
-8 ounces dried fettuccine
-2 tablespoons butter
-1 cup whipping cream
-1/2 teaspoon of salt (I used Kosher salt)
-1/8 teaspoon black pepper
-1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
-1 cooked chicken breast (I grilled ours on an indoor grill)
-1 can of fire roasted tomatoes (the recipe calls for dried tomatoes in oil, but it was way more expensive than the can of tomatoes)
-1 small container of fresh mushrooms, sliced and sauteed (we just had these in the fridge, so I thought it would add some flavor)

How to make it:
-Grill chicken on an indoor or outdoor grill, cut into small pieces, set aside
-Cook pasta according to package instructions
-In a large saucepan melt butter
-Add cream, salt, pepper. Bring to boiling and reduce heat. Boil gently for 3-5 minutes or until mixture begins to thicken
-Add tomatoes, mushrooms, and chicken to the sauce
-Add drained pasta to the sauce and toss to combine

Serve immediately and enjoy creamy, buttery goodness!

The Wise and the Fool

2011-06-30T14:11:00.003-04:00

“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man holds quietly back.” –Proverbs 29:11

Most of my life I would have been characterized as the fool in Proverbs. Some people are naturally more quiet and reserved. That is not me by any stretch of the imagination. I have been known to give full vent to my anger on a number of occasions. I can be harsh. I can be mean. And I can destroy with my words. My tongue has been my downfall and is still a constant struggle. I would imagine that many probably see themselves in this passage.

Often when we talk about controlling the tongue it comes across as a flippant imperative. Just stop it. Just learn how to not be angry and stop having outbursts. It sounds so simple, right? Anyone who has struggled with anger and their words will know that this is impossible. You spend the morning memorizing verses about the heart and anger only to have to apologize to a friend later in the day because of a harsh word spoken. But there is something more going on in this proverb than simply learning how to not be angry. In fact, the writer assumes that anger is going to be felt. The real challenge is in our response.

It’s not that the wise man has somehow learned how to feel less angry, as if wisdom means numbness to all emotion. Rather, the wise man “quietly holds back.” Wisdom is embodied here as self-control. But what the writer is getting at is that the fool and the wise feel the same indignation, yet one has learned the way of holding back. We are emotional beings and we get angry. God knows that and he has given us these emotions. Wisdom is not a character trait. It is a product of the fruit of the Spirit.

So how do we learn to be like the wise man who “quietly holds back” when he is angry?

First, there is a time to speak and a time to be quiet. Notice how the fool is one who gives “full vent to his spirit”. I don’t think he is saying that wisdom implies never speaking. It’s about discerning the right time to speak. There are occasions that require a clear, decisive voice and others that do not. To learn wisdom is to learn how to discern these moments.

Second, and most importantly, it means clinging to the only wise One. Not only is he the perfect example of what it means to quietly hold back when appropriate, he is wisdom. We aren’t wise and self-controlled because we learn techniques for dealing with anger or handling our emotions. No, we are wise because Jesus is our righteousness, Jesus is our hope, and Jesus is our wisdom. We can hold back from giving into every impulse and feeling because Jesus held back perfectly on our behalf. Even more than that, when we fail and behave like the fool we have a perfect advocate before the Father. Our seemingly righteous acts of wisdom are like filthy rags before him. We never do it perfectly, but Jesus did. What glorious hope for us!

So if you are like me, struggling through this life failing in living the way of the wise more often than you want, take heart, dear Christian. Jesus is wisdom. Jesus did it perfectly so you could be cleansed from every full vent of anger done yesterday, today, and in the future. Trust in him and lean hard into him, the truly wise Savior.

Missions Wednesday: Argentina

2011-06-29T12:58:00.007-04:00

I have a horrible confession to make. Growing up I thought that all countries south of the United States were the same. So if someone said that people were Mexican I assumed that meant South Americans too. By God's grace I have since realized the error of my ignorant ways. So doing these missions focused posts is as much an exercise in my own understanding of other cultures as it is for my greater blog audience.

Argentina fascinates me. I'm not really sure why, but it does. While Argentina is a South American country, like so many countries to our south (and even our own country) many of the native peoples are no longer the majority. Native Argentinian people are the minority and 80% of the people in Argentina are actually European. The population of Argentina is over 40 million and only 9.1% are evangelical. The majority of Argentinians would call themselves Christian, but this is mainly Catholic or nominal at best. Like many large nations poverty is a tremendous problem with 13 million living in poverty and 43% of children living below the poverty line.

Ways to pray:

Pray for the one million university students. Many live in poverty. Pray that God would use their physical poverty and quest for knowledge to lead to an understanding of their spiritual poverty leading to a knowledge of Christ.

Pray for the rural areas. Many of the churches are growing in the cities, but there is a need for churches in rural parts of Argentina. Pray that churches would feel compelled to plant churches in these regions.

Pray against false teaching for the spiritually hungry. People are hungry for spiritual truth and while some are turning to Christianity, others are turning to cults and false truths. Pray that God would give the Argentinian people eyes to see the true and living God and that they would trust in Christ alone.

Sproul on God's Justice and Mercy

2011-06-20T12:41:00.003-04:00

I just started reading The Holiness of God by R.C. Sproul and it has been changing my life. Once I finish I will write more about all that I've learned, but for this Monday I want to leave you with a section that really convicted me this morning. Sproul is talking about how we grow familiar with God's mercy and therefore are surprised by his justice. When we get mercy from God we, in our sinfulness, grow to expect it. When he gives justice we cry "this is not fair," when in fact we deserve much worse. I've had to wrestle through my own sinful feelings of unfairness and thinking I deserve more than what I'm getting this past year. God has really had to purge me of a lot of wrong thinking about God's mercy towards sinners like me. This book has helped in that regard and for that I'm so thankful.

To give some background for this quote, Sproul is referring to an experiment he did with some of his students one year. After giving a couple of rounds of mercy to students who failed to turn assignments in on time, he gave a failing grade after the third assignment was not delivered on the due date. Many cried "not fair." And this is where the quote begins.

"The normal activity of God involved far more mercy than I showed those students with their term papers. Old Testament history covers hundreds of years. In that time God was repeatedly merciful. When His divine judgment fell on Nadab and Uzzah, the response was shock and outrage. We have come to expect God to be merciful. From there the next step is easy: We demand it. When it is not forthcoming, our first response is anger against God, coupled with the protest: "It isn't fair." We soon forget that with our first sin we have forfeited all rights to the gift of life. That I am drawing breath this morning is an act of divine mercy. God owes me nothing. I owe Him everything. If He allows a tower to fall on my head this afternoon, I cannot claim injustice."

He goes on to say:

"One of our basic problems is the confusion of injustice and mercy. We live in a world where injustices happen. They happen among people. Every one of us at some time has been a victim of injustice at the hands of another person. Every one of us at some time has committed an injustice against another person. People treat each other unfairly. One thing is certain: No matter how much injustice I have suffered from the hands of other people, I have never suffered the slightest injustice from the hand of God."

Praise the Lord that, in spite of our sinfulness before a holy God, we are given mercy. And praise Him for the fact that we get mercy because his Son, Jesus, took the full weight of his wrath for us. This was injustice. The perfect Son of God in place of wretched sinners. He choose injustice so we would not receive justice. How great is our salvation.

On Wrestling Well

2011-06-16T17:45:00.002-04:00

I’ve been camping out in the Psalms a lot lately. I know that I’ve said this before, but the Psalms are filled with such raw emotion. There are words for people who are joyous and words for people who are in deep despair. And they are all God’s words to his people. Last week I listened to a couple of excellent messages on our emotions and I was reminded that God did not create us to be emotionless beings. He gave us our emotions, but sin has corrupted them and therefore we must wrestle daily through our feelings—feelings that can be up one day and down the next.

This is why I love the Psalms. In the Psalms we learn how wrestle. We learn how to fight the fight of faith. We also learn about our God and his great faithfulness to us. Psalm 73 was a great help to me the other day. The context of this Psalm is the prosperity of the wicked. The psalmist says that his feet almost slipped when he saw the wicked prospering. To him it seemed that the wicked go through this life carefree. Now we know that there are many suffering pagans in this world, but isn’t it true that we can look at the seemingly fruitful lives of the unbelieving around us and feel a twinge of jealousy? I know I have. I see women with multiple children and throw a pity party for myself and my empty womb. I see people who have nice homes and I envy all their fancy things while I sit in my little one-bedroom apartment. I feel with the psalmist when he says “all in vain I have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence” (verse 12). But, like this psalmist, I need a good dose of biblical reality. And I can’t find it by sitting on my couch wallowing in self-pity. Notice where the psalmist goes from here:

“But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end” (verses 16-17).

It was only when he went into the sanctuary, God’s house, that he was able to gain a right perspective on the wicked and their seeming prosperity. It was in the fellowship of God’s people that he heard God’s word proclaimed and was able to see the future-minded actions of God. He was also able to see that his envy and pride were turning him away from God (21-22). Isn’t that how it always works? When I am by myself I can make any thought sound like the right one, but when I’m in God’s house and am penetrated by his word through preaching and fellowship my evil thoughts are brought to light. How kind of God to do that for us.

But it doesn’t end there. He realizes that God is the one who keeps him. Even when he is faithless and faltering, God upholds him and preserves his life (23-24). And for those of us who are in Christ, he does the same thing. How often have you felt the pangs of conviction over something only to be met with the sweet fellowship with God upon your repentance? He is keeping you. He is holding you up. Even when you wrestle with the circumstances of your life, he is working all of those things to bring you to himself.

All of this wrestling leads the psalmist to say one of the more famous verses of this Psalm:

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (25-26).

He didn’t get there overnight. Nor do we. These beautiful words of joy in all that God is for us do not come by the mere flip of a psychological switch. It takes wrestling. It takes living life. Sometimes it takes tears and deep anguish. The beauty of it all is not that we pick ourselves up and proclaim these truths. Rather, the most glorious thing about these verses is that God is the one who gets us to this point. Left to ourselves we will continue envying the prosperity of those around us. But God in his great mercy has made a way for us to wrestle well so we can say with the psalmist:

“But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”

And those are mighty works, indeed.

Missions Wednesday: Bolivia

2011-06-15T12:12:00.003-04:00

Bolivia is a South American country with over 10 million people. They are landlocked in between Brazil, Peru, Paraguay, Argentina, and Chile. While over 90% of the country is considered Christian, only 16% is evangelical. The instability of the Bolivian government has led them to be one of the poorest countries in the Americas. In addition, Bolivia grows 50% of the world's cocaine, only increasing the instability of the country. The children of Bolivia face the brunt of these problems. The majority of children live in poverty and many are addicted to drugs. All of these circumstances present an opportunity for the gospel of Jesus Christ to be proclaimed among the people of Bolivia.

Ways to Pray:

Pray for the evangelical Christians in Bolivia. Pray that they would teach Christ to the Bolivian people and would not shrink back from ministering to them in the name of Jesus.

Pray for the government officials. Pray that they would fight the temptation to abuse the natural resources for illegal activity, such as growing cocaine.

Pray for the children of Bolivia. Half of the population is comprised of children. Pray that God would use the heartache of extreme poverty to soften their hearts to riches of grace available to them in Christ Jesus.

Is Sexting Adultery?

2011-06-14T12:47:00.003-04:00

In the wake of the Anthony Weiner debacle the media has been asking countless questions about how we should respond to this situation, including the all important question: is sexting adultery? Sure we’ve seen the reports of the dangers of sexting among teenagers, but consenting adults brings a whole new dimension to the argument.

The Early Show on CBS, one of the many who have discussed this, facilitated a conversation on Saturday morning asking this very question. The woman interviewed said that men and women see this differently. Women tend to feel betrayed and see this behavior as adulterous, while men are less inclined to say it went that far. The man interviewed said that men don’t want monogamy, basically that men need an outlet. This can be that outlet, and in their eyes it’s not always adultery.

It’s hard to expect secular therapists to really think biblically about the whole thing. Their answers reveal their spiritual blindness. Left to themselves men don’t want monogamy. Women don’t really want it either. But left to ourselves we are no different. By God’s grace we are not left to ourselves. The natural response to the overwhelming urge to sin is to give in to the temptation. In the eyes of the world, the feeling is natural, therefore it should be acted on. Christians are not natural people. We have a new nature. We don’t have to live by our “natural” urges any longer. But I think there is something far more involved going on here than simply a question of adultery. The question actually reveals a flaw in our thinking as a culture.

Christians have an opportunity here to not only condemn the actions of Representative Weiner, and others, but also present a bold, biblical vision for marriage. When we think through the implications of a sexting scandal and whether it is adultery we must look to Jesus and his response in Matthew 5:28, where he says that “anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus sees lust (sexting and any other lust-inducing activity) as adulterous. He was turning the commandment on its head. He cares about the heart, which leads to the action.

But even more so we must go back to the start of marriage, the Garden of Eden. God created marriage: one man for one woman (Gen. 2:18, 24-25). Sin corrupted this beautiful union, but the sin is not the end of the story on marriage. He redeemed marriage, and everything else, through the blood of his son, Jesus Christ. God never intended for anyone else to be brought into the marriage covenant, whether by physical contact, emotional contact, or cyber-contact (Heb. 13:4). Why? Because marriage was not created simply for the two marriage partners, rather marriage points to something greater. When God created marriage he had something far more glorious in his mind, namely Christ and his Bride, the Church (Eph. 5:25-32). When a husband and wife join together in marriage they are telling a story about the greatest marriage of all. And Christ never lets other lovers into his marriage.

So the question of whether sexting is adultery isn’t enough. And we can’t expect CBS News, or any media pundit, to answer that question for us. As Christian we have a much greater answer than simply “yes or no”. We have a picture of the perfect marriage that sets the foundation for all other marriages. And it is this marriage that Christians must proclaim when we talk about our own marriages, and mourn the demise of marriages around us.

Studying Ephesians

2011-06-09T15:44:00.003-04:00

One of the reasons I decided to go to seminary a few years ago was because of a firm belief that women need theology and serious Bible study. I wanted to gain a solid foundation so I could teach women the Bible someday. I'm always excited when I see a new resource for women that helps them dive into God's word and equips them to study theology. That's why I was so thankful to review Wendy Horger Alsup's book, By His Wounds You are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman's Identity, for The Gospel Coalition Reviews.

If you are looking for a serious study that is geared towards women, this is for you. It would be fine for personal study or even a larger group study with women. Either way, it's a really great resource and a gift to women in the Church. Read the review for yourself, but I'm sure you will find it as helpful to you as it was to me.

Missions Wednesday: Afghanistan

2011-06-08T15:43:00.004-04:00

After a (too) long hiatus, Missions Wednesday is back! I really want to be disciplined with posting these because they are so helpful in opening my eyes to the nations. I need that. So I hope they help you as much as they help me!

We've all heard a lot about Afghanistan. I'm reading George W. Bush's book Decision Points right now, and as you can imagine, he talks a lot about Afghanistan. And while the Afghani people are not necessarily the people we are warring against personally, we still have been in combat with their country for almost a decade. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44). How much more should we pray for the ones who are blinded to the precious truths of Christ and his atoning work.

Afghanistan is 99.85% Muslim, and prior to the toppling of the Taliban, Afghani women were not allowed to go to school and were forced to hide every part of their body (including their face) with a burqa. While they enjoy greater freedom today, their freedom is still within the context of the greater Afghan culture.

Because Afghanistan has been ravaged by war for over 20 years, over 4 million children have been left orphaned by the tragedy. Afghanistan continues to be a closed country that greatly persecutes (even to the point of killing) anyone who attempts to bring Christianity into their midst.

Ways to Pray:

Pray that the freedom the women of Afghanistan have been promised will become a reality for them. Pray also that this freedom would provide them with opportunities to hear and be receptive to the gospel.

Pray that the political instability and poverty will be a means of softening the Afghani people to the gospel.

Pray for the Christians in Afghanistan. Pray that God would give them courage, protection, and resolve to proclaim Christ in a desperate situation.

Life is Not a Deadline

2011-06-07T12:41:00.003-04:00

By nature I’m not a very disciplined person. It’s taken a lot of years for me to get a system in place that works for me. After conversion, my desire for discipline grew, but it’s still something I have to work at. So I create lists. If a task is written down in front of me I will do it. And there is something so satisfying about crossing something off a list. My most recent job was very deadline driven, so I had to learn to operate on a deadline every day when I went into the office. It was good for me and I seemed to thrive in an environment that demanded daily action on my part. In my personal life I create deadlines for myself in order to complete tasks and stay disciplined. All of these efforts are good as general rules for getting things done, but what happens if my list doesn’t get done at the end of the day? Well, let’s just say in my quest to become a disciplined person my self-imposed deadlines can often make me a slave to my own ambitions.

Discipline and executing tasks with excellence are good things. Doing things well brings God glory. Keeping my word honors him. But they aren’t ultimate. In fact, they can be downright sinful if I let them take over my life.

In this particular new season of my life I’ve been given a lot more free time than I’m used to. That kind of freaks out my non-disciplined self. The thought of waking up without a task makes me twitch. I know what I’ve done with free time before and I don’t want to become an unproductive blob. So I make lists and lists and lists. And feel guilty when I don’t complete all of the tasks I’ve given myself for the day. I mean, I used to get so much more done in the office. What’s wrong with me now? I can be a ruthless boss of myself and I was trapped in this vicious mental cycle until Daniel, in his great wisdom, told me something last week that made me stop, “you don’t have to always be productive during the day. Your job is much different now.”

It was a profound moment, a sort of sweet release that living my life as a keeper of my home is not one constant deadline waiting to be met. There must be balance as I strive towards productivity and excellence. Now I firmly believe that being a keeper of my home means doing it with excellence and using the full force of my God-given skill set to make my home a haven for my husband and for ministry. But it’s a different sort of work. It isn’t always a list with countless tasks waiting to be checked off. Sometimes it’s visiting a friend in need or driving around with my husband while he makes cold-calls for his job. Sure it’s cooking, cleaning, managing our calendars, and all sorts of domestic tasks. But it’s also so much more than that. It’s about time and availability, especially taking time to stop and help my husband in whatever way he needs. For us, in this season, it’s the little things like reading and proofing letters to his potential accounts, helping him think through our church plant, and eating lunch with him.

There will come a day where the season isn’t so carefree, and that’s okay. Until then, I want to enjoy these moments and soak them in, knowing that they won't be here forever. But this struggle to find balance will always be about my heart and my constant battle with the to-do list.

Suffering Produces Faith in Future Grace

2011-06-06T12:53:00.002-04:00

"When your faith is threatened and tested and stretched to the breaking point, the result is greater capacity to endure. God loves faith in future grace so much that he will test it to the breaking point so as to keep it pure and strong."

"God so values our wholehearted faith in future grace that he will, graciously, take away everything else in the world that we might be tempted to rely on - even life itself. His aim is that we grow deeper and stronger in our confidence that he himself will be all we need. He wants us to be able to say with the psalmist, 'Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever' (Psalm 73:25-26)."

"We learn through pain that God is faithful and that our faith is real. The people who are most unwavering in their hope are those who have been tested most deeply. The people who look most earnestly and steadfastly to the hope of glory are those who have had the comforts of this life stripped away through tribulations. These are the freest of all people. Their love cannot be daunted by threats or calamities."

"Through suffering God is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond death, and he is working out his infallible purposes to gather all the elect from the nations of the world and bring in the consummation of his kingdom. The critical point is this: the suffering that seems to threaten future grace is, in reality, grace upon grace. To know this, and to see how it can be so, will help you believe that when all around your sould gives way, the Lord is all your hope and stay."

-John Piper, Future Grace, "The Future Grace of Suffering"

Oh, Lord, let this be me.

Friday is for Food: Shrimp Tacos

2011-06-03T11:06:00.004-04:00

I have only recently started making seafood related meals. For most of my life I have had an aversion to all things seafood, especially fish. Shrimp sort of freaked me out too, but I would occasionally eat them if I was forced, I mean encouraged to. Daniel really enjoys seafood and has helped me to branch out and try new things, which I have to admit has been a really good thing for me. I never realized how many things I would like. I've really been missing out!

Last week, my friend Laura told me about these shrimp tacos that she had at her sister's house. They sounded delicious, so I tried them this week. They were amazing! So if you like shrimp and Mexican food, here is a super easy and yummy recipe.

Shrimp Tacos

What you need:
-Half a bag of medium size cooked shrimp (I think if I had bought large shrimp I would need less, so it's worth a try)
-1 ripe avocado
-1 lime
-some sliced red onion or cilantro (I don't like cilantro and I had red onion, so I substituted)
-Mission Homestyle Flour Tortillas (the best!)
-1 chili in adobo sauce, chopped
-1/4 cup of sour cream

How to make:
-Thaw shrimp according to instructions, heat for a few minutes in a skillet with a little oil and juice from the lime (I also added a little Kosher salt and cajun seasoning for flavor)
-Cut up the avocado, set aside
-Cut up the chili and mix in with sour cream
-Heat tortillas in microwave until warm
-Serve shrimp, avocado, sour cream mixture, and onions in warmed tortillas
Makes 4 tacos

Enjoy!!

We had chips and queso for a side. But rice or a vegetable would work well too.

What You Can't Learn on an Island

2011-06-02T13:06:00.002-04:00

The saying “no man is an island” is cliché and overused, but the gist of it is true. God made us to be relational beings. He didn’t create us to be autonomous, self-sufficient, loners. He created us for fellowship, and togetherness. And to use another cliché, he created us for community. Not so we can tout how community focused we are, or even that we are authentic, real people. These are good things to strive for, in fact they are crucial to living life as Christians. But community and authenticity don’t exist simply to make us cool and relevant to a watching world. It’s not a program we can implement in our church hoping it will catch on and motivate our church members to want to suddenly “do life” together while they sip lattes at Starbucks. I think there is something much deeper going on here.

Titus 2:3-5 is a mantra for passing on godly womanhood to the next generation and with each passing season of my life I am reminded of why I need it so much. After going through the list of ways the older woman is supposed to train the younger, Paul ends verse 5 by saying “so the word of God may not be reviled.” That is the motivation for our discipleship. That is why we live in community with one another. The world around us wants nothing to do with Christ and his call on our lives. We are bombarded on multiple fronts with false gospels and lies about how we are supposed to live. God has provided a way for us to fight the battle within our own souls through his very word. And one of the ways his word takes root in our lives, apart from the preached word of God, is through consistent fellowship with other believers.

So if we need it so much, what does it really look like?

For a long time I thought it meant having an official mentor, someone who would meet with me regularly, teach me the Bible, and show me how to be a godly woman. I thought it was a program. And sometimes it is. But often it’s not.

Passing on the legacy of biblical womanhood takes various forms and can be applied to multiple contexts. By God’s grace he has opened my eyes to the wealth of knowledge around me in the friends I have who are even just a few years ahead of me. Sometimes discipleship looks like the spiritual mother type who invites you over to share your heart and study Proverbs 31 over coffee. But sometimes, and most of the time, it is in the little things, like visiting a godly older friend in the middle of a busy day with three little ones.

For a long time I would get really discouraged that I didn’t have a “mentor” and would search frantically to find the perfect, older woman to meet with me. Instead what I needed to understand is that I don’t need a program as much as I need to see life lived. I needed, and still need, to see godly women living what it means to love their husbands, walk through suffering, wipe snotty noses, clean again and again and again, and do it all with little fanfare or recognition—at least on this side of eternity. I need to see godly women hoping in God when everything else around them seems hopeless. I need to see stories of God’s faithfulness in the lives of my friends. And that’s why I need community. Not for community’s sake, but because I desperately need to see someone farther ahead than me show me through their life that God is not finished with me yet, and he is still working for my good. This past year has taught me that I need the body of Christ more than I ever realized. And not just in women’s programs on Saturday mornings, but in the daily realities that this Christian life is hard and we need to hold each other’s arms up in this fight of faith.

We really aren’t meant to be lone rangers, and if we stopped and thought about it we wouldn’t want that life anyway. God created us for relationships and community with each other, and ultimately with him. We need to live life with other people because God in his kindness has ordained that people are one of the ways we are more conformed into his image—in the end we are drawn closer to him.

I’m so thankful that God has placed women in my life that will walk this Christian road with me. I honestly don’t know where I would be without their persistent, gracious, care for me through the dark, and even happy, times. I’m glad I’ve been able to see the fruit born out of circumstances very similar to my own. It gives me hope. It teaches me how to pray and lean hard into the Lord. More than anything else, it shows me that Jesus is the best thing I could ever hope for. And these are things I could never learn on a lonely island.

Will You Please "Like" Our Church?

2011-05-31T18:07:00.003-04:00

We've enjoyed getting settled here in Little Rock and finally feel like we have some time to actually think, plan, and relax. After a wonderful three-day weekend, it was back to reality today and with it came a new development with our church plant...we have a Facebook page! When you are in the beginning stages all developments are a big deal.

So I humbly ask you, my faithful blog readers (and I know you are out there), to "Like" us on Facebook. Just click on this link, log-in to Facebook, and hit "Like." It's so easy and would make us very happy. If you don't have Facebook, we have a Wordpress page that talks more about who we are and what we are about (click here to get to that page). Either way, we covet your prayers as we begin this exciting and sobering journey to start Midtown Baptist Church here in Little Rock, AR.

Hope you all have a happy re-entry into the work week!

Happy Two-Year Anniversary!

2011-05-25T11:05:00.004-04:00

Wow. It's hard to believe it's been two years already. For those who have been married a long time, two years probably seems really small. And it is considering our hope that God will give us many, many years together. But for us it's just gone by so fast that it's hard to believe that two years ago I was all dressed up ready to walk down the aisle to join in marriage to my best friend.

We celebrate year number two a little differently than we did year number one. Year number one ended with a lot of anticipation and excitement. Year number two is ending with more pain and sadness, but still anticipation and excitement over a new ministry and new home. This is life together. Some years will bring great joy and happiness. Some will bring overwhelming sorrow. This is the fulfillment of the vows we made to one another two years ago today. They are still true. In fact, the are even truer today than they were then. They were hypothetical situations then. Today they are realities.

In sickness and in health,
For richer or for poorer,
Til death shall part us.

I love you, babe. I pledged you my love then and you will have it for the rest of our lives.

(The above picture was taken at my parents house this past Christmas. We are so in love.)

Count It All Future Joy

2011-05-24T11:02:00.002-04:00

I’ve thought a lot about the experience of suffering and the Bible’s response to our suffering this past year. Before our miscarriage and infertility I quickly passed over passages on suffering, not because I didn’t see them as important, but I just didn’t relate to them. I had faced trials before, but nothing that really made me wrestle with God’s good plan for my life in the way I have recently. I don’t doubt his goodness; I just need to understand it more than ever before. While difficult, that is a good result of our suffering. It causes us to lean hard into him and desperately seek his face because without his presence in our lives we are hopeless.

Often when we are counseling suffering people there are a few key verses that quickly come to mind, and one of them is James 1:2-4. We want the hurting person to get to counting the trial as joy as fast as possible. We want them to see that God has a plan for them and be happy with it. But I’m not sure that’s where James is ultimately going with his exhortation to “count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” James isn’t talking about happiness here. His reference to joy is not some triumphalistic, plastered smile, everything-is-going-to-be-alright attitude. That’s not joy. Rather, it’s a confident hope in God’s good plan for me even when my heart is breaking or my world is falling apart.

How do I know this? Consider Jesus, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). The expectation of the agony of the cross was not a happy thought. It made him sweat profusely, like drops of blood (Luke 22:44). But it was the “joy set before him” How? The future joy of what his death on the cross accomplished. He is now seated at the right hand of the Father, having completed the work of redemption. That was the joy. The event wasn’t the joy. The finished work was his joy.

That is our hope to count trials as joy. Not that losing a child is a joy, or another negative pregnancy test is a joy, or unemployment is a joy, or a neglectful, abusive spouse is a joy, or a prodigal child is a joy. No, these are not joys. These are sufferings that rip the wind out of our sails. Joy for the Christian is future minded. It realizes that perfection, and the ultimate fulfillment of our joy, doesn’t always come until the end when we see the Perfect One who makes our joy complete.

Like Jesus, our hope in the agony of our trials is rooted in a deep theology of who God is and his goodness in all things. His plan is perfect, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.

But James doesn’t end there. He gives even more encouragement for the struggling believer in verses 5-8:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

When we are struggling to see the future joy of our trial, we need wisdom. We need wisdom and faith to believe God’s promises for us. James gives us a way of escape. We can cry out to God when we feel tempted to doubt his goodness and he will act. He is always wise and always good and will give us the grace we need to endure trials. If we don’t, then we are unstable and unable to see his grace in our lives. These verses are there for the believer who is tempted to doubt God’s goodness in their trial. They are there for you and me, reminding us that we serve a God who hears and acts on our behalf.

I don’t pass over passages on suffering anymore. In fact, I cling to them now. I don’t always feel like my trials will one day produce a future joy. Honestly, a lot of the time I buck against that. But I want to trust more and have eyes to see God’s perfect plan for me for eternity. May God make us all more like our Christ, who endured the agony of the cross for us knowing that a future joy was coming—one that would make the present reality of suffering fade away in light of his glory.

Piper on Romans 8:28

2011-05-23T16:15:00.003-04:00

"If you live inside this massive promise [Romans 8:28], your life is more solid and stable than Mount Everest. Nothing can blow you over when you are inside the walls of Romans 8:28. Outside Romans 8:28 all is confusion and anxiety and fear and uncertainty. Outside the promise of all-encompassing future grace there are straw houses of drugs and alcohol and numbing TV and dozens of futile diversions. There are slat walls and tin roofs of fragile investment strategies and fleeting insurance coverage and trivial retirement plans. There are cardboard fortifications of deadbolt locks and alarm systems and antiballistic missiles. Outside are a thousand substitutes for Romans 8:28.

Once you walk through the door of love into the massive, unshakable structure of Romans 8:28 everything changes. There come into your life stability and depth and freedom. You simply can't be blown over any more. The confidence that a sovereign God governs for your good all the pain and all the pleasure you will ever experience is an incomparable refuge and security and hope and power in your life. When God's people really live by the future grace of Romans 8:28 -- from measles to the motuary -- they are the freest and strongest and most generous people in the world. Their light shines and people give glory to their Father in heaven (Matthew 5:16)."

-John Piper, Future Grace (122-123)

Oh Lord, make this true of my life.

Friday is for Fotos: Graduation Day!

2011-05-20T18:52:00.011-04:00

After three and a half years of studying, papers, tests, and hard work, Daniel walked across the stage this morning at Southern Seminary to receive a Master of Divinity degree. I could not be more proud of him today, and every day, really. He worked tirelessly to complete the program while working part time as a shift manager at McDonald's and as a youth pastor. His efforts to complete the program quickly and with excellence is evidence of his Christ-like leadership and provision for us. He started seminary as a single man and came out a married man (not uncommon around here). I love you, Daniel and I am so proud of you!

We Have Moved!

2011-05-19T09:53:00.003-04:00

Well, sort of. Last Saturday, we finished packing up and began the eight hour trek from Louisville to Little Rock. Sunday morning we signed our lease and moved into our new apartment, only to turn back around and fly back to Louisville on Monday night. Sound crazy? It gets better.

Being the genius that I am, I forgot the key for where we were supposed to stay in Louisville, so by the time our plane landed we were homeless. For two nights we moved from place to place until the key finally came yesterday (overnighted from a dear friend). So for three nights we get to stay in the same place. I never knew that would be such a sweet blessing. But right now, it's the little things that count.

While all of this chaos was going down I would periodically cry thinking that this is not how I wanted to spend my husband's graduation week. I wanted it to be happy. I wanted it to be joyous. I wanted to make memories and remember memories. I didn't want to be frustrated, tired, and moody. But I was.

And then it hit me. This is exactly what we both pray for regularly. We want to be humbled because we know that God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5). Instead of embracing the grace of the humbling, I was stiffening my back and responding in pride. I wasn't grateful for God's mercy to humble me and make me more like him. I was angry that I didn't look perfect to everybody around me. I didn't want to have to ask for help, even though we needed a lot of it.

Moving is hard. But all big changes are really. This is our first big change together, coming off a year of busyness and heartache. It hasn't been easy. In fact, at times it's been excruciating. But as I read this morning in Isaiah 45:3, God gives treasures in the darkness so we know that he is God and there is no other. These times of sorrow, hardship, and even our own humbling, are reminders that God is God and we are not. And even though the circumstances are trying, he is giving us treasures in the darkness and providing abundant grace to us as we are humbled.

So You're Married, Now What? Use Your Gifts

2011-05-10T20:07:00.003-04:00

No blushing bride goes into marriage thinking that it’s going to be hard, or even that sin will rear its ugly head shortly after she says “I do”. But the unfortunate reality is that it does. Sometimes right away. But sometimes a few moments of bliss is enjoyed before real life sets in. Either way, there will come a point where the “honeymoon phase” is over. Two sinners living under the same roof is a hard adjustment. For many it’s the first time they have ever been hit head on with the sinfulness of their condition. And it’s painful. It’s crucial that the church and godly families help young brides-to-be prepare for what to expect, and how to respond.

The culture unabashedly tells young women to seek a career and climb the professional ladder. There are a host of television shows, message points in the classroom, and mainstream media publications that encourage girls towards this end. Unfortunately, many in the church do too. They might not state it so bluntly, but often the expectation placed on young women from a very early age is find out what you want to be when you grow up and educate yourself accordingly. It’s a subtle encouragement to the impressionable girl that your dreams, goals, and pursuits matter most. And it’s up to you to make them a reality. The message is rarely one of helping young women learn how to serve a family as a wife and mother one day. That, my friends, would be a waste of her intellect and dreams, right?

Don’t get me wrong. Women have incredible talents, gifts, and strengths just as much as men. It’s part of being created equally in the image of God. But God never designed any of us to use our gifts to seek our own glory and gain. And in his good plan, he uniquely created married women to primarily be a help and service to their husbands (Gen. 2:18, Gen. 2:20). But this looks different for every wife.

We would do young brides a great service by helping them fully understand their gifts and talents (and they have them), and how to harness those gifts to support and help their husbands. Sound crazy? Counter-cultural? It is. But it’s exactly what we as women need, and what a watching world needs to see. What can happen when young brides have not grasped this great truth is what would happen to any relationship when both are seeking their own way. Conflict.

I didn’t understand this when I first got married. Sure I believed that I was supposed to be a help to my husband, but I didn’t understand what it meant to be a “suitable helper” to my husband. I thought he was a hindrance to me fully exercising my talents and living my dreams. What I failed to realize was that God had gifted me in the exact ways my husband needed to be helped. He made me perfectly suited for my husband. And not for my own gain and my own glory, but to serve and support my husband in such a way that he is freed and equipped to fulfill his calling in life.

This is how the family is supposed to work. The family is one cohesive unit, with every member having a role to play. Some have more prominent roles, some have more behind the scenes roles, but all matter in the Kingdom.

So next time you talk to a young girl about her aspirations in life, don’t squash her desire to be a wife and a mother. Instead help her learn how to cultivate her gifts, dreams, and abilities in a way that will bring honor and blessing to her future husband and glory to her heavenly Father as well.

Letter from a Grieving Mother

2011-05-08T14:49:00.001-04:00

My Sweet Baby,

This is not how I thought my first Mother’s Day would be. I had hoped to be holding you and dressing you for church this morning. But I'm not. Instead my arms ache to hold you this side of heaven. I know you don’t weep for me. You are with our Savior, King Jesus. I can’t help but smile thinking that when I worship the Savior this morning at church, I’m joining in a heavenly song already going on. One that you are a part of.

All I ever wanted for you was faith in Christ. I wanted you to treasure him, worship him, and see him as the all-sufficient redeemer or your sins. We prayed that for you from the moment we found out about your existence. God answered that prayer. Just not how we expected it.

We don’t have to pray for you anymore, sweet baby. We only pray about you, thanking God that in his kind providence he saved you early in your life. While our hearts break that this saving happened before we could hold you and know you, we rejoice that he saved you from this sin-cursed world. All you will ever know is the sweet joy of fellowship with your heavenly Father. You are worshipping our Christ with an unveiled face this day, my baby. And that makes this grieving mother's heart glad.

I will love you and remember you all my earthly life.

Love,
Mommy

Finding Your Home on Mother's Day

2011-05-07T11:50:00.003-04:00

“He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children.” –Psalm 113:9

Barrenness and empty arms have a way of making a woman feel homeless and out of place. Whether your barrenness is due to infertility or loss of a child, Mother’s Day can make you feel like you don’t belong at church or even in your circle of friends. You may be surrounded by pregnant women, newborn babies, or families with quivers full of children, and your arms ache to be a part of the club. But you’re not. Is there a place for you in God’s house? He hasn’t yet made you the joyous mother of children, does he still have a home for you? Maybe you recently lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or in infancy, or maybe you are waiting for God to open your womb. You might feel like the Psalmist in Psalm 77 who says:

“In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refused to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints” (Psalm 77:2-3).

In all of your pain and sorrow you desperately want God to hear your prayer and comfort you in this dark season. Mother’s Day can be a stark reminder that there is a deep longing in your soul for a baby you long to hold, either in heaven or yet to be formed. And when you cry out to the Lord it seems like he isn’t there either.

I assure you, he is. Behind the dark clouds and frowning providence of this season is a God who cares about every detail of your grief. He may never remove the suffering in this life, but there is a grace for that. There is a tender-hearted Savior for that sorrow. His entire earthly ministry was to people who were outsiders, misfits, and people who did not fit within the world’s definition of worthy and perfect. Women who can’t celebrate Mother’s Day.

This Savior is not aloof to your pain this day. He knows it and has created a home for you in his house, in his Kingdom. While your home may not include children, know that he has prepared a place for you. You belong in his Kingdom and he is there to comfort you in your affliction. If you are a mother who has lost your precious child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or some other means, or if you are in the painful throes of infertility, hear the Savior’s call to you today:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

Even if you feel homeless and alone on this otherwise joyous day, know this my dear grieving sister, there is a place for you.

What I Learned Watching the Royal Wedding

2011-05-03T20:45:00.004-04:00

Like so many other women (and some men) in the world, I set my alarm a little early this past Friday. With an extra cup of coffee in hand I settled on our couch to watch the long anticipated Royal Wedding. Sure I was a little more tired at work on Friday, but it was worth it to watch a historical moment while texting about all of the details with my mom hundreds of miles away.

Some helpful evaluations have been written about the biblical implications of all of it (or at least I found them helpful), so I won’t rehash what has been said. You can read those posts here and here. But the thing that stood out to me most throughout the ceremony was the solemnity and reverence that permeated the affair. British people know how to respect authority, or at least show respect at the right time. I’m sure there is fault to find with all of the pomp and extravagance of a wedding of this magnitude, but I think there is something to learn from it too.

A lot could, and should, be said about the dead orthodoxy of the ceremony. Sure, Scripture was read, hymns were sung, and prayers were lifted up. But there was no passion, no life. As conservative Christians, who often are part of much livelier church services, it’s really easy to judge the theological ambivalence of so many of the people in Britain, most notably the Royal Family. And we should grieve over this desertion from the Gospel. Every culture has it’s hindrances to believing the gospel. Ours is an independent spirit that leads us to crave personal autonomy, not awestruck wonder at Another greater than ourselves. The British, while seeming to understand the importance of respect and awe, sit lifeless in a sea of theological liberalism and secularism.

The people of England’s respect for the Royal Family, and especially the Queen, made me think about the recent weddings of two former presidents. Both happened with very little fanfare. Neither wedding was televised before 2 billion people. And I certainly didn’t set my alarm for their weddings. Obviously, these families are not an established monarchy, but I think it’s something more than that. We don’t respect authority and leadership in the same way the British do. We were founded on individualism, not unity. Our roots are in independence, not dependence. Surely this independence has tremendous bearing on how we relate to God and his authority in our own lives.

We can talk all day about the spiritual deadness of the Royal Wedding and many in Britain, and it’s true. But before we start throwing stones at our friends across the pond, let’s remember that we too have our own vices and stumbling blocks when it comes to embracing the truth of the Gospel. We might say all of the right theological terms and actually read our Bibles, but if we are characterized by a spirit of it’s-just-me-and-Jesus individualism then our orthodoxy is just as dead.

I’m glad I experienced this historic day. It was a fun experience, and who doesn’t like a good wedding? I pray the best for the newly married couple. But more than anything I hope I learned a little more about what it means to honor and respect authority—most importantly the authority of a sovereign God over every fiber of my being. That was worth setting my alarm for.

So You're Married, Now What?

2011-04-25T20:31:00.002-04:00

It’s that time of year again. Invitations are being stamped and sealed. Dresses are being sized. And women, young and old, are being showered with gifts in preparation for an all important day—their wedding day. Even the media is buzzing these days with the upcoming nuptials of Britain’s future King and Queen. We all have wedding fever and it is sure to last at least through the summer.

We spend a lot of time preparing for the big day. We buy a dress, choose bridesmaids, make a guest list, and hone a million other tiny details that will ensure our day is complete perfection. Now, I’m not going to lie, the wedding is a whole lot of fun. Or at least mine was. I loved my dress fittings, showers, and planning every detail. I especially loved the day itself. But for a lot of women that’s where the preparation ends. The clock strikes midnight and they realize they are left with a husband, not a room full of people dancing the night away.

By God’s grace, we were provided with excellent premarital counseling. We often talk about how much we were helped and prepared for marriage by the biblical wisdom and discipleship of the couple who counseled us. But no matter how much I knew the concepts about what it takes to make a godly marriage, those concepts didn’t always become a fast reality when we said “I do.”

It’s hard when two sinners covenant to embark on a life together. Some say their first year is a breeze. Ours was not so much. Sure we loved each other deeply and enjoyed each other’s company, but we didn’t really know how to put everything we had learned about marriage into practice. Sadly, I know for me, too many times I was just plain stubborn and self- seeking. I didn’t understand how to live as a help and support to my husband besides just cooking, cleaning, and making his lunches. It took me a long time to see that God created me exactly the way he did, and he had my husband in mind when he did it.

So how do we help young women prepare for marriage in a culture that prepares you for everything but “until death do us part”? God cares about marriage. And he delights in godly marriages showcasing his glory. Shouldn’t we, as believers, care a great deal about helping the women in our lives get ready for this great covenant relationship? It will be radical, that’s for sure. But one thing is certain, if we don’t then the world will.

That’s where I will be going with the next few posts. This doesn’t mean I’ve got the whole marriage thing down. I don’t. In fact, everything I say is because I learned it by doing it wrong first. What can I say, I’m a hands on learner. I do hope to elaborate further on things I’ve said previously about what it means to be a help to our husbands and the lies the world tells us about womanhood in marriage.

So stay tuned…

It Was a Good Friday

2011-04-22T09:52:00.003-04:00

Jesus knows what it’s like to have his prayers not answered in the way he asked for them to be answered.

But he said, “Not my will, but your will be done.”

“My father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”—Matthew 26:39

Jesus knows what it’s like to be tempted with sin.

But he never sinned (Matthew 4:1-11; Mark 1:12-13; Luke 4:1-13).

Jesus knows what it’s like to agonize over what God has called him to.

“And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”—Luke 22:43-44

But he did it anyway, remaining obedient to the end (Matthew 26:36-46; Mark 14:32-26).

Jesus knows what it’s like to be scorned, abused, and misunderstood (Isaiah 53:3).

But he is God!

Jesus knows what it’s like to grieve and experience tremendous loss (Matthew 27:46).

But he did it for us.

Jesus knows what it’s like to feel alone and rejected.

But he is the Son of God.

Jesus knows what it’s like to be separated from the Father.

But because of his momentary separation, we, who are in Christ, will never be separated from the Father.

Jesus bore our sorrows, sins, suffering, and grief so we could have an understanding and perfect Savior (Isaiah 53:4).

But more importantly, he bore the wrath we deserved so we could be brought into his family, by faith in his finished work (Isaiah 53:5, 10-12).

Our Savior is not aloof and uninvolved. He suffered more, at the hand of God, than we will ever experience so we could be reconciled to God and have hope for our despair and atonement for our sins.

Hallelujah, what a Savior! And that’s not even the end of the story. Sunday is coming.

April is Sexual Assualt Awareness Month

2011-04-19T20:05:00.003-04:00

Even though we are more than halfway through the month of April, I think it's worth mentioning that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. I actually didn't know that until this year, so I'm not sure how long it has been held this month. Regardless of my past ignorance, it's an important issue to raise awareness about. Sexual assault is a horrible and demeaning form of violence against men and women. And while it is reprehensible, it should be talked about in our churches and in our communities. Silence doesn't make it go away. It only isolates the victim further.

Complementarians, Christians who believe that God has ordained men to be protectors and providers, should be the most vocal against all forms of abuse. And many godly men and women are. As much as we think that this could never happen to us, our church, or our family, think again. Some statistics say that one in four women and one in six men will become victims of sexual assault. It's a sad reality and as believers we must be prepared to minister to men and women who are victims of such heinous crimes.

Here are some resources out there from a Gospel-centered perspective:

Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assualt by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb (book)

You can read a review of the book at The Gospel Coalition Reviews

Defenders of Women by Susan Hunt (article)

CBMW Statement on Abuse

Let us all work hard to make our churches a safe place for men and women who are hurting, abused, and suffering.

Headed to Little Rock

2011-04-18T19:52:00.005-04:00

One of my constant prayers when I married Daniel is that he would enjoy my best friend's husband as much as I enjoyed her. I knew they had similar interests, but you can't force true friendship. So I prayed that the friendship would come naturally. And by God's grace, it did.

After her husband graduated from seminary they began praying about where God would have them go next. Over time they started to feel like church planting was what God was calling them to.

That's where we come in.

After approaching us and asking us to pray about the decision to church plant and the location, it seemed that Little Rock, Arkansas was where we needed to be ministering (where they are from). Like so many cities in America, Little Rock is a city populated with churches, but many of them lack depth. When it comes down to it, every city could use more healthy, Christ-proclaiming churches. So there is no real formula for choosing Little Rock, just a common need and helpful connections.

We aren't really mystical when it comes to making decisions. We believe that God prompts us through people and through his word, but we don't really have any burning bush moments when we make decisions, although that would be helpful sometimes. When Jeff and Laura approached us with the vision and need we were sold. Although we knew Daniel was close to graduation, we had no concrete plans for next steps and were pretty much open to anything. We love the Breedings and we love the Gospel. This combination excites us to partner with them in ministry.

So on May 14 we will pack up the U-haul and head South to our new home. When we went to look for a place to live last week I kept saying to myself "This is where your home is now." Moving to a completely foreign city with only a handful of friends, and an amazing husband, can be daunting and overwhelming. But so far I'm just plain excited. I'm excited about what the future holds. I'm excited to start this new adventure with my husband. And I'm excited to be in the beginning stages of a church that, Lord-willing, will be a pillar of truth and Christ-exalting passion in the Midtown area of Little Rock, Arkansas.

If you think about it in the next few weeks, please pray for us. We have already seen God provide for us in tremendous ways, most notably in providing a job for Daniel (he will be bi-vocational for a while). This provides the opportunity for me to focus on our home, be a support to him, and grow as a freelance writer. I'm really looking forward to keeping a home and being a much happier, less stressed wife. We have a lot of details that need to fall into place. And we have a lot of things that need to get done, most importantly, packing and Daniel graduating.

Thanks for caring and for following us into this exciting new chapter of life. To God be the glory.