A Safe Place for Loss

It is not a shock that in many circles miscarriage is a taboo subject. I have recently noticed a rise in famous people bringing up their own pregnancy losses in public arenas. In some ways this is good. It brings voice to a silent sorrow for many women. But it can't stop with celebrities. Today, the Christianity Today women's blog has an interesting post titled "What Celebrity Miscarriages Teach Us." They link to an interview with Lisa Ling on The View about her recent miscarriage, and her thoughts are worth listening to. Her final solution to the pain of miscarriage is Christ-less, and ultimately unhelpful. But her premise, that miscarriage needs to be talked about, is right.

The author of this post says some right things about what these public losses teach us in the church about our own responses to miscarriage. She says:

"Perhaps the courage of these women who are living through loss in the limelight can remind us Christians that we, too, can be courageous. Perhaps it can remind us that we, of all people, should be able to share loss with one another — even loss that presents as a bloody, shameful failure. Perhaps our communities of faith can remember that it is our privilege to become, not secret societies of women, but places where women and men alike become part of a Body — the Body of Christ, out of whose bloody shame was born redemption for this world."

While I don't think that courage is our motivation in talking about miscarriage, I do think she is on to something. The Body of Christ should be the safest place for a couple facing pregnancy loss. As I have heard one musician put it, "we are journeying through a valley of tears." The road to glory is hard and heartbreaking, but we are called to walk it together. Sometimes carrying the ones who are broken and battered by the trials of this life. Churches should be places where voice is given to the silent sorrow of miscarriage and pregnancy loss.

What this sudden rise of public attention to miscarriage teaches us is that pregnancy and life matter to people. And when it ends they are groping for answers. As Christians we have an answer for the hurting sister in Christ and hurting woman on the outside looking in. Yes, miscarriage is ugly and awful. But there is hope for the woman who feels shamed by her loss. And it's not in "secret societies" and or even going on the morning talk show. It's in the open confession of her need for the blood of Another. Because these sorrows and this shame is not secret to him. He knows it all. And he cares.