The Peril of Isolation

“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” –Proverbs 18:1

No man is an island. This proverbial statement graces everything from church signs to educational material. I’ve heard it said so many times. So have you. But it’s true. Left to ourselves and our own opinions we can make anything seem right, can’t we? We can make any sinful tendency normal. We need people. We need people to provide companionship, but more importantly to provide the balance of sound judgment.

Outside input from godly friends and family provides a necessary safety net for us. When we isolate ourselves all we have is our own desire. We get what we want when we want it. We always look out for ourselves. We have our best interests at heart, don’t we? But if we are truly honest what we desire most might not always be the best thing for us. Left to the mirror of our own consciousness we can all too easily begin to see our own opinions as ultimate, and worse, our indwelling sin as minimal.

That’s what this proverb is getting at. Without the counsel, companionship, and correction of others we would spiral out of control, even to the point of spurning sound judgment. This is not a foreign concept in the Bible. In fact, it’s a common theme woven throughout the pages of Scripture. It was not good for Adam to be alone, and while this was “pre-fall,” after the arrival of sin he needed Eve all the more. The very fact that God instituted the local church, a body of redeemed sinners, to spread his glory throughout the world shows us that he never intended for it to be just me and Jesus. Let’s be honest, it’s easy to be a lone ranger. Relationships are hard. People aren’t always nice, fun to be around, or even that interesting. And sometimes we would much rather it be just us and Jesus. He’s nicer, more gracious, doesn’t ever say the wrong thing, and doesn’t get all up in our business like the people closest to us.

And that’s exactly why we need people.

The people in your local congregation are people for whom this Jesus shed his blood. Building relationships with one another is part of his perfect plan to change us and make us more like him. Sure, it’s hard work. Sure, people will hurt us, misunderstand us, and sometimes say the wrong thing to us. But that’s all part of it. They chisel us. They make us more aware and sensitive. And more importantly, they help us see sin that we didn’t even know was still there.

Regardless of your personality, the truth still stands. Even the most outgoing person can miss the principal the proverb is trying to make. We have to be willing to open our lives to people and let them see inside—even if it’s not pretty at first. Thankfully, we have a perfect example in Jesus. Of all people who could live an isolated life, he would have been the one to do it while on earth. He was God. In him was complete perfection and holiness. But he came to earth and opened his life up so we could be cleansed, forgiven, and no longer live in sinful isolation from everyone else.

So when you feel tempted to hide and live in isolation from the ones who love you and know you, remember the Savior. Not only did he obey perfectly, but he has made a way so you no longer have to live in fear of condemnation for your sins. The sound judgment you deserve was paid for by the holy, precious, and victorious Jesus. He bought you with a price and adopted you into his family.

So the saying really is true for us. In Christ, no man is an island.

Friday is for Fotos: Reading List

What I'm currently reading (or just recently finished).



What I want to read.

I have a lot of work to do...

For All of the Valentine's Day Haters

I used to hate Valentine's Day. In fact, my disdain for the day went so far as avoiding wearing pink or red on February 14 (and I love red!). So I understand why some people really dread this day. I was a Valentine's Day hater. Sure, when I was a little kid it was fun. Everyone got a valentine and tons of candy at school. There was no coupling and no dates. And then something happened.

Hormones blossomed and Valentine's Day moved from an excuse for an elementary school party to a day of flowers, boyfriends, and the unwelcome reality that not everyone gets to celebrate with a special someone. So what did I do? I did what any self-preserving girl would do. I loathed the day. I acted like it was no big deal that I had no valentine on Valentine's Day. I even went so far as proclaiming the day as a lame excuse for people in-love to go out and buy each other presents. Who needs Valentine's Day anyway, I thought.

And now here I am all these years later. I'm wearing red (so is my husband). I'm celebrating the day in my class today. I'm buying my husband a present. And I've honestly been looking forward to this day for weeks. You could say that I'm now a proud member of the Valentine's Day celebrator club.

What happened? How did I go from hater to lover? I now have that special someone to celebrate with. But as I look back on my years of being a Valentine's Day hater I wish I had been more honest with myself. Some people legitimately hate Valentine's Day, or are indifferent to it. There is nothing wrong with that. But I wasn't one of those people. You see, deep down I really wanted to celebrate the day. I am a hopeless romantic at heart. So instead of admitting that I really wanted a husband, I settled for being a Debbie Downer, because, let's face it, it's just a whole lot easier being a cynic than letting our true feelings show. And I wish I had been so bold. Admitting that Valentine's Day was hard for me would have opened up opportunities for people to know my heart, to know my desires, and perhaps even pray alongside me for God to grant the fulfillment of those desires.

So if you are a legitimate Valentine's Day hater, that's fine. It's not for everyone. But if your hatred for the day is really a disguise for your true desires for love, be honest with yourself. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that this day, like so many other holidays, can be one of great pain and longing for single people. In an often cold and loud way, it highlights what you don't have. But there is peace and contentment in recognizing what the day does for you, rather than scorning it. God knows the deepest desires of your heart anyway, so even the greatest attempts at hiding your true feelings aren't lost on him. And honestly, hating the day won't make you feel any better. Trust me, I know.

The Fellowship of His Sufferings

“That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” –Philippians 3:10-11

I’ve always wondered what it means to “share his sufferings.” I know that nothing we do adds to what Christ has already accomplished. I know that Jesus is perfect and I’m not anywhere close to perfection. I know that Jesus is God and, well, I’m not. So I’ve always been left wondering, how do I share in his sufferings, or as other translations say “know the fellowship of his suffering”?

I have been reading Be Still My Soul: Embracing God’s Purpose and Provision in Suffering, and there is a chapter in the book that references this briefly. Here is what I have learned so far. I think that having a right perspective on my own suffering starts with understanding the suffering of Christ. No one suffered more than he did. When we are tempted to look at our own suffering as the worst anyone has ever experience, we know that we have a comforting Savior who suffered more than we could ever imagine. Understanding the suffering of Christ radicalizes my understanding of my own suffering. Yes, it’s painful. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, the feelings and emotions that accompany suffering are often legitimate and real. But I’m not alone in my suffering. Because I’m trusting in Christ, I’m given the benefit of beautiful fellowship with him even in the darkest night of sorrow because he has already experienced it all.

As Christians we know that our fellowship with him is not isolated to our present suffering. We get to share in his glory too. Just as our Savior was brought from sorrow, grief, and pain to heavenly glory, so we also will one day experience the same. And if we are honest with ourselves, no one has ever experienced suffering like our Christ. He was born into scandal, despised his entire adult life, and killed along with criminals. Even more than that, he faced a suffering that we as believers will never face—the judgment of the Father.

Suffering in this life is painful. Grief, loss, physical pain and discomfort, sorrow, death, and loneliness are all real and devastating. But as Christians, our suffering brings us into a fellowship with our Savior and friend, Jesus. He knows more than we even know what our trials feel like. He felt them. He gladly took them on when he didn’t deserve them. He has brought us into his fellowship of suffering as a sympathetic and caring Savior. And he is preparing a better place for us.

It is when we see our suffering as a gateway into greater fellowship with our Christ that we are able to embrace it and thank God for it. If we fight against it, grow bitter because of it, or run from it we will miss a crucial component of our sanctification. Suffering prunes us. It strips us of our sin and makes us more like Christ. But it also prepares us for greater glory yet to be realized. When we share in the sufferings of Christ, the fellowship we experience with him in the deepest pain is only a foretaste of the unending, perfect fellowship we will experience one day in glory.

And that is what we are waiting for.

Interview with Nancy Guthrie

This morning, Her.meneutics (the CT women's blog) posted an interview I did with Nancy Guthrie. She is the author of the Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament bible studies that are published through Crossway. The most recent bible study (the second in the series) will be out at the end of this month, and it is as good as the first one. I have been able to review both the first and the second for The Gospel Coalition, and I loved every minute of each one.

If you aren't familiar with Nancy, you should be. She is a prolific author, having written and edited a number of books with topics ranging from Christian holidays to dealing with the death of a child. I'm currently reading Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering and it has ministered to me greatly. If you want to get to know her better through her most recent bible study, you can read my interview with her. And if you want a thorough Bible study that exalts Christ, then get her first two studies. You will be glad you did!

It's My Birthday, I Can Cry If I Want To

Growing up my mom always went to great lengths to ensure that our birthdays were our special day. When we were really young, we got to sit in the front seat all day. Which, if you are one of four children, is a big deal. We also were given a free pass on all chores, as well as our favorite meal for dinner. If our birthday fell on a school day, my mom would bring us lunch from McDonald's. Birthdays were a big deal in my house. As I've gotten older, February 5th has felt less and less like my birthday. My husband and my family still make me feel like a queen on that day, but as an adult I now have responsibilities that don't go away just because it's my birthday.

My brother commented on his birthday this year that as a parent he now has to remember that he can't push all responsibilities aside just because it's his birthday. His son still needs his diaper changed. His wife still needs help with the kids. And he is still the provider of his family.

The same is true for me. My husband needs me as his helper and friend just as much on February 5th as he does on February 4th and 6th (and every other day). My church still needs me as a faithful member. My friends still need me as an engaged friend. And I have responsibilities that don't end just because of my birthday.

Maybe other people don't struggle with the responsibilities of adulthood on their birthday like I do. But God had to work a ton in my heart these last few weeks to remind me that part of growing older is maturing and growing in selflessness. If the pinnacle of Christian maturity is being like our Savior, Jesus, then that means that my desires should be less and less about me and my own comfort and more about the people around me. Of course, this doesn't mean that my birthday can't be special. It just might mean that, for me, I don't get to be a baby when I don't get everything I want on my birthday.

While my mom did work hard to make our birthday special, she never allowed us to pout or cry when we didn't get the presents we wanted. As an adult, now that time and rest are the presents I want the same principle rings true. February 5th might be my birthday, but I don't have the license to cry and pout if I want to.

Be Still, My Soul

This song has been in my head all week. It's one of my favorites because the words are so rich and true. It captures the human experience so well, a daily wrestling with our own feelings and trusting in the goodness of our great God. I hope it encourages you like it does me.

Be Still, My Soul
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, 1752; trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1855

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
leave to your God to order and provide;
in every change God faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
to guide the future, as in ages past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
the Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.