Treat Her Like Your Sister

“Treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”—1 Timothy 5:2

This verse has been sort of a theme in my class this semester. Whatever it might pertain to, whether it’s impurity, disrespect, flirtation, or leading them on, the question always is there: would you do that to your sister? So because this is a verse written to a man, and a pastor at that, you might be wondering how this has any bearing on your own life, as a woman (I’m assuming the bulk of my readership is female). But I assure you, it does. As young women, who are either dating, thinking about dating, or wanting to date you can do a lot to encourage the men in your life to treat you with respect and purity.

Paul sets the standards really high, doesn’t he? If he were to peek into your relationships with boyfriends, friends, or even random guys you meet at a party, would he find them treating you as sisters? Better yet, would he find you encouraging them to treat you as sisters?

The reality is that as women we have tremendous power in encouraging the guys in our lives to act like men. By your actions you can either encourage the guys in your life to sin sexually or you can encourage them to work hard at being men (i.e treating you with purity). The fact is that so often we make it too easy for them. We give into their sexual pursuit because we think it will make them love us more and then we are disappointed when it has the exact opposite effect. We flirt with them, essentially begging them for attention. We let them have too much of our heart, all the while hoping that in the end they might see the light and ask us out. How is that working for you?

All of us want to be pursued and treated with respect, right? I have never met a girl or woman who says “I want to be treated like an object. I want to be treated like I don’t matter.” Every girl wants to be treated with respect by the guy she is with. Every girl wants to be loved, cherished, honored, pursued, and valued, right? It doesn’t happen in the context of a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Guys learn to treat girls with honor by the respect that is demanded from them. When you expect a guy to only treat you like he would his sister, you are encouraging, and even demanding, that he respect you and your body.

So if you are single woman reading this today, apply the words of Paul to your own life. Protect the men around you by giving them no other choice but to treat you like a sister. You will be happier. Your life will be easier. And in the end, the guys who don’t want to follow the Bible will take their ball and go home.

God knew what he was doing when he gave us the commands of Scripture. And it’s worth the wait and the discipline to abide by his standards.

Spurgeon on Unanswered Prayers

I have been reading through Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening and it has been a very helpful and edifying experience for me. Over the years I have heard so many people quote Spurgeon in sermons and realized that while I'm always helped by their quoting of him, I have very rarely read anything by him. When we moved last year we found a copy in a box of books and I'm so glad we kept it. Here is what Mr. Spurgeon has to say about our (seemingly) unanswered prayers. I hope it encourages you this morning like it did me.

"Unanswered petitions are not unheard. God keeps a file for our prayers--they are not blown away by the wind, they are treasured in the King's archives. This is a registry in the court of heaven wherein every prayer is recorded. Tested believer, your Lord has a tear bottle in which the costly drops of sacred grief are put away, and a book in which your holy groanings are numbered. Before long, your suit shall prevail. Can't you be content to wait a little while? Won't your Lord's time be better than yours? Before long He will comfortably appear, to your soul's joy, and make you put away the sackcloth and ashes of lengthy waiting, and put on the scarlet and fine linen of full fruition."

Friday is for Food: Grilled Dijon Chicken

It's grilling season around here. Well, actually it was such a warm winter that it never stopped being grilling season. Earlier this week I made this chicken and we really liked it. I can't remember where I got the recipe, but I'm pretty sure I adapted it from something I read on a website a few years ago. So here it is!


Dijon Mustard Grilled Chicken

What you need:
- ½ cup of Dijon mustard
- 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tablespoon of lime juice
- Dash of garlic powder
- 2 chicken breasts

How it’s made:
- Mix the marinade ingredients together
- Place chicken in a glass baking dish and pour marinade over the chicken
- Cover and refrigerate for a few hours. I did it in the morning and left it there all day
- Grill chicken for about 7-10 minutes on each side and enjoy!

I served it with a vegetable and some french bread I had leftover. It went nicely together.

Happy Friday!

Love the Church

I've heard it said a number of times from young people (and old people), "I really love doing ministry for Jesus, but I just don't see the importance of being super involved in my church." It's really easy to separate the two, especially in a world where there are many really good organizations out there that, while not connnected to any particular church, are doing things in the name of Jesus.

This is an issue I attempted to tackle in an article published at Boundless. I tried to show that our ministry efforts should actually be most evident within the context of the local church. I've met a lot of young people over the years who, while they are really excited about "doing something" for Christ, feel very little inclination towards the Bride he died for. I attempted to argue that they must go hand in hand. I also tried to warn against the emphasis on "doing big things for Jesus" because in actuality, most of us really just do a lot of little things for Jesus over the course of our lives, and that's actually a good thing. Faithfulness is our barameter, not size and innovation.

Here is part of what I said:

The passion for ministry and commitment to a local church are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they must go together. You can't be all about the mission of Jesus and not be all about the mission of His bride.

When we only think in terms of spring break missions trips or weekly evangelism outings with our college friends, we can start to think that our good actions trump our bad behavior. If you volunteer with International Justice Mission or sponsor a Compassion child, this good work actually outweighs the fact that you can't hold a job or are wasting your days away playing video games. And that's where the local church comes in.

The local church provides the accountability, fellowship and truth that we so desperately need. We have to get away from the mentality that it's "just me and Jesus." It's not. Yes, Jesus loves you. But He also loves the church, His bride for whom He died. The Bible actually talks about the church being the very body of Jesus. And I've heard it said that we dare not say to Jesus, "It's not You I hate, it's just Your body I can't stand." When we neglect the local church, we are actually neglecting our Savior.

He has big plans for you that do not start first with your exotic missions trip or urban ministry. Jesus' mission for your life is first and foremost to make you holy, and one of the primary ways He accomplishes this mission is through the local church. Our ministry to this lost and dying world should never be divorced from the church — and more importantly, the local congregation that you belong to.

You can read the rest of the article here.

A Tale of Two Responses

How would you respond if you were in constant fear for your life, abandoned by everyone you thought were loyal to you, and were stuck hiding in a cave? How do you respond when the storms of life come? Maybe you aren’t in fear for your life, but you might have just received some really bad news. Or maybe you have been asking God to deliver you from a particular trial for a number of years and he seems to be answering the opposite of what you are praying for. Does it cause you to abandon your hope in God?

Psalm 57 is really a tale of two responses—or more specifically a tale of the right response. David spends much of the psalm recounting the troubles all around him. Not only is he physically in danger, but his own soul is in torment (vs. 4). David could have gone either way in this circumstance. He could have either given up in despair, or he could glorify God in the midst of tremendous suffering. In today’s society (and throughout history) no one would have blamed him for giving up on God. But he remains steadfast. In the midst of all of it he offers pleading prayers to God to deliver from his enemies and trial, yet he also expresses hope in God’s deliverance. He could pray because he knew the character of God, but he could also hope because he knew the character of God.

But he does something even more amazing. He begs God to exalt himself in the trial, and then he worships (vs. 5, 7-11). Oh, how often is that not my response to my own suffering or trial! Here David is running for his life from Saul, and he looks to God and his glory. Suffering has a way of making everything very self-focused. Often the pain of suffering (whether physical or emotional) makes it very difficult to do anything outside of ourselves. It also makes us more easily tempted to sin, especially sin in selfishness. It takes a degree of intentionality, and a tremendous work of grace, to not be all about yourself when everything else around you is falling apart. But often that is what God is doing in our suffering. He is chiseling us and stripping us of the things that keep us from seeing him. While the temptation to be self-focused may be strong, the suffering can be the means of purging that desire. When we beg him to get glory in our suffering we are growing through our suffering.

But notice that David didn’t pretend like nothing was happening to him. He didn’t have a peppy “praise God and everything is fine” answer. Rather, he acknowledged the overwhelming nature of his suffering and then looked to the only one who could help him—God.

We all have a choice in our suffering. We can either choose to look only to ourselves and our circumstances, or we can look to God and worship him. When Job lost everything and was in tremendous pain and sorrow the first thing he did (after weeping) was worship. Looking to God and glorifying his name, even when our heart is breaking, has a way of moving our attention and affection away from ourselves and towards the only One who can satisfy us in the midst of our pain. It doesn’t diminish the sorrow of suffering, but it gives us perspective. It gives us hope that there is a God in heaven who knows the outcome of everything we face, even when we cannot see. And we can trust him because he is good.

We can worship in the bad times, and the good times, not because of the merit of our circumstances but because of the merit of another. God is good and always does good for us. He is the one we worship, not our circumstances. This is why countless hurting people throughout the years have been able to worship, even with tears streaming down their faces. They know and trust that God always has our best interests in mind and that he has never forgotten us, even when it feels like it.

So I want to be like David, and the saints of old, who beg God to glorify himself in their suffering and then worship him in the midst of their pain.

Pain in Childbearing

I’ve been in the thick of lesson planning these past few months. As a first semester teacher, my prep is never done. And since I’m teaching a marriage and family class, we covered some basic foundational truths related to God’s design for marriage in the first few weeks of class. Obviously you can’t teach these things without talking about the reality of sin early on. The Bible doesn’t get very far before sin comes on the scene, so it only made sense that we went where the Bible went as we began.

As I’m worked through the account of creation and the fall, a number of things stood out to me, but the thing that struck me most about the fall of man is how gender specific the curse actually was. Of course, both Adam and Eve faced the most devastating consequence together—separation from God. But God also applied the curse to them specifically within their gender.

In Genesis 3:16, God tells Eve:

“I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.”

Often I hear people explain this text only in the context of physical pain, which is not a wrong explanation at all. It’s true. From what I’ve heard the physical act of birthing a child is excruciating. But I think it’s even more than that.

Along with everything else after Adam and Eve sinned it doesn’t take long for the effects of sin to begin their devastating ruin. Pre-fall, God had given Adam and Eve the command to be fruitful and multiply. Part of their God-given design included the ability to bear children and fill the earth. Post-fall, pain would now be associated with it. Barrenness is introduced just a few chapters later and continues as a general theme throughout the book of Genesis, and even the rest of the Bible. The inability to bear children was always seen as a dreadful curse, in part because it was a terrible reminder that the world was now not what God intended it to be.

The fact that Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, Ruth, Elizabeth, and countless other women throughout history faced infertility is a dark reminder that all is not right in the world. Women lose children through miscarriage or stillbirth. Children are rebellious and turn away from their family and Christ. Adoptions fail or take years to be finalized. And that’s not even including the daily realities that being a mom is just plain hard. Yes, the process of pregnancy, labor, and delivery is painful and not how God originally designed it to be. But so is everything else before and after the birth day as well. As I told my class, what was once intended to bring the greatest joy to a mother would now bring added pain and turmoil in the midst of the joy.

Wherever you are on your journey of plodding along through this life, you can rest in this glorious truth: the curse didn’t end with the curse. With the curse came the promise, the promise that through this very painful process of childbirth everything would one day be set right. Jesus broke the curse on all of us, namely death and separation from God. But he also secured for us the promise of a new creation, one that isn’t plagued with death, sorrow, barrenness, loss, and heartache. What glorious good news!

So that is what we wait for. While every day, month, and year is a reminder to us as women that the curse is still wreaking havoc on our lives, the curse has a timetable. And that timetable is short compared to the glory of eternity. The pain will end someday. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for that day!

For a more in depth look at this verse, Tim Challies wrote a very helpful post on this last year. I was very encouraged by his take on it.

Friday is for Fotos: An Awkward Video

This was taken last week when I went skiing. I think "humbling" is the appropriate word here. I seriously thought I looked better than this video portrayed. Oh well. I guess skiing isn't for everyone.

Happy Friday!