After nine years on this site I figured it was time to move to something more professional (and in my married name). So I hope you will follow me at my new website: www.courtneyreissig.com. I am so thankful for the readers I've had over here these last nine years. My prayer is that I continue to write content that is born out of what God is teaching me in this life. I hope you'll continue to join me on that journey. Thanks again!
Monday, March 14, 2016
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
International Women's Day and the Women With No Names
When was the last time you went to your doctor? How about
your OBGYN? Did you wonder how this specialty of medicine came into existence?
I hadn’t given it much thought until I listened to a program on NPR a few weeks
ago about the father of modern gynecology—J. Marion Sims.
But I don’t want to talk about him, at least not directly. March
is Women’s History Month (and today is International Women's Day), so I want to talk about the women who made his
discoveries possible. The women he practiced on. The women he studied. And more
importantly, I want to talk about the women he exploited to find cures to
ailments many of us no longer are at risk of facing.
I don’t want this day to pass by without saying something.
I care about women. I care about the issues women face. I care about the women
who have gone before me. I care about women who have suffered in ways I have a
hard time imagining. Which is why I listened to a broadcast of The Hidden Brain on NPR.
The February 16 episode tells the story of slave women Sims operated on in
order to find a cure for obstetric fistula. He found the cure, but not before
he operated on these women without anesthesia, without their consent, and in
horrifying conditions. One of these women, the primary subject of the episode,
is named Anarcha.
It’s not an easy thing to listen to, these stories of
mutilation and pain at the hands of this doctor. But I felt I had to listen in
order to give honor and power to their stories. These women were real women.
Real people who had no opportunity to consent or even ask for the “treatment”
they were receiving. These were women who were not only abused by slave owners,
thus resulting in their pregnancies, but they also suffered the agony of then
losing those babies in complicated deliveries. We don’t even have names for all
of them. A name, the thing that gives us our identity and individuality, is not
even documented for some of these women.
In history books we read stories of people and so often we
know their names. We know of Harriett Tubman and Martha Washington. We know of
Jackie Kennedy and Susan B. Anthony. But for the women whose broken bodies were
literally the very foundation for so many of the medical advances we have
today, we have no names. Only stories. We have documents telling us what they
went through, the cures that were found, but we have no names. And all I kept
thinking as I heard of what they endured, at the hands of a doctor who wanted
to make medical progress, is that God knows their names. They are not lost to
him. We know Anaracha’s name, but God knows them all.
So I want to honor these women this month, the women who
have no names, and even the one who is—Anarcha. I know what it’s like to have
complicated pregnancies and to lose babies, but more than that, I live in the
modern age where so many of the difficulties I faced having children were
remedied by the very medicine these women went through so much pain for. You
probably did, too.
Their bodies were broken, so mine could be whole. Their
children were lost, so I could hold mine. Their lives were ruined by the curse
of childbirth, so mine wouldn’t have to be. This is a sacrifice that none of us
deserve, but that I am eternally grateful for. So as I hold my healthy baby and
hug my growing twin boys, I am thankful to God for them, these mothers of
modern gynecology. They deserved better than what they received at the hands of
a doctor who was zealous for his own medical discoveries and glory. They
deserved to be treated with dignity and respect. They deserved to be treated as
humans. They deserved to be cared for, not mutilated. And they deserved to be named.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Forgetting God When Our Bellies are Full
The holiday season provides a lot of time for fullness. Thanksgiving flows into Christmas and we can hardly remember what it felt like to have an empty stomach (or buttoned pants). The predominant theme of Christmas in the West is plenty. We have plenty. Presents spill out from under our Christmas trees. Our parties have food left over to last us into January. And we aren't the only ones who know what plenty feels like.
The Israelites knew what it meant to have plenty. After years of wilderness wandering, depending on God for their daily bread, God brought them to a land of abundance. No longer did they have to trust in new food every twenty four hours. It was there for the taking.
Yet, despite all of God's warnings to them to not forget his goodness in the land of the living, they did. And so do we.
The temptation when we are full on holiday cheer, or pumpkin pie, or presents upon presents is to forget the giver of every good thing (James 1:17). God knows how forgetful our wandering hearts can be, so he provides us with seasons of wanting and seasons of plenty. The ebbs of flows of a life lived in Christ are tangible reminders that this is not our home. Sometimes we have Christmas in abundance, sometimes we have Christmas in longing--but we always have God with us.
That was his promise to the Israelites as they entered the land flowing with milk and honey. He would not leave them, unless they forgot his goodness and his ways. Tragically they did. And he stripped them of this blessing. He brought them back to wanting as a punishment, but also as a reminder that he is the God who gives and takes away. He will not be worshiped for his gifts. He will be worshiped for his character. Unfortunately, we (like the Israelites) fail to see that character when we have good blessings flowing freely.
The challenge for all of us in Christmases of plenty is to forget the God who kept us in the Christmases of wanting. He hasn't changed. He is still there, giving good things to the very people who so often forget that no good thing comes to us apart from his loving hand (Is. 10:13).
Don't forget him this Christmas. In the longing and the feasting, he is God. Delight in the gifts he gives, absolutely. But don't forget the Giver they are pointing to. He is better.
The Israelites knew what it meant to have plenty. After years of wilderness wandering, depending on God for their daily bread, God brought them to a land of abundance. No longer did they have to trust in new food every twenty four hours. It was there for the taking.
Yet, despite all of God's warnings to them to not forget his goodness in the land of the living, they did. And so do we.
The temptation when we are full on holiday cheer, or pumpkin pie, or presents upon presents is to forget the giver of every good thing (James 1:17). God knows how forgetful our wandering hearts can be, so he provides us with seasons of wanting and seasons of plenty. The ebbs of flows of a life lived in Christ are tangible reminders that this is not our home. Sometimes we have Christmas in abundance, sometimes we have Christmas in longing--but we always have God with us.
That was his promise to the Israelites as they entered the land flowing with milk and honey. He would not leave them, unless they forgot his goodness and his ways. Tragically they did. And he stripped them of this blessing. He brought them back to wanting as a punishment, but also as a reminder that he is the God who gives and takes away. He will not be worshiped for his gifts. He will be worshiped for his character. Unfortunately, we (like the Israelites) fail to see that character when we have good blessings flowing freely.
The challenge for all of us in Christmases of plenty is to forget the God who kept us in the Christmases of wanting. He hasn't changed. He is still there, giving good things to the very people who so often forget that no good thing comes to us apart from his loving hand (Is. 10:13).
Don't forget him this Christmas. In the longing and the feasting, he is God. Delight in the gifts he gives, absolutely. But don't forget the Giver they are pointing to. He is better.
Monday, December 14, 2015
Christmas is For Sinners
We have a Little
People nativity that sits under our tree. Despite our best efforts, it
rarely is all in order. Sometimes the animals are sitting on the dining room
table. Sometimes baby Jesus is riding in a dump truck. Almost always the pieces
are scattered all over our house, only to be returned to the angelic scene
after the kids are in bed. Our nativity scene is pretty disheveled, which in
many ways is a microcosm of our current season of life.
We are just coming out of over a week of sickness in our
house. What started as a bad chest cold for all three kids turned into three
ear infections. I guess our motto is go big or go home when it comes to
sickness, so Merry Christmas to us. We went big this time. Because of all the
sickness I’ve been homebound, buried in dirty tissues, and pretty much
exhausted, which is a recipe for disaster for me. I’ve been emotional. I’ve
been cranky. I’ve been frustrated. And I’ve felt little Christmas cheer. I
actually can’t remember what day it is, let alone remember that Christmas is
coming soon.
I was lamenting to my husband the other day that, among
other things, my heart doesn’t feel ready for Christmas. I haven’t had the time
to stop to think about the incarnation or my own longing for Christ’s return. I
haven’t even heard a full Advent sermon yet. I’m way behind on my Advent
reading. And then there is the Christmas
shopping and wrapping that I still need to finish. On top of it all, I’ve
hardly been a joyful person these last few days.
But Advent 2015 won’t give me a do-over, so this is what I
have to work with this year. A cranky attitude, sick kids, and not enough
sleep. In a lot of ways I feel too sinful to celebrate Christmas in all its
fullness.
And that’s exactly why Christ came.
The hymn “Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus” says that Jesus
came to release us from our sins, set us free, and provide us rest in him
alone. I need a repeat dose of that this Christmas season.
I can get confused about the purpose of Christmas being all
about happiness, sugar, and Hallmark movies on repeat (and I love all of those
things). But that is not what my heart needs most at Christmas time. What I need
is the baby that we celebrate. What I need is the rest that only Christ
provides. What I need is the freedom from sin that only comes from his finished
work on the cross.
Christmas is not for people who have it all together. It’s
for sinners like you and me. It’s for a mom who snaps at her children because
they interrupt her sleep again. It’s for people who are cranky with their
spouses when they try to offer them advice. It’s for the man who yells at the
driver who cuts him off. It’s for people who are greedy, people who are
selfish, people who hate Christ. Christmas is for the broken and the weary. Christmas
is for sinners, for all of us.
So I may not have it all together this Christmas. And
neither does my nativity scene. But that’s exactly why that baby is in the
manger in the first place—to set me free from my sin and give me hope beyond my
circumstances.
Christmas is for sinners. And that’s good news for all of
us.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
A Women's Issue We Can All Get Behind
I have been pregnant four times. Each of those times I received prenatal care for as long as I was pregnant. When I had complications I had not one, but two doctors who provided me with the necessary care for my pregnancies. When I have had a hard time with nursing, I have lactation consultants I can visit. My children see the doctor when they are sick and for well-child visits. I'm privileged. Unfortunately this is not the case for many women all over the world.
This is why I love and support the Child Survival Program through Compassion International. This program supports mothers and babies to give them the care, education, and tools needed to live past early childhood (when many children are vulnerable to illness and death). They provide prenatal care, vaccines, breastfeeding help, and literacy for the mothers (because studies have shown that when mothers are educated, they are better able to care for their children). What I love most about this program is that it is all done within the context of a local church. One key aspect of their ministry is that they partner with local churches to care for people in their communities.
As a Christian woman, I care deeply about the well-being of women throughout the world. When mothers have the education, tools, and care they need to provide for their families communities thrive. Why? Because mothers are vitally important to a society. And mothers who feel like they have the resources to confidently and safely care for their children do even better.
The Child Survival Program does this all in the name of Christ. The Gospel is ever present as they meet very tangible needs in communities all over the world. So if you are looking for a ministry to partner with as you end 2015, I hope you will consider the Child Survival Program. As pro-life, Christian women, we should be the first to link arms with women in need throughout the world, offering them life-saving measures for them and their babies. We can put our money where our mouth is, by showing that not only are we pro-life, but we give to causes that sustain life, too. We can have an impact on the spiritual well-being of a mother and her child by meeting her physical needs, but by also meeting her spiritual needs. This is a women's issue I am proud to stand behind. And I hope you will join me.
This is why I love and support the Child Survival Program through Compassion International. This program supports mothers and babies to give them the care, education, and tools needed to live past early childhood (when many children are vulnerable to illness and death). They provide prenatal care, vaccines, breastfeeding help, and literacy for the mothers (because studies have shown that when mothers are educated, they are better able to care for their children). What I love most about this program is that it is all done within the context of a local church. One key aspect of their ministry is that they partner with local churches to care for people in their communities.
As a Christian woman, I care deeply about the well-being of women throughout the world. When mothers have the education, tools, and care they need to provide for their families communities thrive. Why? Because mothers are vitally important to a society. And mothers who feel like they have the resources to confidently and safely care for their children do even better.
The Child Survival Program does this all in the name of Christ. The Gospel is ever present as they meet very tangible needs in communities all over the world. So if you are looking for a ministry to partner with as you end 2015, I hope you will consider the Child Survival Program. As pro-life, Christian women, we should be the first to link arms with women in need throughout the world, offering them life-saving measures for them and their babies. We can put our money where our mouth is, by showing that not only are we pro-life, but we give to causes that sustain life, too. We can have an impact on the spiritual well-being of a mother and her child by meeting her physical needs, but by also meeting her spiritual needs. This is a women's issue I am proud to stand behind. And I hope you will join me.
Monday, November 30, 2015
How to Love a NICU Baby (and His Momma)
Premature babies don’t cry. At least mine didn’t. They make
a labored grunting sound that seems sweet at first, but then you learn that
it’s because they are gasping for air to fill their under-developed lungs. And
that is anything but sweet. I’ve never
forgotten that silent operating room where I welcomed my twin boys into the
world eight weeks early. In the fast-moving moments of their early and
unexpected arrival, I held my breath in fear over the unknown path that lay
before me. Premature babies don’t cry, but their mothers make up for it.
I’ve stood in a dark neonatal intensive care room with a
fellow mom, as we stared at our tiny babies. She preparing to leave to go home,
me preparing to stay there for the next five weeks. Our babies weren’t leaving,
she just couldn’t afford to stay in the hotel next to the hospital any longer. Life
and death are happening in the NICU—life is sustained by faithful doctors and nurses,
and death is always around the corner as fragile babies fight to survive in a
world they weren’t meant to enter just yet.
Loving premature babies is a pro-life issue.
It might seem strange to fold a discussion about premature
babies into one on life. But they are
linked. Today marks the end of Prematurity Awareness Month. Unless you know
someone who has passed through the NICU, or passed through the NICU yourself,
you might not even know that this month of awareness exists. But it’s a vital component
to our discussion on the sanctity of life. For a long time 24 weeks has been
the big milestone for viability. If you can carry your baby until then, your
baby has a much greater chance of survival. After 28 weeks the long-term
effects of prematurity aren’t as severe. Babies born after 34 weeks often
cannot be distinguished between babies born at term by the time they reach
their first birthday. Medicine has come a long way in how it cares for tiny
babies. And here is where the pro-life argument is strengthened. The irony of
these life-sustaining measures is that doctors and nurses are daily working
tirelessly to save the lives of babies that are legally considered life
unworthy of protecting. Every day, doctors and nurses use their skills to heal
and care for babies that are legally unprotected while inside of the womb. In
some states a 24-week baby can be aborted, but in all states a 24-week baby is
given a chance at life if born.
But the reality that all lives matter goes beyond just the
babies in the incubators, though they absolutely matter. Like abortion is not
just a tragedy against an unborn baby, so a premature baby is not separate from
a mother who loves him or her. In some cases, babies are in the NICU because of
something the mother has done or because the mother does not care about the
baby, but in other cases the mother is deeply impacted by the separation from
her baby. As one NICU nurse told me on a particularly difficult day, “you
aren’t meant to be separate from them yet. It’s okay to feel the pain of that
separation.”
As Prematurity Awareness Month comes to a close, how can we
as Christians love both the premature babies and the mommas who yearn for them?
Here are a few ways:
Hold the babies: There
are a variety of reasons a baby may not have parents visiting. Sometimes it is
because the parents live far away or need to go back to work. Others it is
because the parents have done something to contribute to the baby’s prematurity
and therefore don’t (or aren’t allowed to) visit. Many hospitals allow for
volunteers to hold the babies that are well enough to be touched. Physical
touch for a premature baby is a life sustaining measure. All of the wires,
incubators, and tubes in the world can only do so much to recreate the womb for
a baby who is not supposed to be outside in the world yet. Physical touch,
while it seems small, is actually a very helpful and purposeful way to honor
the life of these tiny babies.
Love the mommas: The
separation the mother feels is unnatural to her. It feels like a part of you is
missing. Pumping in a sterile hospital room, transporting milk to the hospital
every day, separation from your baby (or babies), medical terminology you aren’t
familiar with, and recovering from a physically traumatic event all contribute
to emotional and physical fatigue. There is so much unknown. Will my baby
survive? Will he have long-term health problems? Will I be able to care for him
if he does? Our church provided meals for us the entire time we were driving
back and forth to the NICU, and arranged for transportation for me to get to
the hospital every day since I was unable to drive. This transformed my
experience and gave me the energy I needed to care for my babies. But even as I
type this I recognize there is a lot of privilege that is wrapped up into my
NICU experience. I didn’t have to go back to work. I lived near the hospital. I
could afford to stay at the hospital if I wanted to. I could even afford to eat
lunch at the hospital if I stayed later than I anticipated. I had insurance
that provide a hospital grade pump for me. I am married and didn’t walk through
the difficulty alone. Prematurity is often tied to poverty, and it is a vicious
cycle. From the chance to receive good prenatal care to the care needed after
hospital discharge, pregnancy alone is overwhelming to someone living in
poverty, and adding a premature baby to the mix only heightens that feeling. As
Christians, we could do a lot to bolster our argument for the value of all life
by loving pregnant women well (especially those in poverty) and loving mothers
of premature infants well (especially those who feel all alone).
Every day there are fragile babies lying in a hospital room
somewhere who if they were still in utero are legally allowed to be killed.
I’ve seen them with my own eyes and held them with my own hands. The more we
advance in our understanding of how a baby can survive outside of the womb, the
better our argument against killing them inside the womb gets. The pro-life
cause wins when babies live and thrive at every stage—from eight weeks early to
five days late. The pro-life cause wins when we acknowledge that pregnancy isn’t
just about a baby, but a mother, too. And loving NICU babies and their mommas
is a good place to start in practically living out what it means to be
pro-life.
****This post is in support of the Evangelicals for Life Conference put on by the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission (January 21-22, 2016 in Washington D.C.). If you are interested in attending or viewing the simulcast you can register here.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
A Tale of Four Thanksgivings
That first Thanksgiving was hard, so hard that when I think
about it I still feel the pain that flowed through my weary body. I remember
how I felt that first Thanksgiving, achingly aware that my body was empty.
Empty of a baby that I wanted so badly. Empty of the hope of a baby any time
soon. I was surrounded by pregnancy in every sphere of my life, and I could
barely choke out the words “I’m thankful” when we all shared our Thanksgiving
joy around the dinner table. It felt like a lie. I didn’t know how to be
thankful when living felt like death and tears came too easily for my comfort.
Little did I know it would take two more years before I
would know the joy of pregnancy again.
I remember how I felt that second Thanksgiving. When
treatment was inevitable and I had no assurance I would ever hold a baby in my
arms this side of heaven. I spent my holiday battling hot flashes and mood
swings in a drug induced menopause all in an attempt to get my body to do what
I felt in my heart it was supposed to do—carry and sustain a baby. It was a
little easier to say the words “I’m thankful” that Thanksgiving. I had seen God
work. I could see, though dimly, that through the dark and heavy clouds of loss
and infertility, God was doing something in my sad heart. I just didn’t know
what it was yet.
I remember the fourth Thanksgiving, smack in the middle of
the baby years with twins, spending many hours pumping and feeding and going to
the doctor and therapy. I wondered why after all my longing for a baby God
would give me such difficulty with their lives. I wanted ease, not discomfort.
I wanted simplicity, not complication. I was so overwhelmingly thankful for
every ounce of them, yet I struggled with my circumstances that looked
different than I anticipated. Yet still, God was doing something.
Here I am on the sixth Thanksgiving. Lord willing, farther
along than I was in the beginning. Still waiting for prayers to be answered.
Still battling discontentment with the life I have been given with its mundane
struggles, sin, and sorrow, yet daily reminded of the rock solid truth that God
is a good and faithful God to his people. He doesn’t leave us. He gives us only
good things, even if our definition of good is different. This Thanksgiving, I
feel like I am coming to terms with the reality of life in a broken world and I
am thankful for it in all its complexity.
I’ve had Thanksgivings of want and Thanksgivings of plenty,
Thanksgivings of rebellion and Thanksgivings of restoration. It’s easier to say
“I’m thankful” than it was in the beginning, but not because I got what I
wanted. These children give me much to be thankful for, yes. But it is more
than that. I’m thankful that in my darkness and cynicism and unbelief God did
not forsake me. I’m thankful that when I wrestled through the lot he was giving
me he still pointed me upward and worked faith into my brittle heart. I’m
thankful for years of sorrow and loss, because in the loss of what was most
precious to me God was found to be infinitely better than any earthly thing.
I’ve learned in the wanting that God shows up, that he can be trusted, and that
even when the clouds hang low a break in them is coming.
So I’m thankful this Thanksgiving. As I kiss my boys
goodnight and tuck them in bed, I’m so very thankful that they are here with
me. I’m thankful for their boundless energy and middle of the night cuddles.
I’m thankful for the life they bring to our home that was once so strikingly
empty and quiet. But I’m equally thankful that God was here with me as he
taught me how to wait on his timetable.
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