In the wake of the Anthony Weiner debacle the media has been asking countless questions about how we should respond to this situation, including the all important question: is sexting adultery? Sure we’ve seen the reports of the dangers of sexting among teenagers, but consenting adults brings a whole new dimension to the argument.
The Early Show on CBS, one of the many who have discussed this, facilitated a conversation on Saturday morning asking this very question. The woman interviewed said that men and women see this differently. Women tend to feel betrayed and see this behavior as adulterous, while men are less inclined to say it went that far. The man interviewed said that men don’t want monogamy, basically that men need an outlet. This can be that outlet, and in their eyes it’s not always adultery.
It’s hard to expect secular therapists to really think biblically about the whole thing. Their answers reveal their spiritual blindness. Left to themselves men don’t want monogamy. Women don’t really want it either. But left to ourselves we are no different. By God’s grace we are not left to ourselves. The natural response to the overwhelming urge to sin is to give in to the temptation. In the eyes of the world, the feeling is natural, therefore it should be acted on. Christians are not natural people. We have a new nature. We don’t have to live by our “natural” urges any longer. But I think there is something far more involved going on here than simply a question of adultery. The question actually reveals a flaw in our thinking as a culture.
Christians have an opportunity here to not only condemn the actions of Representative Weiner, and others, but also present a bold, biblical vision for marriage. When we think through the implications of a sexting scandal and whether it is adultery we must look to Jesus and his response in Matthew 5:28, where he says that “anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Jesus sees lust (sexting and any other lust-inducing activity) as adulterous. He was turning the commandment on its head. He cares about the heart, which leads to the action.
But even more so we must go back to the start of marriage, the Garden of Eden. God created marriage: one man for one woman (Gen. 2:18, 24-25). Sin corrupted this beautiful union, but the sin is not the end of the story on marriage. He redeemed marriage, and everything else, through the blood of his son, Jesus Christ. God never intended for anyone else to be brought into the marriage covenant, whether by physical contact, emotional contact, or cyber-contact (Heb. 13:4). Why? Because marriage was not created simply for the two marriage partners, rather marriage points to something greater. When God created marriage he had something far more glorious in his mind, namely Christ and his Bride, the Church (Eph. 5:25-32). When a husband and wife join together in marriage they are telling a story about the greatest marriage of all. And Christ never lets other lovers into his marriage.
So the question of whether sexting is adultery isn’t enough. And we can’t expect CBS News, or any media pundit, to answer that question for us. As Christian we have a much greater answer than simply “yes or no”. We have a picture of the perfect marriage that sets the foundation for all other marriages. And it is this marriage that Christians must proclaim when we talk about our own marriages, and mourn the demise of marriages around us.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Studying Ephesians
One of the reasons I decided to go to seminary a few years ago was because of a firm belief that women need theology and serious Bible study. I wanted to gain a solid foundation so I could teach women the Bible someday. I'm always excited when I see a new resource for women that helps them dive into God's word and equips them to study theology. That's why I was so thankful to review Wendy Horger Alsup's book, By His Wounds You are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman's Identity, for The Gospel Coalition Reviews.
If you are looking for a serious study that is geared towards women, this is for you. It would be fine for personal study or even a larger group study with women. Either way, it's a really great resource and a gift to women in the Church. Read the review for yourself, but I'm sure you will find it as helpful to you as it was to me.
If you are looking for a serious study that is geared towards women, this is for you. It would be fine for personal study or even a larger group study with women. Either way, it's a really great resource and a gift to women in the Church. Read the review for yourself, but I'm sure you will find it as helpful to you as it was to me.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Missions Wednesday: Afghanistan
After a (too) long hiatus, Missions Wednesday is back! I really want to be disciplined with posting these because they are so helpful in opening my eyes to the nations. I need that. So I hope they help you as much as they help me!
We've all heard a lot about Afghanistan. I'm reading George W. Bush's book Decision Points right now, and as you can imagine, he talks a lot about Afghanistan. And while the Afghani people are not necessarily the people we are warring against personally, we still have been in combat with their country for almost a decade. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44). How much more should we pray for the ones who are blinded to the precious truths of Christ and his atoning work.
Afghanistan is 99.85% Muslim, and prior to the toppling of the Taliban, Afghani women were not allowed to go to school and were forced to hide every part of their body (including their face) with a burqa. While they enjoy greater freedom today, their freedom is still within the context of the greater Afghan culture.
Because Afghanistan has been ravaged by war for over 20 years, over 4 million children have been left orphaned by the tragedy. Afghanistan continues to be a closed country that greatly persecutes (even to the point of killing) anyone who attempts to bring Christianity into their midst.
Ways to Pray:
Pray that the freedom the women of Afghanistan have been promised will become a reality for them. Pray also that this freedom would provide them with opportunities to hear and be receptive to the gospel.
Pray that the political instability and poverty will be a means of softening the Afghani people to the gospel.
Pray for the Christians in Afghanistan. Pray that God would give them courage, protection, and resolve to proclaim Christ in a desperate situation.
We've all heard a lot about Afghanistan. I'm reading George W. Bush's book Decision Points right now, and as you can imagine, he talks a lot about Afghanistan. And while the Afghani people are not necessarily the people we are warring against personally, we still have been in combat with their country for almost a decade. Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies (Matthew 5:44). How much more should we pray for the ones who are blinded to the precious truths of Christ and his atoning work.
Afghanistan is 99.85% Muslim, and prior to the toppling of the Taliban, Afghani women were not allowed to go to school and were forced to hide every part of their body (including their face) with a burqa. While they enjoy greater freedom today, their freedom is still within the context of the greater Afghan culture.
Because Afghanistan has been ravaged by war for over 20 years, over 4 million children have been left orphaned by the tragedy. Afghanistan continues to be a closed country that greatly persecutes (even to the point of killing) anyone who attempts to bring Christianity into their midst.
Ways to Pray:
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Life is Not a Deadline
By nature I’m not a very disciplined person. It’s taken a lot of years for me to get a system in place that works for me. After conversion, my desire for discipline grew, but it’s still something I have to work at. So I create lists. If a task is written down in front of me I will do it. And there is something so satisfying about crossing something off a list. My most recent job was very deadline driven, so I had to learn to operate on a deadline every day when I went into the office. It was good for me and I seemed to thrive in an environment that demanded daily action on my part. In my personal life I create deadlines for myself in order to complete tasks and stay disciplined. All of these efforts are good as general rules for getting things done, but what happens if my list doesn’t get done at the end of the day? Well, let’s just say in my quest to become a disciplined person my self-imposed deadlines can often make me a slave to my own ambitions.
Discipline and executing tasks with excellence are good things. Doing things well brings God glory. Keeping my word honors him. But they aren’t ultimate. In fact, they can be downright sinful if I let them take over my life.
In this particular new season of my life I’ve been given a lot more free time than I’m used to. That kind of freaks out my non-disciplined self. The thought of waking up without a task makes me twitch. I know what I’ve done with free time before and I don’t want to become an unproductive blob. So I make lists and lists and lists. And feel guilty when I don’t complete all of the tasks I’ve given myself for the day. I mean, I used to get so much more done in the office. What’s wrong with me now? I can be a ruthless boss of myself and I was trapped in this vicious mental cycle until Daniel, in his great wisdom, told me something last week that made me stop, “you don’t have to always be productive during the day. Your job is much different now.”
It was a profound moment, a sort of sweet release that living my life as a keeper of my home is not one constant deadline waiting to be met. There must be balance as I strive towards productivity and excellence. Now I firmly believe that being a keeper of my home means doing it with excellence and using the full force of my God-given skill set to make my home a haven for my husband and for ministry. But it’s a different sort of work. It isn’t always a list with countless tasks waiting to be checked off. Sometimes it’s visiting a friend in need or driving around with my husband while he makes cold-calls for his job. Sure it’s cooking, cleaning, managing our calendars, and all sorts of domestic tasks. But it’s also so much more than that. It’s about time and availability, especially taking time to stop and help my husband in whatever way he needs. For us, in this season, it’s the little things like reading and proofing letters to his potential accounts, helping him think through our church plant, and eating lunch with him.
There will come a day where the season isn’t so carefree, and that’s okay. Until then, I want to enjoy these moments and soak them in, knowing that they won't be here forever. But this struggle to find balance will always be about my heart and my constant battle with the to-do list.
Discipline and executing tasks with excellence are good things. Doing things well brings God glory. Keeping my word honors him. But they aren’t ultimate. In fact, they can be downright sinful if I let them take over my life.
In this particular new season of my life I’ve been given a lot more free time than I’m used to. That kind of freaks out my non-disciplined self. The thought of waking up without a task makes me twitch. I know what I’ve done with free time before and I don’t want to become an unproductive blob. So I make lists and lists and lists. And feel guilty when I don’t complete all of the tasks I’ve given myself for the day. I mean, I used to get so much more done in the office. What’s wrong with me now? I can be a ruthless boss of myself and I was trapped in this vicious mental cycle until Daniel, in his great wisdom, told me something last week that made me stop, “you don’t have to always be productive during the day. Your job is much different now.”
It was a profound moment, a sort of sweet release that living my life as a keeper of my home is not one constant deadline waiting to be met. There must be balance as I strive towards productivity and excellence. Now I firmly believe that being a keeper of my home means doing it with excellence and using the full force of my God-given skill set to make my home a haven for my husband and for ministry. But it’s a different sort of work. It isn’t always a list with countless tasks waiting to be checked off. Sometimes it’s visiting a friend in need or driving around with my husband while he makes cold-calls for his job. Sure it’s cooking, cleaning, managing our calendars, and all sorts of domestic tasks. But it’s also so much more than that. It’s about time and availability, especially taking time to stop and help my husband in whatever way he needs. For us, in this season, it’s the little things like reading and proofing letters to his potential accounts, helping him think through our church plant, and eating lunch with him.
There will come a day where the season isn’t so carefree, and that’s okay. Until then, I want to enjoy these moments and soak them in, knowing that they won't be here forever. But this struggle to find balance will always be about my heart and my constant battle with the to-do list.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Suffering Produces Faith in Future Grace
"When your faith is threatened and tested and stretched to the breaking point, the result is greater capacity to endure. God loves faith in future grace so much that he will test it to the breaking point so as to keep it pure and strong."
"God so values our wholehearted faith in future grace that he will, graciously, take away everything else in the world that we might be tempted to rely on - even life itself. His aim is that we grow deeper and stronger in our confidence that he himself will be all we need. He wants us to be able to say with the psalmist, 'Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever' (Psalm 73:25-26)."
"We learn through pain that God is faithful and that our faith is real. The people who are most unwavering in their hope are those who have been tested most deeply. The people who look most earnestly and steadfastly to the hope of glory are those who have had the comforts of this life stripped away through tribulations. These are the freest of all people. Their love cannot be daunted by threats or calamities."
"Through suffering God is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond death, and he is working out his infallible purposes to gather all the elect from the nations of the world and bring in the consummation of his kingdom. The critical point is this: the suffering that seems to threaten future grace is, in reality, grace upon grace. To know this, and to see how it can be so, will help you believe that when all around your sould gives way, the Lord is all your hope and stay."
-John Piper, Future Grace, "The Future Grace of Suffering"
Oh, Lord, let this be me.
"God so values our wholehearted faith in future grace that he will, graciously, take away everything else in the world that we might be tempted to rely on - even life itself. His aim is that we grow deeper and stronger in our confidence that he himself will be all we need. He wants us to be able to say with the psalmist, 'Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever' (Psalm 73:25-26)."
"We learn through pain that God is faithful and that our faith is real. The people who are most unwavering in their hope are those who have been tested most deeply. The people who look most earnestly and steadfastly to the hope of glory are those who have had the comforts of this life stripped away through tribulations. These are the freest of all people. Their love cannot be daunted by threats or calamities."
"Through suffering God is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond death, and he is working out his infallible purposes to gather all the elect from the nations of the world and bring in the consummation of his kingdom. The critical point is this: the suffering that seems to threaten future grace is, in reality, grace upon grace. To know this, and to see how it can be so, will help you believe that when all around your sould gives way, the Lord is all your hope and stay."
-John Piper, Future Grace, "The Future Grace of Suffering"
Oh, Lord, let this be me.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Friday is for Food: Shrimp Tacos
I have only recently started making seafood related meals. For most of my life I have had an aversion to all things seafood, especially fish. Shrimp sort of freaked me out too, but I would occasionally eat them if I was forced, I mean encouraged to. Daniel really enjoys seafood and has helped me to branch out and try new things, which I have to admit has been a really good thing for me. I never realized how many things I would like. I've really been missing out!
Last week, my friend Laura told me about these shrimp tacos that she had at her sister's house. They sounded delicious, so I tried them this week. They were amazing! So if you like shrimp and Mexican food, here is a super easy and yummy recipe.
Shrimp Tacos
What you need:
-Half a bag of medium size cooked shrimp (I think if I had bought large shrimp I would need less, so it's worth a try)
-1 ripe avocado
-1 lime
-some sliced red onion or cilantro (I don't like cilantro and I had red onion, so I substituted)
-Mission Homestyle Flour Tortillas (the best!)
-1 chili in adobo sauce, chopped
-1/4 cup of sour cream
How to make:
-Thaw shrimp according to instructions, heat for a few minutes in a skillet with a little oil and juice from the lime (I also added a little Kosher salt and cajun seasoning for flavor)
-Cut up the avocado, set aside
-Cut up the chili and mix in with sour cream
-Heat tortillas in microwave until warm
-Serve shrimp, avocado, sour cream mixture, and onions in warmed tortillas
Makes 4 tacos
Enjoy!!
We had chips and queso for a side. But rice or a vegetable would work well too.
Last week, my friend Laura told me about these shrimp tacos that she had at her sister's house. They sounded delicious, so I tried them this week. They were amazing! So if you like shrimp and Mexican food, here is a super easy and yummy recipe.
Shrimp Tacos
What you need:
-Half a bag of medium size cooked shrimp (I think if I had bought large shrimp I would need less, so it's worth a try)
-1 ripe avocado
-1 lime
-some sliced red onion or cilantro (I don't like cilantro and I had red onion, so I substituted)
-Mission Homestyle Flour Tortillas (the best!)
-1 chili in adobo sauce, chopped
-1/4 cup of sour cream
How to make:
-Thaw shrimp according to instructions, heat for a few minutes in a skillet with a little oil and juice from the lime (I also added a little Kosher salt and cajun seasoning for flavor)
-Cut up the avocado, set aside
-Cut up the chili and mix in with sour cream
-Heat tortillas in microwave until warm
-Serve shrimp, avocado, sour cream mixture, and onions in warmed tortillas
Makes 4 tacos
Enjoy!!
We had chips and queso for a side. But rice or a vegetable would work well too.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
What You Can't Learn on an Island
The saying “no man is an island” is cliché and overused, but the gist of it is true. God made us to be relational beings. He didn’t create us to be autonomous, self-sufficient, loners. He created us for fellowship, and togetherness. And to use another cliché, he created us for community. Not so we can tout how community focused we are, or even that we are authentic, real people. These are good things to strive for, in fact they are crucial to living life as Christians. But community and authenticity don’t exist simply to make us cool and relevant to a watching world. It’s not a program we can implement in our church hoping it will catch on and motivate our church members to want to suddenly “do life” together while they sip lattes at Starbucks. I think there is something much deeper going on here.
Titus 2:3-5 is a mantra for passing on godly womanhood to the next generation and with each passing season of my life I am reminded of why I need it so much. After going through the list of ways the older woman is supposed to train the younger, Paul ends verse 5 by saying “so the word of God may not be reviled.” That is the motivation for our discipleship. That is why we live in community with one another. The world around us wants nothing to do with Christ and his call on our lives. We are bombarded on multiple fronts with false gospels and lies about how we are supposed to live. God has provided a way for us to fight the battle within our own souls through his very word. And one of the ways his word takes root in our lives, apart from the preached word of God, is through consistent fellowship with other believers.
So if we need it so much, what does it really look like?
For a long time I thought it meant having an official mentor, someone who would meet with me regularly, teach me the Bible, and show me how to be a godly woman. I thought it was a program. And sometimes it is. But often it’s not.
Passing on the legacy of biblical womanhood takes various forms and can be applied to multiple contexts. By God’s grace he has opened my eyes to the wealth of knowledge around me in the friends I have who are even just a few years ahead of me. Sometimes discipleship looks like the spiritual mother type who invites you over to share your heart and study Proverbs 31 over coffee. But sometimes, and most of the time, it is in the little things, like visiting a godly older friend in the middle of a busy day with three little ones.
For a long time I would get really discouraged that I didn’t have a “mentor” and would search frantically to find the perfect, older woman to meet with me. Instead what I needed to understand is that I don’t need a program as much as I need to see life lived. I needed, and still need, to see godly women living what it means to love their husbands, walk through suffering, wipe snotty noses, clean again and again and again, and do it all with little fanfare or recognition—at least on this side of eternity. I need to see godly women hoping in God when everything else around them seems hopeless. I need to see stories of God’s faithfulness in the lives of my friends. And that’s why I need community. Not for community’s sake, but because I desperately need to see someone farther ahead than me show me through their life that God is not finished with me yet, and he is still working for my good. This past year has taught me that I need the body of Christ more than I ever realized. And not just in women’s programs on Saturday mornings, but in the daily realities that this Christian life is hard and we need to hold each other’s arms up in this fight of faith.
We really aren’t meant to be lone rangers, and if we stopped and thought about it we wouldn’t want that life anyway. God created us for relationships and community with each other, and ultimately with him. We need to live life with other people because God in his kindness has ordained that people are one of the ways we are more conformed into his image—in the end we are drawn closer to him.
I’m so thankful that God has placed women in my life that will walk this Christian road with me. I honestly don’t know where I would be without their persistent, gracious, care for me through the dark, and even happy, times. I’m glad I’ve been able to see the fruit born out of circumstances very similar to my own. It gives me hope. It teaches me how to pray and lean hard into the Lord. More than anything else, it shows me that Jesus is the best thing I could ever hope for. And these are things I could never learn on a lonely island.
Titus 2:3-5 is a mantra for passing on godly womanhood to the next generation and with each passing season of my life I am reminded of why I need it so much. After going through the list of ways the older woman is supposed to train the younger, Paul ends verse 5 by saying “so the word of God may not be reviled.” That is the motivation for our discipleship. That is why we live in community with one another. The world around us wants nothing to do with Christ and his call on our lives. We are bombarded on multiple fronts with false gospels and lies about how we are supposed to live. God has provided a way for us to fight the battle within our own souls through his very word. And one of the ways his word takes root in our lives, apart from the preached word of God, is through consistent fellowship with other believers.
So if we need it so much, what does it really look like?
For a long time I thought it meant having an official mentor, someone who would meet with me regularly, teach me the Bible, and show me how to be a godly woman. I thought it was a program. And sometimes it is. But often it’s not.
Passing on the legacy of biblical womanhood takes various forms and can be applied to multiple contexts. By God’s grace he has opened my eyes to the wealth of knowledge around me in the friends I have who are even just a few years ahead of me. Sometimes discipleship looks like the spiritual mother type who invites you over to share your heart and study Proverbs 31 over coffee. But sometimes, and most of the time, it is in the little things, like visiting a godly older friend in the middle of a busy day with three little ones.
For a long time I would get really discouraged that I didn’t have a “mentor” and would search frantically to find the perfect, older woman to meet with me. Instead what I needed to understand is that I don’t need a program as much as I need to see life lived. I needed, and still need, to see godly women living what it means to love their husbands, walk through suffering, wipe snotty noses, clean again and again and again, and do it all with little fanfare or recognition—at least on this side of eternity. I need to see godly women hoping in God when everything else around them seems hopeless. I need to see stories of God’s faithfulness in the lives of my friends. And that’s why I need community. Not for community’s sake, but because I desperately need to see someone farther ahead than me show me through their life that God is not finished with me yet, and he is still working for my good. This past year has taught me that I need the body of Christ more than I ever realized. And not just in women’s programs on Saturday mornings, but in the daily realities that this Christian life is hard and we need to hold each other’s arms up in this fight of faith.
We really aren’t meant to be lone rangers, and if we stopped and thought about it we wouldn’t want that life anyway. God created us for relationships and community with each other, and ultimately with him. We need to live life with other people because God in his kindness has ordained that people are one of the ways we are more conformed into his image—in the end we are drawn closer to him.
I’m so thankful that God has placed women in my life that will walk this Christian road with me. I honestly don’t know where I would be without their persistent, gracious, care for me through the dark, and even happy, times. I’m glad I’ve been able to see the fruit born out of circumstances very similar to my own. It gives me hope. It teaches me how to pray and lean hard into the Lord. More than anything else, it shows me that Jesus is the best thing I could ever hope for. And these are things I could never learn on a lonely island.
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