Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Treat Her Like Your Sister

“Treat older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”—1 Timothy 5:2

This verse has been sort of a theme in my class this semester. Whatever it might pertain to, whether it’s impurity, disrespect, flirtation, or leading them on, the question always is there: would you do that to your sister? So because this is a verse written to a man, and a pastor at that, you might be wondering how this has any bearing on your own life, as a woman (I’m assuming the bulk of my readership is female). But I assure you, it does. As young women, who are either dating, thinking about dating, or wanting to date you can do a lot to encourage the men in your life to treat you with respect and purity.

Paul sets the standards really high, doesn’t he? If he were to peek into your relationships with boyfriends, friends, or even random guys you meet at a party, would he find them treating you as sisters? Better yet, would he find you encouraging them to treat you as sisters?

The reality is that as women we have tremendous power in encouraging the guys in our lives to act like men. By your actions you can either encourage the guys in your life to sin sexually or you can encourage them to work hard at being men (i.e treating you with purity). The fact is that so often we make it too easy for them. We give into their sexual pursuit because we think it will make them love us more and then we are disappointed when it has the exact opposite effect. We flirt with them, essentially begging them for attention. We let them have too much of our heart, all the while hoping that in the end they might see the light and ask us out. How is that working for you?

All of us want to be pursued and treated with respect, right? I have never met a girl or woman who says “I want to be treated like an object. I want to be treated like I don’t matter.” Every girl wants to be treated with respect by the guy she is with. Every girl wants to be loved, cherished, honored, pursued, and valued, right? It doesn’t happen in the context of a sexual relationship outside of marriage. Guys learn to treat girls with honor by the respect that is demanded from them. When you expect a guy to only treat you like he would his sister, you are encouraging, and even demanding, that he respect you and your body.

So if you are single woman reading this today, apply the words of Paul to your own life. Protect the men around you by giving them no other choice but to treat you like a sister. You will be happier. Your life will be easier. And in the end, the guys who don’t want to follow the Bible will take their ball and go home.

God knew what he was doing when he gave us the commands of Scripture. And it’s worth the wait and the discipline to abide by his standards.


Tim said...

"Protect the men around you by giving them no other choice but to treat you like a sister."

Courtney, that is such an awesome line! It's an insight I will pass along to my daughter, too. In fact, this whole article is an great discussion of 1 Timothy 5:2. Thanks for giving it to us.


P.S. On a slightly related note, I just posted a guest article about how women influence their brothers in Christ by preparing them to wed Christ as his bride:
Some of your fellow her.mi writers visited it and commented. I hope you get a chance to read it over at Aimee Byrd's excellent blog too, and I'd love to hear your feedback about my writing.

P.P.S. Great job at her.mi today! Loved reading the article on family tv, and I left a comment there too.

Anonymous said...

You have a wonderful way with words, Courtney. What is your opinion on the way males should be presenting themselves? Single and married?

Courtney Reissig said...


Thanks for your comment and for reading! I will check out your article and look forward to reading it.

Thanks again for stopping by!


Courtney Reissig said...


Thanks for your encouragement and your question. It's a good one! I think the Bible only gives us two categories for people of the opposite sex. They are either our spouse or our brother/sister. So in response to the your question about men, if they are married to her then that's different. But if not, then they should treat her as a sister. Anything they say or do to her should be with that truth in mind. Married men have a responsibility especially to protect their marriage by their relationships with women. But single men should be careful as well. Even if she is your girlfriend, she isn't your spouse, she is still your sister. I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any more questions.

Thanks again!


Magnetic dating said...

I think a lot of dating advice for men, even when it's reasonable and everything (like yours totally is) leaves out something that many men tend to forget - above ALL treat a woman as a FELLOW HUMAN BEING. Not a target, a goal, an object (of affection or otherwise), something to prey on, something to idolize etc etc etc. Some guy friends/acquaintances I talk to are seemingly good, clever guys but miss this point entirely. Ultimately, you have to treat a woman like you would want someone to treat you - male or female. As an equal, with respect, GENUINE interest and honesty. I feel like then things just go well