Monday, May 19, 2008

Me, a Mentor? How We Disciple

We have now talked about the reasons why we mentor and who we mentor, and now I will conclude this brief series with how we mentor. In reality, there is no “special formula” for us to follow. There are, however, areas that older woman are to instruct the younger women. And while we are exhorted to teach in these areas, we are not told step by step how we are to go about doing so.

Older woman are to teach younger woman how to live as godly lives. Titus 2:3-5 and Proverbs 31 are our God-ordained guidelines for biblical womanhood. Teaching a younger woman how to “love her husband” will look very different if you are a mother teaching her daughter that her response to her father now reflects how she will respond to her husband later. Or, if you are an older married woman teaching a newly married woman how to respond biblically to her husband when she feels her tendency towards Eve rising up in her.

First, teaching and mentorship is an intentional activity. Discipleship does not happen by passively living life. Rather it happens when older women move out of their comfort zones and discerningly teach and lead younger woman towards Christ. As single women we too have a responsibility to teach biblical womanhood because we are born women, we do not become women. If we are not intentionally cultivating womanhood in our own life, and then pouring it into the lives of others, we will by default become like the world around us.

Secondly, discipleship is about community. Only within a redeemed community can we see life-on-life relationships that seek to sanctify and sharpen one another. As Christians we are called out of a community of darkness and into a community of light—and that light is Christ. Discipleship happens when we realize that it is not simply a new program or system put in place to make “friends.” Rather we are redeemed sinners living for the King, who will return to make all things new. This is the basis for our relationship. If our discipleship is not serving and building up the local church, then we have missed the mark in some way.

It is important to ask ourselves if our relationships are moving us towards biblical womanhood or away from it. If they are moving us away from it, then we are not mentoring in the way that God has designed. In your efforts to disciple do not feel discouraged if your activities seem less than ideal. What is most important is that you are obeying God's command and desiring to see women grow in Christ. As we grow as the disciplers and the discipled many practical issues will fall into place. Know, dear Christian, that your efforts are not in vain.

As I conclude this short series here are some practical starters for discipleship:

  • Start a small group bible study in your home (if you do not feel that God has gifted you to teach, volunteer to host the study in your home and build relationships with women that way)
  • If you are single, invite a younger woman, or girl, to serve in the local church with you in whatever ministry you happen to be involved in. I invited a girl I mentored to serve with me in the nursery on a couple of occasions.
  • Offer to help a young mother out with her toddler and new infant.
  • Invite a young wife over and offer to cook together—you can even do this with a single woman

Helpful books:

Let Me Be a Woman
Biblical Womanhood in the Home
The Legacy of Biblical Womanhood
Girl Talk

Feminine Appeal


Anonymous said...

hi courtney, love, steph

louise said...

Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).

Salvation does not come through housework. And for Pete's sake stop shoving our Mother Eve down our throat. We women have to stop blaming ourselves for the Fall. One woman eats an apple and men can't stop blaming us for her. Men - and not women - abandoned, spat on, kicked, insulted, denied, whipped, jeered God himself when He walked among us and yet NOT ONE MALE IS HELD RESPONSIBLE for that. We women stood by him and if the Church is still standing today it’s because of us. The bastards abandoned him 2000 years ago and continue to abandon him today. Theology, as we have it now, is nothing more than a weapon invented by men to oppress women. And Christianity is not a caste system. The value and purpose of a human being is not determined by which genitals s/he is born with.