Monday, April 12, 2010

Fighting Guilt and Fighting Sin

There are days when the weight of my sin is overwhelming. Do you ever have days like that? Simple prayers and Scripture verses expose the great wickedness in my heart that wants to come out (and unfortunately, often does). In those moments, I don’t even want to show my face to people for fear of exposure—or worse, sinning against them. It is then that I wonder, “Can I really change? Is it really possible?”

My sins are always before me. They scream condemnation into my face. “Feel the depths of your faults and failures,” they say. “You are as terrible as you think.”

And they are right.

More right than they know.

But the story doesn’t end there for me. My sins no longer condemn me. They can scream, but they cannot damn. Jesus paid it all.

I need this reminder. Daily. Without it, I am a lost cause. But I also need to make war, daily. Those sins that are screaming at me need to be crucified. They need to be killed. While they are paid for, they still linger around seeking to devour, destroy, and kill.

You see, I can’t stay here in the overwhelming part of my sins. The truth is they are overwhelming. That’s a fact. But if I let them, they will overwhelm me completely. Repentance is needed to get me out. And it should take me somewhere—back in history.

Two thousand and some years ago Jesus died for these sins. And this is where I must live to find true freedom from the shame and guilt that seeks to destroy me. These sins were paid for and I don’t need to try to atone for them anymore.

My sins are real. But so is the Cross. Jesus paid it all. I must get there quickly when despair is quick to overtake.

“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”—Psalm 51:7

5 comments:

Melissa Munger said...

Thanks for this post, I really needed to hear that in this very hour!

God Bless!

Kristi Stephens said...

Great post!!! So true that we have to keep both sides in tension - the weight of our sin, and the completeness of Christ's payment!

Our walk with God is so full of apparent contradictions - we are wretched, sinful, and worthy of hell - and yet we are heirs, sons, and invited into the throne room of a holy God. We are his children, and yet we are His bondslaves who owe Him everything.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!

cdt said...

Thanks for reading, Melissa and Kristi!

steph johnson said...

Courtney,

Thanks for these words. Feeling the weight of sin and actually having it be exposed is very hard & painful to see. And, totally understand about feeling like change will never happen...But, I am so thankful that the Lord does NOT deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us for them!

When we see the severity of our sin, our LOVE for Jesus increases and we can REST in the fact that they are paid for! Amazing.

Okay, just rambling. We need to continually be preaching the Gospel to ourselves each and every day! Oh, how I need the Lord and need to be declaring war on sin and fighting hard to see Jesus more.

SOOO a vomit of my thoughts :)

Love you & let's talk soon.

debt said...

Wonderful post, Bean, and so true!!My sin is ever before me!! May the cross be ever before me too!! Jesus, keep me near the cross!
Thanks, too, for bringing Sudan before us. Thinking and praying for those who are laying down their lives.