Thursday, May 8, 2014

For the Sad Mother's Day

Mother's Day is right around the corner. With all of the advertising and social media hype, it's easy to think that Mother's Day is a day where everyone is celebrating with smiles on their faces and children in their arms. But maybe that is not you at all. Maybe the talk about Mother's Day makes you want to crawl into a corner and hide there until Sunday passes. I have a feeling you are not the only one. While many women will be celebrating Mother's Day this coming Sunday with much to be thankful for, the reality is that there are an equal number of (if not more) women walking into the day with nothing more than utter dread.

Perhaps you just lost a child or can't get pregnant at all. Or maybe you recently lost your own mother. Mother's Day just feels to painful for you. It's a glaring reminder of the ache in your soul. Maybe your children aren't rising up to call you blessed, even after all you do for them. Instead they spit their breakfast on your church clothes, tell you they hate you, or disobey when you are trying to take a family picture. Mother's Day makes you feel like a Proverbs 31 failure. Or maybe your husband recently left you or he is prone to forget that Mother's Day is supposed to be a day where you are taken care of, not the other way around. You are again confronted with the prospect that no one is going to recognize your efforts on Mother's Day and it all feels in vain.

Mother's Day, with all its Hallmark celebration, is sometimes a big slap in the face to the brokenhearted mom. And even if you aren't in the midst of grave difficulty right now, Mother's Day isn't always filled with the endless amounts of appreciation we hope for or feel entitled to.

So what are we to do when Mother's Day is less than what we hope for? Or worse, what are we to do when Mother's Day is a dark holiday for us, not a joyous one?

Consider these words from Psalm 34:18-19
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted 
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,  
but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 
Do you hear what God is saying to you this Mother's Day? He is not far off from you. He has not forgotten how you labor and care for your children. He has not forgotten your desperate prayers for an open womb. He has not forgotten the agonizing tears of grief you have cried over a wayward child. He has not forgotten how you work for your family in the midst of trying times. He has not forgotten that you are doing this whole parenting thing all alone. Everyone else may forget to honor you this day, but God sees you. It is not lost on him.

And when your heart breaks over your circumstances, especially as you see the myriad of families celebrating this Mother's Day, remember this, dear sister: God is near to you. When Mother's Day hurts it is easy to draw the conclusion that no one is near to you, especially not the Creator of the universe. But that cannot be further from the truth. Is your spirit crushed this Mother's Day? God's word says he will save you out of the soul crushing grief you are experiencing. Is your heart broken this Mother's Day? God's word says he will draw near to you. Are your afflictions more than you can count? God's words says he will deliver you out of every last one of them.

Dear brokenhearted sister, know that you are not forgotten this Mother's Day.

1 comment:

Adoption Mama said...

Thank you for your sensitivity. I was just praying with a sister this morning this very thing. I remember those days well of having no children and fighting infertility and those days of the joy of adopting 4 children. Then dealing with the sadness and anger in my teens over their emptiness of "birth questions". Lastly, losing my mom 4 years ago. But you are so right! God is the peace. He is close to those who are in grief.