After Three Years of Marriage: Part 1

It’s hard to believe, but my third wedding anniversary is this coming Friday. When we got married everyone said it would go by fast, and while I believed them I didn’t fully understand just how fast it would go by. In some ways it feels like we’ve been married forever, not in the sense that some describe forever (i.e. monotony, boring, etc.), but in the sense that I simply cannot imagine my life without or before Daniel. My life is so much more enriched and blessed by him. He is my best friend. He knows me sometimes better than I know myself. He loves me and cares for me. He is fun to be around. He is my dear, sweet husband.

As we reflect on the last three years together we have been talking about the way the Lord has grown us both personally and as a couple. It is an ongoing conversation that will take us all the way to May 25 and passed it, I am sure. What has struck me the most is how much I still have to learn about being a godly wife. I’m sure a lot of wives feel this way, or at least I hope I’m not the only one! The beauty of marriage is that we have a lifetime, Lord willing, to grow in these things. Marriage is an ongoing sanctification project. The declaration of our union as man and wife does not transform us immediately into the man or woman God has called us to be. But don’t we wish it did sometimes?!?

Before I got married I thought I knew a reasonable amount of information about biblical womanhood. I had studied it. I worked for CBMW. I sat under good teaching on the topic. I wrote about it. After I got married, and I was suddenly faced with the daily implementation of these truths, I was surprised by how hard it was. I thought it would come naturally. Sure, things came naturally to me but they weren’t along the lines of submission, respect, love, and honor that God desires of me. If you were to ask my husband, I probably found much better company with the woman on the corner of the rooftop rather than the Proverbs 31 woman.

I wish I could say three years later that I am much improved. I’m not where I want to be, but I pray that by God’s grace I’m making progress. So over the next few days, in honor of my anniversary week (we like to celebrate weeks around here, rather than days) I am going to write about things the Lord has taught me about myself as a wife this year. I’ve learned to take it one year at a time. This year, by God’s grace, showed more fruit than last year. Hopefully next year will be even more fruitful, and with each passing year I pray my marriage grows more and more. Maybe you can relate. You aren’t where you want to be, but you know you need help and hope for change. I hope you will join me this week. I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am like you—a desperate woman, desiring to please God, and hoping for more of Jesus in my life and marriage in the next year.