Thursday, May 10, 2012

Finding Your Home on Mother's Day (repost)

I wrote and posted this last Mother's Day, but I thought it might be helpful to post it again for myself and all my readers out there who feel like Mother's Day is not for them. May it encourage you today, dear sister.

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“He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children.” –Psalm 113:9


Barrenness and empty arms have a way of making a woman feel homeless and out of place. Whether your barrenness is due to infertility or loss of a child, Mother’s Day can make you feel like you don’t belong at church or even in your circle of friends. You may be surrounded by pregnant women, newborn babies, or families with quivers full of children, and your arms ache to be a part of the club. But you’re not. Is there a place for you in God’s house? He hasn’t yet made you the joyous mother of children, does he still have a home for you? Maybe you recently lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or in infancy, or maybe you are waiting for God to open your womb. You might feel like the Psalmist in Psalm 77 who says:

“In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord; in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying; my soul refused to be comforted. When I remember God, I moan; when I meditate, my spirit faints” (Psalm 77:2-3).

In all of your pain and sorrow you desperately want God to hear your prayer and comfort you in this dark season. Mother’s Day can be a stark reminder that there is a deep longing in your soul for a baby you long to hold, either in heaven or yet to be formed. And when you cry out to the Lord it seems like he isn’t there either.

I assure you, he is. Behind the dark clouds and frowning providence of this season is a God who cares about every detail of your grief. He may never remove the suffering in this life, but there is a grace for that. There is a tender-hearted Savior for that sorrow. His entire earthly ministry was to people who were outsiders, misfits, and people who did not fit within the world’s definition of worthy and perfect. Women who can’t celebrate Mother’s Day.

This Savior is not aloof to your pain this day. He knows it and has created a home for you in his house, in his Kingdom. While your home may not include children, know that he has prepared a place for you. You belong in his Kingdom and he is there to comfort you in your affliction. If you are a mother who has lost your precious child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or some other means, or if you are in the painful throes of infertility, hear the Savior’s call to you today:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

Even if you feel homeless and alone on this otherwise joyous day, know this my dear grieving sister, there is a place for you.

7 comments:

debt said...

So blessed to be your Mom!! Happy Mothers Day, Bean. For you ARE a Mom! Not in the way you had hoped(and are still hoping)to be, but in profoundly rich ways that eternity will reveal. Love you so much!!

Brittney said...

I'm glad you posted this. I found you through challies.com Do you have any books that have been helpful to you on the subject of infertility?

Courtney Reissig said...

Thanks, Mom! I love you!!!

Courtney Reissig said...

Brittney,

Thank you for commenting and reading. I have not found any books that have specifically spoken to infertility, but I have been helped by two books most recently:

1. When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada
2. Be Still My Soul by Nancy Guthrie

Both books deal with suffering from a biblical perspective and have helped me greatly. I read When I Don't Desire God (John Piper) again earlier this year when I was really struggling with my feelings and emotions regarding our infertility and with all of these books the thing that has helped me most is having my mind reoriented to be fixed on God. As I've grown in my understanding of God I've been able to apply his sovereignty, love, and goodness to my own situation. I hope this helps!

I read CS Lewis' A Grief Observed after our miscarriage and was greatly helped as well.

Brittney said...

Thanks Courtney!

courtdm said...

Thank you SO much for this post. Finding your blog has been so encouraging to me as I walk through infertility. It has helped me know I am not alone and how to view my suffering from God's perspective.


Courtney

Courtney Reissig said...

Courtney,

Praise the Lord that he has knit our hearts together through this painful road. I pray that God gives you a greater understanding of himself and stirs your heart to love him more through this journey. And I pray he is pleased to open your womb as well. Nice to meet you!