"Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!" -Psalm 4:1
This has been our prayer as we wait for the boys to come home. God has faithfully answered our prayers when we have been in distress before, and we have confidence that he will do it again. It's not our own strength that makes the desired relief possible, but the strength of his character and his righteousness. Left to ourselves we cannot do anything, but God is powerful enough not only to bring our boys home, but to conform us more into his likeness while we wait.
I have had to remind myself of his power and character over these last four weeks. I cannot make my boys ready to come home from the hospital. I cannot make them take their bottles and nurse well. I cannot make them gain weight. Only he can do it. Having them hooked up to monitors has only further reminded me of my helplessness and his power. He sustains our precious sons. He holds them in his hands. He orders all things. And he has been doing it since the very beginning of their lives.
So we cry out to him in these uncertain days. We are asking him to work and are depending on him for the ability to endure not knowing when their days in the NICU will end. And how do we know he will work? We know his character. We know he is good. And we know that he has worked in the past and he will work in the future. He has worked in abundant ways in our lives before, and as we remember we are reminded that he will do it again.
Will it always work out in the timetable we want? Not exactly. But he will act on our behalf. And that is how we can pray. In prayer we are crying out to the only one who can and will work for our good (Psalm 57:2, Romans 8:28). We daily fall on our faces before this great God knowing that he is good and will fulfill his purposes for us. That is our hope.
Psalm 77 is a great reminder for those wanting to remember God's faithfulness to his own. This is where we want to be--remembering God's faithfulness and mighty deeds. When we get discouraged, we want to remember. When we feel like we aren't making progress with the boys, we want to remember. God has done mighty things for us and he will not stop pouring out his kindness on us.
He has done great things and we are filled with joy. Oh Lord, help us to remember this truth in both the certain and uncertain days.