Biblical Womanhood is Practical Theology

The women of our church recently finished a bible study on the book of James. Like the other studies we have done, this one proved fruitful in our lives and conversation. As we completed the study on Thursday night, this theme kept running through my head:

"A heart changed by Christ means a life changed by Christ."

What do I mean? James has gotten a bad rap over the years. Some have seen him as too practical. Too works focused. But as we studied this helpful book, we found rich truths and Christ-focused exhortation. We didn't hear "law." We heard "Christ." James is practical. James does deal with everyday issues that we face as Christians. Things like suffering, financial blessing or hardship, favoritism, and our speech. How many times have you wondered how the gospel of Jesus Christ applied to one of those particular issues? I know I have. The overarching theme of James is that Christians should look markedly different than the world, and nowhere is this more difficult to live out than in the myriad of issues I just mentioned. It is hard to trust Christ in the midst of suffering. It is hard to see Jesus as your treasure when the treasures of this world are piling up all around you. It is hard to control your tongue and see those around you as image bearers, not your own personal punching bags. You see where I am going with this? A changed life has implications. The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ means something for how we go about our daily lives. We should look different.

But we need theology, you might say. We need to treasure Christ. We don't need more rules.

And I get that. I really do. Legalism is a death sentence for faith. But legalism, as I have said before, is not the same as James saying "faith without works is dead." Legalism is saying "faith is dead" and "works make you alive." James ties them both together (faith and works) to give us a better, more biblical picture. James gets that works don't save you, but he also gets that faith means something--namely that it should produce good works. It should lead to faithfulness.

So what does this have to do with biblical womanhood?

Everything.

If a life changed by Christ has implications, then it most certainly has implications for us as women. While James never touches on gender roles or manhood and womanhood, he does show us that our theology should impact our practice. Our knowledge should lead to a practical theology of living. As women, this means that our lives should look different than the world around us. How we work in our jobs should look different than the cutthroat world around us. How we treat our husbands should look different than the male-bashing world around us. How we view our children should look different than a world around us that sees children as a nuisance and expendable. How we serve our church should look different than a world that says "my glory is what matters most." How we respond to singleness should look different than a world that says your single years are for your own self-exploration and fun. Biblical womanhood is not the gospel, and you will never hear me say that. But biblical womanhood is only possible in the life of a woman who has been freed by the gospel. Biblical womanhood is theology in practice. It is believing that we are created as image bearers. It is believing that being female matters in God's economy. It is believing that our gender tells a beautiful story about our Creator.

James, like the rest of the New Testament writers, believed that our theology mattered. But he didn't stop there. And neither do they. The New Testament writers understood that theology will always lead us to fruitful living. They got that from Jesus, who told us that if we abide in him, we will bear fruit (John 15:1-11). As we grow in godliness we will grow in how we look to a watching world. We should increasingly look different as we abide in the One who looked so different they killed him.

I don't teach and study what it means to be a woman simply for biblical womanhood's sake. I do so because I believe that a changed life means something, and nowhere do we see that in more stark contrast with the world than in our understanding of men and women.

Life With Twins: "You Must Be So Busy!"

One of the many comments I get when I'm out and about with the twins is "you must be so busy!" I guess I am. The truth is, since I have only had twins, I don't know any different. I was thrown into this whole parenting thing with two babies instead of one. So I've learned parenting like the rest of my mom friends, just with less arm and lap space. As you can probably imagine, I get other comments, too. Comments like "Better you than me!" "They must be double trouble!" Those are true statements, too, I guess. When one gets into something, the other usually follows. And I am glad it's not them raising these precious boys. I like them and I'm so glad they are mine. Twins tend to attract attention and comments, which I've gotten used to, and they boys don't mind at all! They LOVE the attention from people.

In all honesty, life with twins has been the craziest, most amazing, most difficult, most joy-filled reality I have ever known. Yes, I'm busy. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, my kids disobey and get into stuff. But that's what motherhood is. It's busyness. It's exhausting work. It's constantly training and teaching my precious sons that there is a way to live in this crazy world.

With all the well-meaning comments, and some not-so-well-meaning, I always remind myself and them that double the crazy means double the joy. We really believe that, Daniel and me. We look at these two sweet 14 month old boys and think, "we can't believe we get to be their parents." Sure, some days are hard. I'm not going to pretend it's always smiles and giggles around here. It's not. But nearly every day when we put them to bed we marvel at the stewardship we have been given. God has entrusted these precious souls to us. What a task!

Busyness comes and goes. There are some days that are filled with a little more crazy, tears, and disarray than others. But there is never less love and joy. And as I like to say often, "double the crazy truly is double the fun."

A little by way of update on these two, since I realized I haven't done this since they were 10 months old!

Luke is officially out of his helmet. Praise the Lord! He was such a trooper through the whole process. Both boys are growing well and learning so much. They enjoy playing with cars and balls. What little boy doesn't, right? Zach can say "eye" and "nose" (it sounds like "ne") and can point to both. Luke is stuck on only saying and pointing to his nose. They love to eat and drink milk, which is such a change from a year ago! Luke LOVES tomatoes. Seriously loves them. They both love fruit and would only eat that if I gave it to them exclusively. They have become quite attached to their blankets, which I find absolutely precious. Daniel and I always think each phase is so fun, but this has been our favorite so far. They love playing and learning new things. They will bring books to us and toys to us and want us to play with them or read to them and it melts our hearts. All in all, it's been a fun second year with them!

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This post is part of a blog link-up for the Twin Talk Blog. Since April is Multiple Birth Awareness Month, I wanted to join in the fun with other twin mamas! I wish this blog on twins had been around last year at this time. But I enjoy reading it now!

Why I Will Keep Talking About Biblical Womanhood

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an interview with music artist, Pharrell. Known for his musical genius, he again was in the news with the launch of his newest album, GIRL. I have not heard the album, so I can’t speak to its content. But his comments about the album struck me more than anything else. When asked why he felt the need to do an entire album devoted solely to women, he remarked that he loves women. Women are valuable. Women are great. And the fact that women face so much inequality in the world, he felt it was the least he could do. I get that. I was tracking with him there. But he went on. He talked about pay inequity and limits on their ability to choose what they want to do with their own bodies. He even put his crusade for women in the same category as gay and lesbian rights. He essentially said that in 2014 America, we have no right to tell people how they should live or who they should love, and women get the worst of it in his opinion.

As I listened to his rant about equality and freedom, I kept thinking that he spoke with such authority. No one else can be his authority, or your authority, but even in his cry for independence he was speaking as one with authority. I was struck by how we really are doing what is right in our own eyes in 2014 America. No one has the right to tell us how to live. No one has the right to say anything is absolutely true. Your truth is your truth and my truth is my truth.

And that is why I won’t stop talking about biblical womanhood. Why, you say? What does Pharrell have to do with biblical womanhood? Because as long as the culture feeds us an image of women that is contrary to God’s word, I will keep talking about biblical womanhood. As long as little boys and girls grow up thinking that it doesn’t matter if you are a boy or a girl, I will keep talking about biblical womanhood. As long as women (young and old) continue to believe that sex and flaunting their body is what makes them valuable and attractive, I will keep talking about biblical womanhood. As long as we continue to think that equality as image bearers means sameness of roles, I will keep talking about biblical womanhood.

Because at the end of the day it’s not about biblical womanhood at all. It is about the authority of God’s word. Do we believe it to be true? Do we believe God has really spoken and we can take him at his word? Or do we need a new interpretation or a new vision for a new day? We can’t move on from God’s word. We can’t graduate to something more compelling or culturally relevant. I have heard it said that women need theology, not more teaching on gender roles. I get that. I really do. Women need theology, that is absolutely certain. And more of it. But understanding how God wants us to live in this broken, sin-cursed world is theology in practice. It’s the theological legs to a body and head filled with knowledge. Biblical womanhood is theology in practice.

It really isn’t a new notion to ask the question, “who has the authority to tell us how to live?” We’ve been asking it since our first parents believed those very words breathed out by the Enemy. The cultural questioning of authority is really a questioning of God’s authority, asking if God can really be trusted.

So I will not pack up and go home on the biblical womanhood front. I know a lot of good friends who aren’t willing to do so either. We are here for the long haul. It’s not because I like a good fight. It’s not because I want to enter into endless debates about the meaning of headship. I really don’t. It is precisely because the world around us is telling a story about womanhood that is contrary to God’s word. And we know a better way forward. Every day we encounter women who are broken and battered by a world that is telling them lies about what it means to be a woman, and we know the Great Physician who not only can heal them of their sins, but also show them why they were created in the first place. Every day we hear lies about God’s image and his rightful authority over his creation, and we know the truth. These aren’t silly arguments that evangelicals like to get into. They are eternal matters that tell a story about our creator, God.

Pharrell is right. Women are good for society. But it is precisely because they bear the image of the One who created them that they bring value to this world. Women have value because they image Another. They point to God and his glory displayed in his creation. And that, my friends, is why womanhood matters. 

What is True Beauty?

I don't know about you, but I struggle with the way I look way too frequently. Even before I had the twins, I was constantly worried about if my hair looked good enough, if I looked thin enough, if my outfit was cute enough. It's an endless race that no one ever wins. The grass is always greener on the other side and we are never satisfied with what we have been given. And that's just plain wrong. I will be the first to raise my hand of confession and say that I have idolized the world's definition of beauty for far too long and it has to stop. In God's providence, this helpful book came in the mail a few weeks ago, and it rocked me to the core.

True Beauty by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre is a breath of fresh air to a beauty obsessed soul. If you struggle with what stares back at you in the mirror every morning or feel yourself fighting comparison when you walk into a room full of well-dressed ladies, this book is for you. But if you also want to know what God's version of beauty is and how you can have it, this book is right up your alley. I was so encouraged by this little book. I happened to be recovering from surgery right around the time it arrived, so I finished it in 24 hours. It's that good, friends. I leave you with a few quotes to whet your reading appetite.

"True beauty is to behold and reflect the beauty of God" (p. 35).

"Feelings of inadequacy about our appearance often arise because we feel we deserve better than what we have" (p. 39). Ouch! But so true!

"Some of us may parade our beauty for our own glory. Some of us may brood and worry over glory unattained. Most of us do a little of both. But whenever we try to get attention and admiration for our own beauty--whether or not we are successful--we are robbing God of the glory that only he deserves" (p. 42).

"If our diets and workouts become all about our appearance and how others view us, we are chasing self-glory, and not giving glory to God" (p. 55).

"A gentle and quiet spirit is not a personality trait. It is the quality of a woman who meets adversity--slander, sickness, rejection, and loss--with a calm confidence in God" (p. 81).

"Though many women become hard and bitter as they grow old, a woman who trusts God, who pursues a gentle and quiet spirit through the many trials and temptations in her life, grows more radiant and lovely, even as she wastes away. Her beauty is an imperishable beauty, after all. This is the powerful, living paradox of true beauty" (p. 92).

Hannah's Loss

Whenever I hear someone talk about Hannah from 1 Samuel it is usually because of her great trust in the midst of her barrenness. She is the test case for infertility, really. Barren in a culture that gave women their worth by the fruit of their womb. Reviled by the second wife who bore her husband the multitude of children she so desperately wanted, yet couldn't have. Misunderstood by those around her who observed her grief over her emptiness. Yet, she trusted God in the midst of it all. And God heard her prayer of desperation.

But there is something about Hannah that I often overlook. As I was listening to this sermon the other day I was struck by something in this biblical story.

Hannah lost the son she begged for.

In the wake of her great joy over her precious son, she walked in obedience to a vow she made to God and gave her son back to the One who gave her the gift of life in the first place (1 Samuel 1:11, 22, 28). The pastor I was listening to said that it would be expected for Hannah to respond to such a loss with unimaginable grief. This was pre-Skype, pre-texting, pre-modern mail system. Saying goodbye to her son, Samuel, meant saying goodbye forever. When she left him with Eli she left with him every dream of seeing him grow into a man. Every dream of seeing him learn how to write his name, read a book, or do anything that a normal little boy does. Except for the times when they went up to offer yearly sacrifices, when she left him with Eli that was it. As she promised in that tear filled moment before his conception, she gave her son back to God.

But what does Hannah do? She worships God (1 Samuel 2:1-11). She doesn't shake her fist at him in anger. She doesn't go back on her word. She worships the One who gives all good things to his children. She praises him for his character, his goodness, and his faithfulness to his people. She just kissed her little boy goodbye, left him forever, and all she can do is look to God and praise his name.

What Hannah recognized was that her son was really not hers to claim. He was a gift. God gave him to her and he had the right to take him back. She understood that the focal point of all of her barrenness, all of her pain, and all of her joy in the birth of her son was God. It was not about her getting everything she wished for. It was about God being magnified in her life and in the life of her boy.

And oh, how he was magnified. It was through this longed for boy that God would bring his people back to himself and prepare them for a king. It was through his leadership that the line of David, the line of our Christ, would be established. Hannah's loss was not for naught. It was for us. It was for our joy. It was for our salvation.

Rarely do we see the final outcome of our losses. We don't often get to see the ultimate point of them all, but it doesn't mean it is not there. Hannah never got to see the Christ who was promised. She probably never saw the king who would carry the lineage of our perfect King Jesus. But she trusted the promise nonetheless. She knew her story wasn't the final word. Neither is ours. How do we know this? Because of the loss of another--our precious Christ. It is his loss that assures us that our losses mean something much deeper than the agony we feel in the moment. It is his loss that promises that one day all things will be made right by his once and for all defeat of all things evil. Hannah hoped in the God who would get this done in his time. And so should we. Hannah was able to look in the face of her precious boy as she walked away from him for the last time and know that God would win in the end and her loss was not in vain. The same is true for us, friends. The same is true for us.

A Heart for Diversity

The subject of race has been a polarizing topic in our country for longer than any of us have been alive. In many ways, the lasting effects of the racism that divided us are still entrenched in many communities. If we move into the church, we find that even among God’s people, diversity and freedom from race divisions is still a longed for reality.

 

How should God’s people think about diversity in light of our history and his word? What does diversity in relationships look like? How does the fact that we bear God’s image play into our thinking about diversity and race?

 

My friend, Trillia Newbell, author of the new book United, enters this conversation with grace, conviction, and boldness. Through her own story of longing for diversity, worshipping as a minority in her own local church, and subsequently finding diversity through two dear friends, she shows us God’s plan for making a people for himself from every tribe, tongue, and nation. It truly is a beautiful sight to behold.

 

Trillia speaks not only to subject of race, but very real issues in our own hearts as we think through relationships with people who are different than us. As a chronic man-fearer, I was convicted and encouraged to not look to myself in situations of fear and self-awareness, but to look to the God who secures my identity in Christ. Through her personal story of diverse friendships, she shows us that God’s plan for diversity often comes to us through relationship. It is in community with other believers that we grow in Christ but also grow in our understanding of how uniquely different we all are. It is easy to gravitate towards the people who are like us and pull away from the ones who are different, even if they share our skin color. But Trillia shows us that because of our standing as image bearers of God and now his children through Christ, we have more in common than we tend to realize.

 

United is a refreshing read for anyone who longs to see the biblical promise fulfilled that God is securing a people for himself from every tribe and tongue. I know I do. Which is why reading United ignited my passion once again not only for diversity, but to see God’s name declared throughout the world.

Order it on Amazon

You Mean, I'm a Sinner?!?!

I don't know anyone who enjoys being confronted in their sin. I know I don't. Sometimes the confrontation comes from a trusted friend, sometimes a sermon, or sometimes it comes from God's word. Depending on how it is delivered to us, our reaction to it varies.

I have often read the stories of the prophets and Israel through a judgmental eye. I think to myself, how can they repeatedly stiffen their neck against God and his word? In my stinging judgment, I think that if I were in their shoes surely I would repent. How could you not when promised condemnation is right around the corner? It's so easy to just repent and trust God!

Or not.

My reaction to confrontation is no different sometimes. I am confronted with my sin and I plug my ears or turn my nose up at the burning conviction that comes from a trusted friend or God's word. It's not fun being called out, but it's necessary. It's a warning shot to our souls.

That's the beauty of God's word. On the pages of holy scripture we find our souls laid bare. Scripture gets us in ways we don't even realize. When we read God's word we are not an external spectator who knows a better way now, as if we don't still struggle with the very same sins. Ecclesiastes says there is nothing new under the sun, and that is no more clearer than it is in God's word. There are no new sins, just sins repackaged for a particular culture, person, and context. This gives us hope. While we see ourselves in all our ugliness diagnosed rightly in God's word, we also find the solution. The same solution that was given to the rebellious Israelites is true for us.

Turn to God in repentance and find hope.

The hope for me when I'm confronted with my sin is that God has made a way. The judgment is not the final story. Christ is. So when I'm discouraged by the accurate diagnosis of the depths of my sin, I can also be confronted with the amazing reality that Christ has paid it all.

The bible is both the diagnosis of our problem and the perfect solution. Christ is all we need.

So, yes, I am a great sinner--the bible tells me so. But I also have a great savior.

The Goodness of God's Ways

I have thought hard about the goodness of God these last three years. What I keep coming back to is that God's ways are not my ways. The bible tells me that and I know it in my soul. April 2 is a "God's ways are not my own" sort of day for me. You see, April 2 is the due date of our first baby. I could have had a three year old today. In previous years I have marked this day with a myriad of emotions. The first year hit me the hardest and each subsequent year has been a little less painful, yet no less impactful.

This year feels more real to me than last year. Maybe it's because last year I was drowning in the ocean of multiple middle of the night feedings and crying newborn twins. But I remembered. Every year I remember. I remember what could have been. I remember what the stinging loss felt like when I first heard the words "there is no baby there." I remember what it felt like to lose the baby. I remember what it felt like to cry out in agony every month that led to that precious babe's due date. Remembering is all I have of this little one.

But this year feels more impactful because I'm walking through another loss of a little one. The pain of the first loss is now wrapped up in the pain of the other. In God's kind providence, the twins' original due date was April 3, the day after our first baby's due date. In many ways, God was showing us the beauty that could come from the ashes of our grief of loss and infertility. He met us in the darkness and gave us hope that he is for us.

So we cling to that truth this year as well. His ways are certaintly not our ways, but in the same way we remember the precious babes we have lost, we also remember all of the good he has done and promises to do for us. Even in the sadness, we are putting our stake of faith in the ground and declaring that he is good and always does good to his children.

It is true, that his ways are so far beyond what we can comprehend. But he has never failed us. Not in the loss of our two babies. Not in our years of infertility. Not in our darkest days of despair. Not once. And that, too, shows us that his ways are not our ways. A God who cares enough to meet us in the darkness, also promises to bring us into the light.

So as we walk through another April 2 with a house less full than we intended, we are thankful. Thankful for the blessings he has given us in these two boys. Thankful for the gifts he gave us in the babes we lost. And thankful that his ways are not our ways. They are always better.