Give Us This Day Our Daily Milk

I’ve never had to wonder where my next feed would come from. For as long as I can remember the low growls of hunger have been quickly satiated by a stocked refrigerator and pantry brimming with snacks. Hunger is not a pain I have felt acutely, except for when I wait too long to eat or am too busy (or lazy) to walk the five feet to the endless supply of food to meet my needs.

But I have felt the hunger pains of another.

Feedings have always been a source of anxiety for me as a mother. From the early days of the twins’ life, I cried as they struggled to eat on their own, only to be met with exhaustion from working too hard, causing them to choose sleep over food. Every meal matters for premature babies, but sometimes eating is just too overwhelming when you weigh five and six pounds at six weeks old. So I struggled and cried and pumped and cried. With each finished bottle we rejoiced. With each minute spent hovered over the kitchen sink washing pump parts and bottle parts, I quietly prayed I would never have to do this amount of work to feed my little people again. With each feeding I hoped in weak, new mother desperation that these ounces of milk would fill their hungry bellies and put fat on their little bones.

Over time it did. Over time they grew. Over time they enjoyed eating. Their desperate cries for food grew less frequent, and I started to forget what it was like to experience the hunger pains.

And now we have Seth.

Seth, who came out with a knife and fork (as the pediatrician likes to say). When you are nearly nine pounds at birth, your feeding situation is far less dire. But I’ve been reminded again of the desperation I felt in those early days with Luke and Zach.

While I’ve never been in want for food, I have held a baby who has forgotten that food will come if he will only calm down, trust his mother’s care, and receive it. I may not have to beg God for my daily bread to come down, but I do regularly find myself praying for daily bread to come through me for the well-being of my baby.

Like so much of motherhood, feeding Seth is an exercise of faith. I’m reminded with every feeding that the same God who cares for the sparrows, cares for my baby. The God who waters the plants with rain from above, also provides food for image bearers like my son.  “Give us this day, our daily bread,” I say quickly in a prayer, yet I fret and forget my hurried prayer when Seth doesn’t seem to get what he desperately needs through me—his only source of the daily bread I just prayed for.

God is in the business of stripping us of every ounce of perceived strength and self-sufficiency. So while I stare at my full refrigerator and basket full of groceries and think I’m not in want for food, I am brought to my knees in weakness when the most needy people in my life cry out in hunger and I don’t have the energy or supply to give it.

Like every weakness God gives us, this is a call to trust in the God who sustains everything, who is upholding the universe by his very word. The God who spoke everything into existence, made manna fall from heaven for the Israelites, and opens blind eyes calls me to trust that he will sustain my baby through me.

“Give us this day, our daily bread,” I pray again. “And give us our milk, too”

Fear and Feminism: A better answer to our fears

Yesterday we looked at how feminism was in part a response to very real fears women faced. Today we will look at how the Bible speaks to those fears and gives us a better answer.

Sarah knew fear, right? She was taken from her homeland and family with no hope of seeing them again (Gen. 11:31). She was barren with no hope of a child (Gen. 11:30). Twice she was given over to a pagan king because her husband feared for his life (Gen. 12:10-20; 20:1-18). And that’s just what the Scriptures tell us. You could say that fear was probably an ever present reality in her life.

What marked Sarah ultimately, and maybe not always in the moment, is her hope in God. Her unwavering belief that God would do what he said, that God would deliver on his promises to her, and that God would never disappoint her. This is why Peter, in 1 Peter 3:1-6 uses her as an example for us to follow, not because she did it perfectly, but because ultimately her hope rested in God alone. We know that she didn't actually do it perfectly. In fact, like us, she gave into her fears on more than one occasion that we know of (Gen. 16; Gen. 18:9-15).

But the context of 1 Peter 3 is a rather fearful one isn’t it? Peter starts by telling women who live with a disobedient or unbelieving husband how they should conduct themselves. He exhorts them to live their lives in such a way that their husbands see the conduct of their character and are won to Christ. A disobedient or unbelieving husband would make any woman feel a little fearful over the future, or even the moment by moment complexities of her day. That is why Peter provides us with an example to follow. He presents his hearers with a woman clearly understood what it meant to live with a husband who was not always obedient to the word, and his hearers would have known that. Then he gives us the punchline, the moment of truth for Christian women threatened by our fears:

And you are her [Sarah’s] children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening (1 Pet. 3:6).

This can encourage us even today. We, too, live in a frightening world. Our sin alone can scare us to the core. But there are countless other earthly realities that threaten our faith daily. I have had two miscarriages, which I’ve talked about before on the blog. One happened while I was writing the book and it was more complicated than we anticipated. It was so difficult that it caused my husband and me to wonder if we would ever try for another baby again. It rocked us and terrified us. I’ve also never had a pregnancy without some type of complication. This one carried minimal risk for a while (it’s resolved now), but it’s still not a normal one. Pregnancy brings out all sorts of fears for me. Will I ever hold Seth? Even as we get everything ready for his arrival, I battle a lingering fear in the back of my mind, will this all be in vain? Will I be stricken with grief again? Maybe your fears are similar, maybe they are different. But the reality of living in a sin-cursed world means there is a lot to be afraid of.

I don’t know what brings out your fears. Maybe it is a husband who doesn’t lead you like he should. Maybe it is the prospect of a life of singleness. Maybe it’s infertility. Maybe it’s a move that is on the horizon. Maybe it is family member who doesn’t know Christ. Maybe you have a difficult child or a difficult job. Maybe your bank account never seems to have enough money in it. Does the thought of your children leaving for college or driving a car for the first time bring you to your knees in fear? Are you fearful over school loans you feel like you will have forever?

The list could go on.

The answer for us all is still the same: We are Sarah’s children, if we hope in God and do not fear anything that is frightening. Feminism can’t remove our fears anymore than it can give us the power and autonomy we crave. It’s all an illusion. What we really need, what stands the test of time, is hoping in the God who knows the end of our circumstances, who is over every detail of our painful, broken lives, and who has promised to always do what is good for us.

It can be frightening to submit to your husband. It can be frightening to give your life to raising children. It can be frightening to face a life of singleness or barrenness. It can be frightening to embrace your season and give up a beloved career, rather than trying to have it all. It can be frightening to go to your job every day when you are regularly left wondering if the job will be there tomorrow. It can be frightening to pour your life into your local church with the gifts God has given you. It can be frightening to love your neighbors and enter their lives. It can be frightening to open your life up to friends, roommates, and family members. Life in a broken world is fraught with risk and fear.

In all of these areas, we are giving ourselves over for the good of another, not us. That is always frightening.

Left to ourselves we should be afraid. Hedged in, protected by our loving creator, we have nothing to fear. Feminism is not the answer to our fears or our deepest longings. Hoping in the God who created us, loves us, and promises us a brighter future is.

We are Sarah's children if we trust in our all powerful, all loving, all wise, and always good God and do not fear anything that is frightening, even the fearful reality of living in a fallen world. 

*If you want more information about how feminism has influenced us as women, you can order The Accidental Feminist on Amazon. 

The Pain of Motherhood

In a recent article at The Gospel Coalition, I wrote about Mary’s coming pain in the wake of Christ’s birth. Motherhood is filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and she was not exempt from such emotions. With the joy of her newborn baby’s birth came the dark shadow of his foretold death. She felt the sting of motherhood acutely throughout his adult life, and as she stood at his cross and watched him gasp for breath.

I've said before, motherhood, like many things, is a great equalizer for women. It takes women from all walks of life, all cultures, and all time periods and brings them together under one unifying purpose—loving a child. It’s why women cry at birth stories of strangers and weep over the caskets of children they have never met. We know the joy and the pain that comes with being a mother. We feel it in our bones.

But like everything in this sin-cursed world, every joy carries with it the reality of pain. With the overwhelming joy at the birth of a baby comes the paralyzing fear of SIDS. With the excitement of watching your young toddler takes his first steps comes the all-consuming fear that he may one day get hit by a car or run into danger. With the joy of watching your teenager drive away for the first time by herself comes the helpless fear that she may not always be safe on the road alone.

We all have lived long enough to know that every happy moment we face as mothers can in an instant be laced with soul-crushing sorrow.

So what are we to do when we face these fears, sometimes on a moment by moment basis?

It’s easy to look to the temporal, tangible realities staring us in the face as our assurance of hope, like the assurance of our newborn’s breathing patterns or making our toddler hold our hand at all times in public. We feel like we can control those moments. We can put our finger on them as markers of goodness and faithfulness towards us. But those markers aren’t always there, are they? When every earthly treasure gives way, Christ is all our hope and stay.

The psalmist has this to say about our fears:

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth (Psalm 121:1-2).

He didn’t look to what was happening around him, good or bad. He looked away from his circumstances to the God who lovingly controls his circumstances and is working them for his good. But the truth is, it’s hard to do when everything is crumbling around us, isn’t it? Trusting God with our circumstances starts when all is well, when we are overwhelmed with joy. Mary couldn’t contain her wonder at what God did through her and for her in the birth of her son. But this wonder is what would carry and sustain her when all seemed hopeless and lost.

The same is true for us. Walking the road of motherhood carries with it more emotion than I ever knew humanly possible. Giving your life for another does that to you. With the intense love I feel for my children comes the possibility of tremendous heartache. Where does my help come when my fears seem to be my undoing? Or even more devastating, when my fears become reality? The same God who gave me these precious gifts, is the God who sustains me in my fears and heartache as well.

Some Trust in Ultrasounds, But We Trust in the Lord

On September 29 the baby we lost earlier this year was due. Due dates are always hard when there is no baby coming. They are a reminder of what could have been. They are a reminder of a pregnancy that didn't make it to term. They are a reminder of empty arms. I've faced three due dates now with no baby inside of me. One was because the twins were born eight weeks before my due date. The other two were because I lost the baby in the first trimester. So I'm quite familiar with due dates.

But this due date was different. This due date was filled with anticipation. Not with anticipation over the grief I would feel that day, but because I knew what was coming the next day. I would get to see our newest baby for the first time. That's right, I am pregnant again.

I am also very familiar with ultrasounds. I have had a lot of them in my day. With the twins I had more than is possible to remember. But I've always walked into that first ultrasound with the same fear and trembling. Daniel and I barely talk in the waiting room. We know what could happen. We could either walk out of that room with pictures of our new baby or walk out of that room broken over the loss of another. On September 30 we were walking into that room for the fourth time, and at that point we had experienced more bad first ultrasounds than good ones. Because the last time I had an ultrasound was when I was still pregnant with the last baby we lost, the ultrasound log picked me up as being 40 weeks pregnant. So we had to explain to the ultrasound tech that we were in fact there for a our new baby and not the one from February.

We were scared to death.

But in God's kindness he turned our mourning into dancing by letting us see the beating heart of our newest little baby, due May 14, 2015. So far, all is well.

The first trimester is not nice to me, and this pregnancy has been no different. In fact, it's been a whole lot worse. As I'm slowly coming out of the non-stop sickness, thanks to medicine, I have found myself facing the same old fear that always plague me in pregnancy.

Will I lose this baby, too? 

Pregnancy lost its innocence with me a long time ago and I feel like it's God's way of pruning me and causing me to trust him with everything.

I find myself trusting in hearing a heartbeat more than I trust the God who made this baby's heart and keeps it beating this very moment. I find myself trusting in hugging the toilet bowl more than I trust the God who knit this little, nausea inducing baby together in my womb (Ps. 139:13). I find myself trusting in the passing of another week more than I trust the God who sustains the universe and numbers every hair on this little one's head (Luke 12:7, Matt. 10:30).

You see, it's easy to brush my fears off as normative. I've lost babies. I've had a high-risk pregnancy. I've had premature babies who had to spend five weeks in the NICU. Every part of my pregnancy history causes my anxiety to rise and makes me want to think I'm justified in my response to my circumstances.

But I'm not.

My fears are no different than anyone else's fears. We all have life experiences that inform our fears, but we are still called to trust in the God who is sovereign over our very lives.

The verse I keep coming back to is Psalm 20:7:

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.""

Maybe I don't have to deal with enemies seeking to destroy me every single day. But I do have the enemy of my mind that lies to me about God's goodness and care for me and my baby. We can insert any earthly means of assurance into this psalm and the outcome is still the same. God is on the throne and he is the only one worthy of our trust. No ultrasound, fetal doppler, baby kicks, or pregnancy symptom will be the assurance I need to sustain my faith. God alone is my help and my trust.

So it's in him I trust as I walk nervously through another pregnancy. Hopeful and excited for the life he has given us again.

Waiting for the Promised Land

I've struggled with fear and anxiety all of my Christian life. In many ways it seems that when I conquer one fear, another one is lurking in the shadows. Fear is my constant enemy. I've often thought that the constant refrain of my soul is "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!" This is my heart's cry as I seek daily to do battle with my ever present fears.

I just finished reading the book of Joshua. As the book came to a close for me, my fears were confronted with this comforting truth:

And the Lord gave them rest on every side just as he had sworn to their fathers. Not one of all their enemies had withstood them, for the Lord had given all their enemies into their hands. Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass (Joshua 21:44-45).

After years of wandering, failing, and being carried by God to the land he had promised, these words came true. I imagine as the people of Israel embarked on the conquest of Canaan, and now faced the prospect of entering this unknown land, many fears could arise. But here we see that in the midst of it God is keeping his promises. Every word he spoke to their fathers proved true. Every promise he made to them from the calling of Abraham, to the fleeing of Egypt, to the wandering in the desert, not one word fell to the ground.

So what does this have to do with my fears? I have no word from the Lord about deliverance from what ails me. I have no promise that I will be freed from circumstances that terrify me. I don't know that tomorrow will go better than today, or that my children will come to faith in Christ, or that my husband and I will live to see our grandchildren. I am not an Israelite and I do not have those promises passed on to me from my parents.

But do I?

In Christ I have been given a great inheritance. I may not have promises of earthly deliverance, like the Israelites did. But I have a better one. Through Christ, God is making a people for himself today in the same way that he was in Joshua's day. Through Christ, He is keeping his word to his children in the same way he kept his word to the Israelites, but even more so. Through Christ, I have the reward of eternal life, the promise that while my earthly life may not materialize into everything I hope it to be, my heavenly one will surpass my wildest imaginations. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, I have yet to reach the Promised Land. God's promise to sustain me on my sojourn is just as real as it was for them. God's promise to give me a land of rest and glory is just as real as it was for them. Like them, I must wait for that Promised Land and trust that it is coming. But I also have something better than what they had. They had the tradition passed down from their fathers through the Law, I have the promised Son who intercedes for me and makes me like himself every day. This is my assurance that this promise is coming for me, too. Christ is my guarantee that this is not all there is.

So where do I go when my fears assail me? To Jesus, the one who purchased me with his very blood and daily lives and pleads for me before the throne of grace. He knows my fears and knows that they are not the final word on my life. I am a pilgrim on this journey, like the Israelites of old. Every word that God has spoken will be true in my life because God can only be true to himself. 

God Hears Our Prayers

"Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!" -Psalm 4:1

This has been our prayer as we wait for the boys to come home. God has faithfully answered our prayers when we have been in distress before, and we have confidence that he will do it again. It's not our own strength that makes the desired relief possible, but the strength of his character and his righteousness. Left to ourselves we cannot do anything, but God is powerful enough not only to bring our boys home, but to conform us more into his likeness while we wait.

I have had to remind myself of his power and character over these last four weeks. I cannot make my boys ready to come home from the hospital. I cannot make them take their bottles and nurse well. I cannot make them gain weight. Only he can do it. Having them hooked up to monitors has only further reminded me of my helplessness and his power. He sustains our precious sons. He holds them in his hands. He orders all things. And he has been doing it since the very beginning of their lives.

So we cry out to him in these uncertain days. We are asking him to work and are depending on him for the ability to endure not knowing when their days in the NICU will end. And how do we know he will work? We know his character. We know he is good. And we know that he has worked in the past and he will work in the future. He has worked in abundant ways in our lives before, and as we remember we are reminded that he will do it again.

Will it always work out in the timetable we want? Not exactly. But he will act on our behalf. And that is how we can pray. In prayer we are crying out to the only one who can and will work for our good (Psalm 57:2, Romans 8:28). We daily fall on our faces before this great God knowing that he is good and will fulfill his purposes for us. That is our hope.

Psalm 77 is a great reminder for those wanting to remember God's faithfulness to his own. This is where we want to be--remembering God's faithfulness and mighty deeds. When we get discouraged, we want to remember. When we feel like we aren't making progress with the boys, we want to remember. God has done mighty things for us and he will not stop pouring out his kindness on us.

He has done great things and we are filled with joy. Oh Lord, help us to remember this truth in both the certain and uncertain days.

A Merciful God

For most of my Christian life I have always seen Elijah as this stalwart of the Christian faith. He stood against the ungodly, heralded truth when it was unpopular, and lived much of his life alone because of his work ministering to an idolatrous people. He certainly was a man who loved God and wanted God's people to love him too. Even his life ended in a spectacular scene with chariots of fire coming down from heaven whisking him away to glory (2 Kings 2:11-12).

Elijah was not your ordinary man.

Or was he?

Even though I have read of his life on a number of occasions, this morning I was struck by how his ministry ended. While I recognize that his life ended in a far more eventful way than I will ever witness in my lifetime (unless Jesus comes back), he didn't exactly model resolute trust in God up until his final breath.

Elijah had a hard road ahead of him. After dealing with the prophets of Baal he was a wanted man. Jezebel wanted him dead (1 Kings 19:1-3). The Israelites were not too fond of him. And as far as the book of Kings goes, he was pretty much alone. Being a prophet of the living God was a high and lonely task. So we find him hiding from it all (1 Kings 19:4-18). And who can blame him? Even after God confronts him in the cave Elijah never seems to fully recover the days of grandeur even though he continues ministering God's word. In a lot of ways that time in the cave was a pivotal moment in his ministry. It signaled the ending of his ministry and the beginning of Elisha's. When God called Elisha to follow Elijah, Elisha's enthusiasm stands in stark contrast to the lack of enthusiasm on the part of Elijah (1 Kings 19:19-21).

We aren't given the information behind his demeanor. He had spent a lot of time alone. He was persecuted for his ministry. And even when God was providing a companion and successor for him it was surely hard to see it. When Elisha came along he was at a very low point in his ministry.

I find this particularly comforting. Here is Elijah, a man who was given the task of bringing God's word to people, and he struggles to trust the very God he proclaims. He had seen God work in mighty ways, yet when the pressure of his life began closing in he believed the circumstances rather than the character of his God.

How often am I like that?

Now you could say that I have not seen God work like Elijah did, but as I've pondered Elijah's life I've begun to realize that I've actually seen him work in far more abundant ways. I live on the opposite side of the Cross. Elijah only had the hope that God would one day defeat his enemies through a promised Messiah. I have been changed by this Messiah. Elijah only had the hope that God would keep his promises to his people. I know because of Christ that every word God has ever spoken finds it's "yes" and "amen" in this Christ.

I have more reason to hope and trust because Christ has come.

But what moves me even more about Elijah's story is the abundant mercy of God. Elijah didn't deserve a successor. Elijah didn't deserve a response from God. And Elijah certainly didn't deserve such an amazing departure from his earthly life. But God did it anyway. I am faithless just like Elijah, and yet God does not repay me according to my unbelief. Instead he gives me more reason to believe that he is a good and trustworthy Savior.

Some might think that the imperfect men in the Bible discredit these precious words, when in fact they actually do the very opposite. They give truth to these words. The steady thread throughout the entire Scriptures is that we serve a merciful and gracious God. Salvation belongs to him alone. Put that truth next to fallen human beings like Elijah, Abraham, and even me, and God gets so much more glory because of it. I'm thankful for men like Elijah, not only because of the work they did for God's name, but also for the testimony they serve for people like me even after all these years.

The Unchanging Goodness of God

"Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted with grief; my soul and my body also. For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing." - Psalm 31:9-10

I read this psalm, through tears, on April 1, 2011. I still remember exactly where I was sitting when these words ministered to my soul. It was a rainy spring night. Daniel was at a bachelor party for a friend. I was sitting alone on the couch in our living room. It was the exact same place I sat weeping over our miscarriage seven and a half months earlier. And now I was faced with the due date of our precious baby and my womb was still empty. I was overcome with grief and pain. The sorrow surprised me. I thought I had come to terms with our loss, and yet here I was again grieving the shattered dreams and trying to pick up the pieces.

My womb would continue to stay empty for another year and a half. In those months and years following God showed up in ways I never could have imagined. I learned things about his character, his goodness, and my sin in ways I never would have known had everything worked out the way I planned it to be. For that I will be forever thankful. Miscarriage and infertility changed me, but it didn't destroy me, and that is all because of his amazing grace.

On August 1, I read that psalm again. It wasn't intentional, I was just reading through the psalms of the day. But just a few minutes before I read this psalm my life changed drastically.

I was pregnant.

I still have to pinch myself when I write those words. I am pregnant. It feels so surreal. As I read Psalm 31 again that morning I saw a little note penciled next to verses 9-10. A very different Courtney wrote, "My prayer. 4-10-11." It's been too long to see the dried tears on the pages of my Bible, but I'm sure they are there. For two years the psalms have been my comfort in my grief. They have carried me and reminded me of the faithfulness of God. They have given me hope that God will keep his promises to me, namely to give me a future with him forever. They have been my lifeline.

And they still are, just in different ways.

It would be easy to claim God's goodness in our unexpected blessing of twins at the expense of seeing his goodness in our miscarriage and infertility. But I assure you, his goodness has not changed. God is the same God today as he was on August 11, 2010 (when we lost our baby). He is the same God today as he was on October 25, 2011 (when we found out we needed more treatment for my endometriosis). In fact, it has only become clearer to me. God is over our sorrow and our joy. He is sovereign over our barrenness and our fullness. He is God in the lean years and the years of plenty. Circumstances do not dictate his goodness. And that is our hope.

The reality that God is unchanging in every aspect of his character is what carries us when our souls give way to sorrow and when the wave of blessing overwhelms us. Isn't that so comforting? We live in a world where devastating changes can happen in an instant. But we serve a God who never changes.

This has been my constant companion throughout this pregnancy. God is over every detail of our lives and he is always working all things for our good. Even when our circumstances cannot be trusted (which we all can attest to that), we can trust in the God who never changes.

Before Our Formation He Knew Us

Every morning I stare at a picture on my bedroom wall that has a silhouette of an unborn baby. In the picture the baby is held in the palm of God's hands. Underneath the picture is this verse:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." - Jeremiah 1:5

My mom bought me this picture shortly after we lost our first baby. For the last two years the picture has served as a memory of the precious life we never knew, but also as a painful reminder of what we were seemingly unable to have again. Every piece of the picture is formed by bible verses that talk about the value of life. As I looked at this picture every day I would often cry out to God begging him for the blessing of another life.

The picture took on a whole new meaning when we found out about this pregnancy, and now the twins. I have said before that fear has been a constant struggle for me. And while the picture once served as a memory of the baby we lost, it now reminds me daily that God is the one who knows our children better than I do. Yes, I am connected to them. Yes, my very life is the source of their life. But in the most real sense I do not truly know them yet. I only know of them. God, who is the sovereign creator of all life, knows them deeply. He knows what they will be like. He knows who they will look like. He knows their interests, their faults, the color of their eyes, and even the number of days they will live on this earth.

And this is why I can trust him with their lives.

While I am their mother and the one who will take care of their every need, there are many things I can never know about them because I am not God. This should give me reason to hope in his goodness, not retreat in fear. The reality of his knowledge of them is a precious reminder that he loves these babies even more than I do. Not only did he intricately create them, but he knew their very souls before he even created them.

God is not indifferent to these lives growing inside of me. In fact, he's the complete opposite. Down to the very hairs (or lack of hair) on their head, he knows and loves them more than I ever could. And that is saying a lot! I can trust him with these babies because he cares for me and them in ways that I cannot even begin to comprehend.

The truth I have to keep coming back to is that ultimately these babies are his anyway. Daniel and I are only stewards of these precious gifts. And because they are his I can give them to him in faith knowing that he loves them and knows them even now.

We Will Not Fear

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." - Psalm 46:1-3

I read this verse to my classes on Friday. I knew I needed it, and I know enough about people to know that I'm not the only one who must daily do battle with my fears. What I love about this verse is that the psalmist does not say that trusting in God will remove all frightening circumstances. That would only be disheartening to us all. If you live long enough you know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. But so does terror and suffering. The fallen world we live in promises that we will all be impacted by its rage at some point.

But what the psalmist does in the moments of fear is trust in the only one who can deliver him. Mountains being moved into the heart of the sea is enough to make anyone run and hide. I have never seen it. I'm sure if I did my heart would stop. The psalmist is saying that even if everything around him falls apart he will trust in God. God is the only one who can help him in such trouble. And why? Because God owns the mountains. God owns the seas. God owns every particle of this universe. There is nothing that happens outside of his sovereign will. And this is why we can trust him. Circumstances might tell us that they are the final authority in our life, but God's word says that he is. Circumstances might tell us that they will ruin us and destroy us, but God says that ultimate destruction will never happen to those who are his. Circumstances might tell us that we are alone and helpless, but God says that he will never leave us or forsake us.

In these terrifying moments it is tempting to look to our earthly provisions as our hope, but even those will fail us in the end. Instead we must say, along with another psalmist,

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." - Psalm 20:7

Delivered From Fear

I have talked a lot about fear on this blog, probably because more than any other sin in my life, fear is my biggest besetting sin. I imagine that I am probably not alone. Even now you can probably think of a myriad of fears that plague you on a daily basis. And when those fears rise up and threaten to overwhelm us we are so prone to think that if we can just get past that moment we will be able to truly conquer our fears. I tend to have markers for my fear. For example, when I am flying on an airplane I think if I can just get to cruising altitude, or at least halfway through the flight, I won’t be afraid anymore. My marker is my barometer for fear. My fear is based on the changing of my circumstances. But what inevitably happens? My circumstances don’t always change. The plane hits turbulence for the duration of the flight. And my trusty marker is not a worthy protection against fear.

The psalmist doesn’t look for markers or changes in circumstances when he is faced with fear. Rather, he gives us a foolproof way to fight our fears.

Seek the Lord.

David says, in Psalm 34:4, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all of my fears.” There are two things to notice immediately about this verse. The first is that David has fears. That’s comforting for all of us reading the Bible today, right? Here is the man after God’s own heart and he faces fears just like the rest of us. Second, we see that David does something with those fears that seems to remove them from him.

The remedy for fighting fear is not to set-up markers or to hope in better circumstances. We might hit the markers, but there will always be something else to fear. And while our circumstances might change for a little while, the fact that we live in a fallen world ensures that we will be dealing with frightening circumstances until we are with Jesus in heaven.

He will deliver us from our fears. This does not mean that our circumstances will necessarily change, but it does mean that we will have hope in the midst of frightening days. As we seek the Lord our perspective changes. We see the God who holds it all together. We are given renewed hope that he is in control, not whatever is paralyzing us with fear. When we seek the Lord in our moments of fear (and all of the time, really) we are able to trust him in greater measure. Seeking the Lord, as David did, is really an exercise of faith in the God who has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Fear can cause us to forget this very important truth.

Fighting fear is an active faith. It means choosing to seek the Lord even when the flaming darts of frightening circumstances are flying at our head a million miles a minute. But as David learned, so can we learn that seeking the Lord is the only lasting remedy for the fears that assail us.

Whenever I prepare for a flight I always have to do battle with my fears. And this is just one of the many fears I face on a regular basis. The fears might change, but the answer stays the same. The God who controls all things, including the outcome of my fears, is worthy of my trust. He has, and will continue to, deliver me from all of my many fears. All I need to do is seek him.

Putting My Eyes Where They Belong

Do you ever find yourself going to bed overwhelmed and anxious? Does the prospect of a new day, filled with new demands and new trials, cause fear to rise in your heart the minute your alarm goes off? Or maybe you have been living with a constant trial. The pain is relentless. There never seems to be any release. And just when there seems to be a little light at the end of the dark tunnel, fear and dread plague you. What if it never gets better? What if this prospective light is actually the beginning of another trial? It can be hard to hope when the cares of this fallen life are pressing in.

King David understood this predicament well. From early on in his life he faced persecution, abandonment, and scorn from people who were closest to him. For David, it would have been very easy to wallow in anxious thoughts in the midst of very trying times.

This is why Psalm 131 is so encouraging. We know from other passages of Scripture that David did not always have it easy, yet he reminds us of our place in God’s story. It reads:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
² But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

³ O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore.

I used to think that verse 1 was talking about arrogance and pride, as if David was admitting that he was not a prideful person. But a closer reading of the psalm, and a look at the surrounding verses, actually reveals something else. In verse 2 he explains that rather than concerning himself with things to high and lofty for him, he has instead calmed and quieted his soul “like a weaned child.” And it is a right understanding of this verse that gives helpful insight into both verses 1 and 3.

So how is a weaned child with his mother? What does this mean? A weaned child is content and secure in the arms of his mother. He is not pre-occupied with the weather, his finances, his job, or his circumstances. He feels safe in the tender protection of the one who has always cared for him, and this safety allows him to rest and not worry about anything else. David is saying that, like this weaned child, his soul is content and restful in the arms of his heavenly Father. God has promised to protect him and provide for him and that is his basis for his response.

So what does this have to do with verse 1? For David, to raise his eyes to high (as verse 1 says) would mean to ask God to explain things or to concern himself with things that are only for God to know and control. Many of the things of God are not all revealed to us. We are only given a small glimpse. Our inability to see all that God sees and knows is a reminder to us that we are not God. And isn’t this applicable for us today? When we attempt to be God by an overemphasis on control or demanding answers from the Almighty, we are doing the very thing David is talking about in verse 1. While it is not directly about pride alone, to attempt to put ourselves at the same level as God is a form of pride. And verse 1 is a subtle plea to step away from a sinful grasping for control that is not ours to have.

Focusing my gaze on things too marvelous for me takes my gaze off of the marvelous One. And it reveals my sinful desire for control and to be God. What is the hope for the psalmist in these verses? Hope in God. In verse 3, David gives us the way of escape. It is the way to quieting our souls and refraining from prideful grasping for idolatrous control. It is the point of the previous two verses, and the basis for our rest in trying circumstances. It is taking our gaze off of things that are not ours to control, and trusting in the One who controls all things by the power of his word.

There are a host of things that we face every day that tempt us to lift our eyes too high, or become preoccupied with things to marvelous for us. But this psalm reminds us that there is only one thing we must do in these moments. Run to the Savior, run to his word, and find rest for our souls in the promise that our great God is good, true, and keeps every promise he makes to us.

We Trust in God

I wrote this post on Monday afternoon. The verse had been on my heart for a few days as I was preparing to have surgery Tuesday morning. It was my second surgery in three and a half years and was supposed to clear up all of the endometriosis in my body. We had no inclination that it wouldn't be enough. God had other plans, and it was worse than we (or the doctor) realized. So we are now re-grouping. I'm trying to rest and recover and also grapple with the news that I still have some heavy treatment left before our infertility journey is over. It's been a rough few days. I find it ironic that I wrote this post about this particular verse with no idea what was about to unfold a mere twenty four hours later. But God did. God was not surprised by the diagnosis. He is still on his throne and he is still our sustainer and helper in this storm. We are thankful for so many people who have cared for us and pointed us to the One who heals the sick, restores the brokenhearted, and gives barren women a home. We trust in him alone.

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"Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." -Psalm 20:7

What do you trust in? We don't use chariots for transportation anymore. We don't ride horses and depend on them for our livelihood. In fact, most of us don't even own livestock. But this psalm still stands true in our lives.

Do you trust in your job? Friends? Family? Spouse? Doctors? Money? There are a whole host of things we are drawn to trust in when life presses in around us. David was no different. He is calling the reader to trust only in the God who gives us life and every good gift.

In verse 4 he says:

"May he grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans!"

He is the one who does it. As followers of Christ we no longer have to trust in things that pass away, like money, doctors, health, people, or our stuff. It will all fail us in the end. We trust in God, the maker of heaven and earth, and the keeper of our life.

God's Sovereignty at 35,000 Feet

Those who are close to me know that I hate to fly. And when I have a trip coming up that involves flying even the stranger on the street knows I hate to fly. I suppose it's some crazy way of coping with the fear, but when I have to fly every conversation leading up to the flight entails my deathly fear of the coming trip. The conversation usually goes like this:

Nice Person: “That’s so exciting that you get to go visit your family.”

Me: “Yes it is, but I hate to fly.”

Nice Person: “You know you are more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash.”

Me: “Yes I do, but I still hate to fly. I don’t want to be the statistic that doesn’t make it.”

Awkward. Actually it’s just plain ridiculous.

A few weeks ago I flew to visit my parents in Florida. It was a short, last minute trip, and while I was looking forward to seeing my family, I was not looking forward to the flight by myself. I've made numerous flights by myself in the last few years. The week leading up to every flight is always a battle with my fears. I talk about it. I over analyze it. I think of a variety of scenarios which only lead to more fears. My very active imagination runs wild in these moments. This time was no different. But this time something else happened. I was deeply convicted of my sin.

Yes. My sinful fear of flying.

Many of us face fear in a variety of ways (and I have written about that before on the blog). But while there are things to genuinely be afraid of, not every response to fear is appropriate. In my case, I was responding to my fear of flying with anxiety and worry. I believed my fears rather than God.

Our fears will drive us to something. The real test is if they drive us to the only one who can conquer our fears and provide the hope and security we long for. Fear should force us to cry out to God. Fear should drive us to the Bible. Fear should drive us to the Cross. I was convicted because for so long I have allowed my fear of flying (and a host of other things) drive me to my thoughts and my imagination rather than my Savior.

Dr. Stuart Scott, in his little booklet called Anger, Anxiety and Fear, has this to say about our fears:

“The more a person acts on his fears instead of going against them or pushing through them, the more afraid he will become. We must be willing to endure fear if we have to in order to obey God, to be responsible, and to love others (2 Tim. 2:3-4, 1 Peter 4:1).”

That is what I was doing. I was acting on my fears. They ruled my life, so much so that I started believing the anxious thoughts that consumed my thinking. This had tremendous implications for how I related to those around me. Anxiety and fear are self-focused by their very nature. My fear of flying was all I thought about whenever I had to fly. Those days leading up to my trip were all about me and my seemingly insurmountable fears. This self-absorption is the antithesis of what God calls me to as a follower of Christ.

So what happened when I flew a few weeks ago? I was still afraid to fly, but it was different this time. I wasn’t convinced the plane was going to crash. I didn’t tearfully say goodbye to my husband thinking it was the last time I would see him on this earth (yes, I’m a little dramatic). I didn’t close my eyes and nervously chant prayers while the plane took off. Sure, I was afraid, and I really don’t think I will ever get to the point where flying is my favorite thing. But I did have a trust that God would take care of me. He is just as much in control of a little plane in the sky as he is over everything else in this world that he has created. The most dangerous aspect of my anxiety over flying is that it takes me away from believing in my sovereign God. It’s a slippery slope to a whole host of other areas of unbelief.

All of the references to fear in the Bible are reminders that God cares about our fears. He wants our fears to be rightly directed towards him. This is our hope when our fears threaten to overtake us.

Because we live in a fallen world fear is inevitable. The sad reality is that planes do crash. Bad things happen to people all of the time, and many times to Christians. Until Jesus comes back we will face a constant struggle to not “fear anything that is frightening”, and steadily look to the one who is worthy of the right kind of fear. He holds our lives in his hands. He knows the outcome of every fearful circumstance we face, whether real or imagined, and he promises to keep us to the end.

Facing our Fears: Part 5

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, or Part 4

When the shepherds were greeted by the angel in Luke 2 the first thing they heard was “fear not.” Anyone who sees an angel coming out of the sky has reason to fear. It’s unknown. It’s scary. But they are told not to fear. Do not be discouraged if you are fearful today. We all are fearful of something. Some of us fear more than others. The reality is we live in a scary, sinful world. Bad things happen all of the time, and sometimes to people we love deeply. The curse is everywhere. And Jesus came to reverse the curse. By his death and resurrection, sin is conquered. Which means fears are conquered. We do not have to live as slaves to our fears any longer. Whether your fear is what people will think of you, or that your husband will leave you, or that you will never have enough food to feed your family—those fears find their death at the cross of Jesus Christ. As Christian women our hope in times of fear is God. God is working all of our pain, all of our suffering, all of our fears, and all of our happiness for our ultimate good and joy in him. Romans 8:28 says that for those who love God all things are working together for good.

That means our fears too.

Our fears, and the outcome of our fears, are working for our good and joy in Christ. That is our hope. He will do for us all that he has said—but sometimes it’s not until we get to our eternal home. I may never bring a child into this world alive. The outcome of that fear for me might mean barrenness. Or it might mean great fruitfulness from my womb. But God has not ceased being God. And he is still my only hope in times of fear, even if he never gives me a living child. So I ask you again, what are you fearing today? Are you reluctant to trust God’s goodness? Or are you clinging to him, like Sarah, as your only hope in times of fear and anxiety?

I will end with Isaiah 41:8-13 and Isaiah 43:1-3

“But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; you whom I took from the ends of the earth, and called from its farthest corners, saying to you, ‘you are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off;’ fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

“But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you , O Israel; ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

The flames of this life will not overtake us, dear sisters. They might burn us, and maybe burn us badly. But they will not ultimately destroy us. There will come a day when all things will be made new. We will see this grand hope he has called us to—our final salvation. And we will be with King Jesus forever. God created us and saved us for his glory. To serve him and worship him alone. He will keep us to the end. That is our hope in fear. As 2 Corinthians 4:18 says we look not to the seen, but the unseen as we wait for our expected hope, the outcome of our faith.

Facing Our Fears: Part 4

Read Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3

Facing our fears in a biblical way is not an easy task. There are many things that can pull us away from hoping in God. We are in a battle every day, a battle for our souls. In order to fight in this battle we need to be ready.

First, we need to know our Bibles. There are over 500 references to fear and anxiety in the Bible. Granted not all of these references are to sinful fear, in fact many of them say “fear not, I am with you.” The point is that the Bible is not void of help for us regarding our fears. Psalm 24:4 says that “even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Why does David have reason to fear no evil? Because God is with him. And in Psalm 34:4 David says again, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” Here we learn that David’s fears are relieved because he sought the Lord and God answered his cry. David teaches us how to find relief from our fears—seek God and lean into him.

Psalm 91 is a beautiful Psalm about the protection afforded to the one who trusts God and makes him her resting place. In this particular Psalm we find promises that God will rescue us in the day of trouble and deliver us from all of our fears. Like so many other passages, David is specific about how God will protect him and deliver him in Psalm 91. David is honest about his fears, but also honest about how he handles his fears. These are just a few of the many references to our hope in times of fear. Read the Psalms. There is raw emotion in the Psalms. They are honest. But they are also hopeful. We see God in the Psalms—and we see his work.

Know the characters of the Bible. Know their lives. Know their stories. It is in their stories that you will see God working even in the midst of great difficulty, pain, and fear. Their stories are our stories if we are in Christ. The Bible is full of rich truths that can guide us and lead us in our quest for godliness. We are not abandoned. We have a God who will be near and who has promised to never leave us.

We need to know the God of the Bible—the one worthy of our hope. The Bible tells us who God is, and it is who is he is that should be a great comfort to us in our fears. Isaiah 35:4 says, “say to those who have an anxious heart, ‘Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God He will come and save you.”Recompense means repayment. This passage is saying that God will repay, God will work for his children. We can trust God because he loves us and cares for us. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “for God has given us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Here Paul is telling Timothy not to be fearful about his call to lead the church. Timothy was a young man, he was probably inexperienced at pastoring a congregation. So Paul is encouraging him to believe in Christ’s work in his life and believe that God has equipped him for everything he has called him to. God is not a heavy-handed deity weighing down his might on us. He loves us and has not given us to fear.

We can also trust God because he is sovereign over all things. Psalm 115:3 says “our God is in the heavens, he does all that he pleases.” Proverbs 20:24 says that a man’s steps are from the Lord. Philippians 4:19 says that “God will supply every need according to his riches in Christ Jesus.” God numbers our days, he directs our steps, and he guards our lives. He can be trusted with our fears.

Third, we need to confess our fears to God. Philippians 4:6 says “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.” If he is a trustworthy and caring heavenly father like the Bible says, then he cares about our fears. He wants us to lean on him and hope in him when everything else gives way. We also need to understand that some of our fears are sin because they are unbelief in God’s promises for us. When we seek to control and manipulate, like Sarah did, we are acting out of unbelief in what he promised—and that is sin against him. We might need to confess not only for comfort but also in repentance for our lack of trust.

Fourth, and finally, we need to fear rightly. It might sound crazy after I have talked so much about not fearing. But the Bible does tell us that some fear is not sinful. In fact, it is commanded. Matthew 10:28-31 says, “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” The Bible is full of commands to fear God. He is the only one we are to fear. But it is not like we typically think of fear. It is a freeing fear.

Author Carol Cornish describes the fear of the Lord this way:

“The fear of the Lord is a good kind of fear. When we faithfully fear God, all our lesser fears leave us. Christians have been delivered from a terror-type fear of the Lord because God has poured out his grace on us and forgiven our sins in Christ…fearing the Lord involves regarding him with the greatest respect and reverence because we know the greatness of his being. We hallow his name. We don’t live terrified of God but, instead we live delightedly awed by him and drawn to him in love and the deepest respect.”

When we fear God all other fears fall away. Because we know our Bibles, because we know who God is and how he cares for us, and because we confess our fears to him, we can lean on him and fear him rightly because he is a good and faithful God who only wants our good.

Facing our Fears: Part 3

Read Part 1 and Part 2

In the last post, we talked about how Sarah faced many situations that could cause fear. But notice what the New Testament says about Sarah.

1 Peter 3:5-6 says, “this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

The context of this passage is on how wives are to live with their husbands, but the even greater context of this book is that Peter is giving us ways to live in light of the Gospel, and in the midst of suffering. In chapter 1 he tells us we have been born again to a living and abiding hope. In fact, the entire book of 1 Peter is about hoping in God—hoping in this inheritance promised to us—hoping in a coming final salvation. What is this living and abiding hope, this hope that enabled Sarah to not fear anything that was frightening?

Hebrews 11:11 says, “by faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised.”

Earlier in the chapter the writer of Hebrews tells us that “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

Author David Wells has this to say about a Christian’s hope:

“Christian hope is not about wishing things will get better. It is not about hoping that emptiness will go away, meaning return, and life will be stripped of its uncertainties, aches, and anxieties…Hope has to do with the knowledge of the age to come…Hope is hope because it knows it has become part of a realm, a kingdom, that endures. It knows that evil is doomed, that it will be banished.”

What he is saying is that we have hope because we know the end of the story. Sarah could hope in God because she knew that the outcome was sure. And we can have the same hope. Peter tells us in 1 Peter 1:9 that the outcome of this faith, this hope that God will keep us to the end and make all things new, the outcome of all of this is the salvation of our souls. We will be with Jesus in the end.

So Sarah is praised for her faith, even in the midst of her sinful attempts to control her own situation. How can she be praised as a faithful example? This should encourage us. Here a sinful woman is not only called a holy woman, but she also does not fear anything that is frightening. And we have seen that she faced some pretty frightening situations. How? Because she hoped in God. She believed in the promises to come. The promise that we now have—Jesus Christ. How do we live in a world full of fear and anxiety? We learn to hope in God, like Sarah did, and the way many women before us have. Is it easy? No. Will we fail? Absolutely.

It’s not an easy task. There are many things that can pull us away from hoping in God. We are in a battle, a battle for our souls. In order to fight in this battle we need to be ready. In the next post, I will talk about how we can be ready to fight this battle to hope in God.

Facing our Fears: Part 2

To read part 1, go here.

I think it’s helpful to start by first explaining why we struggle with fear. As Mrs. Ortlund said in her book, we have been fighting fear since the Garden of Eden. We live in a sinful and cursed world as Genesis tells us—and the entire Bible bears that out. You don’t even have to look very far into the world we are in now to see that things are not right. There are frightening things all around us. Disasters rage. Cancer destroys. Divorce happens. Violence permeates the news and our neighborhoods. The list could go on. Ever since the fall of man, in Genesis 2, we have been plodding through this life as sinners living in a sin-cursed world. This fearful life is not how it was supposed to be. Adam and Eve rebelled against God and sin spiraled out of control. Because of their sin, we too are sinners. And we also are sinned against. But if we are not given a spirit of fear but one of peace, how are we to live when everything around us is screaming terror and fear?

We are not the first group of women who have had to deal with fears. Consider Sarah in Genesis 11:27-12. There are three things to notice about Sarah:

1. She was barren. Genesis 11:30 tells us that she had no child. We aren’t given a reason for her barrenness, but we do know that for some reason she is unable to have a child. In this time period, being barren meant a far greater curse than it does today. Being barren is a part of the curse, and in that time period anyone who remembered God’s word to Adam and Eve would know that a woman who lacked a child lacked the ability to bring the promised seed into the world. People didn’t adopt or have fertility treatments. If a woman was without a child for her entire life it was considered to be a tremendous suffering. But notice what God says a few verses later. He tells Abraham that he will make him a great nation, and he continually tells him that his offspring will inherit the land. We aren’t given a glimpse into Sarah’s thoughts, or even Abraham’s at this point. But for them it surely must have seemed impossible. Barrenness/infertility seems like an insurmountable mountain to the one going through it. For Sarah, like so many women, being infertile would have brought moments of deep sorrow and anguish. She just wanted a baby. Anyone who has struggled with infertility understands, the absence of a much desired child can cause many fears to arise. You are left without any control, and sometimes no answers of when or if you will ever conceive.
2. Notice also that she had to move far away from her homeland. This was not a time of email or Skype. You could not send a letter to your family back home. You couldn’t find them on Facebook and look at their pictures. When you left, it was forever. And it was very likely that she never heard from her family again. Imagine traveling to a foreign land where you have never been. In those days you could not look up the city on the internet. There were no Real Estate agents helping them get settled. Yet, she goes. Again, we are not given her thoughts—but a circumstance like this one could again cause many fears to arise.
3. She was made to stay with a man who was not her husband. Later on in Genesis we see this happening again. But we are told in this passage that Sarah was very beautiful and Abraham feared for his own life because of her beauty. So he asks her to lie to Pharaoh and because of that she is taken into Pharaoh’s house. Her very life and purity were in danger as her husband subjected her to the harem of this king.

Now, Sarah was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. She was just as much a manipulator and deceiver as her husband. Even though she knew God’s promise that he would provide a son for them, Genesis 16 tells us that Sarah, in her impatience, takes matters into her own hands and uses her servant to bring offspring into their family. Of course, it backfired and conflict characterized their family from that point on. The point is that Sarah had cause to fear, like so many of us do. But her fears did not ultimately control her.

In the next post on fear, I will talk about what the New Testament says about Sarah and her ultimate hope in fearful circumstances.

Facing our Fears: Part 1

A little over a month ago, I spoke on fear to a small group of women from my own church and the women of First Baptist Church of Fairdale, KY. For those of you who know me, in my flesh I'm a very fearful person, so this talk was a much for me as it was for any of the ladies present. In the next few weeks, I am going to break it up into a series of posts. I have edited for readability and blogging purposes. Hope it is helpful.

In the 1965 movie, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Lucy asks Charlie Brown if he has “pantophobia.” “What’s that?” he asks her confused. “It’s the fear of everything,” she informs him. If you have seen the movie you know that she nails it. And he suddenly realizes that’s what he has—the fear of everything.

Maybe you can relate to Charlie Brown—are maybe your fears are much fewer. Jani Ortlund, a pastor’s wife and author from Nashville, TN, applies the tendency towards fear to women. In her book Fearlessly Feminine she says,

“Fear is a complex emotion. It can fuel us so that we strive harder to succeed. Or it can freeze us, so that we stay home eating cookie dough and reading the latest gossip magazines. Women today struggle with many fears.”

She goes on to say:

“The problem with fear is that it works so well. It motivates and influences us. It coerces us to conform. It drives us to compete. It prods us to perform. Fear has been part of our hearts since the Garden of Eden. When Eve took the fruit and ate it, she was motivated by fear—fear that she would miss out on what was ‘good…and pleasing…and also desirable’ (Gen. 3:6); fear that God didn’t really have her best interests in mind; fear that obedience would exact too high a price. And we have been assaulted by our fears ever since.”

Most of us can relate to these fears. We can probably add to them too. So what are your fears? How do you battle those fears? Do you hope in your own strength? What about your power? Or your ability to control? Or intellect?

God has much to say to us about our fears in his Word. But he also has much to say to us about our hope in the midst of these fears. My aim in these few posts is to expose you to the treasure trove of truth given to us in God’s word. The Bible contains everything we need to face our fears in a godly manner. So my hope for all of us as we embark on this study is that we would leave here with a bigger view of God and a greater appreciation for his word.

Holding on to Promises

Imagine being called by God to a people who would mock you, throw you in a cistern, and rarely listen to you. In the midst of persecution, you go and speak God’s words to them because God has promised to take care of you. But it isn’t easy.

The story of Jeremiah is a testimony to God’s faithfulness to his promises. But I wonder if Jeremiah was able to see the hope of those promises through the darkened clouds of his ministry. Knowing my own tendencies, it would be hard for me.

In Jeremiah 38 he is thrown into a cistern where he will surely die with no help. There is no food, no water, and no rescue in sight. But God had promised to protect him (1:17-19). How could this be happening? And it wasn’t the first time. He was constantly in danger for speaking God’s words to the King and was even threatened by the Babylonian exile. All the while, God’s earlier promise of protection echoed in his ear. “God promised to protect me in this ministry. What can man do to me?” It probably wasn’t always easy to think this way. Then again, this is only my speculation.

Like all of us, Jeremiah probably didn’t always see how the promised deliverance would be fulfilled, and being stuck in a mud hole left to starve doesn’t give a lot of hope of escape. We, however, see the other side. We know that there is another chapter coming and can see that God provided a way out. For Jeremiah, in the middle of it all, there was only a promise.

We face the same dilemma often, though on a much smaller scale. All we can see around us is mud rising, ready to swallow us up. Although God has not promised to always deliver us, he has promised to never leave us or forsake us—and to always work things for our good (Romans 8:28). We have the great promise that our lives are never lived in vain.

Perhaps it was all of Jeremiah’s experiences that led him to pen the great words “great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Surely it was. The book of Lamentations is no happy book, but it is a hopeful book. Despite all of the hardship and exile God was still working like he said he would—and Jeremiah knew that. He knew God’s faithfulness was great. He had seen new mercies every morning when it seemed like there was no hope.

As followers of Christ we have the same great story. Our God provides the same daily mercies for us that he did for Jeremiah. And we can proclaim along with the saints who have gone through much hardship and strife, that every day his faithfulness is great indeed.