"The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship": A Review

One of my overarching prayers for this year is that God would burn in me a desire (and the grace) to be a better friend. Like many, I love people and love having friends. But I have been convicted lately that if I want to have friends I need to be a friend. For the last two years I have used the excuse that life has been crazy trying to adjust to parenthood (and with twins, no less). However, I am not the first (nor last) woman to mother twins--so I can only use that excuse for so long. Of course, friendship looks much different for me now than it did when I was single and living with roommates. Friendships happened much more naturally back then. I lived with my closest friends. I ate meals with them, ran errands with them, and went to church with them. The depth of those relationships has carried them long after I moved away and got married.

Fast forward many years and I am in a different season of life. One that requires more intentionality and affords me less time. Sometimes I have to cancel a coffee date because I have a sick kid. A lot of my relationships happen within the context of my children, so Sunday morning fellowship, small group, and even play dates are a different animal now. 

All of these new revelations that I am coming to terms with are why I was excited to receive a copy of The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship by Jonathan Holmes. Holmes, a pastor of counseling at Parkside Church in Cleveland, OH, has helpfully provided a biblical framework for friendship. This short book is an excellent read for anyone desiring to grow in their understanding of friendship, but also who desires to be a better friend. Here are a few takeaways:

Biblical friendship is designed to point you to Christ. I left this book asking the question of all my friendships: "How can I point this friend to Christ?" But it would even serve the reader to ask how the friendship as a whole points you to Christ. The ultimate goal of biblical friendship is to serve the common goal of mutual sanctification and lifting high the Savior you both love. What a helpful reminder!

Friendship, like everything else, is marred by the fall. We will never have perfect friendships in this life. We were created for relationships, as seen most evidently in the fact that we are created in God's image and he is in perfect fellowship with himself (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). The fact that we crave companionship is a good desire. But because of sin, we selfishly pursue friendships. We are hurt by dear friends. We hurt the ones we love most. The answer is not to abandon biblical friendship, but to understand that it will never be perfect in this life. I needed this reminder. 

Friendship is more about us than about the other person, and most importantly it is about the perfect friend, our God. I found this quote particularly helpful: "I've come to learn that friendship flourishes best when we seek to be and embody the type of friend we see in God himself" (46). How often do I selfishly look at my friendships based on what they can offer me, but that is not the pattern we see from God. We offer nothing to him, yet he gives us everything. Our earthly friendships, like our other relationships, mirror the heavenly one set for for us in God.  

Understand your limitations. Holmes helpfully points out that we can't be all things to all people. True biblical friendship, he says, happens best with a small number of people. Even Jesus limited his inner circle to three. This is hard for an extrovert like me, but also a helpful reminder that I am human and have limitations. Identifying the friendships that God is already forging in my life and then purposefully working to grow them in a mutual love for Christ is a better model than trying to be BFF's with everyone.

As I finished this book I asked the Lord to make me the type of friend who not only is willing to do the hard work of fostering friendships that last, but also the type of friend who is humble enough to receive the honest correction and accountability that friendship affords. I don't like being confronted. I don't like correction. But I know it is necessary for growth in godliness. I want to be a friend who hears correction and receives it with humility. 

If you desire to grow in your friendships, or simply want to understand what God has to say about friendship, I highly recommend this book to you. As Holmes says in the book, we need community (particularly biblical friendship) in order to grow in godliness. We are not made for "substitute relationships", but for lasting relationships that point us to our Savior. May we all be such friends.

Books I Enjoyed in 2014

I'm a couple of days late to the party for favorite books last year. It's still early January, so it counts, right?

Every year I am amazed at the privilege we are given to have such an abundance of books at our fingertips. While this list isn't exhaustive, nor is it reflective of books written just in 2014, it is a list of books I really liked last year. I hope you will find something in this list that you can enjoy yourself in 2015.

Extravagant Grace by Barbara Duguid
I reviewed this book on the blog. I think it's one I should read every year.

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms by Gloria Furman
Here is a short review of this one as well. If you are in the motherhood trenches, this book is for you.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Butterfield
I received this book from my parents and read it in two days. Her story captures your attention and reminds you that Christ's power over salvation can reach anyone. Her final chapters on life after her conversion are especially moving as you see her love her children from all walks of life.

Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton
This book came highly recommended from a friend of mine and I'm so glad I read it. Written against the backdrop of apartheid in South Africa, it is a moving story of prejudice, injustice, and forgiveness. And it is beautifully written. It also reminded me that I need to read more fiction.

True Beauty by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre
Not your average beauty book, this book is a breath of fresh air for all who struggle with what it means to be truly beautiful (and that's probably everyone!). I reviewed it here.

Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin
This is a book I hope every woman in our church reads at some point. I finished this book wanting to know my Bible better, and I've heard other friends say the same. She establishes the basis for Bible literacy and then gives you the tools to accomplish the task. If you want a more robust understanding of Bible study, this book is for you.

The Measure of Success: Uncovering the Biblical Perspective on Women, Work, and the Home by Carolyn McCulley and Nora Shank
I think this book can be a paradigm shifting book for many women with regards to work. I'm especially thinking of their focus on the seasons of a woman's life. While our culture doesn't lend itself to women and work in a variety of season (i.e. accomplish everything when you are young), they help the reader see that for everything there is a season and there is value in understanding your place in that season.

Teach Us to Want by Jen Pollock Michel
Jen makes me want to be a better writer. But she also makes me want to know God more. She has a gift for making words come alive. By drawing you into her prose, she helps you better understand your own desires in light of Scripture. This book won the Christianity Today book award for 2014 and I'm so glad it did. I interviewed her here.

One thing that stands out to me with the books I enjoyed this year is that most of them are written by women. I'm so encouraged by the many female writers that are out there right now. They are an encouragement to a new writer like me, but also help all women see the value of studying Scripture for every woman. I imagine 2015 will be no different!

Learning from Hannah More

Earlier this Fall I received a copy of Fierce Convictions: The Extraordinary Life of Hannah More--Poet, Reformer, Abolitionist. I couldn't wait to read it. I had been hearing about this book from Karen Swallow Prior for a while, and the more I heard about Hannah More, the more I wanted to get to know her. I think you will too. Here are some brief observations about her life that really stayed with me. I hope it will make you want to read the book (there is still time to get it before Christmas!).

• Her accomplishments as a woman in her time period. Hannah lived in a day where women were not educated like men were. Women had little rights and voice in the powerful ranks of society. But Hannah was an exception. She did not embrace the early feminism that was rising up in her day, instead she understood her creation as a woman and used it to accomplish great things. 
• She valued female education. In a Western context it's easy to take this for granted. But for many women in our world this is still a very real means of oppression. She taught women to read, to think, and to use their mind for good. But she saw a clear distinction between teaching women to think and making women think like men. "She sought to advance female education in order to fulfill women as women, not to make them like men" (24).
• She was brave enough to go against her culture regarding slavery and the treatment of all human beings. It's easy to look at history from our vantage point and think Hannah's positions on the deplorable practice of slavery and the refusal to educate lower class people are simply no-brainers. But we must remember that she was standing up for things (abolition of slavery and education of all people of all classes) that were unthinkable to many English men and women. Like every society, we have our own blind spots, and like Hannah, we must ask God to reveal these blind spots and give us the courage to stand against the tide.
• She had a consistent ethic regarding the dignity of persons and creation. One of the more surprising, and interesting, aspects of her life to me was how she fought for the ethical treatment of animals. It might seem like a random addition to a book on her bravery as an abolitionist and educator, but the more I learned about her the more I realized that it all goes together. Hannah believed in the dignity of people because they were created in the image of God. She believed in the fair treatment of animals because she valued God's creation. Her high view of God enabled her to honor and fight to protect all that he had made. 

Those are just a few of the many things that struck me about her compelling and convicting life. I hope you will take the time to read Fierce Convictions and discover the myriad of ways that Hannah More's life means something for us today.

How to Work Out Your Salvation

"We are to strive for growth with all our strength and to work to put sin to death within us. But we are to do so in a way that is always mindful of our inability and weakness so that we do not despair." -Barbara Duguid (Extravagant Grace, 220).

Extravagant Grace: A Review

I received a copy of this book at the bloggers gathering at TGCW14 over a month ago. The title, Extravagant Grace: God's Glory Displayed in Our Weakness, by Barbara Duguid (P&R), caught my eye immediately. I feel weak often. I am overwhelmed by my sin on a regular basis. This book, I thought, must be written for me.

I could not have been more right.

It is a rare occasion that I finish a book sad to see it end. At over 200 pages, I honestly wished for it just to keep going. Not because it was incomplete or in need of greater explanation, but because it was good for my soul. I was opened to a fresh understanding of my indwelling sin and its purpose in my own sanctification. I was confronted with the glory of Christ's death on the cross and his righteousness that covers me. I was encouraged to remain steadfast in my fight against sin and my trust in the Savior. I just wanted to keep reading in order to drink deeply from the well of truth contained in its pages.

This book reminded me of three crucial truths about the Christian life.

The value of prayer. Duguid reminds us that only God can change a person's heart. He is the one who grants the new birth in Christ and changes a person day by day. Because of this we should pray fervently for God to work in the lives of people. I was encouraged to pray for family members who don't know Christ and for friends I know struggling with besetting sins. I was convicted to pray for myself. I know that there is just as much besetting sin in me as the next girl. No amount of willpower will get rid of it for me. I need the supernatural work of God to change me and make me more like himself. The good news is that he has promised us this very work in his word, Duguid says. We aren't praying blindly, but with bold faith for God to do what he delights to do--humble his children and make them like himself.

The reason for indwelling sin. This point is probably the greatest takeaway for me. Duguid says that God wants humble children, which is one of the primary reasons he leaves us with indwelling sin. Sin humbles us. It shows us our desperate need for a Savior. Because of our tendency towards self-sufficiency, if we had been wiped clean of our propensity to sin at conversion we would fail to give God glory for this cleansing. Indwelling sin keeps us on our knees and gives God glory. It also makes us long for heaven more. Only on that final day will we truly be cleansed from the sin that entangles us. While God sees Christ when he looks at us now, there will come a day when the full, sinless righteousness of Christ will cover us completely. Heaven is our final home. We will see God in all his glory because we will be like him, perfect and whole. This truth should make us ache for that day. Our sin reminds us that we are not there yet--not even close. Come, Lord Jesus!

The importance of a long term view of the Christian life. Because our salvation is an "already, but not yet" reality, we need not be discouraged when we are not yet there--or when those around us aren't either. Duguid says that God is the one who gives people differing degrees of faith, sanctification, and resistance to sin. Some of us struggle with certain sins all of our lives. But because of the final day, when our sin stains are cleansed in their entirety, we can have hope for the present. God completes the work he starts in us and in our friends and family.

Uses for the book. Because of the nature of the book, it is a really good option for any type of book study. There are in depth questions at the end of each chapter that bring the points of the chapter home. Duguid is a biblical counselor, so she is skilled at getting to the heart of matters. There are multiple questions, so if you were working through the book in a book club or small group, you may, for the sake of time, go through only two or three questions in a gathering. But if you wanted to use the book in one-on-one discipleship or personally the questions would be really useful.

One of the main points of the book is that she interacts with John Newton and his teaching on the Christian life, indwelling sin, and God's grace. It made me want to buy the writings of Newton immediately! While I was always helped by her interaction with Newton, the back cover of the book states she turns to Newton "to teach us God's purpose of our failure and guilt." This is true to some extent, but she doesn't use him as much as I thought she would. This is not a critique by any means, because I think the book is perfectly complete on its own. It's more an observation than anything else. I suppose by interacting with Newton, even if it was less than I anticipated, she did her job. I want to read Newton now. And read this book again and again.

What is True Beauty?

I don't know about you, but I struggle with the way I look way too frequently. Even before I had the twins, I was constantly worried about if my hair looked good enough, if I looked thin enough, if my outfit was cute enough. It's an endless race that no one ever wins. The grass is always greener on the other side and we are never satisfied with what we have been given. And that's just plain wrong. I will be the first to raise my hand of confession and say that I have idolized the world's definition of beauty for far too long and it has to stop. In God's providence, this helpful book came in the mail a few weeks ago, and it rocked me to the core.

True Beauty by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre is a breath of fresh air to a beauty obsessed soul. If you struggle with what stares back at you in the mirror every morning or feel yourself fighting comparison when you walk into a room full of well-dressed ladies, this book is for you. But if you also want to know what God's version of beauty is and how you can have it, this book is right up your alley. I was so encouraged by this little book. I happened to be recovering from surgery right around the time it arrived, so I finished it in 24 hours. It's that good, friends. I leave you with a few quotes to whet your reading appetite.

"True beauty is to behold and reflect the beauty of God" (p. 35).

"Feelings of inadequacy about our appearance often arise because we feel we deserve better than what we have" (p. 39). Ouch! But so true!

"Some of us may parade our beauty for our own glory. Some of us may brood and worry over glory unattained. Most of us do a little of both. But whenever we try to get attention and admiration for our own beauty--whether or not we are successful--we are robbing God of the glory that only he deserves" (p. 42).

"If our diets and workouts become all about our appearance and how others view us, we are chasing self-glory, and not giving glory to God" (p. 55).

"A gentle and quiet spirit is not a personality trait. It is the quality of a woman who meets adversity--slander, sickness, rejection, and loss--with a calm confidence in God" (p. 81).

"Though many women become hard and bitter as they grow old, a woman who trusts God, who pursues a gentle and quiet spirit through the many trials and temptations in her life, grows more radiant and lovely, even as she wastes away. Her beauty is an imperishable beauty, after all. This is the powerful, living paradox of true beauty" (p. 92).

A Heart for Diversity

The subject of race has been a polarizing topic in our country for longer than any of us have been alive. In many ways, the lasting effects of the racism that divided us are still entrenched in many communities. If we move into the church, we find that even among God’s people, diversity and freedom from race divisions is still a longed for reality.

 

How should God’s people think about diversity in light of our history and his word? What does diversity in relationships look like? How does the fact that we bear God’s image play into our thinking about diversity and race?

 

My friend, Trillia Newbell, author of the new book United, enters this conversation with grace, conviction, and boldness. Through her own story of longing for diversity, worshipping as a minority in her own local church, and subsequently finding diversity through two dear friends, she shows us God’s plan for making a people for himself from every tribe, tongue, and nation. It truly is a beautiful sight to behold.

 

Trillia speaks not only to subject of race, but very real issues in our own hearts as we think through relationships with people who are different than us. As a chronic man-fearer, I was convicted and encouraged to not look to myself in situations of fear and self-awareness, but to look to the God who secures my identity in Christ. Through her personal story of diverse friendships, she shows us that God’s plan for diversity often comes to us through relationship. It is in community with other believers that we grow in Christ but also grow in our understanding of how uniquely different we all are. It is easy to gravitate towards the people who are like us and pull away from the ones who are different, even if they share our skin color. But Trillia shows us that because of our standing as image bearers of God and now his children through Christ, we have more in common than we tend to realize.

 

United is a refreshing read for anyone who longs to see the biblical promise fulfilled that God is securing a people for himself from every tribe and tongue. I know I do. Which is why reading United ignited my passion once again not only for diversity, but to see God’s name declared throughout the world.

Order it on Amazon

The Gospel for Moms

People prepared me for a lot of things before the birth of my twin boys last year. I received advice on everything from sleep training, my own impending lack of sleep, the difficulty of learning to be a parent, and that in reality you are never really prepared. I was fully prepared to feel completely unprepared when those two little ones burst on the scene. And they did with complete surprise (eight weeks early!). We were as unprepared as we were ever going to be.

I knew my life would be turned upside down, but since that had never happened to me before I didn’t really understand what to expect. And no one really prepared me for the fact that even the simplest things that I once held dear (like quiet time reading my bible or a good book, or the ability to focus while praying) would be left at the hospital with my former life. The last thirteen months for me have been about getting my bearings back.

Gloria Furman knows what it’s like to have “mommy brain” and no time to think. She understands full hands and an exhausted body. She spends her days pouring out all of her energy for her husband and four kids. Yet she has learned how to trust and treasure Christ in the midst of this seemingly mundane life. That is why she is the perfect person to write a book about this very topic. In her newest book, Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms, she speaks to women in the trenches of motherhood and offers the very encouragement she speaks to herself. With this book you feel like you are speaking to a trusted friend, one who knows your struggles and has real help for you right where you are at. For a busy mom, who can often feel isolated in the daily grind of caring for young children and a home, this book offers exactly what we need—more of Jesus.

I found myself wanting to write down nearly every other sentence because of the nuggets of truth that were packed into even the fewest of words. Reading this book felt like Furman was speaking directly to me, as if she knew what my daily life looked like. And that’s the beauty of this book. There is something for every mom. If you struggle to find a quiet place to commune with God, Furman assures you that Jesus is not confined to a comfy chair in the wee hours of the morning. He promises to meet you where you are at, even if it is at the changing table or the kitchen sink. If you find yourself weighed down by your endless quest to be the “perfect mom,” Furman shows that while no mother is remotely close to perfect, we do have a perfect Savior who is sufficient to cover all of our sins and failures. If you feel yourself losing sight of the goal in this whole motherhood thing, Furman lovingly reminds us that we are parenting eternal souls who will never die. Motherhood is about tomorrow and eternity, she says. While she helps us feel the tremendous weight of this calling, she also points us to the tremendous joy it affords us.

Throughout the book, Furman reminds us that while we are weak, Christ is always strong. This is good news for weary moms who simply cannot add one more thing to an already overflowing plate of responsibilities. So if you are a weak, needy, desperate mom this book is for you. You will find on these pages that Christ is sufficient, his gospel is true, and his promises are all you need to faithfully do all you have been called to as a mother to your children.

 

Interview with Nancy Guthrie

I have admired Nancy Guthrie and her writing for a while now, so I was honored to be able to interview her for The Gospel Coalition. The topic was her most recent book, the next installment of her bible study series called Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament. I have had the privilege of reading all of these studies and The Lamb of God: Seeing Jesus in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy did not disappoint. When our church is able to have a women's bible study, I really hope we can use these studies. They are excellent. They are rich with biblical truth, engaging, and open up a less often studied part of the Bible by women. Here is a taste of the interview, but you will really want to go and read the whole thing.

How can we, this side of the Cross, benefit from studying the Pentateuch---and Exodus through Deuteronomy in particular?

This story of salvation is really our story. Israel's emergence from slavery shows us how God brings us out of our slavery to sin. We are saved only as we come under the covering of the blood of the lamb. Only as we "stand still and see the salvation of the Lord" do we pass from death to life. Our story is one of being guided and provided for as we walk through the wilderness called life in this world.

Only when we grasp how the various sacrifices dealt with sin can we grasp the full forgiveness provided to us in the once-for-all sacrifice of Christ. And only when we see how the purity laws allowed for what was unclean to be made clean and what was clean to be made holy can we grasp that we who are unclean can be made clean through the sacrifice of Christ, and that we who are clean can even made holy so that we might enter into the very presence of God.

Read the rest here.

Why I Teach and Write

The school that I teach at assigned every teacher a book to read over the summer. One huge benefit of teaching at a Christian school is that they can assign us Christian books to read. We had the option of choosing between two books, so I chose John Piper's Think. When I went to Bethlehem, one of the advantages of being a member was that we received his newest book as a token of appreciation for freeing him to write. I must say, I miss those days. I'm fairly behind on my Pastor John library! So I was really excited to have the opportunity to read Think.

This book made me pray. Hard. As he unpacked the purpose for our thinking and studying I was overwhelmed by the task of teaching young people God's word, and to even write about it on a blog. It's sobering to to think that all of it could be in vain if it does not serve one very distinct purpose--to glorify God. Here is the quote that stood out to me the most, and one that I will go back to over and over again this semester. We are all thinkers and teachers in some capacity. And what we think about and teach to others matters tremendously.

"All branches of learning exist ultimately for the purposes of knowing God, loving God, and loving man through Jesus. And since loving man means ultimately helping him see and savor God in Christ forever, it is profoundly right to say all thinking, all learning, all education, and all research is for the sake of knowing God, loving God, and showing God."

Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Book Review

As a marriage and family teacher, I am always looking for helpful resources on a biblical understanding of marriage, purity, and sex. That's why I was really excited when I learned about this new book by Gerald Hiestand and Jay Thomas, Sex, Dating, and Relationships: A Fresh Approach.

I found myself saying "Yes!" out loud on a number of occasions as I read this book. And I could hardly put it down. Young people today are immersed in a faulty understanding of sex and relationships. The authors understand this and seek to counter that with more than what has been offered in the past. They say:

"Many Christian singles today lack a clear, biblical vision for sexual purity and relationships that extends beyond a truncated 'don't have sex' concept of purity" (11).

The entire book goes much farther than this age old mantra by first giving a biblical framework for our understanding of sex and purity, namely that God's plan for creating sex was to image the spiritual oneness between Christ and the Church (27). Everything God does relates to his image. He wants to be shown forth rightly in this world. And our responsibility as image bearers is to obey his commands. When we engage in sexual activity outside of marriage, we are actually telling a lie about our Creator we were made to image. And he owns the image, meaning he gets to tell us how he wants us to image him. This foundation profoundly shapes the way we talk about sex and purity with today's young people.

From there they talk about why the "how far?" question is insufficient, and then lay some principles for thinking through male/female relationships. Perhaps the most helpful thing they do is define biblically what those relationships are to be. The Bible only gives three categories for male/female relationships: family, neighbor, marriage. Only one of those relationships is permitted (and even commanded) to engage in sexual activity--the marriage relationship. This means that if you wouldn't do it with your neighbor or your brother or sister, you should not do it with your girlfriend or boyfriend. The question "how far is too far?" suddenly becomes irrelevant, or at least more serious. They provide some really helpful comments on the actual lack of commitment that comes with dating relationships, calling it a "mirage". While marriage is a covenant that should guarantee commitment, dating is not, and the other party is allowed to leave at any time with no real consequences, essentially exposing the real dangers inherent in a dating relationship. I found these distinctions extremely helpful in thinking through how I teach these things to my students.

Their chapters on a new definition of dating are sure to be the most controversial with people, but I think they are on to something. They propose a new category of relationships for singles called "dating friendships". These relationships are designed to be intentional in the same way others have talked about biblical dating, but the only difference is that the relationships also includes a level of romantic purity designed to protect both parties from becoming too emotionally attached too soon. Essentially, in a dating friendship both parties would grow as friends with their eye on marriage, but they would not view the other as uniquely there own until engagement. They take their cues from the relationship between Christ and the Church. He only has one Bride, one relationship, and one love, and that is his Church. Focusing on getting to know one another serves one purpose: is this person someone I could (and want to) marry? If so, the man proposes and the couple gets married. Our modern dating culture assumes that romance and dating (and sometimes sexual activity) is necessary for finding a spouse. But the authors present a very clear, albeit counter-cultural, approach that could save a lot of young people from unnecessary heartache. And I would imagine it would expedite a lot of weddings, too.

My only critique of the book was regarding their brief discussion regarding masturbation and other areas of the purity debate. They provide a helpful framework for thinking through such things, especially linking our actions to our motives and our heart. But at one point, in an attempt to encourage those who have stumbled into sexual sin, they say that we should not wallow in guilt over our failure in the area of lust and masturbation (123). While it is true that in Christ we are no longer guilty, and that guilt can be an unhealthy obstacle to joy in Christ and his finished work. Sometimes guilt is a good thing if it causes us to see hidden sin in our lives and drives us to repentance and faith. Especially in the arena of sexual purity there are some instances where the guilt is healthy and necessary for a person to begin the process of change. This section would have been served by such a clarification.

Overall, I loved this book. In fact, I'm thinking of using in my class this semester and at some point integrating it into my curriculum as required reading. It is counter-cultural, but if we are going to make any headway in this problem if sexual impurity in our churches we are going to need to do something radical, like go back to the Bible and see what God says. This is what the authors set out to do, and I think they do it very well. If you work with singles of all ages, this book is worth your time.

God is in the Heat

"It is incredibly encouraging to realize that the Bible addresses the world as we know it. God makes it very clear that he understands the Heat we face every day. It isn't always pleasant to read the honest stories of Scripture, but it is comforting. We realize that we will never face an experience, no matter how dark or difficult, that would be a shock to our God. The hope and help God offers his children reflect his knowledge of the full range of human experience..."

"Life on earth is a wilderness. Each day we face unexpected difficulties, and even blessings knock us off our path! In it all, God works to expose, change, and mature us. He has not forgotten you or the promises he made to you. He has not left you to the limits of your power and wisdom. In ways that are glorious, yet often hard to understand, God is in your Heat. He calls you to turn from questioning him to examine yourself. Where do you question his goodness, grace, and love? Where do you toy with the idea of going back to "Egypt"? When do you neglect daily Bible study and worship? Where do you struggle with anger, envy, disappointment, and blame.?"

-How People Change, Paul David Tripp and Tim Lane

One of the most helpful things I've learned in the past few years is this concept of Heat and Thorns/Fruit. We all face Heat in a variety of ways. While the Heat can be difficult, it does not dictate our response to it. It only reveals what is already inside. Heat has a way of doing that. But what has been even more encouraging to me is that God is in my Heat. He has ordained my Heat. He has promised to sanctify me in my Heat. And he will bring me through it. I am not left to myself and my own sinful responses. I have a God who is there and who will never leave me or forsake me. If you are struggling with lasting, biblical change in your life (like me), this book is so helpful in identifying sin and providing hope for change. It was an encouragement to my soul.

Unbroken: A Review

****Warning: Spoiler alert (This post contains spoilers. If you want to read the book, you should probably wait to read this post!)

For the last year or so I had been hearing about a book called Unbroken. I would see it recommended on a blog or Facebook, or hear about it in a conversation and wonder what all the talk was about. While I enjoy learning about World War II, and appreciate movies that tell the stories of the war, I found it hard to believe that I would actually like a book that chronicled the life, plight, and survival of a Pacific POW during the Second World War.

Boy was I wrong. This book is amazing—at least in my humble opinion. Just ask my husband. I could not put it down. I even kept it after it was due to the library so I could finish it late one night (bad, I know). And it was totally worth the extra 20 cents I will have to pay. By the time I finished the book I felt like Louis Zamperini (the main character) was my friend. So much so that when I saw that he was on Jay Leno the other night I contemplated staying up late to watch him. I didn’t. But it crossed my mind.

So why did I enjoy this book so much? Besides the fact that it was just a really good story that rapt my attention, there were some key things that struck me as I read it. Maybe it will peak your interest too and cause you to run to your local library and grab the book.
First (and most obvious) is the power of the human will to survive. This is a book about a man (and multiple men) living through horrible suffering both at the hands of human beings and at the hands of nature. Many times I thought to myself “I could never survive that.” But I would imagine thought that before those moments too. In the face of tremendous suffering, God gives people common grace to endure. Even when Louis wanted to die and leave the horrors of the POW camp, he held on. Why? I think partly because deep within every human being is the reality that death is unnatural. God created us to live, not die. Sin brought death, and ever since that day we have been looking for ways to fight death and live forever. Even when all hope seems lost at rescue Louis, and many of the other men, held on because deep down they really wanted to live.

Second (and most heartbreaking) is the depravity of man. Any notion that we are somehow growing more enlightened, and thus less sinful, is shattered in studying any war, especially this one. The violence that Louis and the other men faced was atrocious and inhumane. The fact they survived it is a mercy of the Lord. These parts of the book were hard to read, but it allowed me to really grasp how something like this can haunt a man for the rest of his life. And it did for so many of them. A lot of the former POWs never recovered from the trauma of these camps, and I now see why. Reading this was a reminder once again that sin is a nasty enemy that strips any hope of goodness from our very being. We are a depraved people in desperate need of a Savior.

Third (and most hopeful) is the power of the Gospel displayed in the book. What made this book even more remarkable was the redemption Louis experienced. After returning from Japan he faced an uphill battle of painful memories, recovery from injuries, and addiction to alcohol. In many ways, his life saw little improvement even though he was free from the confines of a POW camp. Every effort to rid himself of the horrors he experienced came back void until he was confronted with the Gospel of Jesus Christ preached by Billy Graham. When Christ invaded his life and regenerated him he was a new man. Gone were the nightmares and binge drinking escapades. Gone were the fits of rage. Gone was his hatred for those who had abused him in Japan. His changed life was a reminder of the sufficient power of Christ to change a life. Only when Jesus broke through was healing, forgiveness, and change possible.

So those are my thoughts on the book. I liked it so much that I was sad when it was over, which is always a good sign. If you are interested in World War II, a good story, history, or all of the above, run—don’t walk—to your library to get the book. It is summer after all, and this book makes for excellent poolside reading. Trust me, I know.

Book Review: When God Weeps

I just finished reading When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, written by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steve Estes. I have read snippets of Joni's writing over the years, but never actually read a full book by her. Now I'm wishing I had started reading her writing earlier in my Christian life! A reader commented a while ago asking what books I recommend on suffering. I've read a few over the last couple of years, but I would have to say that this one might be the one that has helped me the most. It's a solid biblical response to suffering coupled with a tender care for the reader. If anyone knows and understands suffering, it's Joni Eareckson Tada. What she writes is born out of the often bitter school of suffering, but the glorious truths that she has learned shine forth so evidently in this book. She and Estes strike the right balance of rock solid theological truths about God and compassionate care for the sufferer. As I read I felt like they knew my heartache and were inviting me into their living room to learn from all that God has taught them in their pain. They understand what you are going through, and they want to help you see God for who he is even through tear-filled eyes.

The book is divided into three sections: "Who is This God?", "What is He Up To?", and "How Can I Hang On?". They helpfully begin by unpacking God's role in suffering, his purpose in suffering, and even his pain in suffering. I was struck by the reminder that God not only is completely sovereign over every detail of my life, but that he also is with me in my suffering, bearing my burden, and has himself faced pain and heartache in order to bring me to himself. He is a God who is in the details. After giving us God in all his glory they move into the purpose of our suffering and the hope we have in the midst of it. In the chapter titled "Gaining Contentment" they lead us through our hope in Christ and our means of contentment--a resolute trust in God's perfect plan and in finding our hope only in him. Contentment is not merely about will-power, but about trusting in the sufficiency of Christ to meet all our needs. He is a Savior who suffered, knows our pain, and promises only good for us.

Very rarely does a book move me so much that I can both hardly put it down and be on the verge of tears all at the same time. There were many occasions where I wanted to scream "Yes!" at the top of my lungs because I was so moved by God's complete sovereignty and abundant care for us. It is a Christ-centered, biblically rich book that moved me and gave me great hope in our gracious God. It's not too heavy for someone in the midst of suffering, but it's rich enough to provide the only resource that will bring any encouragement to a weary soul. They helpfully point to the God who is there, always caring, always working, and always loving through every pain and sorrow we bear.

If you are in the midst of suffering, I encourage you to get this book and work through it. You will not be disappointed. If you know someone who is suffering, buy the book, read it first, and then give it to your friend. They will be greatly encouraged both by your care for them and your interest in their life.

Interview with Nancy Guthrie

This morning, Her.meneutics (the CT women's blog) posted an interview I did with Nancy Guthrie. She is the author of the Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament bible studies that are published through Crossway. The most recent bible study (the second in the series) will be out at the end of this month, and it is as good as the first one. I have been able to review both the first and the second for The Gospel Coalition, and I loved every minute of each one.

If you aren't familiar with Nancy, you should be. She is a prolific author, having written and edited a number of books with topics ranging from Christian holidays to dealing with the death of a child. I'm currently reading Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering and it has ministered to me greatly. If you want to get to know her better through her most recent bible study, you can read my interview with her. And if you want a thorough Bible study that exalts Christ, then get her first two studies. You will be glad you did!

Give Them Grace: A Book Review

I have not had the privilege of parenting children yet, but I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family who walk through task of parenting on a daily basis. One of the things I hear the most is that parenting is hard work. It takes a lot of grace and a lot of prayer. And more than anything else it takes a daily dependence on Jesus Christ. As a pastor's wife I'm sure there will come times when I am asked for resources on parenting biblically. There is a lot of good stuff out there, but there is also a lot of bad stuff. That's why I'm thankful for Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson. This mother/daughter team recently authored the book Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids With the Love of Jesus. I was asked to review it for Her.meneutics (the Christianity Today blog for women) and the review was posted yesterday. I loved the book. Even though it's not applicable to me directly right now, it helped me understand my own sinfulness and greater need for Jesus, which I'm so thankful for.

So if you are a parent, soon-to-be-parent, longing-to-be-parent, or just a friend to a parent, I encourage you to read the review, and even better, read the book! It will serve your soul.

The review can be found here.

Studying Ephesians

One of the reasons I decided to go to seminary a few years ago was because of a firm belief that women need theology and serious Bible study. I wanted to gain a solid foundation so I could teach women the Bible someday. I'm always excited when I see a new resource for women that helps them dive into God's word and equips them to study theology. That's why I was so thankful to review Wendy Horger Alsup's book, By His Wounds You are Healed: How the Message of Ephesians Transforms a Woman's Identity, for The Gospel Coalition Reviews.

If you are looking for a serious study that is geared towards women, this is for you. It would be fine for personal study or even a larger group study with women. Either way, it's a really great resource and a gift to women in the Church. Read the review for yourself, but I'm sure you will find it as helpful to you as it was to me.

Review of The Undistracted Widow

I don't have a missions focus for today primarily because I do these for my church's Wednesday evening prayer service and they were a week behind, so I had this week off. So I'm sorry there is no "Missions Wednesday" this week. But it will be back next week.

If you are interested, here is a link to a book review I wrote for The Gospel Coalition's book review site. Carol Cornish wrote an excellent book on widowhood called The Undistracted Widow. As I say in the review, this is a book that no one wants to have to buy for a friend or family member. But when a loss occurs, in time, it might be a good book to provide a dear sister who has lost her husband. Of course, it would be even better if you read it first! Even though her book is geared towards widows, she has some insightful appendices for how the local church can help widows. And her Christ-exalting language throughout the book is good for anyone going through grief.

But don't take my word for it, read the review and decide for yourself!

The Way of the Wise: A Review of Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild

If we were asked to think of a “wild woman” a person or type of person would typically quickly come to mind. We can all think of her right? She is usually the girl we don’t hang out with, because of her bad reputation. She is the girl flirting with the boys in school, or the girl buying the bikini at the mall, or the girl at the clubs and bars every weekend night. But she certainly isn’t in our homes or churches. She couldn’t be, could she?

What if when we thought about who described the wild woman we looked in the mirror for a change. That is exactly what Mary Kassian does in her book, Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild. She holds up the mirror of God’s Word and shows us that all of us are the wild woman at heart, and we need a new heart to make us into the wise woman that God calls us to be.

She begins the book by combating pride immediately. There are two types of readers of this book, those who already know they are wild and want help, and those who think they are wise and need to understand that they aren’t. Kassian shows us that all of us are “Girls-Gone-Wild” and we need to be changed.

One of the things that I have always appreciated about Kassian’s teaching and writing is that it is saturated with Scripture. She knows her Bible and it shows. The entire book is a contrast between the “Wild Woman” of Proverbs 7 and the “Wise Woman” that Proverbs so often speaks of.

The book is definitely worth reading for multiple reasons, but there are three things that stood out to me as I read this book.

To be a wise woman means getting a new heart. Kassian says that, “A woman who attends to her heart will attend to her ways.” For Kassian, the entire book is built on this premise—the heart reveals our treasure and our desires. She shows that if a woman’s heart is captured by Jesus, then she will walk according to his ways. If her heart is captured by the world and its pull, then she will walk in the ways of the world. According to Kassian (and I think rightly), the heart must be transformed first before any of the following points about wise living can be fulfilled.

To be a wise woman means understanding what God says about womanhood. This isn’t the entire point of the book, but it’s where Kassian is going ultimately. Kassian is decidedly complementarian in this book and in everything else she writes. Feminism’s lure has been at us since the Garden, and to be a wise woman means to understand how God created you to be. She takes us through the entire biblical history of gender starting with creation. Understanding gender, she asserts, helps us know how to live. The wise woman understands that God created her with boundaries, and these are good and wise limitations.

She says: “The fact that woman was created within boundaries of a household also implies that women are to have a unique responsibility in the home. This is consistent with the idea that a woman metaphorically keeps her feet (and heart) centered in the home, rather than outside it. For the woman, nurturing her relationships and keeping her household in order takes priority over other types of work.” (133).

To be a wise woman means to be countercultural. From boundaries, to entitlement, to dating, to sex, to honesty, to our tongue, to our view of possessions, to dependability living wisely according to God’s standards means we look a lot different than the world. We go against the grain. Every chapter is filled with the cultural norm countered with the biblical mandate. In the chapter on sexual conduct she shows us how God designed sex for our good within the confines of marriage. She says, “The problem is not that we value sex too much—but that we don’t value it enough” (136). We settle for lust and seduction rather than the true beauty of marital sexual fidelity. And so often we settle for a big list of “don’ts” instead of understanding the “why not” behind it. As Kassian says, marital sex displays God’s glory. Anything outside of these parameters brings dishonor on the Gospel.

It’s hard to fully convey the value I think this book has for women of every age. We are so easily pulled by the world, and often we don’t even realize our tendency towards wildness. Kassian is a breath of fresh air in a polluted and filthy environment that we find ourselves in.

She ends with a powerful admonition: “will you join the quiet counterrevolution of women who are committed to living according to God’s design?” It’s a hard task, but not an impossible one. God is big enough to change our hearts and lead us in the movement. Imagine what could happen if women across our churches read this book and asked God to chisel away the Wild Woman in them and begin making them into the Wise Woman. Let’s begin praying that God would be pleased to make it happen.

Broken-Down House by Paul David Tripp

Living in a sin-cursed world is hard. It is devastating, painful, and very difficult. Learning how to live in this world is often a challenge. Paul David Tripp, in his book Broken-Down House: Living Productive in a World Gone Bad, walks us through life in this fallen world—this broken house. Everything around us is screaming that this is not how it is supposed to be.

Daniel and I had the opportunity to hear him speak on this topic earlier this year. One of the most helpful things then, and in reading the book, was the idea that often we want the grace of release, when God really wants us to have the grace of refinement. As Tripp points out, this desire often comes from an unhelpful understanding of who we are. We want our rights. We don’t think we are as bad as we are, or even could be. Therefore we don’t see the need for refinement. We think we deserve release. Understanding how to live in this world, as Tripp says, must first begin with a proper assessment of who we are as contributors to the fallen, but also as redeemed sinners.

As redeemed sinners we are to live out a ministry of reconciliation and restoration. This fallen world should make us angry, Tripp says. But it should not make us sin. God is angry at sin, but he never sins. He is good and angry. I don’t know about you, but I am very often bad and angry.

He says, “God’s anger is the anger of grace. It is not the violent anger of unbridled fury. God’s anger always works to right what is wrong. That is what grace does. This gracious hanger has to sides to it: justice and mercy.”

Tripp will go on to say that this mercy works to do four things: convict (produce sorrow for wrongs), forgive (cancel our debt for wrongs), empower (give us the ability to do what is right) and deliver (clean out sin). The greatest picture of these things is at the Cross.

If God cares so much about these things, we who have been adopted by his grace should care too. The entire second half of the book is about doing things in this broken-down house, and I found it extremely convicting and also very helpful. Our lives are supposed to be ministry, not a slot filled out on a card. In order to live this way, we must live radically, Tripp says. He explains that we have a “dissatisfied Savior.” He is dissatisfied because this is not how his Father’s world is supposed to be. He is working to restore people to right relationship with God through his completed work. Tripp rightfully assesses that as believers our problem is that we are too satisfied with our lives.

“We are easily satisfied with an externalistic and episodic Christianity that lives most fully on Sunday morning. We are easily satisfied with an approach to theological knowledge and biblical literacy that does not reshape and redefine how we live. We easily are satisfied with marriages that are more marital détente than they are pictures of one-flesh unity. We are easily satisfied with raising children who learn to jump through behavioral hoops, but don’t really have hearts for God. We are easily satisfied having casual relationship with neighbors who live in darkness and desperately need to see the Light of Life. We are all too content to lower our standards enough to participate in entertainment that is increasingly perverse in its depiction of life.”

I was sad when the book was over. I couldn’t get enough of it. Maybe it’s because it hit a little close to home this time. After reading this section I was floored. I know my tendencies towards all of those things. But I want to be like my Savior and be dissatisfied. I don’t want to settle for life in this broken-world. Rather, I want to work with all of my might to help people see the only One who can fix and restore what seems to be irreparable. And his name is Jesus.