A Women's Issue We Can All Get Behind

I have been pregnant four times. Each of those times I received prenatal care for as long as I was pregnant. When I had complications I had not one, but two doctors who provided me with the necessary care for my pregnancies. When I have had a hard time with nursing, I have lactation consultants I can visit. My children see the doctor when they are sick and for well-child visits. I'm privileged. Unfortunately this is not the case for many women all over the world.

This is why I love and support the Child Survival Program through Compassion International. This program supports mothers and babies to give them the care, education, and tools needed to live past early childhood (when many children are vulnerable to illness and death). They provide prenatal care, vaccines, breastfeeding help, and literacy for the mothers (because studies have shown that when mothers are educated, they are better able to care for their children). What I love most about this program is that it is all done within the context of a local church. One key aspect of their ministry is that they partner with local churches to care for people in their communities.

As a Christian woman, I care deeply about the well-being of women throughout the world. When mothers have the education, tools, and care they need to provide for their families communities thrive. Why? Because mothers are vitally important to a society. And mothers who feel like they have the resources to confidently and safely care for their children do even better.

The Child Survival Program does this all in the name of Christ. The Gospel is ever present as they meet very tangible needs in communities all over the world. So if you are looking for a ministry to partner with as you end 2015, I hope you will consider the Child Survival Program. As pro-life, Christian women, we should be the first to link arms with women in need throughout the world, offering them life-saving measures for them and their babies. We can put our money where our mouth is, by showing that not only are we pro-life, but we give to causes that sustain life, too. We can have an impact on the spiritual well-being of a mother and her child by meeting her physical needs, but by also meeting her spiritual needs. This is a women's issue I am proud to stand behind. And I hope you will join me.

How to Love a NICU Baby (and His Momma)

Premature babies don’t cry. At least mine didn’t. They make a labored grunting sound that seems sweet at first, but then you learn that it’s because they are gasping for air to fill their under-developed lungs. And that is anything but sweet.  I’ve never forgotten that silent operating room where I welcomed my twin boys into the world eight weeks early. In the fast-moving moments of their early and unexpected arrival, I held my breath in fear over the unknown path that lay before me. Premature babies don’t cry, but their mothers make up for it.

I’ve stood in a dark neonatal intensive care room with a fellow mom, as we stared at our tiny babies. She preparing to leave to go home, me preparing to stay there for the next five weeks. Our babies weren’t leaving, she just couldn’t afford to stay in the hotel next to the hospital any longer. Life and death are happening in the NICU—life is sustained by faithful doctors and nurses, and death is always around the corner as fragile babies fight to survive in a world they weren’t meant to enter just yet.

Loving premature babies is a pro-life issue.

It might seem strange to fold a discussion about premature babies into one on life.  But they are linked. Today marks the end of Prematurity Awareness Month. Unless you know someone who has passed through the NICU, or passed through the NICU yourself, you might not even know that this month of awareness exists. But it’s a vital component to our discussion on the sanctity of life. For a long time 24 weeks has been the big milestone for viability. If you can carry your baby until then, your baby has a much greater chance of survival. After 28 weeks the long-term effects of prematurity aren’t as severe. Babies born after 34 weeks often cannot be distinguished between babies born at term by the time they reach their first birthday. Medicine has come a long way in how it cares for tiny babies. And here is where the pro-life argument is strengthened. The irony of these life-sustaining measures is that doctors and nurses are daily working tirelessly to save the lives of babies that are legally considered life unworthy of protecting. Every day, doctors and nurses use their skills to heal and care for babies that are legally unprotected while inside of the womb. In some states a 24-week baby can be aborted, but in all states a 24-week baby is given a chance at life if born.

But the reality that all lives matter goes beyond just the babies in the incubators, though they absolutely matter. Like abortion is not just a tragedy against an unborn baby, so a premature baby is not separate from a mother who loves him or her. In some cases, babies are in the NICU because of something the mother has done or because the mother does not care about the baby, but in other cases the mother is deeply impacted by the separation from her baby. As one NICU nurse told me on a particularly difficult day, “you aren’t meant to be separate from them yet. It’s okay to feel the pain of that separation.”

As Prematurity Awareness Month comes to a close, how can we as Christians love both the premature babies and the mommas who yearn for them? Here are a few ways:

Hold the babies: There are a variety of reasons a baby may not have parents visiting. Sometimes it is because the parents live far away or need to go back to work. Others it is because the parents have done something to contribute to the baby’s prematurity and therefore don’t (or aren’t allowed to) visit. Many hospitals allow for volunteers to hold the babies that are well enough to be touched. Physical touch for a premature baby is a life sustaining measure. All of the wires, incubators, and tubes in the world can only do so much to recreate the womb for a baby who is not supposed to be outside in the world yet. Physical touch, while it seems small, is actually a very helpful and purposeful way to honor the life of these tiny babies.

Love the mommas: The separation the mother feels is unnatural to her. It feels like a part of you is missing. Pumping in a sterile hospital room, transporting milk to the hospital every day, separation from your baby (or babies), medical terminology you aren’t familiar with, and recovering from a physically traumatic event all contribute to emotional and physical fatigue. There is so much unknown. Will my baby survive? Will he have long-term health problems? Will I be able to care for him if he does? Our church provided meals for us the entire time we were driving back and forth to the NICU, and arranged for transportation for me to get to the hospital every day since I was unable to drive. This transformed my experience and gave me the energy I needed to care for my babies. But even as I type this I recognize there is a lot of privilege that is wrapped up into my NICU experience. I didn’t have to go back to work. I lived near the hospital. I could afford to stay at the hospital if I wanted to. I could even afford to eat lunch at the hospital if I stayed later than I anticipated. I had insurance that provide a hospital grade pump for me. I am married and didn’t walk through the difficulty alone. Prematurity is often tied to poverty, and it is a vicious cycle. From the chance to receive good prenatal care to the care needed after hospital discharge, pregnancy alone is overwhelming to someone living in poverty, and adding a premature baby to the mix only heightens that feeling. As Christians, we could do a lot to bolster our argument for the value of all life by loving pregnant women well (especially those in poverty) and loving mothers of premature infants well (especially those who feel all alone).

Every day there are fragile babies lying in a hospital room somewhere who if they were still in utero are legally allowed to be killed. I’ve seen them with my own eyes and held them with my own hands. The more we advance in our understanding of how a baby can survive outside of the womb, the better our argument against killing them inside the womb gets. The pro-life cause wins when babies live and thrive at every stage—from eight weeks early to five days late. The pro-life cause wins when we acknowledge that pregnancy isn’t just about a baby, but a mother, too. And loving NICU babies and their mommas is a good place to start in practically living out what it means to be pro-life.

****This post is in support of the Evangelicals for Life Conference put on by the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission (January 21-22, 2016 in Washington D.C.). If you are interested in attending or viewing the simulcast you can register here. 

In The Next 40 Years

In the next 40 years, I pray that our country would see it's endorsement of abortion as reprehensible as it's once approval of slavery.

In the next 40 years, I pray that millions more babies are born because of brave mothers who choose life over death.

In the next 40 years, I pray that thousands more crisis pregnancy centers would open up all over this nation and would continue in the work of saving the lives of the unborn and caring for scared mothers.

In the next 40 years, I pray that the idea that an unborn baby is a mere fetus would be a sad part of our past, not part of our national rhetoric.

In the next 40 years, I pray that my children and grandchildren live in a country where the killing of the unborn is as atrocious to all as segregating based on race is to us.

In the next 40 years, I pray that churches and Christians would continue in the brave endeavor to love pregnant mothers, adopt orphaned children, and serve at pregnancy centers all across this nation.

In the next 40 years, I pray that a post like this is not necessary because abortion is illegal.

Abortion on demand was legalized ten years before I was born. I don't even know a world where abortion is not part of our national conversation. I don't even know a world where abortion is not an option for a pregnant woman. I pray that one day that is no longer the case.

For all the babies who never got to experience the light of day and breathe their first breaths, God knows your names. And we have not forgotten you.

When Motherhood Begins

This video has been making the rounds lately. And I will admit, it makes me a little emotional when I watch it. I think Carter's captures the feelings of a mom well in this short commercial, and they certainly are gaining a following because of it. But while the commercial moves me for the obvious reasons, one line always bothers me a little bit.

"When a child is born, so is a mom."

I get what they are trying to say, but I think they miss the mark. Our culture sees motherhood as beginning at the same time it sees life as beginning--at birth. But as Christians, we believe that life begins at conception. Wouldn't it be a logical conclusion that motherhood begins at conception as well?

While I cannot hold my babies yet, have no idea what they look like, and don't really know their needs, I still am their mother. I make daily decisions based on their welfare. I don't drink coffee anymore. I hold the rail when I walk up the stairs. I eat when I'm hungry, instead of trying to finish one more task. I go to the doctor when I'm supposed to. I wonder how they are doing all of the time, even though I can't see them. My protective and nurturing instincts will only grow when they are outside of my womb. My motherhood may be more involved than it is now, but that doesn't mean it's not motherhood.

I am not simply a gestational carrier for an unknown blob of tissue. I am a mom carrying my sons. Their lives have value to my husband and me, not only because we see them as our children, but also because we see them as precious image bearers of our God. Motherhood begins at conception because a child is made at conception.

Pregnancy is as much about growing into motherhood as it is about growing a baby. From the very early stages we must learn to sacrifice for the good of another. If morning sickness (which really should be called all day sickness) is not the definition of sacrifice for your child, I don't know what is! We learn in every stage of pregnancy what it means to love, care for, and protect this little baby growing inside of us.

So even though I enjoy the Carter's commercial, I wish it said a little more. A mom is born when a baby is conceived, and she only grows more and more into her motherhood with every passing stage of development.

When Life Begins

Many eyes were on Mississippi today as they ventured out to cast their vote in the important “personhood legislation” known as Initiative 26, stating that personhood begins when an egg is fertilized by a sperm. It is a polarizing piece of legislation that has led to harsh rhetoric from a variety of angles. I have not followed this story very closely, but one article that I read today enraged and saddened me.

Arthur Caplan is the director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania. He wrote an opinion piece posted on msnbc.com regarding the implications of this amendment. He states:

“Fertilized eggs could be granted human rights, depending on how Mississippi voters cast their ballots Tuesday on Initiative 26. The ballot measure, otherwise known as the "personhood" amendment, proposes to amend the state's constitution to redefine "person" to include "every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof." Among other things, it could mean that couples who have turned to fertility clinics for help becoming parents won’t be allowed to ever destroy their unused fertilized eggs.”

And this, he says, is in direct opposition to science—namely what we know about the conception process. Fertilized eggs cannot be considered human beings, in his opinion, because science does not allow for it. Science, he says, only calls a fertilized egg an embryo when it implants successfully in the uterus. And even then it’s not a baby yet.

What’s even more troubling about his conclusions is the fact that he brings miscarriage, stillbirth, and fetal death into his argument. He asserts that because nearly half of all pregnancies do not result in a living, breathing baby, those “fertilized eggs” were never really human after all. Using disappointed parents as his example, he says:

“Sadly, all too many couples know about the high rate of spontaneous abortion and stillbirth that haunts embryonic and fetal development. Roughly, one in six embryos will spontaneously abort or produce fetuses that do not develop properly and die in utero.”

Perhaps the most saddening statement of all, he further adds:

“Medicine and science know very well what many millions of heart-broken would be parents around the world know first-hand: To call all embryos “persons” flies in the face of spontaneous abortion, stillbirth and fetal death.”

What? How does calling a miscarried or stillborn baby “fly in the face” of this death? As a mother who has lost a child through miscarriage, I resent the sentiment that my loss proves to me (and the scientific community) that the baby I was carrying was actually nothing more than an ill-formed, fertilized egg. And I don’t know any woman who has experienced pregnancy loss who has felt what Mr. Caplan seems to think is the norm.

The problem with his views, and the views of many who dismiss pregnancy loss as a product of nature running its course, is that their views are informed by cold scientific theories rather than God’s word.

Psalm 139:3-4 and Jeremiah 1:5 were a great source of comfort to me in the days following our loss. God’s word taught me that our baby, even though he was still in the early stages of development, was known and loved by the God who created him. These verses, and the entire Bible, speak to the reality that so many mothers know to be true—life matters to God.

If we don’t define personhood from the beginning (at fertilization) then when does it begin? When there is a heartbeat? When the baby starts moving? When a woman sees those wonderful blue lines confirming pregnancy, she doesn’t tell her family and friends that she is carrying a fertilized egg (though according to Mr. Caplan that is the scientific name for it). She announces that she is pregnant with a baby, not a blob of tissue waiting to be developed into a person. When she finds out the gender of her baby, even though the baby cannot live outside of the womb, she names him or her. To her, this baby is loved, cared for, and wanted.

What Mr. Caplan fails to realize in his piece is that for the parents who lose children at various stages of pregnancy the loss is felt acutely—and often stays with them for a lifetime. My baby was not a fertilized egg that failed to develop, Mr. Caplan. My baby was a life, known by God and loved by his parents. He was a person at the moment of conception.

Laura Bush on Abortion

Last week Laura Bush discussed her views on abortion (and other things) on Larry King Live. Based on what she said, she has been, and still is, in favor of abortion rights. Many things could be said about this information, but the thing that struck me most was the fact that she is a woman who is affiliated with conservative views. And not just any woman, a woman married to a president who was praised and endorsed for his commitment to being pro-life.

This says a lot about the need for women, especially Christians, to be committed to and vocal about being pro-life. It is a blessing when godly men exercise their calling as protector and defend women and the unborn. But, there is something very profound about a woman who stands for life in the face of many women who would say she is “abandoning the sisterhood.”

For pro-choice women, a pro-life husband and pro-choice wife makes perfect sense. In their minds a man holds that position because he’s never the one who is pregnant. But a pro-life woman can be perceived as confusing—and anti-woman.

Just because a pro-life man can be explained away as a chauvinist doesn’t mean he needs to stop being pro-life. The same goes for a woman who is labeled as backward and anti-woman. God is the author of life. Babies in the womb are image bearers of our King, not issues to be flippantly discussed and argued over. As much as the abortion movement would like to say that we are autonomous and have rights over our bodies, the reality is they never were our bodies to begin with—they were (and still are) God’s. He is the author of life and he decides when life ends.

I think it is sad that a woman who in some ways claims conservative principles would be so quick to be in favor of keeping Roe v. Wade as law. But it makes me wonder what would happen if an army of pro-life women joined the cause to be defenders of the unborn, even when women of their own political party are against them. People would watch.

(HT: Denny Burk)

Why I Am Pro-Life

Earlier this week a good friend of mine posted a "guest post" that I wrote about being "Completely Pro-Life." She has asked various friends and bloggers to write about what it means to be pro-life in every stage of life. I chose to write about being an advocate for life in the womb.

On a side-note, I really value Amanda's blog. She and I were both writing majors together in college, so we have been reading each other's thoughts for a while now. Her thoughts keep getting better, in my opinion. She has a gift for writing compelling stuff. It makes me think. It makes me pray. And it makes me ask God to equip me to be a better and more fruitful wife and keeper of my home.

Back to my post. We tend to think of the pro-life issue in terms of political parties. But it is more than that. So much more. Here is a preview of my post:

In many ways, the abortion issue can cause us to feel weary. The statistics can spur hopelessness. The constant barrage of anger, bitterness, and hateful banter can make it seem like a pointless cause. But in the midst of it all those numbers are souls that once lived in bodies—little image bearers of our Creator. Being pro-life is not about politics. It is about the Gospel.

As Christians we of all people should be the most concerned about life in every stage, especially in the helpless stage of the womb. But why should we care? From the beginning of time we understand that God created men and women equally in his image (Gen. 1:27). People bear the image of their Creator—God. This is staggering. Every soul lost through abortion is an image bearer of the King. But to take this even further, Christians are to also care about the least defended, the least protected, and the helpless. Who is more helpless than a 10-week old baby nestled not-so-safely in the womb of a mother who is determined to kill it?

In the post, I talk about being pro-life means being pro-mom. As we think about Mother's Day, maybe God is stirring in your heart an increasing desire live out your pro-life convictions by being a blessing to a mother in need. It's just a thought. Either way, I hope you read the post and visit my friend's blog. And I pray that God makes us all more passionate about the cause of life.

You can read the rest of the post here.