Happy Release Day!

Today is the day! I've already birthed one baby this month, now it is time to birth another. The Accidental Feminist: Restoring Our Delight in God's Good Design releases today (actually it released yesterday, but who is counting?). After a year and a half of writing, planning, editing, more writing, and more editing, it is finally time to release the book to the masses.

Unlike Seth's arrival, I've known this due date for a while now, and it is hard to believe it's actually here. My prayer throughout the entire process was that God would use it to encourage his people and make himself known in greater measure. The prayer is still the same and I pray it for you, dear reader.

So happy release day, The Accidental Feminist. I'm glad you are here, too!

And at some point I'll write about Seth's eventful birth on May 19, but until then here is a picture of my two babies born this month.

Fear and Feminism: A better answer to our fears

Yesterday we looked at how feminism was in part a response to very real fears women faced. Today we will look at how the Bible speaks to those fears and gives us a better answer.

Sarah knew fear, right? She was taken from her homeland and family with no hope of seeing them again (Gen. 11:31). She was barren with no hope of a child (Gen. 11:30). Twice she was given over to a pagan king because her husband feared for his life (Gen. 12:10-20; 20:1-18). And that’s just what the Scriptures tell us. You could say that fear was probably an ever present reality in her life.

What marked Sarah ultimately, and maybe not always in the moment, is her hope in God. Her unwavering belief that God would do what he said, that God would deliver on his promises to her, and that God would never disappoint her. This is why Peter, in 1 Peter 3:1-6 uses her as an example for us to follow, not because she did it perfectly, but because ultimately her hope rested in God alone. We know that she didn't actually do it perfectly. In fact, like us, she gave into her fears on more than one occasion that we know of (Gen. 16; Gen. 18:9-15).

But the context of 1 Peter 3 is a rather fearful one isn’t it? Peter starts by telling women who live with a disobedient or unbelieving husband how they should conduct themselves. He exhorts them to live their lives in such a way that their husbands see the conduct of their character and are won to Christ. A disobedient or unbelieving husband would make any woman feel a little fearful over the future, or even the moment by moment complexities of her day. That is why Peter provides us with an example to follow. He presents his hearers with a woman clearly understood what it meant to live with a husband who was not always obedient to the word, and his hearers would have known that. Then he gives us the punchline, the moment of truth for Christian women threatened by our fears:

And you are her [Sarah’s] children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening (1 Pet. 3:6).

This can encourage us even today. We, too, live in a frightening world. Our sin alone can scare us to the core. But there are countless other earthly realities that threaten our faith daily. I have had two miscarriages, which I’ve talked about before on the blog. One happened while I was writing the book and it was more complicated than we anticipated. It was so difficult that it caused my husband and me to wonder if we would ever try for another baby again. It rocked us and terrified us. I’ve also never had a pregnancy without some type of complication. This one carried minimal risk for a while (it’s resolved now), but it’s still not a normal one. Pregnancy brings out all sorts of fears for me. Will I ever hold Seth? Even as we get everything ready for his arrival, I battle a lingering fear in the back of my mind, will this all be in vain? Will I be stricken with grief again? Maybe your fears are similar, maybe they are different. But the reality of living in a sin-cursed world means there is a lot to be afraid of.

I don’t know what brings out your fears. Maybe it is a husband who doesn’t lead you like he should. Maybe it is the prospect of a life of singleness. Maybe it’s infertility. Maybe it’s a move that is on the horizon. Maybe it is family member who doesn’t know Christ. Maybe you have a difficult child or a difficult job. Maybe your bank account never seems to have enough money in it. Does the thought of your children leaving for college or driving a car for the first time bring you to your knees in fear? Are you fearful over school loans you feel like you will have forever?

The list could go on.

The answer for us all is still the same: We are Sarah’s children, if we hope in God and do not fear anything that is frightening. Feminism can’t remove our fears anymore than it can give us the power and autonomy we crave. It’s all an illusion. What we really need, what stands the test of time, is hoping in the God who knows the end of our circumstances, who is over every detail of our painful, broken lives, and who has promised to always do what is good for us.

It can be frightening to submit to your husband. It can be frightening to give your life to raising children. It can be frightening to face a life of singleness or barrenness. It can be frightening to embrace your season and give up a beloved career, rather than trying to have it all. It can be frightening to go to your job every day when you are regularly left wondering if the job will be there tomorrow. It can be frightening to pour your life into your local church with the gifts God has given you. It can be frightening to love your neighbors and enter their lives. It can be frightening to open your life up to friends, roommates, and family members. Life in a broken world is fraught with risk and fear.

In all of these areas, we are giving ourselves over for the good of another, not us. That is always frightening.

Left to ourselves we should be afraid. Hedged in, protected by our loving creator, we have nothing to fear. Feminism is not the answer to our fears or our deepest longings. Hoping in the God who created us, loves us, and promises us a brighter future is.

We are Sarah's children if we trust in our all powerful, all loving, all wise, and always good God and do not fear anything that is frightening, even the fearful reality of living in a fallen world. 

*If you want more information about how feminism has influenced us as women, you can order The Accidental Feminist on Amazon. 

Fear and Feminism: There is a lot to be afraid of

At the end of this month my first book, The Accidental Feminist: Restoring Our Delight in God’s Good Design, releases. As I anticipate its release, I want to spend some time talking about what we fear. It might seem a little strange to talk about fear in the context of feminism, but I think it has everything to do with feminism’s influence in our lives and the root of feminism itself.

Feminists are strong, right? Feminists are in control of their lives? Feminists believe in girl power?

But I also think feminists (and all women) can be quite fearful.

As I say in my book, God in his good providence has given us our identity as women. He has created us. But in his wisdom he has put us in positions and places in life that can give us cause to fear. In a lot of ways he has made us physically weaker than men. Who hasn’t walked to their car in a dark parking lot with their keys out ready to jump in their car as fast as possible? We live in a scary world. He has put us in positions of submission that are designed for our good, but also make us vulnerable. I’m not saying it’s easy to submit to your husband all of the time. It’s not. Sometimes husbands don’t lead like they should. Sometimes husbands sin against us. I’m also not saying it’s easy being a woman in a sin-cursed world. It’s not. Throughout much of the world women are in very difficult, and terrifying, positions of vulnerability—and often at the hands of men. This is not a new occurrence. Women have been in fearful situations since sin entered the world.

But what feminism tried to do was empower women to rise above their circumstances in their own strength, in many ways owing to these very fears of vulnerability. We are met with similar fears today, aren’t we? We all have something to fear, and God knows that. So did countless women who have gone before us.

And in a lot of ways, fear is the great leveler isn’t it? The early feminists, had a lot to fear didn’t they? They had no real ability to protect themselves from unfaithful husbands, a government that provided them with no safety net, or their children being sent into factories. They had no real voice in society. The second wave feminists had their own set of fears, right? Left to the boredom of their house, children, and husbands, they feared losing themselves and their identity. We all fear something and we all look for answers to our fears in a number of ways. Feminism answered the fears that women faced by putting women in control of their own destiny, by making women the final authority in their lives. And it’s easy to do isn’t it? We feel like if we have some semblance of control than we can’t be hurt, we can’t be disappointed, or we can’t be given over to our fears. But, friends, this is never the answer. The answer to our fears isn’t in women’s empowerment or even in good leadership. In our sinful self-reliance, we want to believe that we can protect ourselves from our fears. But there is a better answer to our fears than feminism, self-protection, or even a society that believes in the dignity and value of women (which is a good thing!). We will look at that in my next post.

*If you are interested in learning more about how feminism has influenced us, you can order my book on Amazon.

What I Learned About Marriage From Gilbert Blythe

I don't remember exactly how old I was when I first watched Anne of Green Gables, but I know I've now seen it more times than I can count. For the longest time it was my go-to movie whenever I was sick. Who doesn't love the comfort of Avonlea when your fever is rising and your nose won't quit running? Because I am the only girl in my family, I even convinced one of my brothers to appreciate the story of Anne, Gilbert, Diana, Marilla, and Matthew (his wife can thank me for his enjoyment in classics like these).

With the many other fans of Anne of Green Gables I have been reminiscing about all that Anne of Green Gables meant to me as we learned of the sudden death of Jonathan Crombie, the man who played Gilbert Blythe. Like many women my age, I can count Gil as one of my first fictional crushes. I remember watching his often tense and teasing interactions with Anne and hoping that one day I could marry someone who loved me as passionately as Gil did.

A lot of my expectations of my future husband were fueled by unrealistic expectations at best, and a man in my own image at worst. But there is one thing about Gil and Anne's relationship that I'm thankful I have in my own.

Unwavering support.

I'm pretty sure the writing bug bit me in part because of Anne of Green Gables. As a young girl, I enjoyed pretending and telling a story, but seeing Anne publish, teach, and work at her craft really gave me a vision for writing that stayed with me over the years. I wanted to do the same thing. She wasn't like the other girls, and Gil loved that about her. But he also loved her enough to help her get better at her vocation--her writing.

Writers don't like being critiqued. At least I don't often appreciate it at first. It's painful. It feels like someone is tearing at part of your soul. A writer feels like her work is part of her and to tell her it's not good, or doesn't make sense, can feel like you are saying she doesn't make sense. When Gil told Anne to write about Avonlea, the place they both loved, it hurt her at first. But he was right. He knew the story that was inside of her and he was pushing her to allow it to come out. He believed in her writing.

I'm thankful that Daniel does the same for me, even though I might resent his criticism at first. At the end of the day no one believes in my writing more. No one believes in the words that are inside of me more than him. When I'm sloppy or unclear, he knows I can do better. When I'm tempted to compromise or cut corners out of fear of man, he knows I know the truth and challenges me to hold fast to it. He is my toughest critic and my greatest fan--which makes the often bitter pill of criticism easier to swallow.

I didn't marry a man who fights with me passionately like Gil did with Anne, although I thought that is what I needed when I was a young, passionate, and romantic girl. But I did marry a man who supports me as a writer and encourages me to write for God's glory and true to who I am. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Four Feminist Myths

The last couple of months have been filled with trying to get ready for the release of my first book, The Accidental Feminist: Restoring Our Delight in God's Good Design. It's hard to believe it's almost here (it officially releases May 31)! I had the opportunity to speak both at Southern Seminary and my church (Midtown Baptist Church) on how feminism has influenced us as women and how God provides us with a better answer than feminism. Instead of trying to retell the entire book, I focused on four feminist myths and provided their biblical counter-examples.

1. I define myself
2. I can have it all
3. A husband and children can wait
4. The teaching gifts are ultimate

If you want to hear the messages in their entirety (and know the biblical counter-examples) you can listen here and here. I also spend some time talking about how feminism in a lot of ways is a response to real fears that women face. I hope to come back to that on the blog as we get closer to the release of the book. In the meantime, if you are interested, you can pre-order the book now on Amazon or directly from Crossway.

Books I Enjoyed in 2014

I'm a couple of days late to the party for favorite books last year. It's still early January, so it counts, right?

Every year I am amazed at the privilege we are given to have such an abundance of books at our fingertips. While this list isn't exhaustive, nor is it reflective of books written just in 2014, it is a list of books I really liked last year. I hope you will find something in this list that you can enjoy yourself in 2015.

Extravagant Grace by Barbara Duguid
I reviewed this book on the blog. I think it's one I should read every year.

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full: Gospel Meditations for Busy Moms by Gloria Furman
Here is a short review of this one as well. If you are in the motherhood trenches, this book is for you.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Butterfield
I received this book from my parents and read it in two days. Her story captures your attention and reminds you that Christ's power over salvation can reach anyone. Her final chapters on life after her conversion are especially moving as you see her love her children from all walks of life.

Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton
This book came highly recommended from a friend of mine and I'm so glad I read it. Written against the backdrop of apartheid in South Africa, it is a moving story of prejudice, injustice, and forgiveness. And it is beautifully written. It also reminded me that I need to read more fiction.

True Beauty by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre
Not your average beauty book, this book is a breath of fresh air for all who struggle with what it means to be truly beautiful (and that's probably everyone!). I reviewed it here.

Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin
This is a book I hope every woman in our church reads at some point. I finished this book wanting to know my Bible better, and I've heard other friends say the same. She establishes the basis for Bible literacy and then gives you the tools to accomplish the task. If you want a more robust understanding of Bible study, this book is for you.

The Measure of Success: Uncovering the Biblical Perspective on Women, Work, and the Home by Carolyn McCulley and Nora Shank
I think this book can be a paradigm shifting book for many women with regards to work. I'm especially thinking of their focus on the seasons of a woman's life. While our culture doesn't lend itself to women and work in a variety of season (i.e. accomplish everything when you are young), they help the reader see that for everything there is a season and there is value in understanding your place in that season.

Teach Us to Want by Jen Pollock Michel
Jen makes me want to be a better writer. But she also makes me want to know God more. She has a gift for making words come alive. By drawing you into her prose, she helps you better understand your own desires in light of Scripture. This book won the Christianity Today book award for 2014 and I'm so glad it did. I interviewed her here.

One thing that stands out to me with the books I enjoyed this year is that most of them are written by women. I'm so encouraged by the many female writers that are out there right now. They are an encouragement to a new writer like me, but also help all women see the value of studying Scripture for every woman. I imagine 2015 will be no different!

Women Are No Threat to Me

In my single days, my roommates and I kept an article from John Piper on our refrigerator as a daily reminder to fight the sin of comparison. I was reminded of it last week as we wrapped up our summer bible study on John with the women of our church. As Peter has just been restored to fellowship with Christ, he is immediately pulled into the comparison game as he looks at his fellow disciple, John. Piper says this about Peter's question to Jesus.

That’s the way we sinners are wired. Compare. Compare. Compare. We crave to know how we stack up in comparison to others. There is some kind of high if we can just find someone less effective than we are. Ouch. To this day, I recall the little note posted by my Resident Assistant in Elliot Hall my senior year at Wheaton: “To love is to stop comparing.” What is that to you, Piper? Follow me.

Comparison is such a besetting issue for us as women. We see a woman dressed differently than us and we mentally stand next to her and boast in our attractiveness or wallow in how much better she looks. We see another mother with her children and compare our parenting skills, or lack of skills. We see a wife love her husband well and measure our relationship next to hers. We see a co-worker excel at a particular task and wonder why we can't work with the same speed and precision. Or to hit it home for me, I read another writer and feel stings of comparison as her perfectly crafted sentences make mine look like the work of an amateur.

The business of comparison is a dirty one.

But I was struck by something else as I studied this last part of John, something that put my own struggles with comparison in perspective. Peter and John both served very necessary, yet unique purposes in the establishment of the church. John lived a long life and wrote a number of New Testament books. Peter was at the forefront of the spread of the church (through much persecution) and according to tradition, was crucified upside down. Both lives looked very different. But both were needed in God's kingdom.

The same is true for us as writers, women, mothers, wives, employees, and church members. As a writer, I may say something in such a way that a specific woman has ears to hear. Land a different woman's eyes on my written words and she may need the voice of another friend of mine, who writes in a different voice. Both voices are necessary, both styles get the point across, but everyone has different ears to hear in different situations. We are all necessary.

In the writing world it can be easy to compare our own abilities and accomplishments with the woman next to us (or to put it more clearly, on the Internet page next to us). But we mustn't do that, friends. Like Peter and John, we have been given unique abilities, voices, and styles to minister to women who need to see that God's word is true and valuable in their lives. The woman who writes with more wit or careful turning of a phrase than me is not a threat to my gifting, but a blessing. She helps others see God when my words fall short. That is a gift! She is a service to the church in the same way I am called to be. I can lean on her and learn from her, but I should never resent her.

There is much to celebrate in this particular season with the multitude of women writers. I am encouraged by so many of them. As Christian women, who long to see God glorified in our lives, let us take the words of our Christ to heart when we feel the sting of jealousy rise up in our hearts over the giftings of another:

"What is that to you [sister]? You follow me."

Crossway Hosts Women of the Word Month in July

The summer is a time to slow down and enjoy the longer days. Some of you may even have a summer reading list that you are trying to work through (I have a loose list myself!). Maybe you are hoping to study the Bible more or are looking for a way to do so. If that's you, I have an exciting opportunity to tell you about.

During the month of July, Crossway.org will be hosting Women of the Word Month—a 31-day online campaign designed to encourage women to get in the Word and stay in the Word during the busy days of summer.

Timed with the publication of two important new resources from Crossway—Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin and the ESV Women’s Devotional Bible—the campaign will feature a daily email devotional, as well as practical blog posts and weekly video interviews with gifted Bible teachers. Contributors include Jen Wilkin, Kathy Keller, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Gloria Furman, Paul David Tripp, Kristyn Getty, and more.

 

The best news? It's entirely FREE! That's right. It's free of charge, my friends. What more reason do you need to sign up?

 

So I hope you will join me for Women of the Word Month. I'm excited to dig in and see what God will do.

For more information or to sign up, go to Crossway.org/women.

 

 

God Created Male and Female, and It Was Good

The first time I ever heard the word complementarian was while sitting in a pew at Bethlehem Baptist Church. I can't remember the exact moment, but I knew it was a new concept for me. My early years as a believer were spent sitting under the ministry of John Piper and the elders of Bethlehem. When I walked through those doors my first Sunday I didn't know what "sovereign" meant, let alone how important it was that I was made female and not male. But in my three formative years there I drank abundantly from the spiritual water of God's word. When I walked out of those doors for the last time as a member, I was a changed woman. 

My belief in God's good design for men and women was merely an unwatered seed, planted by my Christian mom and dad, in my early Christian days. The weekly proclamation of God's word that came out of that pulpit watered that little seed. And God made it grow.

That's why I am so thankful to have contributed to this new E-book on God's good design in creating us male and female. In the pages of this book you will find a dozen young complementarians who are committed to proclaiming God's glory in how he created us. They want you to see your purpose as an image bearer of our Creator. And they want you to find joy in your differences. 

You want to hear something even better? It's entirely FREE. That's right, free. 

If you want a fresh understanding of what it looks like to live as male or female and find joy in God's good plan, I encourage you to download this book. 

(My chapter is on my recovery from feminism)

A New Year of Projects

I waited a little bit to announce this because I wanted to get my bearings about it all before I started spreading the news. We had a whirlwind of a Fall and holiday season, so the excitement about what our future holds just got swept up in the excitement of buying a house, moving, and traveling for Christmas. But here we are. It is January and the reality is starting to set in that this is really happening.

So what is it?

I am writing a book!

In June of last year (2013) I was contacted, much to my surprise, by a literary agent. At the time I was in the thick of little babies and sleepless nights, so while I shared my ideas for a book project with him, I didn't think much of it. In August, he contacted me again and said that his team would like to work with me to get this book published. To make a long, drawn out story short, in November I signed with Crossway. And so began this crazy journey.

The truth is, this book has been on my heart for a long time. It all began with an article I wrote six and a half years ago on recovering from feminism. Over these years, the Lord has brought people along my path who have encouraged me to turn the idea of the article into a book. So little by little I plugged along at a proposal, always thinking that this was a very distant future project, not a right now one. God had other plans and we couldn't be more excited. I say "we" because this is definitely a family project. Daniel has been so very supportive and encouraging of my writing and we are looking forward to seeing what God does through this little endeavor.

So call me crazy, but that is what our 2014 holds. The manuscript is due June 1, so I better get to writing! My prayer for this book is that God would use it to encourage many women to see that God's plan for womanhood is for them, regardless of their station, season, or position in life. He had a good purpose when he created us as female. And I am looking forward to discovering the beauty of his design with those who read.

And if you think about it, you can pray for me. I have a lot of work to do!

What I've Been Up To: My Writing

Even though I haven't been doing much writing on this little blog (I hope that changes sometime soon!), I did write a few articles in other venues that were published shortly after the boys were born. I figured I would post them here for any who are interested.

A Higher Calling to Protect (Christianity Today women's blog)--this article was written shortly after the decision by the military to allow women in combat.

The Quest for a Bigger, Better, Cuter Pregnancy (Christianity Today women's blog)--How should Christian's think about the commercialization of pregnancy?

Limitations: Our Gift from God (Gospel Coalition)--I wrote this article nearly a year ago. It's interesting to read it again now knowing that I wrote in the midst of our infertility.

Your Womanhood is Not on Hold (Gospel Coalition)--This is another article that I wrote right before I found out I was pregnant. God is kind to remind me of all that he taught me in the days of our longings.

How Christians Approach Death: Post at Her.meneutics

Like many of you, I was heartbroken over the December shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. As a mom pregnant with two little boys, all I could think about were those parents who went searching for their children only to find out they had been killed by a mad man. I wanted to know the names of these children. I wanted to know how to pray for these families. And my heart continued to break more and more.

One mother of the slain children wrote about the process of identifying her son. It is difficult to read, but moving as you get a glimpse of a mother's love even as she views her son's lifeless body. Her decision to come forward caused a journalist to write about how we owe it to these families to listen to their stories, even the gruesome ones. And I agree.

I wrote a post last week at Her.meneutics that ties her assertions to our responsibility as Christians to grieve with people. Here is an excerpt:

"When Lazarus died Jesus went to him even when he was warned that the smell of his dead friend's body would be overpowering (John 11:38-40). Not even a decomposing body could deter him because he knew that he had power over death. As those who trust in this Christ who has victory over death, we owe it to the grieving not to run from death but to run towards it with them, to look death in the face and walk with them in their pain. But also to acknowledge, like Jesus did, that for those who are in Christ that this death does not have the final word (John 11:4).

Not only did Jesus choose to face the death of his friend, but he willing took on flesh in order to defeat death and sin. Jesus became a human being who could die so that little ones, like Noah Pozner, would one day be whole and new—and unstained by the atrocities that ripped them from this world.

 

As Christians we can look at death and refuse to turn our faces away because we know the One who conquered death by his own and is coming again to make all things new (Rev. 21:5). We owe it to grieving families to enter their pain and hear their stories."

 

You can read the rest here.

Most Read Posts for 2012

I have been doing this little blog for almost six years now, which is so hard to believe. As my life has changed, so has the blog. As each season of my life has passed the blog has evolved a little more. In a lot of ways it's nice to have an online journal of all that God has done in my life. And I am so thankful for all of you who have joined me on this journey called life. I wish I could meet all of you! As I looked over the posts for the past year, I would have to say that this year probably saw the most change, and that is reflected in the posts that were most popular with my readers. At the beginning of the year I wrote about our infertility and how I didn't want to waste it. Towards the end of the year I wrote about the precious gift of our twin boys. Both posts were the highest read posts of the year, signifying to me that you, dear readers, have walked this road with us. So I thank you for that. A shared sorrow is truly half a sorrow and a shared joy is double the joy, and in many ways your joy for us has made this news even sweeter.

So here are the top five posts for 2012 on this little blog. Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet.

5. The Antidote for Bitterness

4. Interview with Nancy Guthrie

3. Posts on the boys (A Baby Story Part 1 and 2, These Boys Have Names)

2. Treat Her Like Your Sister

1. Don't Waste Your Infertility

My First Live Radio Interview

Last Friday, I was interviewed by a Christian radio station in California about my most recent post on Her.meneutics, "Why Jesus is Not Your Boyfriend." I had never been on live radio before and was honored to be asked. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect. But Joe Pursch (the man who interviewed me) was kind, and the callers were gracious and encouraging.

What I wanted to convey in the article, and in the interview, was that a humanized understanding of Christ is actually quite dangerous for men and women. As Christians, we all should be passionate about the Lord, but we must never allow that passion to be confused with romantic passion. And we must never, either intentionally or unintentionally, create a Christ in our own image, namely the image of a special friend who meets our deep desires for a significant other. Pursch asked me how single women can protect themselves from having a faulty Christology, and the answer I gave is true for so many issues we face as believers. We must immerse ourselves in God's word through personal study and the preaching in our local congregations.

I said a lot more (the interview was almost an hour long!), so if you are interested you can follow this link. It is the June 29th podcast and my interview starts at the second hour of the program.

Jesus is Not Your Boyfriend

Daniel and I have just finished a much needed vacation, hence the silence on the blog this past week! But I have been writing. This morning, Her.meneutics (the Christianity Today blog for women) posted something I wrote on a popular trend in Christendom--single women calling Jesus/God their boyfriend. I'm sure at some point you have heard someone say something along these lines, "until God brings me a husband, I am content to just have him as my boyfriend." Some have even gone so far as calling God their lover, as so many popular songs often do.

While a personal relationship with our Savior is crucial, it is not a personal romantic relationship. In fact, when we use earthly relationships to describe our relationship with Jesus we miss something really important, namely the fact that our earthly relationships (i.e. marriage) is meant to image his relationship with his Bride (the church). We are a collective bride, not an individual one.

In the post I say this:

Just as self-marriage misses the mark for what God designed marriage to point to, “marriage” to Jesus misses what his work accomplished. Marriage to Jesus while waiting for a husband can often trivialize our Savior in a way that makes him more like a sweet boyfriend who takes us out on dates, rather than the God-man who paid for our sin on the cross. Jesus did not accomplish redemption to marry us individually. He died for the church corporate, of which we are apart. His death accomplished something much greater than simply meeting our deep-seated desires for a significant other. That is what Paul is getting at in Ephesians 5:22–33 when speaks of the mystery of marriage.

Read the rest of the post here.

The Loss of Family Togetherness

While numerous studies have revealed that a shared family meal, and quality family time, can have tremendous benefits for children (especially teenagers), many families experience the reality of busyness, technology, and individualism. The concept of a traditional family time is a dying notion.

And the culture is taking notice.

The "family hour" was once a coveted spot on network television. Now it's an hour for the television history books. I wrote about this trend, and our response as Christians, over at the Her.meneutics blog today.

Here is a snippet of my thoughts:

Will we Christians who have families follow the cultural drift? I believe we can provide a counter voice to the individualistic mindset that permeates our families. While we can never be perfect in our approach, we do have a guide to show us a better way.

Scripture attests that God instituted the family as one model of not only his triune nature but also his relationship with the church (Gen. 1:26-31; Eph. 5:22-33, 6:1-4). When we lose family togetherness, we lose a valuable and crucial picture that cannot be recreated elsewhere.

The loss of family togetherness is a symptom of a culture that is increasingly embracing individualism over community. But we Christians know we were not made as “individuals” but as persons in community. Separation from the God-designed community of the family creates an environment that is not healthy or productive for us. It has implications for how we relate to others, the church, and God himself. While it might seem noble and cool to live outside the confines of a family, countless studies have shown that families where a father is absent, due to reasons other than death, face greater dysfunction and turmoil. God knew what he was doing when he made Adam and Eve and told them to “be fruitful and multiply.”

You can read the rest here.

Love the Church

I've heard it said a number of times from young people (and old people), "I really love doing ministry for Jesus, but I just don't see the importance of being super involved in my church." It's really easy to separate the two, especially in a world where there are many really good organizations out there that, while not connnected to any particular church, are doing things in the name of Jesus.

This is an issue I attempted to tackle in an article published at Boundless. I tried to show that our ministry efforts should actually be most evident within the context of the local church. I've met a lot of young people over the years who, while they are really excited about "doing something" for Christ, feel very little inclination towards the Bride he died for. I attempted to argue that they must go hand in hand. I also tried to warn against the emphasis on "doing big things for Jesus" because in actuality, most of us really just do a lot of little things for Jesus over the course of our lives, and that's actually a good thing. Faithfulness is our barameter, not size and innovation.

Here is part of what I said:

The passion for ministry and commitment to a local church are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they must go together. You can't be all about the mission of Jesus and not be all about the mission of His bride.

When we only think in terms of spring break missions trips or weekly evangelism outings with our college friends, we can start to think that our good actions trump our bad behavior. If you volunteer with International Justice Mission or sponsor a Compassion child, this good work actually outweighs the fact that you can't hold a job or are wasting your days away playing video games. And that's where the local church comes in.

The local church provides the accountability, fellowship and truth that we so desperately need. We have to get away from the mentality that it's "just me and Jesus." It's not. Yes, Jesus loves you. But He also loves the church, His bride for whom He died. The Bible actually talks about the church being the very body of Jesus. And I've heard it said that we dare not say to Jesus, "It's not You I hate, it's just Your body I can't stand." When we neglect the local church, we are actually neglecting our Savior.

He has big plans for you that do not start first with your exotic missions trip or urban ministry. Jesus' mission for your life is first and foremost to make you holy, and one of the primary ways He accomplishes this mission is through the local church. Our ministry to this lost and dying world should never be divorced from the church — and more importantly, the local congregation that you belong to.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Interview with Nancy Guthrie

This morning, Her.meneutics (the CT women's blog) posted an interview I did with Nancy Guthrie. She is the author of the Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament bible studies that are published through Crossway. The most recent bible study (the second in the series) will be out at the end of this month, and it is as good as the first one. I have been able to review both the first and the second for The Gospel Coalition, and I loved every minute of each one.

If you aren't familiar with Nancy, you should be. She is a prolific author, having written and edited a number of books with topics ranging from Christian holidays to dealing with the death of a child. I'm currently reading Be Still, My Soul: Embracing God's Purpose and Provision in Suffering and it has ministered to me greatly. If you want to get to know her better through her most recent bible study, you can read my interview with her. And if you want a thorough Bible study that exalts Christ, then get her first two studies. You will be glad you did!

Writing is an Exercise in Humility

For my senior writing project in college all of the writing majors were assigned small groups that would meet every other week for intensive peer critiques of our final project. We would meet at a local coffee and bagel shop by school, only critique with pens that were in "non-threatening" colors, and pour over the work our fellow students presented us. The content of these bi-weekly meetings was nothing new considering that for the duration of our time in the program our writing assignments were continually subjected to multiple revisions. I learned a lot of things in those years but the one that has really taken shape in my life since college is that a writer's work is never complete.

Going into my classes I thought very differently. And I honestly don't think I grasped this concept until recently. Like so many young adults I thought my writing was unique, compelling, and pretty much perfect. All it took was a freshman composition professor telling me I was a good writer and I knew it that I was destined for greatness.

Ten years, and quite a few humbling experiences later, and I think differently. I still love writing. I still feel that God has given me a mind that best understands him when I write about it. But I've learned that writing is hard work. It doesn't come easy. It's a discipline. And it should make me humble.

You might wonder how writing is an exercise in humility when so much of writing is for public consumption. How can it be humble to have your work out there for all to see? I'm not saying I'm a humble person, or that writers are humble people. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that is often very far from the truth. But the truth is that to be a good writer, to really grow in your craft, requires hard work and a lot of outside input. What I didn't understand in all of those writing groups in college is that they were designed to make me better, but they were also designed to show me that I'm really not that great. There will always be a better writer. There will always be something I can change, clarify, or even write better. Good writing should never be done in isolation. Anyone can think they are the next John Piper if they edit their own stuff. What is the real test is if we submit ourselves to editors (whether they are friends or online magazine editors) and take their feedback and seek to grow from it. Editors exist to make our work better, serve people, and help us clarify our thoughts. They also exist to help us think of ourselves rightly, as broken people writing to broken people (Romans 12:3).

I wish I had seen the pride in my life back in college that kept me from really embracing criticism of my writing. I didn't like to be picked apart and pushed in my writing. I thought I had it all together, clinging to the words of that first-year comp teacher. To my shame I wasted a lot of helpful feedback at the altar of my own glory. I'm not going to say that I now have it all together and like to hear critiques of my writing. I don't. But as I write more, and am exposed to more editors, I'm thankful for the help. If anything it's an exercise in humbling myself before God, recognizing that he alone gives gifts and takes them away.