Running My First 5K!

Thank you to all of you who have stuck with me this semester even though I haven't posted. I just finished my semester (tonight) and promise I will be more regular at posting here. Here is a little update on what I have been up to!

I have long despised running. Primarily because I feel as though my chest is caving-in half way through my first quarter mile. I always admired people who ran long distances, or ran at all for that matter. A little over a year ago I ran my first mile—ever! After that I bought my first pair of running shoes. Then it seemed that I should sort of try running because I was already pretending like I was a runner. Last semester my running was fairly sporadic, but this summer I decided I wanted to master this fear of mine. So a runner I became. On a visit home this summer a friend of mine mentioned a website called From Couch to 5K. It's basically a wimpy person's guide to running, which is me. When I started dating Daniel, in October, he told me that he would help me train for this 5K I had committed to. Suddenly I had not only recruited him, but my dad and brother as well! So when I wanted to give up on my attempt to run this race, I knew that I couldn't because I would be letting down not only my boyfriend, but my dad and brother (and all the other friends who were cheering me on from home) as well.

The race was Thanksgiving Day and it was freezing. Minneapolis is not known for it's balmy November's, and this day was no different. But we were bundled up and ready to run with everyone from Pilgrims to walkers with their baby strollers. Unfortunately, due to my slow pace (which I was not aware of until I saw a video of myself), we ran with the walkers. But, hey, it was my first race ever! Daniel (who is a runner and way faster than me) ran next to me the whole time, and even stopped and walked when I got tired. Zach couldn't finish because he had to go home and get the forgotten turkey and take it to our brother's house. And my dad ran with us (except when he stopped at every mile marker to take my picture). Everyone was so encouraging and it made me excited to do another one. Daniel thinks I should run a marathon (he has ran 3), but I think that is WAY too ambitious for a little rookie like me. We'll see.

I learned a lot by running this race. I took Personal Spiritual Disciplines this semester and I found a lot of parallels as I trained to run this 5K. The biggest one for me was the need for perseverance when I want to give up. It's so easy to say that it's too painful, or too tiring, or too hard and just give up. Often that is how I feel in the Christian life too. What I didn't understand about this race that we are in, I understand dimly now. Endurance comes when we press through the difficulty knowing that the goal (Jesus Christ) far outways the present circumstance. And it's encouraging knowing that we are not alone. We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, who, like us, have faced the same trials and persevered. So, I am looking forward to running again, but I am most excited about running the most important race of all—the one that leads me to Jesus.

Dr. Hamilton on the Great Civil Rights Crisis of Our Day

My professor here at Southern wrote an excellent post this week calling abortion the "great civil rights crisis of our time." I appreciate the clarity and honesty that he exhibits in this post. For a long time I felt apathetic about the abortion issue. I foolishly thought that there was little I could do personally for the cause of the unborn, and therefore didn't really ever think about it. Everything changed with this election. Not because abortion became more important to me, but because I truly believe that God used years of teaching on abortion and pro-life issues to finally convict me of my apathy. It is so easy to be desensitized to issues that bear so much weight because it essentially feels like I have no voice. But I wonder if my Christian brothers and sisters felt the same way when African-American brothers and sisters (created in the image of God) were beaten and even killed right under their noses. Did they feel helpless in the cause too?

But we are not helpless. We serve a big God who knows the names and faces of every one of those little ones who are discarded as medical waste. And he knew the face of every slave who suffered and labored at the hands of sinful slave-owners. Satan wants us to feel apathetic. He hates the image of God and he will stop at nothing to destroy it, even if it means making sinful people like me apathetic to the cause of life. So I encourage you to read Dr. Hamilton's post. It made me think. It made me cry. It made me feel like I have a responsibility to do something. But most importantly, it made me pray to the only One who can help us save the precious lives that are lost in the name of "freedom." May God have mercy on us all.

You can access the post here.

All I Have is Christ

The words to this song have really ministered to my heart these last few weeks. I first heard it at the New Attitude conference last May, and we sang it at church a couple of weeks ago. I thought I would share the lyrics with you. I am so thankful for all of the people at Sovereign Grace Ministries who write such Christ-centered music that causes my heart to sing to the Savior. Here it is:

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

Music and Words by Jordan Kauflin.
© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI). Sovereign Grace Music, a division of Sovereign Grace Ministries.
From Na Band: Looked Upon. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
North American administration by Integrity Music. International administration by CopyCare International.

You can buy the CD that this song appears on here.

Review of Radical Womanhood

Below is a review post that I wrote for the CBMW blog. If you get a chance you should go buy the book! It will be worth your time and money!

We talk a lot here at CBMW about the effects of feminism in our lives and the lives of those around us. For many of us (myself included), life prior to the launch of Ms. Magazine is only a faint memory recounted by our mothers. For others the lasting legacy of Gloria Steinem is evident and saddening as you watch your daughters and granddaughters navigate through the muddy waters of our culture. Author and friend of CBMW, Carolyn McCulley, like all of us, was lost in those waters prior to conversion to Jesus Christ. Her recent book, Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, is an answer to the questions she had when she was first introduced to biblical womanhood. As a product of the feminist influence in women's studies programs she wrestled through God's design for men and women. It is clear in this book that God has distinctly equipped and shaped her to evaluate our culture and point us to the Gospel.

It is in the preface where we first see Carolyn's heart and passion for writing this book. She describes an event where she was speaking to college-age Christian young women about the feminist movement. Though the names of women involved in the movement carried no weight with them, the legacy of their strivings did. After seeing the sea of raised hands when asked who was a child of divorced parents she says:

"At that point, I realized I was talking to a generation living with the fallout of seismic cultural change, but they didn't know what happened! (They also didn't know what was in the Bible-an alarming thought for a Christian event, though not entirely unexpected for so many new believers.) Seeing their need, I set aside my speaking notes and began to address them with passion. I explained to them what previous generations had done to change the definition of being a woman. I talked to them about all that they had inherited-both benefits and the detriments. I talked to them about what the Bible had to say on these matters. And then I challenged them to be different, to live as biblically savvy women in the modern world. When it was all over, many of them came forward to say this information was all brand-new to them. ‘Why hasn't anyone ever told us this before?' they asked."

And that is what this book seeks to do—to explain what has happened and to encourage us to know how to live with the fall-out. Each chapter takes the aspects of the feminist movement and shows how it applies to various spheres in our lives. She initially recounts the history of the feminist movement, introducing us to the names and faces of the various waves of feminism. This sets the stage for the rest of the book, which follows these women's ideology all the way to our homes and churches. It is impossible to escape their influence. And perhaps the most profound pieces of this book are the personal testimonies at the end of every chapter. We have heard for some time about the assault on motherhood—abortion and delayed pregnancies—at the hands of feminists, but the stories that follow "The Mommy Wars" chapter are a sobering reminder that the Prince of Darkness will stop at nothing to destroy God's design in creating us to be "mothers of the living" (Genesis 3:20).

There is no other way to talk about feminism without saying first and foremost that Jesus saves—from everything. Amidst all of the darkness and sorrow brought on by years of struggle and rebellion against God and his design, there is hope in every story. McCulley does not simply leave us to wallow in the cultural effects of feminism. Rather she points to the One who redeems us not only from feminism's lust for control, but all of our sins. I pray that many women will find this book to be an oasis of hope and answers in a confused culture, but more importantly find King Jesus who is revealed in every page. It is only by his reign in our lives that we are given the grace to renounce our sin and be radical women.

True Woman Recap and Where I've Been

I know I have been out of commission for a long time, so if there are any readers still out there—I am so sorry that it has been forever since I have written. School got busy, as did work, and church, and pretty much all of life! I plan on working really hard in being more active here on this blog, and I have some ideas that will hopefully give me fuel to continue writing. But I wanted to share with you something that I had been anticipating for a long time.

On Saturday night I got back from the True Woman Conference. It was everything I hoped it would be and more. Coming back from True Woman and processing through the weekend has left me with a lot to be thankful for. God was there. And it’s not that God is not in other places, but there is something profound about 6,200 women gathering to say that God’s glorious design for men and women is beautiful and good—and something to live for. I truly believe that God met many women at this conference, including myself. It was so encouraging to hear women like Mary Kassian and Susan Hunt, who have labored for the truth for years, say that God is raising up an army of women to speak to the next generation about biblical complementarity. For some women it was an affirming moment, years of praying for God to bring other women into the truth now finally realized. For some women it was the lifeline of hope that they needed in order to go back to their churches, families, and friends and labor for our Christ. For others it was an awakening to the beauty of who God created them to be as women. All of these experiences are good and God-ordained. For myself there is much to reflect on. Here are the highlights of my trip:

I am most grateful that my mom was able to be there with me. I cannot imagine going to this conference without her. She is a woman who never wanted to be anything but my mom, and without her example in my life I would not be here today. Motherhood is a high calling in Mom’s eyes—and I am so very thankful that she passed that on to me, even when I didn’t want to hear it. My mom loves Jesus and always wanted me to as well. It was a privilege to worship our Christ with her knowing that the moment was only a small foretaste of when we will both see Jesus face to face. To see her edified and strengthened to love Jesus more encouraged me, and made me love her more deeply.

Being reminded that I need to slow down. There were countless occasions where the women speaking challenged us to slow down and not get crowded with life. I am the queen of getting crowded with life. I am constantly being given more information on good and right things, but so often I do not stop to process and reflect on all that I am learning. Jesus easily gets pushed to the side in my quest to gain more knowledge about Jesus. I realized that if I cannot get a handle on this when I am single then it will only get worse if I get married someday.

Being reminded, once again, that biblical womanhood is all about Christ. We are only able to live biblically because of Christ’s obedience on our behalf. If I do not cling to that daily then all of my attempts at righteousness are in vain. Biblical womanhood exists to make much of Christ, and to point others to him. If that is not my chief goal then I have missed the mark. I need to realize this more.

Spending time with Susan Hunt at the CBMW booth. I have read her books and admired her for a while now, but meeting her made me love her work even more. She is every bit as godly, kind, humble, and encouraging as her books sound. I thank God for her.

At the end of the conference they had a group of women read the True Woman Manifesto. This, too, was an amazing experience. The True Woman website has all of the audio, the manifesto, and other resources from the conference. I would encourage you to go and check out their website.

Learning the Soft Answer

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”—Proverbs 15:1

Reading through the Proverbs has reminded me that God cares a great deal about our speech. This is not a new concept to many, I am sure. But it has convicted me greatly as I have been reading. Every harsh word in response to a family member or friend is reminding me how imperfect I am, and how perfect Christ is. He knew when to speak and when to be silent. And his words stirred up anger because they were saturated with truth, not filled with revenge, as my words so often are.

Not only do harsh words reveal our sin, but they also reveal our sinful beliefs about the person to whom we are speaking. When we snap at a roommate, or make a snide comment towards a husband, we are fundamentally saying that we are superior to that person. Our speech reveals, in that moment, that we deem ourselves (and our feelings) better than theirs. If we really believed in our hearts that we were dying sinners speaking to other dying sinners then the playing field would be leveled. It would make it easier to respond gently because we would know that maybe, just maybe, there is truth in what is being told to us. God uses correction and conflict to conform us more into the image of his Son, even if we are partially right in the conflict. And the same would be true for the other person. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the great leveler. Not only are we created equal in the image of God, but we are all equally sinners in need of much grace every second of the day.

So when I feel compelled to speak a harsh word (which, to my shame, is far too often) I need to remember that the person on the other end of the conversation is created in the image of the God I claim to love. Our tongues and our speech matter a great deal to God. And the Proverbs are a reminder of that. With our words we have the power to tear down, or build up. I pray that, by God’s abundant grace, I do more building than tearing.

Further Confessions of a Recovering Feminist, Part 3

Yesterday we talked about how our experience alone cannot shape our understanding of God. But often this begs the question, "What do I do with my pain?" I don't want to pretend that there is not legitimate pain out there experienced at the hands of ungodly people. Even Job did not shy away from this reality. His suffering was excruciating, and to dismiss it without an answer would merely trivialize what he went through. Maybe the same is true with you. You are left wondering what to do now in the wake of a hurtful experience. There is hope for you.

I realize that I cannot know exactly what you are going through. I have never experienced suffering in a seemingly unbearable capacity, but I am a sinner living in a sin-cursed world, and I do have a Bible that tells me about this world and my own sin. All of the pain that we experience, whether great or miniscule, is a result of the curse. And though your situation is real, you are never alone in your pain (Hebrews 13:5b).

I wasn't there, but Christ was when your boyfriend broke up with you. He was there when your father let you down for the tenth time. He was there when your pastor disappointed you with his resignation. The sovereign hand of the Father is on every event that happens in your life. God is so powerful that nothing moves, even Satan, without his approval. We even see in Job's story that Satan had to seek permission before he was able to afflict Job. God is there in the midst of all pain and all suffering. He is the perfect and powerful Father.

But, let me tell you about real suffering—the suffering of the Savior. And he suffered an excruciating death and tasted abandonment by his own father, not only for your sin, but for the sins done against you. He knows our pain because the pain that he experienced, on our behalf, was far greater than we could ever know or handle. We serve a Savior who understands us.
So what do you do with your pain?

God has given us his Word for our good, and that is certainly true as we wrestle through pain. In the Psalms we see honest accounts of people in pain, crying out to God. There is much encouragement to be felt in reading the Psalms. And there is a wealth of rich theological truth about our great God in the midst of trying times. God's people were made to gather together. We were never made to walk through suffering alone, and within your local church you will find people who can hold you accountable and point you to the Savior. Sometimes there is no greater encouragement than to know that someone else knows what you are experiencing. Ask God to help you find someone suffering more than you and minister to them as you walk through these trials together.

When our theology of God is placed into experiential categories we create a God who is fluid and changeable. This is not the God of the Bible, and viewing God this way really brings no hope in the end. And though sometimes it seems like immediate comfort, it will not give us a Christ who saves us and deals with sin—even sin done against us.

Pain is a result of the curse, so we must look to the only One who can free us from this curse—Jesus Christ. And as you look to him know that the wrong done against you will not escape ultimate justice. Not only is there hope for you to be comforted in your pain, but you also have the freedom to forgive your oppressors as you have been forgiven. In all of these things know that the pain and the suffering must be brought to the foot of King Jesus, who knows us and loves us. We can experience the peace that Job expressed (42:5) when he said to God, "before my ear had heard about you, but now my eye sees you."