Happy 30th Birthday, Daniel!

Today, my dear husband turns 30. I've been saying it over and over again, partly because I can't believe it. He is 30, which means in a little over a year I will be 30. He is out of his twenties and has moved into a new decade. But really, it's just a number. He feels the same way he did yesterday. So on this day, his 30th birthday, I want to honor him with 30 reasons I love him with all of my heart. Every year I love him more and more. I love seeing God grow him as a pastor, husband, friend, son, and Christian. He is a blessing to me in more ways than I can even count. So here are just some of the ways I am thankful for him today, but know that these don't even scratch the surface. I am one blessed woman!

Daniel, here are a few of the many ways I'm thankful to God for you.

1. You are committed to studying God’s word and rightly handling his truth.



2. You love people and want to see them grow in their knowledge of Christ.



3. You love God’s word and believe that it is true and powerful.



4. You are sensitive to the needs of others and are quick to show compassion.



5. You take your responsibility as a pastor seriously, and you show that seriousness by your faithfulness in preparing to preach God’s word and your devotion to prayer.



6. You are hospitable.



7. You love me and are my best friend.



8. You model Christ’s love for the Church by faithfully providing for us and protecting me with joy.



9. You are the hardest worker I know.



10. You are honest.



11. You are quick to ask questions and get to know people.



12. You are a good listener.



13. You are smart.



14. You manage our finances in a way that protects us.



15. You are willing to do things you don’t enjoy in order to serve God’s people and your family.



16. You are quick to forgive.



17. You are not afraid to admit that you are wrong.



18. You are creative when it comes to giving gifts, and like to give people things that really mean something to them.



19. You are funny.



20. You care about lost people.



21. You love the nations and are willing to give of yourself in order to see them trust in Christ.



22. You love children.



23. You are loyal.



24. You are my greatest supporter and encourager.



25. You are servant-hearted.



26. You are gentle and not quick to be angry.



27. You are affectionate.



28. You enjoy being active.



29. You still like to date me.



30. After Christ, you are my greatest joy. There is no one else I would rather be with, cry with, love, and walk through this crazy life with.

Happy birthday, my love. I’m so thankful to God for you.

The Heart of Thankfulness

As we begin Thanksgiving week it’s easy to get lost in the busyness of visiting family, preparing meals, watching football, and maintaining traditions. And while we should be cultivating thankfulness all year, Thanksgiving affords a unique opportunity to focus on the many reasons we have to be thankful. The Bible is not void of discussion on thankfulness either, especially in the Psalms. When the Psalms express thankfulness, it always directed to God and his gracious work for his people. As Christians, we should take our cues from the Psalmist not only on Thanksgiving, but every day as well. Sure, we can be thankful for material possessions, family members, and other earthly things. But when we express our appreciation for these things, it must always be directed towards the Giver, the God who gives us every earthly blessing, but also an abundance of heavenly blessings.

Psalm 103 is a beautiful expression of overflowing thankfulness to God. In verse 1, David says: “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name.” Every fiber of David’s being is pouring out blessing, praise, and honor to God. He is celebrating God’s goodness towards his people. But he doesn’t end there. He goes on to explain in greater detail what this goodness looks like. In verse 2, David urges himself (and us) to “forget not all his benefits.” He is telling us to call to mind what God has done for us. In essence, he is saying to remember so you can see how he has worked for you. It’s hard to praise the Lord when you can’t remember what he has done for you. So remember. Call to mind the great things he has worked on your behalf. I imagine it will elicit the same joyous praise that David exhibits here. Thankfully, he expounds on these benefits. And while this is David talking, these benefits apply to us as well. The following verses show us five ways that God’s benefits are made manifest in our lives:

He forgives all of your iniquity (verse 3a). This is the foundation of our praise. All other benefits mean nothing if our sins are not forgiven. At the cross, our greatest problem was dealt with by God himself. This alone gives us reason to celebrate and be thankful for the rest of our lives. Our sins have been forgiven.

He heals all of our diseases (verse 3b). God is the great healer. Modern medicine is an amazing gift to us, but God ultimately heals us of our illnesses. Some of you today might wonder when you will be healed. Maybe you have faced illness your entire life and there is no hope for a cure. This verse doesn’t seem to apply to you. Oh, but it does. Even if you do not face healing in this life, there is a great healing coming for you. The body you have right now won’t be this way forever. One day you will have a new body that is free of disease and decay. Hold on for that final day, and trust in the God who will one day finally heal all of your disease.

He redeems our life from the pit (verse 4a). Before God saved us, we were living in a pit of sin, despair, and hopelessness. We had no way of escape. But God, in his great mercy, redeemed us from that pit. Not only does he forgive our sins, but he takes us out of that sinful life and redeems us. He makes us new creations by the atoning work of Jesus.

He crowns us with steadfast love and mercy (verse 4b). A crown is given to royalty. When we are forgiven and redeemed we are brought into the royal family of God, and given the benefits of being his children. This is the application of his healing, saving, forgiving, and atoning work—we get never-ending, always faithful, mercy and love from our heavenly Father. The benefits just keep coming!

He satisfies us with good, renewing our youth like the eagle’s (verse 5). All of the benefits mentioned in the previous verses are good things that satisfy our souls. He satisfies us with an abundance of good, namely the goodness of himself. He is the ultimate source of good and he is the only good one. This goodness towards us renews us and gives us new life. I squandered my youth, and this verse, like the ones preceding it, reminds me that God is a forgiving and redeeming God. He redeems our youthful wanderings and gives us new vigor to serve him and honor him all of our days.

The rest of the Psalm is a further exposition of his goodness towards us. These verses are rich with evidences of his work on our behalf, and give us many more reasons to be thankful this holiday season. In verse 10, David reminds us that God does not deal with us according to our sins, or repay us evil for evil. His dealing with us is only good and merciful, even though we deserve only condemnation and wrath. And again in verses 11-12 we see that not only does he give us mercy, but he removes our sin from us and looks compassionately on us.

All of these great realities about God’s work on our behalf culminate in a final word of praise and thanksgiving for all that he has done. In verses 20-22 David says that all of heaven and earth will sing his praises because of the good things that he has done. The heavens and the earth cannot be silent about God’s wonderful interactions with us, nor should we. If we are in Christ we have much to be thankful for this Thursday, and every day. God has removed the stain of sin, given us the righteousness of Christ, and promised us a great future with him. Let us join the everlasting song and praise his name forever. He has done great things for us.

Friday is for Food: Butternut Squash Soup

I wasn't sure I would be able to get away with making this one. When I told Daniel about it, he didn't think it sounded very appetizing. Thankfully, he is willing to try new things. I read a few food blogs, and one of them is Pink Parsley. She always has really tasty sounding recipes and I've always enjoyed the ones I've made from her website. This recipe for Curried Butternut Squash Soup was no different. It was SO YUMMY! Daniel even liked it! It was smooth, warm, and even a little spicy. The flavors were all really good together.

So here is the recipe! Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Curried Butternut Squash Soup
adapted from The Pastry Queen, by Rebecca Rather
Serves 4 to 6

2 Tbs unsalted butter or olive oil
1/2 medium yellow onion, chopped
1 large carrot, peeled and sliced
1 1/2 lbs butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cubed
1 medium russet potato, peeled and cubed
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 1/2 Tbs curry powder
1/4 tsp nutmeg
pinch cayenne
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups chicken stock
1/2 cup milk (low fat or fat-free is fine)
1/2 cup heavy cream (optional) --I used the heavy cream
1 tsp honey
1/2 tsp paprika
Freshly ground black pepper
Sour cream or Greek yogurt, for garnish (I didn't use this, but I'm sure it would be really good!)

Melt the butter in a large saucepan or Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add the onion and carrot and saute over medium heat for about 3 minutes, or until the onions begin to soften. Add the squash potato, ginger, cinnamon, curry powder, nutmeg, cayenne, and salt. Saute for 2 minutes. Add the stock, milk, cream, honey, and paprika and bring the soup to a boil. Decrease the heat, cover the pot, and simmer the soup over low heat for about 45 minutes, or until the vegetables are soft.

*** Working in batches, puree the soup in a blender or food processor until smooth. Add black pepper to taste. If the soup seems too thick, add more milk or chicken stock. Serve hot with a dollop of sour cream or Greek yogurt on top. (I accidentally omitted this section because my printer didn't print it. It ended up tasting fine without blending it. Even though it was a little chunky, the vegetables were really soft.)

I made some homemade bread and it complemented it nicely.

So You Want to Go Back to Egypt?

Being raised in a Christian home meant that I grew up listening to a variety of Christian music, like Keith Green. Even though his life was tragically cut short, he wrote many songs that are still sung in churches today. One song, though not necessarily your typical praise chorus, came to mind this week as I read Numbers 14. “So You Want to Go Back to Egypt” is a lighthearted song about the serious sin of the Israelites as they wandered in the desert. In some ways it highlights how ridiculous and foolish it is to doubt God’s promises to us. Often our sin seems most hideous when we put it into the light, like this song does. And it’s a good reminder that we can fall into the same trap of complaining against what God has done for us.

In Numbers 14 the Israelites grumble and complain against Moses, and ultimately God, because their time in the wilderness is not what they thought it would be. God had promised them land, prosperity, and rest, and all they were experiencing was wandering and daily rations of manna. Where was this land flowing with milk and honey? Where was the promised prosperity? They were tired of living in tents, moving from place to place, and being led by a cloud. And they were certainly tired of following Moses, who somehow continued to lead them into more wilderness wanderings. To make matters seem worse, the land their spies scoped out in Numbers 13 was full of men much larger and stronger than they were. Surely there was some mistake. It all seemed so insurmountable, and very far from what they felt they deserved. The circumstances around them seemed to grow bigger and bigger, and God’s promises started to seem smaller and smaller. So they grumbled and looked longingly back at Egypt—the land of their slavery.

Their story has been convicting me greatly in recent days. I see myself in so much of the grumbling and bitterness that permeates these chapters. I have grumbled against God because of my circumstances. I have questioned his purposes for me and doubted his promises. I have ignored the clear evidences of his provision for me, focusing only on the one thing he was chosen not to give me right now. I, like the Israelites, look at my circumstances and think that anything is better than here. So what is the link between this ancient near eastern people and me?

Entitlement.

Because God has chosen me and made me his child, I assume that he should give me what I want. Because God has promised rest and comfort to his children, I assume (like the Israelites) that anything outside of that is less than what I deserve. Maybe I don’t blatantly say it, but in my heart and thoughts I believe it. And this feeling of entitlement finds its home and foundation in the sinful attitude of pride. The Israelites were prideful. They believed that God owed them something because they were his chosen people. But they believed it to their great peril.

The story doesn’t end with their grumbling. Numbers 14:28-38 shows us that it is serious to doubt God’s promises. Not only were they not allowed to enter the Promised Land, proving that they were never really saved, but those who brought a bad report about the land were destroyed immediately. Thankfully, God has not struck me down in the moment of my doubting. But it’s a warning to us all. We cannot take lightly the truth of God’s promises. He is a gracious, merciful, and loving God who promises good things to us. But he is also a jealous God, who does not want us to bring dishonor to him by telling a false story to the world about his goodness. When I act in unbelief I’m telling a lie about who God is.

There is hope for us though. Because we are in Christ, we have an advocate before the Father—Jesus Christ. His righteous atonement for our sin of unbelief (and every other sin) makes a way for us to turn from this sin and no longer live in bitterness and anger towards the God who saved us. This is good news for anyone struggling with unbelief. Yes, it is a serious sin. Yes, it grieves God and makes him (rightly) angry. Yes, we deserve eternal punishment for this sin, just like the Israelites. But God, in his great kindness, extended his scepter of mercy to sinners like us, through the powerful work of Christ on the Cross.

If you are struggling with unbelief today, you have a way of escape. Don’t be like the Israelites, who refused to look to the promises of God. Even if you are faced with a long wilderness journey right now, don't be fooled by the seemingly appealing memories of your life in bondage to sin. Look to the Promised One—Jesus. He is our only hope for rest in this life and in the one to come.

I'm Not What I Once Was

For a long time after my conversion I avoided memories of my former life at all costs. I wanted a fresh start. I wanted a new life, with new memories that didn’t even come close to resembling the Christ-less ones I reveled in before God saved me. I battled guilt, shame, and fear that my past would come back to haunt me. At first, it was a really good thing for me to be far away from my former life. I needed a change of scenery and freedom from the temptation to fall back into sin. And the farther removed I was from the debauched life I once lived, the less that life defined me.

Last week we drove through the city I lived in when God saved me. For the most part it only holds bad memories, memories I would much rather forget and pretend never happened. As we passed the familiar signs pointing to a life that now seems so distant, I was reminded of the importance of memory. Now with many years removed, and a host of good memories made since then, I have a different perspective on it all. For so long I’ve wanted to run from that life, but as I’ve gotten older I have learned that if I run I can’t remember.

Remembering is an important component of the Christian life. We remember the Cross and the great salvation attained for us there. We remember good days and milestones. We remember when God saved us and how it changed us completely. We remember words to songs that moved us and helped us grasp the beauty of Christ. But in this fallen world we also remember the bad. We are flooded with memories of how we have failed to live up to God’s standards, memories of the sin that separated us from God and threatened to undo us.

It took me a long time to know what to do with the bad memories. All I felt was guilt and shame whenever I thought back to my life before Christ. Maybe you feel that way too. Often when we think of our sin we feel crushed by the sheer magnitude of it. It disgusts us. But there is good news for us. If we are in Christ, that sin no longer defines us. It has been paid for. Romans 8:1 says: “for there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” That’s us! Satan wants nothing more than for us to believe the lies that our sins tells us—that we can never amount to more than the feelings of wretchedness. He also wants us to fail to remember, because when we forget what we were saved from we so easily forget how great Christ’s work on our behalf is.

It’s been a long process for me. For nearly eight years I couldn’t even imagine going near the places I used to live. It killed me inside knowing what my sin did to my family and my Savior. It also made me fearful, thinking that I would fall back into the same sinful patterns. But by God’s grace, last week I drove through that city, with my husband, and I was thankful. Thankful that God, in his great mercy, plucked me from my sinful state and made me his child. Thankful that my sin has been paid for and I no longer live condemned before the Father. Thankful that Christ’s righteousness is now my righteousness. Eight years ago I never would have imagined this for my life. But I am so very thankful that God takes sinful people, like you and me, cleanses us by the blood of his son, and makes us his own.

If you are feeling guilty over your sin today, or feeling like you can’t face the life you once lived, hear these words from the song, Before The Throne of God Above:

“When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see him there, who made an end to all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free; for God, the just, is satisfied, to look on him and pardon me.”

This is our story, dear Christians. Regardless of the sins you have committed, if you are in Christ, they are paid for by the Savior. You can face whatever past you may have with the hope that Jesus has changed you and made you a new creation, and your life can, and will, be a testimony to the amazing power of the cross for sinners like you and me.

Friday is for Fotos (on Saturday!)

Daniel and I just got back from spending most of the week in San Antonio, Texas (with some other stops along the way). One of the blessings of Daniel's job is that he has the opportunity to go to cool places, like Texas! Growing up I loved learning about the Alamo and always appreciate the chance to go there. We actually went on Veterans Day, so it was extra special seeing servicemen walking around as we toured the place. Besides the fact that I had a cold (again), the trip was pretty enjoyable! We ate lots of Mexican food, which always makes me happy. And I was able to show Daniel another part of Texas (and another area of where I used to live). Even though it was a fun trip, we are so glad to be home. Even the nicest hotel bed doesn't feel as amazing as our own, seriously.

When Life Begins

Many eyes were on Mississippi today as they ventured out to cast their vote in the important “personhood legislation” known as Initiative 26, stating that personhood begins when an egg is fertilized by a sperm. It is a polarizing piece of legislation that has led to harsh rhetoric from a variety of angles. I have not followed this story very closely, but one article that I read today enraged and saddened me.

Arthur Caplan is the director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania. He wrote an opinion piece posted on msnbc.com regarding the implications of this amendment. He states:

“Fertilized eggs could be granted human rights, depending on how Mississippi voters cast their ballots Tuesday on Initiative 26. The ballot measure, otherwise known as the "personhood" amendment, proposes to amend the state's constitution to redefine "person" to include "every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning, or the functional equivalent thereof." Among other things, it could mean that couples who have turned to fertility clinics for help becoming parents won’t be allowed to ever destroy their unused fertilized eggs.”

And this, he says, is in direct opposition to science—namely what we know about the conception process. Fertilized eggs cannot be considered human beings, in his opinion, because science does not allow for it. Science, he says, only calls a fertilized egg an embryo when it implants successfully in the uterus. And even then it’s not a baby yet.

What’s even more troubling about his conclusions is the fact that he brings miscarriage, stillbirth, and fetal death into his argument. He asserts that because nearly half of all pregnancies do not result in a living, breathing baby, those “fertilized eggs” were never really human after all. Using disappointed parents as his example, he says:

“Sadly, all too many couples know about the high rate of spontaneous abortion and stillbirth that haunts embryonic and fetal development. Roughly, one in six embryos will spontaneously abort or produce fetuses that do not develop properly and die in utero.”

Perhaps the most saddening statement of all, he further adds:

“Medicine and science know very well what many millions of heart-broken would be parents around the world know first-hand: To call all embryos “persons” flies in the face of spontaneous abortion, stillbirth and fetal death.”

What? How does calling a miscarried or stillborn baby “fly in the face” of this death? As a mother who has lost a child through miscarriage, I resent the sentiment that my loss proves to me (and the scientific community) that the baby I was carrying was actually nothing more than an ill-formed, fertilized egg. And I don’t know any woman who has experienced pregnancy loss who has felt what Mr. Caplan seems to think is the norm.

The problem with his views, and the views of many who dismiss pregnancy loss as a product of nature running its course, is that their views are informed by cold scientific theories rather than God’s word.

Psalm 139:3-4 and Jeremiah 1:5 were a great source of comfort to me in the days following our loss. God’s word taught me that our baby, even though he was still in the early stages of development, was known and loved by the God who created him. These verses, and the entire Bible, speak to the reality that so many mothers know to be true—life matters to God.

If we don’t define personhood from the beginning (at fertilization) then when does it begin? When there is a heartbeat? When the baby starts moving? When a woman sees those wonderful blue lines confirming pregnancy, she doesn’t tell her family and friends that she is carrying a fertilized egg (though according to Mr. Caplan that is the scientific name for it). She announces that she is pregnant with a baby, not a blob of tissue waiting to be developed into a person. When she finds out the gender of her baby, even though the baby cannot live outside of the womb, she names him or her. To her, this baby is loved, cared for, and wanted.

What Mr. Caplan fails to realize in his piece is that for the parents who lose children at various stages of pregnancy the loss is felt acutely—and often stays with them for a lifetime. My baby was not a fertilized egg that failed to develop, Mr. Caplan. My baby was a life, known by God and loved by his parents. He was a person at the moment of conception.